A Desolation of Hope (poems and such)

[calviness]

Hey, if I could get some critique or whatnot on some of this, that would be really great. I'll just post stuff in here when it comes to mind.

(they are very rough, so any help would be good)

Machinations

Whirling cogs sulk
beneath the unhealthy sheen
of Opal-tinted dreams [that are] oily,
with hope.

Thrumming to remind me
that the unstained pillowcase could be true -
when it whispers every morning
that I am beginning
nothing more than a new spin cycle
with the same dirty load,

and that some night I will
finally blink -
startled awake by my pillow prince’s kiss,

to find that the giddy laughter
echoing off these silver buttons
is only the sound of
the same smooth quarters
spilling out from my change machine.

Professor
Sweater vests
and horn-rimmed glasses – he is
the suave ladies-man
of the Intelligencia. It is
Machismo of the professorly sort –
the man behind the podium.

Without the grandfather trappings,
his bravado fades
and nothing is left but the same
towheaded boy,
scrabbling his fingernails against the wall
as he waits to fall asleep.

Rights

She hates it
when he calls her “cute.”
Attesting that she is anything but
small,
trite,
and insignificant.
Wielding her Wollenscroft
as a vindication of
her bristling,
unshaved legs
she is confident in her liberation.

But,
sometimes, when he grins
that one
freckled,
dimply smile –
she forgets to reprimand him
for opening her car door again,
blushing at the thought
that he thinks she is
“cute.”

Mother

A pair of broken castanets
and a feather boa –
carefully tucked away
in an underwear drawer.
Their absence masking
the childhood wings of an
unassuming housewife

First Date

Stale popcorn
is scattered among the empty,
thick-woven chairs,
and hollow pleasantries.
With the crushed kernels –
some half-eaten, others shattered :
folding in flower shapes
across the slanted floor –
lost jellybeans and sugardaddies lie
trapped in the spilled sprite,
waiting for the next
pair of sweaty, uncomfortable feet
to press them deeper into the cheap
spittle-shine linoleum.

Decadence

Half the lightbulbs
in your tipsy chandelier burst -
during Thursday's thunderstorm.

"Doesn't matter," you insisted.
Now it matches
the patchy wallpaper and bald velvet
of your treasured inheritance.

You propped the kitchen door
open, with the cigar-box from the master suite.
That way, the fitzing light slanted
across your 17 cent dinner
and the ancient bottle of Chardonnay you'd found
in the cellar.

You smoked your last cigarette
through a long cigarette-holder, directing me
as I rigged the chandelier chain
so that the light would hang closer to the doorway.

I knew you'd still be smoking
that same cigarette
after dinner; when you'd don
a moth-eaten, black negligee - and try to talk
like a Hepburn or a Hilton,
until we fell asleep.

Dinner
Scantily clad moose
eyeing my tasty pastry
get your own donut.

Sand Castles

I listened to your broken
air-conditioner, while you were sobbing to yourself,
upstairs in the linen closet;

it's drunken wheezing
dragging up childhood things. We're back to burying my broken bones in the sand.
You'll sculpt me a better shape -
an earthen body that you'll call
a masterpiece, and pretend to dance with.

Later, you'll careen down the banister,
shouting made-up obscenities, and
pointing at the blood that congeals
out of the past, onto your lip.
You loved insisting that I'd broken your nose.

You gathered up the brute's apologies
ordering the thousand grains into something
almost presentable.

We always knew the sand would rise
over my head, someday.  

[WildWildWindWhisperer]

Machinations: Loved it! I laughed, smiled, and was drawn to a charming mystical world that only brought me back to the reality of life. Sleeping dreams are fickle, but they are so wonderful too. I, am not going to suggest anything. Mostly, because I simply like it the way it is. Enjoyed the happiness it gave.

Professor : Umm. Not as charming as the above one but it was nice. If I may, suggest or piont out, something that has me curious. I found that maybe it seemed almost to end too quickly and could be leading to something more. However, it did not. With that said I do like it. Quite vivid with pictures.


Rights: Deeply philosophical. I do enjoy your 'random' way of placing words and phrases. You have me think and remember alot about various topics of life. I have no idea what to suggest. Therefore, I shall not and all since it is cool the way it already is.

Mother : Umm. Quick but thought provoking. Thank you!

First Date: You create amazing picture for the mind. I have never thought of a first date or dating from such a piont of view. However, it`s very enjoyable to read. Once more, I say that do like the random way you set words & phrases . Additionally, this one is charming like the first one is.


Decadence : Not quite captured by this one. Not sure why.

Dinner: Loved it! quick and smooth. Thank you.

Sand Castles : Oh my! Lovely, imaginative, touching and ...
You are more than a poet. Being a poet is wonderful but you could write stories. I so wish you would write. Thank you.


You are becoming a fave poet & read for me.
I look forward to more of your works.
Thank you, for your kindness of sharing!

Sincerely....
.......................WildwildWindWhisperer wink  

[calviness]

Thank you so much! It's funny that you mention stories, as that's what I usually write. I'm trying to get back into poetry, but I'm afraid that I'm more of a story-teller at heart. I'll think about expanding Professor, and see if I can't figure out what about Decadence it is that is distressing.

Thank you so much! Do you have stuff up that I could read of yours in return? I'll look around the guild...  

[WildWildWindWhisperer]

calviness

Thank you so much! It's funny that you mention stories, as that's what I usually write. I'm trying to get back into poetry, but I'm afraid that I'm more of a story-teller at heart. I'll think about expanding Professor, and see if I can't figure out what about Decadence it is that is distressing.

Thank you so much! Do you have stuff up that I could read of yours in return? I'll look around the guild...

****
Professor?! That is fun & funny. ( grin)

Indeed, lil ole me, does have some written works within this guild. None are serious efforts and are only 1st drafts. Thus, they all tend to be choppy, sloppy, and silly. My main thread is titled ' WildWildWindWhisperer`s Writing Realm' and a recently begun single story thread titled ' Secret Society '. The W.W.WindWhisperer`s Writing Realm is filled with many bits and pieces . You may need to jump a few posts on occasion, due to my silly rantings or a smilie quip of a bump. You may certianly have a peek if you wish. Leave a comment, or comments. I appreciate the kindness of opinions.

Thank you!

Later...
..................WildWildWindWhisperer wink