::I Was You:: ((thoughts?))

[Prince Lithium]

::I Was You::

So far from me
I can hear you sing
So far from me
I want to hear everything

Holding me down
I know it's no dream
Holding me down
"Please don't scream"

Waking my distant fears
I know why it's there
Waking my distant fears
I know that you don't care

So far from me
I now see the light
So far from me
I know something's not right

Holding me down
You laugh at what's inside
Holding me down
The pressure is enough to cry

Waking my distant fears
I toss them back at you
Waking my distant fears
I know that I was you  

[OptimisticallyPessimistic]

I did like it. How a person holds themself back. But still, I think you were doing that in this poem! To me it just seems unfinished. Although that could mean that it just needs one tiny detail, something you overlooked while writing? Anything. Otherwise it is quite real. Bravo!  

[Prince Lithium]

OptimisticallyPessimistic

I did like it. How a person holds themself back. But still, I think you were doing that in this poem! To me it just seems unfinished. Although that could mean that it just needs one tiny detail, something you overlooked while writing? Anything. Otherwise it is quite real. Bravo!

I was actually making it up as I went. I had some thought into it and it was always that I could do more to it, but I like it the way it is. The undoneness part of it, to me, gives it something that I can't explain.

Thanks for the compliment!!! biggrin  

[Prince Lithium]

bump