How to make Mary Sue into a Real Girl! (Or. Boy)

[Goddess_Nyko]

This Guide was posted on www.adultfanfiction.net by Maliafay

I don't own any of this and the link to the site is: http://resource.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090069&chapter=1  

[Goddess_Nyko]

How to make Mary Sue into a Real Girl! (Or boy.)

By Maliafey from Adultfanfiction.net

Warnings: Personal views and Language.

Introduction and Overview:

This guide consists of tips and discussion on how to make your original character, three dimensional enough that no ‘Sunatic’ (those charming folks that like to label original character’s as Sue’s by default.) can refute his/her presence within their beloved canon.

Litmus Test: (Ahem…no offense to the makers…honestly.)

I will never take it again.

That is the reason for this guide’s existence; my defiant way of refuting everything that test stands for. A bunch of points and questions DOES NOT determine if your original character is a Sue. Skill and plot are not factored into the final score--so if you’re a decent writer, but your character is screwing the canon character? Sueish. If he/she is pretty…Sueish. If he/she is related to any canon characters…Sueish. If he/she has an unusual name…Sueish. If he or she has powers? Sueish. God forbid they have all five! Just for ‘sleeping’ with a canon character is 4 points, and if they save a characters life? 3 points!

I think you’re starting to understand my frustration and the reason for this guide. Stop letting people dictate what YOU CAN WRITE! These are your stories damn it! You should do what you please!

I want to give an alternative and help you make a great OC again and again--no matter WHAT the fandom. Once you know the basics, it’s just like riding a bike…

Abbreviations that we will use: (since I’m too lazy to keep writing them.)

MS: Mary Sue

OC: Original Character

SS: Semi-Sue

CC: Canon Character.

In this chapter, I will take you through the definition of a “typical MS” and the meaning of the Semi-Sue ( or regular OC‘s). The collective “them” (Sunatics, fandom elitists, etc.) will tell you they mean the same; however, they are very different.

When you are through with this guide, you should have a better understanding of the differences between MS and SS‘s; how to give proper reviews to such ‘Suethor’s’, (authors that make the unwanted MS.) and to all authors in general. We will look at the basic concepts of character building, personality traits, negative, positive, crippling, background, appearance, and provide tips in general on how to breath life into your OC’s and even CC‘s. I will give tips on how to introduce your character, what not to do, and advice on CC’s and how to treat them. Then we will take a horrible MS, and make her into a plausible OC without damaging the original plotline…too much.

Now some definitions:

What is a ‘typical’ MARY SUE?

MS is the paragon of the author. His/her fantasy and ideal version of themselves…thrown into whatever canon is unlucky enough to spark interest. Almost all MS’s are ‘idolized self insertions’ and almost ALL canon characters will love them upon first sight. They will think MS is ‘endearing,’ despite his/her faults (IF she has any!) She/he will be beautiful to the point of tears. All stop and stare in wonder when MS walks by, amazed and astounded when MS solves a difficult puzzle or situation that for some reason--the canon characters could not.

She/he is perfect, she/he is sublime. The ‘Suethor’ will use this character to ridicule all CC’s that he/she does not like--and then cuddle up to all they love.

Sometimes, however, these Sues are tricky. They may die in a heroic fashion, usually with canon characters mourning their passing with wails and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes MS’s like to have a tragic, tragic past that elicits all around her/him to sympathize and offer her/him numerous shoulders to cry upon.

Each of these examples are common traits of a MS and all are examples of an author’s idealistic version of themselves--warping canon as well. Where MS is, there is usually OOC (out of character for CC‘s) to follow--leading to groans and heads slamming on desks from readers everywhere…

This is from my observation: This is idolized self-insertion! You usually find MS as an extension of a young author, or one that is inexperienced. The latter of the description…tragic past and dying, are examples of the author attempting to break out of the MS mode, but still employing the nauseating perfection. While this is not terrible, it makes for an unconvincing story, and makes readers want to pull their hair out.

While this may be a trait of inexperience, veteran authors may slip into this mode--usually not on purpose, but they lack the skill required to comprise realistic OC’s.



Canon Sues: Are easy to do, and are simply CC’s that have been warped little or beyond recognition by the author to suit his/her purposes. Many stories that involve change in sexual orientation can be labeled as this. Many that have storylines differing from canon events (I.e., Boromir dying in the LOTR book and movie, but stories have him alive and well.) However, these are what Fanfiction is all about. The ability to make our ‘ideal’ vision within an established fandom. These are fantasy--what we wish would happen, but the creator has not satisfied this desire.

While many of the above are readily accepted, there are a few Canon Sues that piss people off; so OOC (out of character,) that readers want to go blind after reading.

Think Legolas suddenly deciding he rather run off with elf princess Triadra than complete the fellowship quest. Think also Harry Potter suddenly deciding he rather wear dresses and panty hose than his robes and giving up magic all together. Or, when Leon Kennedy suddenly becomes a vampire creature that feeds off sex…(Heh, had to poke fun at myself here…)

All can be refuted however, by simply throwing up a OOC warning, or AU warning for that story. Canon Sues are very easy to get away with, since most characters are left to our interpretations. We may see Harry as a shy boy with an occasional attitude, but someone else may see timid behavior and angst brooding.

Lesser known characters are even harder--as well as video game characters. These only have a few moments of dialogue or cut scenes, and it’s hard sometimes to get a bead on what they’re really like. The way CC characters talk plays a crucial role as well. Pay attention to all lines, emotions, and the way a CC character gestures with their hands, eyes, body, etc. This will help you grasp their personality better.

The SEMI-SUE:

Are basically this: Well-written Mary Sues or original characters wrongly labeled as such.

These are the OC’s that run off with the main CC and get away with it. These OC’s may actually save the day, and you cheer for them. These OC’s may have that dreaded tragic past, beauty, and presence that rivals the CC, and yet, you strangely don’t mind. This OC may even (gasp!) be related to the main CC, and you find it interesting.

Why you ask? Because they are well-written. These OC’s have personality, plausible backgrounds, realistic reactions, flaws--focusing not on their beauty, but on how the CC responds to their presence and the OC to theirs. This OC may have powers, but they are held in check, this OC may be stunning in appearance, yet, is not highlighted upon or mentioned obsessively. This OC may have bad habits, rude behavior, get injured and actually BLEED, are slobs, confused, and basically folks, REALISTIC!

These OC’s are so damn real, that if JK. Rowling, Laurell K. Hamilton, Tolkien, or any canon author or creator were to suddenly introduce them--you would accept their presence with no questions asked.

However, these are unfortunately rare in the fandom world; and there is a fine, fine line between an annoying MS and a SS. Why again you ask? Because it depends entirely on the author’s skill level, and how mature they are with developing characters AND how well they know the canon of choice.

The SS is typical of brave authors, who want their OC’s ******** CC‘s without guilt, interacting with CC‘s, related to CC’s and (gasp again!) even saving the day without somehow being labeled an MS.



Now, I won’t bother with the useless sub categories of the MS (like Goth Sues, Hybrid Sues, etc.)--that’s for the folks with nothing better to do with their time. (Heh, like me and this guide!) I gave that one definition…and that should suffice.

Anyway, let’s move to reviewing that dreaded MS...  

[Goddess_Nyko]

Reviewing an MS and dealing with Troll/Flames…immature people as a whole:



Well now…this is a touchy subject…considering many, many people just LOVE to make fun of the MS.

Journal groups, online forums, and even fiction archives are the many communities that love plastering the MS all over the place. They point and laugh, then move onto the next. Now, not all groups are that hateful toward MS: some Live journal groups are pretty friendly and will attempt to help hone your MS into something plausible instead of dragging your SUE into the backyard and shooting them. ‘Suethors’ should take note of these, and try and improve your OC’s through discussion and asking for feedback. Links to these groups, (Live journal only.) will be at the end of this guide.



Constructive Reviews:

Now, this is where things can get a bit muddled, confused and taken the wrong way. The internet is a grand thing, but words without vocal tone and expression have a way of coming across snidely. Consider this when writing your review. Read over what you write before posting, and if you find it offensive from your point of view--chances are, the author might view it worse.

Constructive reviews should ideally have an equal positive to every negative point. This will balance things overall and should give the author incentive to take what you say seriously.

Now, I hear this all the time, and I will refute it.

“Well, they post on the internet so they should have a thicker skin.”

Perhaps, but you should have some tact.

Works both ways folks. Authors who stomp their feet and over constructive criticism probably don’t deserve your interest, and readers that write rude reviews don’t deserve the authors attention. Common sense. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes for a minute. How would you feel if you received an unfavorable reaction? Especially if you put thought into your comment, and tried hard to be unbiased? I don’t care how awful the writing is, or how MS, or how an OC acts--be respectful. This is how flame wars start. If you want to drone on and on about the grammar, typos, and little nitpicks--them email to the author privately. Do not spam their review board with nothing but corrections…it’s tacky. If they do not have their email displayed, then leave a review telling them you have some corrections to bring to their attention, and you would appreciate an email back.

If they don’t respond--then they don’t. It’s their loss. Don’t have a temper tantrum and troll their review board over the fact they didn’t answer you back. Be an adult about it.

Readers: Unless the author requests it: Do not leave one liners demanding things like updates, pairings, plot switches, and just being plain annoying. Authors write mainly for themselves first--you second. Stop mandating like a brat over what YOU want. You as the reader, are along for the ride--nothing more. However, authors do CARE what you think overall…your response is valuable, but it just isn’t the sole reason they write. (At least…it shouldn’t be.) Many readers seem to forget that fact and start demanding things. Instead, write about what you enjoyed most about the chapter, or story as a whole. If you like their prose style, then say so. If you liked how one character reacted to something--SAY SO. Personally, one liners do nothing for me. I learn nothing from them, and all I get is a notch on my review count. Pretty much, it’s like drinking decaffeinated coffee when I want the caffeine buzz--it falls short.

Many authors WANT to know what you thought…good and bad.

Authors: Stop acting like your writing is infallible. It’s not perfect and nor will it ever be. Writing, like art and music, is a constant learning process. You never reach the ‘top’ of your craft--like numbers, there is no end to how much you can learn and hone your skills. One way is practice; another way is listening to those readers who give constructive advice. Don’t shut them out because you don’t want to hear it. If a review upsets you…take a few days to simmer down, and then come back and look at it objectively. Regardless of tone or wording, if the reader has valid points--don’t ignore them. Only ignore the flames and trolls--however, note this: even a flame may hold something valuable under the rudeness and arrogance. So try to see things through their eyes. Are they right? Do you have typos, POV switching, plot confusion, MS, CC Sue, grammar errors? If you do--edit them! Don’t freak about it like it’s the end of the world. The only way you learn is through mistakes. No one will think your ‘caving‘ or stupid if you edit what needs to be. It makes you a better writer in the long run.



Personal note: The advice above? I need to follow it myself. This is one of the reasons I’m writing this guide. I’ve made the flamer mistakes when I reviewed and posted so-called constructive crits; barely mentioning any good points of the story and riddling my review with what I thought needed improving. I was a snide know-it-all when I reviewed some folks and I also replied to trolls on my own story on FF.net. NEVER reply to trolls! Do not give them the satisfaction!

So don’t be like me and be a whiny b***h! Authors, be mature and respectful to your fellow authors and readers. Readers? Be respectful to your fellow readers and authors.

Final Words:



Authors, don’t expect reviews to be 100% glowing. If you’re receiving such, be a little wary about the sincerity of the feedback. Not that it’s terrible to receive happy bouncing reviews, but be mindful that too much positive can hurt as well.

On dealing with disgruntled fans: Some people will dislike what you’ve done with a OC, or canon character, or plotline, or even pairing. If you don’t agree with their personal opinions--then agree to disagree and move on. Do not waste time fighting with people who will never see eye-to-eye with you--it’s useless.

Readers treat ALL authors with respect. Yes, that even goes for Mary Sues. Flaming them, trolling them, posting them to communities to poke fun is childish and does nothing to help the author. Some would refute this and say ‘Suethors’ won’t take the advice. Maybe not always, but the few who will are worth treating better than that. I admit I’ve done it myself in the past…but I’ve changed my mind. I saw how hurtful it was to the few I posted, and will never do it again…

Onto Character building…  

[Goddess_Nyko]

Character building: First steps in comprising your OC.

Background.

This is very important since it shapes the way your OC reacts and views the world around him/her. This is the first place you really should start…appearance, names, and other factors come afterward. Consider this the sketch before the painting.

Environment and parents play a crucial role on how a person develops from an infant to adult. Children can begin storing memories as early as two years old, but more commonly around age three. This is when the human mind begins to perform cognitive thinking and personality develops. It is likely a traumatic event during the ages of 3 to 5 years old will have severe repercussions throughout a person’s life. (Though, any event that is damaging will have affect regardless of age--but children at this stage can be more susceptible to outside stimuli.) Likewise if the child matures within a happy, healthy home.

Let’s give an example of environment and how it affects a person’s personality.

Mark lives in the bad part of town, surrounded by crack houses and gang violence. He’s been around it all his life, and sees the drive by’s and drug deals as the norm rather than exception. Say, he has no siblings and has only his mother as the caregiver. She would be probably at work all the time to keep food on the table, leaving her son alone at home, or perhaps with a boyfriend or relative. Like most kids, he has a TV and goes to school, probably noticing his environment is not ideal compared to other families and their hometowns. As Mark grows older and more mature, he may resent those more fortunate than he, perhaps even blaming them for the state of his part of town, and become bitter over the lack of choices presented to him. This may lead to sullen behavior, envy, insecurity, depression, displays of temper and even violence. He may lash out in disruptive ways; with vandalism, stealing, fights, disrespecting authority and sneering at all that evince the “better life.” Statistically Mark will probably be in jail by the time he’s 18, and the rest of his life will consist of in and out of these facilities--and quite possibly dying at a young age from the environment that molded him.

Let’s do that again. This time, let’s say his mother was very religious. She instills values and morals on Mark--insisting that he read the bible and pray every night. With this influence, Mark may still resent the world around him, but might also aspire to escape into a good college and find a career to better himself and his family’s situation. He stays away from the drugs and the gangs as best as he can, focusing on school and keeping himself clean. Some traits that Mark may exhibit could be: stubbornness, willfulness, determination, anger at the people who make his part of town difficult to live in, shyness around people,( may stem from feeling inferior.) introvert, loner, feelings of inadequacy when placed in a room of his peers, sensitivity to his surroundings--perhaps easily frightened as well. (Living in gangland just might do that.)

Let’s do it again.

Mark now has an older brother Carl involved in a gang--in fact, let’s make him the leader of the gang. Mom is still religious and influences Mark heavily with values. She is saddened that Carl refuses to leave that life, and desires that Mark stay away from it. Carl and Mother probably fight constantly, leaving Mark witnessing the conflict and family instability first-hand. Mark may feel guilt if he refuses his brother’s coercion to come along on gang business--this may lead to resentment and estrangement between the brothers as Mark gets older. Mark may shy away from close relationships in the future, maybe feels envy when observing normal families on television or friends. Feelings of regret, of resentment, bitterness that his brother wasn’t strong enough to leave that life behind. Mark may become cold and withdrawn, letting his anger get the best of him and affect his views on society as a whole.



Three different situations and three different variables that changed Mark’s personality and attitude. Take this into consideration when comprising background for your character.

Random things to consider:

How were he/she’s parents? What were their views? Were they prejudiced toward anything? Opinionated? Were they religious? Did they have vices and negative traits that might affect their children? (I.e., Drinking, partying, unstable mental conditions, selfishness, quick to anger, strange habits and views, etc.) Were they affectionate? Or were they withdrawn and sullen. Did they say “I love you” often? Were they always fighting with one another? What about the grandparents? Their temperament and views? Are they old fashioned or modern? What about siblings? How many brothers or sisters did your OC have? Did this affect their personality? Did they get along with their siblings? What if they were an only child? How could this affect their mentality and behavior? What if your OC had no parents? Who was their guardian or caregiver? How did they treat your OC? Would lack of family affect them negatively?

I could digress on and on, but I think you get the idea. Parents and family are key elements that heavily influence temperament, attitudes and values.

Take into consideration other environmental factors such as:

Culture: Another big one. Chances are, growing up in Japan is a lot different than growing up in the US. Factors such as local religion, myths, social order, and general views on society may differ greatly from region to region and from decade to decade. Obviously if your character is placed in Victorian times--he/she will have different views and quirks than if he/she lived in modern day. Take this factor of environment as seriously as parents and home life.

Schooling: This one will influence your OC on some level. What is their education? What did they specialize in? Did thy have a lot of friends? Popular? Outcast? Class jock or homecoming queen? Do they remember their high school years fondly? Do they still despise the head cheerleader? Did they draw, write, participate in sports, band, or the choir? Boyfriends or Girlfriends? How would these relationships affect your character down the road?

Workplace: What kind of job do they have? What does it entail? Are they social there? If it is a odd job such as assassin, government agent, xenobiologist--how did they acquire such a job? What schooling did they receive to qualify? What are the perks/disadvantages of this job? How does their job affect them emotionally? Are they easily stressed? Became time sensitive, obsess over details? How are the fellow co-workers? The boss? Are they kind? Rude? Pressuring? Is their heavy competition for advancement? Is your OC’s job constantly on the line?

Social: Friends, significant others, acquaintances…these are the other factors you can consider. A bad break up may have repercussions for years…and a best friend’s betrayal can stay for life. These can profoundly affect your OC if the incident is bad. Likewise though, if your OC is surrounded by caring and considerate friends.

External influences: They range from rare to common. Traumatic events such as accidents, death of a loved one, world wide events, wars, famine, floods, weather in general, (tornados, hurricanes--hurricane Katrina certainly influenced everyone within New Orleans and the other areas hit.) money problems, as well as good events such as fame, honors, promotions, marriage, new baby, new job…etc. These are factors you may consider if you wish.

Final thoughts:

You may reveal as little or as much as you want about your OC’s past. Some characters are better as mysterious--others we might want to know more. Trust your instincts on how much to reveal. Try not spilling it all within the first paragraph; like ‘appearance’ details (next chapter actually,) these should be scattered, or perhaps revealed in flashback form, dialogue or memory. As long as YOU know where your OC comes from--what shaped him/her, then that’s all that matters. When you have a clear view of your OC’s past, writing them and their personality will become easier.

Speaking of which--let’s get on with the appearance, something that also considers in personality…  

[Goddess_Nyko]

Defining Your OC:

Appearance: Lets look at appearance: What I suggest and not suggest.

First things first: What should you do?

Anything you want.

Yes, I said that right.

Look, I don’t care what some test says, or any Sunatic; you can make your OC’s beautiful, ugly, slobby, fat, thin, bald, tattooed, endowed, hybrids, fairies, elves--you name it, you go ahead and do it.

However, this is what NOT to do: Describe it in detail.

Yes, you heard me right again, and before you start wailing and crying that “But my OC has long silver hair! Why can’t I describe it endlessly?” Think of this:

I know when I read a story, and I’ll use Ms. Hamilton ( Anita Blake novels.) as an example. With all due respect to Ms. Hamilton, I don’t like details fired at me as if I’m in the middle of a tennis court with balls flying at my head. She does this and it makes me cringe. She is a good author, and published, but her paragraph long descriptions of what people are wearing, and appearances are simply exhausting . I usually skip the whole damn thing until she shuts up. I’m not the only one; many of her readers roll eyes when she begins rambling about what gun holster Anita’s going to wear today. Who the hell cares? Get on with the story!

Still think this is just my opinion?

Pick up any published fiction, and normally, 9 times out of 10, the author will not go into detail about their OC. It will come out little by little…not all at once. Even Ms. Hamilton doesn’t over do it too much when she just begins…and instead opts to smack you a few pages in. Normally the character is in the midst of doing something, thinking, etc. and the author only gives you snippets of what they look like. Some however, like Stephen King will give you NO detail on the main character. You are left to your imagination on what the protagonist looks like. I personally like knowing who I’m reading about; their appearance and so forth--but just not flung at me like a fat wet snowball. .

When your character is introduced…DO NOT describe them!

NO.

There is no reason for immediate age, amber eyes, pouty lips, silver hair, lithe and graceful arms, etc, etc. Instead, have your OC thinking about something, maybe fiddling with an object, standing somewhere, in a crowded area, perhaps covertly sneaking into a building, waiting for someone, walking somewhere, performing some sort of action, sitting in class, in the woods, in the garden, in their living room, in the shower…I could go on…but focus on what THEY ARE DOING, THINKING, PERFORMING…not on how they bloody look!

A MS is immediately labeled on how extensive their appearance ‘intro’ is. I know when I click on a story, and details of hair, eyes, face, lips, clothing are hurled at me like missiles, I’ll duck and click right back out.

Now, does this mean you never describe them? No, it doesn’t. But PACE your descriptions throughout your writing. Try actually to not (and this is very, very hard I know…I fail all the time actually.) mention ANY appearance detail in the first chapter the OC is introduced. If you can’t stand it and must describe, only do it in tiny amounts--and scatter these, only mentioning a few at a time and then move on with the action, dialogue, etc. Sometime later, maybe mention one more. However, this pertains to YOUR CHARACTER ONLY. When describing other characters you may give more detail if you wish, (yet, still only do a few at a time, not long drawn out paragraphs. A few sentenced will suffice, or scatter the detail.) but treat your OC like she/he is a humble soul and has no inkling how wonderful or unusual they look. If the person’s clothing plays a role, you may substitute that for hair or eyes. Over detailing is a trait that many authors (including me.) have issues with.

Now I’m sure you’re all irritated about this or don’t understand--so for those who need further convincing, I’ll give you an example of scattering:


***

Tony grimaced at his hands, using his thumb to flake away the remaining clay until the skin flushed red and tingled with complaint. He sighed and reached for the lotion on the counter nearby, swiveling the wobbly stool he sat upon with a piercing creak. As he watched, the wet vase in front of him sloped to one and he gave a small, irritated sigh. “There goes another one, “ He said aloud, his voice echoing slightly within the studio, scratchy with disappointment.

He rubbed the lotion absently, cringing a little as his raw skin stung from the thick cream and flopped his wrists to hurry the absorption along. With another annoyed glance at his failed project, he undid the bandana around his head and allowed tangled, dark hair release and his scalp to breathe. Brushing his bangs away impatiently, he cleaned his mess, lumping the remains of his ‘vase’ into a tray and throwing his shaping tools alongside with a clatter.

He would never get it right.

With muscles aching terribly, his stretched his lean form and groaned, yawning as he glanced at the clock suspiciously. Damn, he had lost track of time again. If he hurried home, he could get at least four hours of sleep before class. Not that it would do much good. Lately, no matter how tired he was, sleep evaded him. So many odd dreams…it made him toss and turn at night--lost inside a world of chaos and mist.

It would be hell waking in the morning; he could already imagine Susan’s reproving glare when she caught sight of his bloodshot green eyes, stooped posture and dull ape-like grunts. A solid reprimand would follow of course--when it came to his best friend, her zealous concern often overwhelmed him…

***


Okay… Now what did we gather about dear Tony here?

Tony has longish dark hair, green eyes, lean stature, and a rough voice. We also figured he aspires to be a potter, or at least is dabbling with ceramics. (Unsuccessfully I might add.) We also found out Tony here has been having odd dreams…and he has an overprotected best friend named Susan.

Notice how I scattered all those details around without overwhelming the reader. In fact, if one read fast enough, those details might just slip by. Also note I omitted clothing. There really is no need for it here. I might add it later perhaps if I had continued on, but for this exercise, I focused only on the hair, eyes, and body. However, you may allow the reader to draw their own conclusions about his attire. Tony’s in a studio, messing around with wet clay, dry hands, and bandana around his head--chances are, he’s not in formal wear. He seems like a T-shirt and jeans kind of guy--laid back and casual.



Okay, so let’s move on to your OC observing a CC.

This is the Silent Hill fandom, and when Daniel (OC) first sees Henry* (CC):

“Daniel did not answer right away; instead, he squinted into the room, taking note of Henry’s surroundings before appraising the man himself.

Candle light doused the walls orange and thin shadows flickered along with the flames. The furniture seemed different from when Daniel saw Walter seated in the living room a few nights ago--less tattered and stained. Pictures hung upon the wall, but the details were fuzzy from where he was kneeling. His narrow view fell upon a storage box that Henry was sitting against; the lid open and he could see an array of weapons peeking from the top. The handle of an axe, a golf club, the butt of a shotgun, and what appeared to be the tail end of a baseball bat--all jutted above the rim, as if Henry searched through his stash before Daniel had interrupted.

Henry fidgeted with a pistol in his hands, the make and model unknown to Daniel. He kept twirling and twirling it around, watching the hole warily from across the room. He looked about average height, medium build, with dark shaggy hair that hung over the tips of his ears and jade colored eyes. His shirt seemed off-white, but with the glow from the candles, it was hard to tell. Crimson flecks splattered one shoulder, and the bottom looked frayed and torn; more red blotched the faded blue jeans that he wore, and tuffs of dried grass clung to one of his dark shoes. Henry obviously ventured outside at one point, perhaps got into a scuffle or two. Was it with Walter? How did he get outside?

“I said who are you? What are you doing in Eileen’s apartment?” His voice still held that tremor, but Daniel could tell he tried to convey authority. It would have brought a smile to his face any other time, but now he was too tired to assuage unnecessary fears…

Not that this is 'not' the paragon of descriptions, but notice I took time and care how Henry looked and behaved. Typical MS are selfish creatures…focusing only on how ‘they’ look and maybe...MAYBE the CC they want to marry by the end of the story. I also took care on how Henry reacts to Daniel--keeping him within character (shy, unassuming…a little timid.) as he interacts with this OC. Realism is the key, and I hope these examples help you…

Final thoughts:

I want to reiterate the fact you may have your OC as lovely or disgusting as you want. The key is realism, and writing details so they don’t overwhelm the story. Once you get this down, your prose will display balance between characters, allowing each to shine as they should. As far as how your OC looks compared to their personality traits--well, I’m sure things like beauty and ugliness will have a effect. So will birth defects and missing limbs. Things like scars and baldness may affect your OC in a negative fashion. Be aware of how appearance may add to your characters general attitude.

On to the Personality Traits!

(*note, that I am providing an example of my writing ONLY because I don’t want to plagiarize another author for examples. This is not because I’m arrogant as one individual accused…)  

[Goddess_Nyko]

Personality and attitudes:

Here is where we’re going to get extensive. Be aware I use psychology as a basis for what I’m about to show you. There are many factors and traits that humans display outwardly as well as inwardly. Some are influenced by parents and environment as we covered in the background chapter. Others, are simply inherent, or argued inherent. I’m not going to spew full blown psychology at you…we are just going over the known groups.

I’m going to simplify it as much as possible.



The ‘Big Five’ and how it applies to your OC:

These are the theoretical factors that determine human persona. They are also argued endlessly by psychiatrists who disagree with some points, but most accept these as a broad basis for measuring personality and analysis of the human mind. Don’t freak over the technical terms here, I’ll attempt to explain them without all that medical mumbo jumbo. Each group has it’s counterpart listed below.





Extroversion: Simply, someone who actively seeks the social world and external stimuli. Think outgoing and bubbly. Usually experience positive emotions, seek company with people, life of the party, enjoys being the center of attention. These folks will go out of their way to start a conversation with a complete stranger, dance on the table tops without being drunk, and usually the first to volunteer when giving speeches in class. They are friendly, agreeable, enthusiastic, and the first to say Let’s go!”

VS

Introvert: Opposite of the Extrovert. Quiet and withdrawn, tends to shy away from people, moody, brooding, tends to stay to oneself. Loner, wallflower, tends not to draw attention to themselves. Think that kid in the back of the classroom; you know, the one that you can never remember their name? Other examples: the moody loner that every woman is drawn toward, and that shy girl who rather chew off her arm than speak up for herself.

***

Neuroticism: A tendency to experience negative emotions. Think moody, irritated easily, depressed, worrier, complainer, quick to anger. The kind of folks that you associate with temperamental outbursts, road rage, annoyed over small things, sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat.

VS


Emotional Stability: These are the people who are calm, controlled, less prone to outbursts, the kind of people you want by your side when in a stressful situation. These qualities make good leaders, and the type to take control when everyone’s running around and screaming. Think the head surgeon in the operating room, a captain of a ship…etc.

***

Agreeableness: These folks are the caregivers, helpful, honest, kind, listeners, ready and willing to jump into that lake to save your butt from drowning. They care whether or not you had a bad day, they believe the best in people, optimists. These folks are like Martha Stewart and Oprah...paramedics, firefighters, police--always ready and willing to help others and are usually sincere when doing so.

VS

Disagreeable: Those people that are selfish, cold, unwilling to listen, care only about their interests, will not bother listening to others problems, Skeptical, critical--that old cranky man that lives down the road and hates children, movie critics, scientists, and even some doctors.

***


Conscientiousness: Remember that girl who always was on time? Never sick? Always seemed to have a plan? Well, she was conscientious! Dutiful, reliable, thorough, persistent, orderly, achievers, go-getters. These folks are seen as intelligent and reliable, the one who is never late, messy, and wants to be president someday. Downside of this trait might have others viewing this OC as boring and predictable…

VS


Unconscientious: Big surprise on this opposite. Impulsive, lazy, slobby, unreliable, untrustworthy, absent-minded, doesn’t have a clue. These are the folks who are ALWAYS late, never where you need them to be, untrustworthy; the one who leaves their dirty dishes for you to wash, and pizza crust still in the fridge. The one who can’t seem to get motivated to come to work on time, yet will bounce out the door to party early. These people can be seen as fun and spontaneous, but generally are not good to rely on.



Openness to experience: Basically, those who are open-minded. Willing to try new things and loves change. Creative, curious, eager to explore, appreciate beauty, sensitive to culture, aware, open to new ideas. writers, artists, explorers, and scientists can have this trait.

VS


Closed-Minded: Are those who are the stick-in-the-mud’s, conventional, dislikes new things, hates change, will not venture into the unknown, finds art and expression a complete waste of time. Bigoted, holds onto their opinions like a security blanket. If these types of folks had their way, we would never of had electricity, shopping malls, TV, movies, cars, etc. These are the people who resent change and new ways of doing things. Have their own opinions and stick by them without budging an inch either way. Think your grandma and grandpa whining about the good ‘ol days and they never had kids running around with pink hair and tattoos. Think of those who are adverse to the new way a building looks…wishing that they kept it like ‘before‘. These people have a tendency to whine and gripe about things that make them actually think for themselves.





Final words on the Big five:

These are only models of the basic personalities. Most people have traits from all five groups, but normally will have one group they fit most within. This is just to give you an idea of how your character can be established. The key here is realism and consistency. Do not take traits and just mix them together and then hope that makes your character real. Remember background first, then appearance may play a role. THEN study these and pick one you feel fits your character most, then give her/him some other qualities to go along. Remember, a good leader will normally not be reckless with lives--and a broody person will not suddenly jump with joy at the prospect of being center stage…


Now that we got the basics covered, we can go and break this down further…  

[Goddess_Nyko]

Personality traits: attitudes and attributes:

Let’s group these within the Big Five so it might be clearer with what you have in mind for your OC. We will also do the counterparts for each as well. However, I don’t list every kind of trait known to man; this is only for reference so you become aware of what personalities go with what traits. Some traits will ellipse other groups…so don’t worry if you see the same one more than once.



Extrovert: (Outgoing and life of the party.)

Attitudes and attributes: Affectionate, candid, cheerful, accepts change, courageous, enthusiastic, faith in life, faith in others, flexible, friendly, generous, goodwill, kind, open-minded, optimistic, honest, involved, self-confident, tolerant, high self-esteem, self-reliant, selfless, sincere, trusting, thoughtful, bubbly, carefree, risk-taker, confident, reliable, independent, charismatic, sensitive, trust-worthy, adventurous, alert, dynamic, energetic, healthy, imaginative, initiates, leads others, motivated, innovated, stamina, decisive, lacks restraint.


***

Introvert: (Quiet, withdrawn, stays out of the limelight.)

Attitudes and attributes: Sensitive, distant, cold, aloof, guarded, cheerless, gloomy, rude, unenthusiastic, uptight, insensitive, unhelpful, pessimistic, indifferent, arrogant, unkind, selfish, insincere, unconfident, suspicious, timid, shy, intolerant, distrusting, impassive, depressed, broods, resentful, angry, easily annoyed, reluctant, defiant, low self esteem, fearful, creative, indecisive, confused, alcohol, drug dependant, passive, clumsy, ignorant, impatient, impoverished, whiny.

***

Neuroticism: ( Easily irritated, cranky.)

Attitudes and attributes: Quick to anger, rude, snide, cranky, nosy, selfish, inconsiderate, rejects assistance, hostile, brooding, callus, aloof, cold, views others as unreliable, complainer, prejudiced, controlling, whiny, hateful, conceited, immature, vain, prideful, blames others, petty, suspicious, mistrusting, stubborn, pretentious, destructive, ignorant, biased, impatient, previous failures in school, work, home, erratic moods, judgmental, insensitive, envious, sullen, poor attitude, pessimistic, haughty, worries all the time, manipulative.

***


Emotional Stability: ( Calm, collected.)

Attitudes and attributes: Patient, calm, serene, content, slow to anger, ambitious, aspiring, candid, courteous, considerate, decisive, determined, endures, faith in self, flexible, forgiving, friendly, hard-working, honest, involved, perfects, punctual, reliable, respectful, responsible, self-confident, self-reliant, achieves, goal oriented, constructive, deliberative, disciplined, educated, has direction, assertive, enterprising, focused, has initiative, improves, knowledgeable, motivated, observant, personal, objective, leader, organized, resourceful, relaxed, unworried, stamina, sees the whole picture.

***


Agreeableness: ( Helpful, kind, honest.)

Attitudes and attributes: Good listener, kind, considerate, goodwill, generous, caring, honest, thoughtful, supportive, selfless, insightful, objective, patient, polite, well mannered, reasonable, affectionate, loyal, cheerful, faith in others, humble, reliable, mature, involved, modest, optimistic, practical, sympathetic, giving, sincerity, hopeful, good natured, sensitive, has faith in general, believes everyone can be saved, everyone deserves a second chance, unbiased, willing to go on a limb for someone, straightforward, compassionate, cooperative.


***


Disagreeable sad selfish, cold, unwilling to listen.)

Attitudes and attributes: thoughtless, rude, thinks the world revolves around them, angry, selfish, insensitive, uncaring, apathetic, indifferent, anti-social, petty, arrogant, straightforward about the fact they don’t care, self-centered, unhelpful, impolite, hostile, does what is convenient for them, others can’t be relied on, controlling, unforgiving, stingy, hatred, ungrateful, envious, pessimistic, shallow, small-minded, dull, conservative, ignorant, ill mannered, impatient, blunt, hording, prideful, lazy, unmotivated, inconsiderate, looks out for themselves only, coward, fearful, bully, insists on their views.

***


Conscientiousness: (reliable, hard-working.)

Attitudes and attributes: Punctual, go-getter, always has a plan, reliable, successful, well-mannered, brownnoser, achieves, no drug use, aware, calm, cleanliness, conscious, goal oriented, constructive, detail obsessive, delegates, disciplined, educated, efficient, enterprising, entrepreneurial, envisions the future, experienced, stamina, fortitude, idea-driven, imaginative, initiates, insightful, intelligent, motivated, lucky, objective, perfectionist, innovated, knowledgeable, forthright, organized, risk-taker, responsible, works well with others, team player, self-reliant, practical, enduring, mature, cooperative, embraces change, aspiring, systematic, work comes first.



***


Unconscientious: (Slob, lazy.)

Attitudes and attributes: Always late, unreliable, inconsiderate, thoughtless, carefree, untidy, lazy, no goals, unmotivated, listless, indecisive, gives up, can’t be trusted, indifferent, unfocused, wasteful, immature, unresponsive, lack of discipline, dependant, insincere, unkempt, confused, ignorant, maybe alcohol and drug abuse, reckless, uncreative, passive inefficient, low effort, clumsy, inexperienced, submits, poor judgment, lack of skills, selfish, stays the same, no desire to improve, procrastinator, pleasure seeker, good-for-nothing.



***


Openness to experience: (Creative, open-minded.)

Attitudes and attributes: Creative, appreciative, loves beauty, open-minded, courageous, adventurous, observant, resourceful, innovative, insightful, curious, idea-driven, focused, dynamic, thinker, doer, aware, optimistic, alert, achieves, tolerant, aspiring, something new is around the corner, motivated, sincere, believes things could be better, revolutionary, adventurous.

***


Close-minded: (conventional, dull, hates new ideas.)

Attitudes and attributes: Uncreative, dull, boring, stays the same, uninspired, lacks motivation, indifferent

Insensitive, rude, listless, rejects change, constricted, narrow-minded, guarded, inflexible, stingy, lazy, no new ideas, suspicious, pessimistic, ignorant, uneducated, jumbled goals, lacks effort, biased, distant, old views, selfish, hostile, fearful of change, restrictive thinking.

CRIPPLING FACTORS:

These are what some Sunatics like to see for some reason. They think it makes the character more REAL. Yes it makes for some compelling reading, but realistically, some of these attributes would be devastating to the character. If you choose to endow your OC with any of these below, remember that it will affect their ENTIRE personality. The way they think will be changed, damaged; reactions would be different, as well as their general out look on life. These factors usually will take number one priority in a OC’s life…so keep that in mind please!

Phobias: These irrational fears may range from “fear of spiders” to “fear of tinfoil.” (Yes, tinfoil.) Please do your research into these--and if you somehow can, try witnessing how someone reacts to their worst fear. Trust me, it isn’t pretty.

Disfigurements: Loss of limb, scars, baldness, birth defects, pockmarked skin, etc. Are all examples of physical appearance handicaps. These will undoubtedly cause personality changes when in public, and in intimate situations. As I will state over and over. Research any disfigurement and the psychological effects before applying it to your OC.

Handicaps: Loss of sight, hearing, legs, mobility, etc. These of course are no different. Someone blind will ‘see’ the world differently than a sighted person. Mostly through sound and touch. Someone whose deaf will view the world through sight. A wheelchair bound person may be depressed (if the event just happened) or completely fine with his/her aliment. Either way, having to depend in others for many things might affect personality and general outlook on life. Ask yourself, what would your OC do in this situation? How would they behave?

Mental disabilities: Bi-polar, schizophrenia, downs syndrome, autism…these will affect your OC profoundly if he or she has the condition. While all may differ in severity--they will affect the individual on more than one level. Do research into these is you apply them to your OC. They are highly complex, and require delicate and apt handling to write them properly. Most will have medication, hospitalization, outbursts, erratic behavior, violent behavior, quirks, and often are disruptive to everyone around them. This is not always, but again, research is the key.

Psychological disorders, Social disorders: Night terrors, Obsessive compulsive disorders, severe shyness, anxiety, paranoia…all these will affect as well. A person who experienced night terrors might only sleep in the daytime. A obsessive person will check a locked door twenty times before they’re satisfied it’s locked. Research, research…

Obsessive and homicidal urges: Serial killers have to start somewhere. These tendencies will usually start early (I.e., little five year old Bobby likes to kick puppy’s around and torture them. Maybe when he becomes older, he stalks the homecoming queen.) Normally almost full introverted and neurotic folks--quirky and eccentric, but may appear completely normal on the outside. They may shy away from people, and give off a weird vibe to some folks. Usually obsessions consume their life. These are the fun traits if you’re building an antagonist, but tread carefully if you’re applying them to the hero. Non-con and bsdm fiction have plenty of these folks…

Medical Aliments: Cancer, diabetes, heart problems, weak bones…these will affect as well. If your OC just found out he/she has cancer, how would they deal with it? How would they deal with treatment. Likewise if your OC has had it all their life. How did they adapt? Is their family supportive? Do people feel sorry for them. How is their outlook on life?

Traumatic events: Accidents, death of a loved one, severe weather, (yes weather affects! Think hurricane Katrina folks!) assault, manslaughter, witnessing a murder…all these are like a punch in the stomach for any OC. Your character no doubt will have lingering effects from anything on that list. Bad dreams, fears, depression, guilt, grief, anxiety--are a few of what your OC may feel. They may act irrational over their beloved’s death, or feel guilt ridden if they caused an accident. Be aware of how these affect personality!





Composing characters using traits from the Big Five:

Remember, everyone has a little bit of each, or at least more than one group. I’ll give examples now.

Martha, age 37, primarily agreeable: She likes to listen to problems, and is always there for a shoulder to cry on. She gives thoughtful gifts for Christmas, and is considerate to others. However, she has a touch of unconscientious: never on time for her job, and likes to procrastinate on cleaning the house and little things like getting her oil changed. Let’s give her a bit of open-mindedness as well. She loves artwork, and likes to buy the newest thing that comes on the market--plus, she likes to needle point and scrapbook. Hmm, but say Martha despises politics, with a passion. Anytime someone tries bringing up the subject--she doesn’t want to hear it. She will stick to her personal views no matter how old fashioned they are. You would say she was a bit close-minded about the whole thing wouldn’t you?

I gave her four groups, and I could have added more. As I illustrated, everyone has different facets of their personality and knowing which ones to realistically add makes all the difference. Even though I composed Martha in five minutes…she has more depth already than the average SUE.



Let’s do it again--and this time, lets add in background.

Greg has a wealthy family. Daddy and Mommy give Greg anything he wants. Greg does not clean or cook for himself, and leaves his belongings strewn all over the place. He has a narrow-minded view of the world obviously, seen only through his rich kid perspective. He’s whiny and selfish, caring only for what he wants and no one else. He has no siblings that compete for his parents attention, and his friends are about as shallow as he is. No moral structure--and no ambition.

However, not everyone is that shallow, nor only influenced by their environment. People have inherent traits as well, ones passed from parents onto children.

Let’s give our little buttercup a inherent fear of public speaking. In fact, he wets his pants if he sees a podium. This causes a little problem between Daddy and Greg, since Daddy wants Greg to give a huge speech. Mommy can’t do it, because Mommy will wet her pants as well. ( Now you know where he got it from!) Daddy is counting on Greg not to let him down. So, how does Greg deal with this stress? Does he obsess over it? Will he cry like a girl? He certainly is not a extrovert in this case, and leans more toward introverted. He may want to talk to someone about this horrifying thing--but his friends are indifferent and laugh at him. This causes Greg to wonder who his friends really are--and may experience a bit of awakening here. Will he persevere and overcome this obstacle? Will he have the fortitude and courage to face his fears?


Instead of public speaking, let’s add some tragedy. Mom dies. Greg’s idyllic world is shattered, finding no shoulders to cry upon except maybe the maids. Daddy is sullen and withdrawn, leaving Greg to fend for himself. Greg may suddenly look at things from an entirely different point of view. What is important in life? Should he reevaluate his goals? Say his mother died from cancer...would he have the ambition to put his Daddy’s money to good use? Will he suddenly become an advocate for cancer research? How would his father react? Would Greg and his father see eye to eye? What if his father remarries some evil blonde bimbo? How could she affect this situation? Could Greg endure the ridicule from this woman? Would he be strong enough to pursue his goals regardless of everyone’s opinion of him?



Final Words:

These are things to consider when comprising a character…everything works together. Background, traits, attitudes, appearance, etc. Learn how to manipulate them to your advantage, and you’ll make your OC complex and realistic without exerting that much effort.



Onto MS reform! We’ll take a horrid Mary SUE and make her a real girl…  

[Goddess_Nyko]

Reforming Mary:

Here we go…we’re going to take a full-blown MS and whip her into something plausible! This section will be lengthy--so be prepared!

Mary, Mary, quite contrary…

Let’s say as a reader, you’re skimming through the Harry Potter section. You want to read something different than your usual Harry smut or epic plotline…you want a vampire story.

Now, Ms. Rowling has not made any canon characters vampires…so this will have to of course--include an OC. You expect this and accept it--perusing to your hearts content through the huge stash of fiction for the key words vampire and Harry in the same sentence. You find a few promising ones, only to discover they are not what you wanted--so you continue browsing.

Finally you hit jack pot. A story detailing a “Defense of the Dark Arts” teacher as a vampire**. Woo! You think, this might be interesting!

So you begin reading, and find out the story takes place in Harry’s final year, and with a stunning female vampire as his new instructor. She is gorgeous of course--(most vampires are), and you see nothing wrong with it. She seems decent, however, when she’s introduced you spend most of the chapter reading about how luscious her ruby lips are and how everyone stares in awe of her beauty. Her name is Arianna (Air-EE-ah-na) Clandestine (heh.) and she seems to be about the best thing that happened to Hogwarts. You feel vaguely annoyed, but decide to stick with it. Perhaps since everyone seems under her spell…she’s really EVIL! That would be a twist, and just the one thing to make this story better.

However, instead of sneaking into Death Eater meetings or conspiring with he-who-must-not-be-named in secret, she’s trading barbs with an OOC Hermione, turning Draco into a fly, (the author must not like Draco.) and has more magic than all the teachers put together. Harry of course is smitten to the point of senseless goo, and no one finds it the least bit unnerving that Arianna bites him in the middle of class. New head mistress McGonagall sees nothing wrong with a little bloodletting, and besides, she’s busy being absent throughout most of the story. Hermione herself disappears for no reason, and Ron acts so much like a ten year old that you cringe every time he opens his mouth. Isn’t he supposed to be 17?

Your eyes are rolling in their sockets about now, and you almost click out when something stops you. The plot. Yes, there seems to be a plot suddenly! You wipe the tears away and hesitantly read on, only to find that Arianna was sent by Dumbledore, (um….okay? Readers of the HBP would know what I mean. ) to protect Harry in the final battle between Voldemort! However, since she and Harry have so much fake chemistry, she wants him as her new mate as well. Oh my! Decisions, decisions!

Everyone, (and I mean everyone…including the Whomping Willow) encourages Arianna with this difficult choice, saying Harry is better off as a vampire than dead by Voldemort’s hand.

By now your crying and want to fly away on your own broomstick, but you just can’t stop reading. Never mind the OC has a personality as deep as a mud puddle on flat concrete--it’s like the train wreak you can’t turn away from!

Finally, the end chapter! Voldemort has suddenly shown up for no reason and badly mandating that Harry give himself up. Arianna, of course, with raven locks whipping in the wind, bravely protects Harry, but Voldemort somehow, miraculously wounds him mortally. Arianna, in a fit of indignant rage--destroys Voldemort with one perfect, shining, magical shot, (that lights Arianna’s face in a flattering yet, stunning glow.) and then flies to the side of her fallen beloved. Some bad dialogue ensues, and then with everyone watching on--Arianna turns Harry into a vampire!

Is that the end? God you hope so! But no! Wait! There’s an epilogue!

Harry and Arianna then marry and move into their own magic castle somewhere living happily ever after--but Hermione is ‘still’ MIA...

Yes, that was amusing wasn’t it? No doubt Arianna will go in the SUE hall of fame somewhere, but let’s give her a face lift hmm?

Back to the drawing board:

Now, how the hell will we make Arianna and this plotline actually interesting and plausible? We certainly have our work cut out for us.



Here is what we are going to do.

Research.

You can’t just whip out a story with no knowledge or even semi-knowledge about the fandom or characters. It will come across half-assed and make canon Nazis and regular readers irritated. Don’t be lazy about this! A sign of a good author is his/her willingness to follow canon, or make an AU fic worthy of readers attention.


Unless you know the fandom inside and out…research all characters and details relevant to your story. Unless you warn of a OOC, you owe to your readers and YOURSELF to get personalities right. Use the groups I showed you for a better understanding of where they fit in. Example: Hermione is primarily conscientiousness with a little extrovert, open-mindedness, agreeableness, and with some neurotic traits to top it off. She is a complex character--this is why she’s so well liked or hated depending on the person. Once you have a feel for Hermione, she should be easier to write. Same with any character no matter how minor.

Once you have the characters situated, now it’s time to research the time period, storyline, and who is alive and dead at this point. We will label this fic AU (alternate universe) since we are playing with future events.

So, we will might read the last book again before writing for a better feel and knowledge of what goes on in Harry’s 6th year. To avoid spoilers here, I’ll be very vague…but certain people by the end of the book are either dead or doing complete 180’s in terms of behavior. Some motivations are still in the dark, and therefore, we must be careful on what we do with a few characters. However, as an author, you have a plan and idea of what you want to do--so that little detail is taken care of.

Now…our main problem…

Arianna Clandestine.

We will keep her name. Yep. I don’t care what Sunatics say, or those elitists about names. Seeing how hers pretty much fits all those other names in the Harry Potter world--it stays. Now that’s out of the way…


Arianna’s background, history. What made her the vamp she is now?

Let‘s bounce this idea around

Arianna lived in younger Dumbledore’s time period, say, around 100 years ago. We will put her in Ravenclaw and have her be an ordinary witch. She excels in potions…maybe decent in runes and astronomy, but other than that, she has normal O.W.L.’s and decent N.E.W.T.’s

Little details will be: loving the color green, an only child, likes the smell of rain, tulips are her favorite flower, despises flying on her broom, enjoys eating peppermints, and aspires to be a Auror just like her Daddy. And speaking of Mum and Pop, they’re a loving family, with plenty of communication and support for their daughter. Mother stays at home and perhaps makes special potions and charms for folks while Daddy fights the good fight. Wow, isn’t that just too-good-to-be-true? Let’s muck it up!

Daddy likes to hunt vampires gone bad…now we know from the past HP books, that not all vampires are evil. Little blips here or there signify that vampires may come in all varieties just like wizards. Not sure on the magic part. I mean, what if a wizard becomes a vampire? Remus kept his powers as a werewolf right? Hmm, we may have to give the vampires of this realm some distinction. Some bad, some decent; some with magic, others without. How about wizard vamps are the more feared variety…and the one Daddy likes to get down and dirty with.

Arianna aspires to be like her Father and follow in his footsteps, unsatisfied with her potion talent and wants something more exciting in life. Father discusses this seriously with his daughter over the next year or two; and then when she graduates from Hogwarts, Arianna begins training. I’m going out on a limb here on saying that new Auror’s apprentice themselves to an expert of the field they’re interested in…so it wouldn’t be too implausible for Arianna to run with her father on small hunts until she becomes better skilled.

Anyway, she goes along on her first hunt with her Father and his team. Nothing fancy, just a normal vamp nest, (non-wizard) maybe annoying the Muggle population somewhere. Everything is going to plan, stupefy charms are flying and all are staked nice and clean.

However, Arianna may be troubled on how messy this all is…maybe has second thoughts on pursuing this career. Yet, as she contemplates--a young ‘wizard’ vamp attacks her father out of nowhere! (Don’t you just love it when those things happen?)

She responds without thinking, shouting a charm and staking the vampire in the next moment. Her Father is grateful, but admonishes her behavior, (as most Fathers do.) calling her reckless and foolish. She accepts this criticism with a sullen attitude, but inwardly experiences elation and jittery excitement that she saved her father, proving her worth to the team.

Afterward, they burn the corpses and leave the nest--unaware that the young wizard vamp had a sire…a very angry, powerful sire that saw the whole thing…and vows revenge. (Cue dramatic music!)



The life-altering event:





Arianna and Father go home. All is well the first night. However, the second night…something happens. Powerful vamp attacks…killing both Arianna’s parents in cold blood, and then comes after Arianna. She wakes after hearing her mothers screams, and flees outside. Wizard vamp follows, stalking and toying with Arianna until he corners her in the woods. She is scared and angry, defying the vamp and fights him until she exhausts herself. Vamp is slightly impressed by Arianna’s little tantrum, and decides to turn her. (An eye for an eye…)

So he does. Yet, does he take her as a lover would? Or is this a more business ‘turn’ than pleasure? Hmmm. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. This is only the outline.

Arianna ‘wakes’ the next morning, screaming as the rising sun burns her skin, and takes shelter within a small alcove.

Vamp is nowhere to be found.

He just left her there to die--and she will never know his name, nor will she see him again.

Damn…that sucks… (No pun intended.)

Afterward:

Well, since there’s no cure for vampirism, Arianna is out of luck. However, the remaining members of her Father’s team try and help her out, teaching her how to control her hunger and budding powers. Wizard vamps are feared for a reason, and let’s just say their magic is more inherent than a wizards. They need no wand to focus, but are unable to say, make magical objects, or apparate. They can fly as well, so Arianna’s broom days are over. We can go into more detail later…again, this is only outline.

Arianna feels bitter and lonely, realizing that those around her are fearful over what she might become. She is consumed with the need for revenge on the vamp who sired her, enough so, that she leaves everything and tries to find him.

Say, thirty years later and unsuccessful in locating her enemy, Arianna comes back. She’s matured, aloof, cold, accepting what she is with graceful resignation. She still has nightmares about that night; she still carries guilt over what happened. She now hunts her own kind, taking almost gleeful passion in killing those that she associates with her maker. We can give her a little denial complex…that Arianna does not consider herself as one of ‘them”, and will seek and destroy every vampire that is in her territory.

This allows her to cross paths with other Aurors…and they have no idea what to make of her. Some are fearful of this wild vampire, others are intrigued. They report back to their headquarters about this strange creature, and those left from her Father’s team recognize the description. Let’s have Dumbledore hanging around the ministry of magic. (Was he an Auror? I can’t find anything that says either way.) He hears about Arianna and wants to meet her.

Some details here, or keep this vague. What happens when Dumbeldore and Arianna meet can be played with later.

Personality traits as a whole with Arianna:

Since she still desires revenge…and this is considered an obsession. Her thoughts shifted to the deed often when she was first made, but perhaps now only a few times. She found another way to vent her anger. Killing every vampire good or bad within her territory. She is consumed with hatred for her kind--using them as a scapegoat for her rage.

As a vampire, she may fight with her need for blood, consuming animals until realizing this makes her weak. To combat this dilemma, she will only take evil muggles, evil wizards, or even suicidal folks--therefore rationalizing it as a good deed. She considers herself not one of…THEM, and denies it to the point she actually believes the delusion.

She is aloof, but a calm, rational thinker. Slow to anger, patient with Harry and the rest of her class. She is charismatic when she wants to be, but hardly uses her vampire whims on anyone. She views this as ‘cheating’ and will attempt hunts without mesmerizing her prey. She’s straightforward in telling others what she thinks--almost blunt to a fault. This boldness gets her into trouble more often than not, but she really doesn’t care. She tells it like it is regardless.

Before, she always wrinkled her nose at the Ministry of Magic, thinking them fools, ( for a variety of reasons) but has now decided to set aside her qualms and take on the teaching position as a favor to McGonagall and Dumbledore. She may feel uneasy with the students, unsure how they will perceive her. Will they find out what she is? What will they say? These thoughts make her keep the class at arms length, and her emotional walls may be hard to crack. Yet, when she overhears Harry talking with his friends and his desire for revenge--she may find a kindred spirit in Harry, and realize that her own selfish pursuits are more damaging than she knew…

Appearance:

Notice that I didn’t focus on appearance. Unless it plays a factor in your OC’s personality, it really is not that important. Yes, we will keep Arianna’s hair long and dark, mildly attractive until she becomes a vampire. Then we’ll have her the pale beauty that we associate with vamps…but have her a little prim as well when in school, teaching. High neck dresses, no makeup, and her hair in a bun. Yes, when she’s at her estate/home/whatever…she lets her hair down, and wears some sensual clothes when she hunts, but this is not the focus. Only small details, but we won’t dwell on them too much. Scatter them about if we want to reinstate how long her hair is, or have an CC observe her. It’s all right to switch perspective in a new chapter, or have it separated by ***. As long as we keep her flowing locks and luscious lips down to a minimum, we won’t screech to a halt in our prose flow.

Continuing onward…

Anyway, let’s skip onto the present (or future in this case--since we are still on the Half Blood Prince.) and have Arianna living alone and maintaining her territory nicely. She and the Aurors have an understanding, but the only one she trusts is Dumbledore.

Now, the HBP left us with a dire situation in the Wizarding world (Details will be vague here to prevent spoilers.) and Harry is as pissy as ever. (With good reason.) We need to have a good grasp of canon here…of the characters personalities and how they respond to one another. Harry is at the Dursleys, vowing not to return to school. So how would we get him and Arianna to meet?

Well, we can have Voldemort attack the Dursleys despite the protection surrounded it. Perhaps he found a way through? (Man that would be fun…kill, kill, kill…ahem…sorry.) or perhaps Ms. McGonagall can persuade Harry to come back somehow. Maybe Harry’s friends goad him into coming back--either way, he’s coming back to Hogwarts!



First Meeting, and Events:

Perhaps in the recent past, Dumbledore approached Arianna about the teaching position. She refused then, thinking she has no place around students. Albus respected her wishes, but conveyed that she “keep it in mind.”

Now that things are a bit grim in the seventh year, and certain events have passed--McGonagall knows about Arianna and desires to have someone in school that can defend the students and watch over the boy-who-lived constantly. She may not like the fact Arianna is a vamp--but they had no problems with Remus…so it’s plausible they would accept Arianna. So Minerva asks again, and since the events of HBP are well-known to Arianna, she finally agrees.

You can have Harry and Arianna meet several ways--in the classroom, hallway, outside, etc. The main thing is that we keep it real. OC and CC must interact as they would if Rowling herself was writing it. Have their relationship complex, realistic, and full of angst like normal relationships are. Things like: would he find out she’s a vamp early, or later? What event would trigger such a reveal? How does their love develop? Is it tender, possessive?

Other factors: How do the other teachers view Arianna? With suspicion? I would think so…Vampires probably aren’t as welcome as Werewolves. Perhaps we can have Hagrid constantly asking her questions, following her around with curiosity. Would the Death Eaters know of her presence and real reason she’s there? Would Voldemort try and coerce her to his cause? What would she say to him? How would this meeting come about?

Speaking of which--go ahead and have as many subplots along with the main. Get a Quidditch match in there. Have Ron and Hermione break up and get back together--more than once. Have Ginny bouncing around and vying for Harry’s attentions. Maybe the house elves run amuck. Whatever we end up doing--Harry must do what he does best--act confused and conflicted--yet, resilient and always with that wry sense of humor.

Finally, Arianna does see Harry’s desire for revenge as obsessive as her own--this makes her realize how wasteful her life has been pursuing the past. And perhaps she tries to give Harry this advice…but, does he listen?

During this time--where are Voldemort and his happy entourage? We need to make sure we set them in motion for the final confrontation. What about character motivations left hanging in the HBP? This would be the time to check in on them, and see what side they might choose. We need to piece this together like an elaborate puzzle--keeping our readers constantly guessing and coming back for each chapter.

Shall we include sex? Sure. But not right away. Shall we not bother with sex? Sure, but what’s a good vamp story without a little blood and skin?

The ending:

Now, the final battle begins…

We’ll make it climatic, suspenseful and downright nasty. People die, magic is flying all around, and Arianna gets into it with Lord Voldemort himself.

We’ll have him kick her a**.

Kick it all over the place. We’ll show he’s no pushover and that Arianna is not invincible. Make her bleed, get a good shot in--then make her bleed again. We’ll make her wish she never picked a fight with the dark wizard in the first place. She will be humbled and show that she can get her hands dirty. We’ll have this wild vamp all teeth and fangs, her own inherent magic coursing through her, sparking around all over the place--likewise we’ll have Voldemort menacing, intimidating, and downright pissed off. His Death Eaters are watching on…probably cheering and encouraging the fight, making little zaps with their wands at Arianna to keep her on her toes.

We’ll have Harry intervene of course…perhaps Arianna kept him away somehow in order to protect him. (Say, locked him in the dungeon…lol. ) And then let Harry and his arch nemesis wail on each other as they were meant too. Curses, spells, magic flying everywhere!

Of course, someone has to die, but let’s have Harry and Voldmort deal mortal blows at the same time. Voldemort dies first, (good riddance…jerk.) but we’ll have Harry linger a bit.

Now, let’s have Harry prior to this--tell Arianna NOT to turn him. If he’s going to die--let him die. He’d rather have it that way than spend eternity as a monster. Arianna has a tough decision to make…should she let him die? Or should she save him for her selfish love? What will she choose?

Let’s have her turn him.

That decision will have consequences of course, and this is where we may pop in the epilogue. Are Harry and Arianna strolling happily under the full moon? No, I think we’ll have Arianna alone again after a resentful Harry leaves her. He blames and is angry over what she did; still loves her, but needs to find his own path in life. We can have her thinking about him--maybe wondering where he is. Or perhaps we’ll see out of Harry’s eyes--what he’s feeling and experiencing . Either way, the ending will be bittersweet.



There now…that was just the outline. A rough sketch so-to-speak. Just think when we got into the detail!

This is how you make a MS real. It’s a lot of work, but it pays off in the long run!



Now we would hammer out the details, change some things if we wanted, and start writing!  

[Goddess_Nyko]

Onto final word and links…

(**Disclaimer: I am unaware of any story on AFF or FF.net that may have a similar plotline to this example I’m using. I actually intended to have a story like this, but became interested in other fandoms. However, even though I use it here for strictly illustrative purposes, please do not steal my plot for your own. Thank you. )


Final Words, Semi-rant…

I wrote this guide for a reason. It was purely selfish reasons at first.

I don’t like being told what to do.

And certainly not by those I consider my peers; people who are not published authors or anyone really worth obeying. After a troll attacked my story, I posted to a group just to see if my OC would pass the inspection. I was a bit naïve here, since I thought the definition of MS was the same as what I described in this guide. However, they told me that I could not have my OC do this, this, or this--otherwise he was a SUE. I took the limitus test and found that all because my OC had abilities, sibling of a canon character, and screwed a canon character--he was pretty much an MS.

This pissed me off, and I did some things that I shouldn’t have. I wanted to test my theory about those LJ groups…that they would not read the story themselves to determine if the main OC was a MS; that as long as it was posted as a MS--therefore it was an MS regardless how well written it was. Now some folks after I revealed what I had done, claimed they read my work and still determined my OC was an MS. However, I think by that time, everyone was a little biased and opinions unreliable. I have the whole debacle on my LJ, in my memory section under “to Fandomwank and clairvoyantwank.” I won’t give links here, since the incident is over now, and I learned plenty.

The OC is the black sheep of the fandom world. Many young authors and inexperienced writers have either purposely and unintentionally made OC’s shallow and unpleasant to read. And human nature tends to group unpleasant things together and either make fun of them, or assume anything associated with the unpleasantness is the same as the rest. Therefore, it’s now almost to the point where OC=MS…and that’s bullshit.

There are plenty of well-written OC’s out there that get away with every stereotype an MS has. I complied a list of what I found, and I encourage all who want a decent story--and an example of how an OC should be…to start reading.

I only have a few fandoms up, and that isn’t including all characters within each fandom. I will add more as I find them.

Anyone who would like to include their story…email me and I will take a look at it. It must be well-written and gathered a decent amount of attention from fellow readers. However, new stories or a few who haven’t received the attention they deserve, can still give me a buzz and I’ll take a gander. All those who know stories that I haven’t listed--no mater what fandom--can please email me the link.

Email: maiafay376@comcast.net





MS improvement groups:

fan_characters: http://community.livejournal.com/fan_characters/profile

oc_analysis: Beware of this one however, they will nitpick based on the limitus test. http://community.livejournal.com/oc_analysis/profile

Awesome OC stories…additions added constantly. Email me if you have one or find one please!

Lord of the Rings:

Legolas, Aragorn:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1759363/1/ “Love is Fallacy” by Nienna Silmarwen

http://www.ofelvesandmen.com/StoriesbyAuthor/_Series_Fictional/Elfscribe_Series_MelethrynLegolas.htm by Elfscribe

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1187963/1/ “Book III The Mystery of Love” by tainted elf

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2205420/16/ “The Dunedain Princess” by Scarlett Witch

http://lotr.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=31718 “The King’s Vineyard” by Mary A.

http://lotr.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544171974 “Rider of the Mark” by ZeeDrippyVessel

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3066126/1/ “Lim Aear” by silent-niobe

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2740593/1/ “Per Sempre for Always” by Evangeline-the-angel

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/662880/1/ “Blood-red rose for Legolas” by ElveNDestiNy

Grima:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1353155/2/ “The allure of the dark angel” by White raven

RPS:

http://lotr.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600080152 “Anything’s possible” by Tao



Anime: Need help with this section!



http://anime.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=29477 (Gravitation) “Kumagoro's New Shiny” by Shuukitty







Harry Potter:

Harry:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2920229/1/ Eclipse of the Sky by firefawn

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2985892/2/ Dirge of Twilight by NamelessHeretic

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2525595/2/ Silent Anguish by -Morbid.Marionette-

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2869773/1/ The Machine by goofball44306

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2957373/1/ Grey Maiden III Servant of Darkness by Chris Widger

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2463017/1/ The Demon Within by Thor Nairda

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2964508/1/ Harry Potter and the Holy Staff of Lyadrin by Aprodites'Pleasure

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2508076/1/ The Other side of Hell by Master Slytherin

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2855278/2/ Rise of a Dark King by Naga’s Shadow

Remus:

http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=12504 Outcasts by buttercup

Surprise!

http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=11132 Bound in Leather by ladydeathfaerie

Various:

http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=5996 “Weft of Power, Warp of blood: A Tapestry of Desire” by CMW

Advent Children: need more!

http://bishonenworks.com/fiction_new/story_chapters/devilsown1.php “The Devil’s Own” by PL Nunn

Movies:

House of a Thousand Corpses:

http://movies.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544212694 “For all the Wrong Reasons” by draqstar

Doctor Who:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2925568/1/ "Torn" by bookend  

[Smoozle]

Um... Was I meant to read this?

I didn't sorry...  

[chrystalclear]

OH MY GOSH. *coughs* 'Scuse me.

Thanks so much for this! (Yes, I realize that you didn't write it.) This will help me develop my OCs a little more than she already is. The little details and the backgrounds that made them who they are.

THANK YOU.  

[Goddess_Nyko]

Your welcome. And just to let anyone know that is reading this that most of the guides I post won't be of my own writing. I actually suck at my own guides.

PM me if there's anything on Adultfanfiction you want me to get. (Seeing how it's 18+)

Also, if there are any add friend whores out there I willing to add you.  

[Yavie Feels Pretty]

Ah, if only the world followed these guidelines...

I've found almost every OC/Mary Sue story I've stumbled on to be distasteful and downright insulting. This should clear things up for people. (And for God's sakes, stop the rampaging hordes of Legolas' and Aragorn's wives! gonk As a Lord of the Rings buff, I can feel a part of my soul die every time I so much as read the summary of one of these stories.)

 

[Goddess_Nyko]

Wow. I prefer yoai pairing with lord of the rings.  

[Goddess_Nyko]

I'm thinking about changing the poll. Yeah I'm going to.