Read please. (Need help)

[Dark_rose_fighter]

By K.M.



~Broken and Damned~

Some say I'm broken

Others say I'm damned

I know that I could do it

If you'd only say I can

When people put me down

but rais my spirits first

It hits me harder then it would

If you had told me that I'm cursed

Please don't try to fix me

with those loving hands

I now that Im not worth it

because I'm broken and I'm damned.


So, tell me what you think. be honest, I can take it. If you think it sucked then say so.  

[x_Chromatic Zelda_x]

It's a good idea, just build like hell off of it!

It's a great beginning, it just needs one hell of a workout.  

[Dark_rose_fighter]

I have about two more pages of it, but they need a little bit of editing. But thank you for your advise!  

[King_of_Hearts528]

I agree with demented pandora. It does have a great beginning and Its actually a good read. I am not too fond of poems that rhyme because it normally obscures the essence that is a poem, but you did very well. My hat is off to you. mrgreen