please help!!!!

[Apocolys]

i need support in telling my family that im pagan. I told my real girlfriend that im pagan and she didnt take it well. She said that i was going to rot in hell and that its devil worship and all that jazz. now im discouraged and hoping that my Mother and step Father will take it well. My Grandomother is a really religious Cristian. Its hard for me to even think about telling her. Some one give me some advice or stories.  

[Jezehbelle]

Well, how long have you been pagan?

It seems like a silly question, but be honest here. If it's less than a year, than I would stave off telling them for a while. If it's more than that, then it depends on you.

Timing is important. One on one time with a person, where you want them to be calm would work better -- take steps to make it as pleasant a conversation as possible.

But that's just me. I've not told my parents yet, because there always seems to be a crisis. Or someone's going on a mission trip. D:  

[Starlock]

I second Jezehbelle's question: how long have you self-identified as Pagan? How comfortable and confident are you with this path? If you're not relatively solid in your beliefs and identity it will not be easy to explain what you are to others. It will also be harder if you do not understand the beliefs of those other than yourself. The more you can relate to the person you want to understand, the better a talk like that will go. For example, if the person you know is Christian, you might make a comparisson between the sacrifice of Jesus and the sacrifice of the Harvest Deities each year. How you go about touching on the topic is critical.  

[Apocolys]

i've been a pagan for about a year now....  

[Starlock]

A year can be a good long time for some, not enough time for others. You'll be the best judge of how sound you feel in your path. Unlike some of the more mainstream faiths, minorities like Neopagans have to be able to stand up against some more rigourous scrutiny both by family and by the public. You have to either know how to explain your beliefs in a way that is disarming to the average people or feel confident that you could do that in most sittuations. You'd be hard pressed to win on everyone; people are often slow to change their ideas about a particular topic, moreso if they tend to be rigid religiously.

A good indication of how open someone might be to telling them is how cultured and explorative they are. Do you parents engage in your local community by going to, say, local theater, activist groups, or attending lectures at a nearby college? Those who seek new experiences through going places or maybe by reading a lot of books are usually the ones who are more open-minded to diversity. Not always, but it is a pretty good indicator. One really huge tip-off is if they participate in interfaith initiatives; there are various groups like that around the country that aim to create dialogues between religious faiths.  

[Apocolys]

my mom is making me go to chuch. it sucks I really hope jupiter and Juno will forgive me....  

[Jezehbelle]

edelric109388

it sucks I really hope jupiter and Juno will forgive me....

What?

She's trying to share her religion with you, and when you come out and tell her about yours, you'll be doing the same thing. Whether you become a Christian or not is up to you and not her.  

[born2rock16]

I agree, how comfortable you are with your religious choice is crucial. Same with timing.

I have just recently decided and said to myself that I am pagan, I feel comfortable with it when I'm alone, or with others that I can share anything with. I told one of my closest cousins my choice, and she was fine with it, she thought it was interesting.
When I was agnostic, before I found out about paganism, and that it's my right path, I said something about being agnostic to my Gramps, and he freaked. He was raised strict Catholic, and still carries strong beliefs. I wouldn't dare tell my Gramps, he's not open enough. Maybe in a few years I'll tell him.
Same with my Mom. My Grams I would tell though, she knows I have interest in paganism, she seems fine with it.

The point I'm making, I'm not comfortable yet, so I'm not ready to talk to them about it, I haven't figured it all out for myself yet. You are the best judge of how ready you are.

Timing is different with how close you are to whom as well, just always remember that you can come here and feel comfortable and at ease. Maybe confide in a best friend, someone there through think and thin, that will always support you, that is the key, everyone needs someone to solidly support them.

I also must agree with Jezehbelle, your Mom might be open to it. And if your family is judgmental at first that will probably change, they will become more open as the learn more about your choice. That's what I was told by The Bookwyrm.

Hope that helped. Well, you can always talk if you need to, I'll listen.

~Blessed Be~
-Verni  

[Apocolys]

I've decided when ill tell her. but i might tell my gramps first, considering that hes buddist and would understand how hard it is to tell. But anywas i might tell her after the holiday called 'Easter.' (i refuse to call it Easter.) and i also have reason to celebrate on Christmas day! its Dionysus' brithday! YAYNESS!  

[Jezehbelle]

I'm a little confused, and I'm hoping I don't come off as rude or whathaveyou but...

Why not call it Easter?

It sounds like, and this is just me here, you have some issues with your family's religion. A little more than usual anyways... I understand not being on the same religious page as everyone else in the family, but the "hope Juno and Jupiter can forgive me for going to church", "don't call it easter" and "reason for Christmas", it kinda seems like -- and I'm not sure this is even the right wording for this -- you're trying to break as far away from Christianity as you can...  

[Ayla Skye]

I agree with Jezehbelle. There is nothing wrong with going to church, calling the christian holidays by the names they are given or ever celebrating them. I have been pagan for nearly 10 years and I still celebrate Christmas and Easter. I celebrate them because my family does and it is a time I can spend with them and acknowledge their beliefs. I also celebrate in my own way. I look at Easter as a way I can celebrate Spring and still share it with my christian family. Christmas is a good way to share Yule with your family and if you research both holidays you will find a lot of the traditions are deeply rooted in pagan beliefs.

Take Easter for example what do eggs and rabbits have to do with the death and resurection of Jesus Christ. The rabbits and eggs, even the egg hunts come from pagan tradtitions celebrating spring and fertility. Yule is another good example. Evergreen aka christmas trees are a sacred plant of Yule because it stays green when everything else is dead. It servers as a reminder that spring will come again.

As for church, I go by choice. Granted the church I go to is a Unitarian Universalist church which accepts and honors all religions. One of the first sermons I went to was about Samhain. Church can also be a place where you can silently worship your own gods while still respecting your mother's beliefs. If you don't respect her belief and she gets that impression, I wouldn't expect her to take the news well or to respect your beliefs. It has to go both ways. I think you should do a little more soul searching before telling your mother. You need to be comfortable not only in your own beliefs but comfortable with the fact that she probably isn't going to join you in those beliefs. You also need to be comfortable with the fact that you can accept and tolerate dealing with both, which may mean finding a way to intrograte them to a point where she will understand what you are telling her.

Just my opinion, I'm not trying to lecture you but give you some advice so this talk will go the way you want it to.  

[Guardian Matt]

Hey its up to you what your religion is.They have to deal with it,but you might want to take alittle more time telling the hevily christian pple,talk to them about freedom of religion before you tell them your pagan,and as far as church goes,just think of it in a pagan way.If they say god you can think god AND godess,just put it in pagan tirms for yourself.I had to do that for awhile.Some of my friends((before I told them))called pagan devil worshiping but I helped them understand its not and then I told them Im pagan.Try it that way.Tell me if it helps! 3nodding  

[Faith-The1Slayer]

Apocolys

i need support in telling my family that im pagan. I told my real girlfriend that im pagan and she didnt take it well. She said that i was going to rot in hell and that its devil worship and all that jazz. now im discouraged and hoping that my Mother and step Father will take it well. My Grandomother is a really religious Cristian. Its hard for me to even think about telling her. Some one give me some advice or stories.

my parents r already pagan, but i have lost many good friends due to this fact. my advice to u is that if they can't handle it then it's their problem, most parents want their kids to be honest, and keeping this from them is not being honest. if u don't want to tell them then pm me and i can give u all info on how to keep it a secret but still practice in their, and your, home