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please read, then criticize or just comment 3nodding
It Must Be Raining
*a song*
It must be raining
I hear the thunder wailing
It must be raining
I feel the cloud's tears dripping
Why must you be so far away
I do not want it to rain
Some time ago I heard a girl cry out
Words she had been hiding
They shunned her but even so
In the rain she has been surviving
Why must you be so far away
I do not want it to rain
I cannot help but helplessly hear
The rain's message rattling
In my miserable heart the
Sound is horribly grating
Why must you be so far away
I do not want it to rain
Lights and Shadows
We sat on a hill
Watching the sun come down
From blue to orange to pink to red.
Then it was black around us.
Our black faces
With the white eyes,
We kept them locked to the West
On the city whence we came
and we witnessed
The darkness bringing out the lights.
Late now, time to go
Back to the yellow center of our lives.
Towards the middle
The stars twinkled goodbye as they joined the night.
And we, not as black
And not with eyes as white
Lost view of the hill now
Behind a tenement.
While we parted
We had no words to say.
We just watched
The lights casting shadows at our feet.
At the Chelsea - First Version
*sorry, its very long but its one of my favorites*
She's warm.
And I'm so ******** cold, I'm freezing.
I need her.
She says she's available for fifty.
And after that, I suppose, she says
I can go lay down in her warmth
of a thousand burning fires
Fueled by profession and wooden desire.
They come all the way from Siberia, she says
and they last a long time.
She seems to take forever
to take off all her coats
I count them by names
As they fall off her teasing bodice.
First is Dignity.
Second is Truth.
The third is called Identity.
Last she shed are her receptors
and what is left is Illusion
I can't quite see her with my eyes
Perhaps it is too dark?
Perhaps I am so green?
Perhaps she's so voluptuously thin?
Well, I have no time to think
Here she comes, her hands as quick as a cold
And I catch her disease instantly
and there's her fire
There're no Siberian wood!
It's just the two of us burning madly
Our bodies plastered with lust
The source of an electric fire.
Inside her (or is she inside me?)
Running away from, running away to
I cannot say
But I am moving, and fast
With a breadth of lingering presence by my side
Whispering desperations to take it away
And I realize it is her
I say, Where?
She motions to a spiraling delight
and I obey.
We cruise through winding paths;
the bed creaks every time
and the happy mood I was in
starts to decay.
Stop, I say, Where are we going?
She says, We have to keep going
so I can be whole.
Well, I'm out of breath, let's stop for a while
Besides, I didn't come here to make you whole
Aren't you whole already?
The walls of the maze squeeze
and I can see rivers coursing in the bricks
Fiery streams bursting with flames
And Siberian wood appearing
Authentic and hot to the touch
bathing me with heat.
She sheds a final coat and is bare.
Please, she says, there's no time for stops
Let me hear your pledge.
I know you want to.
I love you.
That coat was Necessity.
This makes my senses catapult back into my head
and I back away
summoning a downpour of icy rain
Intense numbness, far away from her.
What? Where's the electric fire?
Where's your badge? Qualification?
Are you trying to trap me in this hell?
You have a duty, specifically
to be paid fifty and come to Room 18
Not to seduce me into fidelity.
So I stab her with a cool, sharp icicle
and all her fires go out
the door with my fifty dollars.
At the Chelsea - Second Version
*a short summation of the first version*
Out of the dusk
Into the forbidden pleasurable night
Thick with sin and
Glued-together hearts
They drift noiselessly from the
Innocence of daylight
To slip into their
other pair of shoes
Which they placed at the bedside
the night before
After they performed what they must
to survive and to serve
the society they live in
the society they're caged in
Mercilessly and eternally
to be burdened by their own places and choices
That force them to
Carve out their insides
and store them in brittle jars
While their shells gleam artificially
Praised and admired secretly
By those who know
Nothing of the pain
They feel everyday
When the sun sets, and each of them
are obliged to say:
"Please forgive me, God."
Julia
*i was going through my no-punctuation phase*
She cooks all day and she complains
About the stress it brought
Give them away to please the neighbors
And satisfy her love-thirst heart
Wish I could help her in some way
But she won't give in to simplicity
Believes that someday she'd be right
And stumbles through her sea-deep doubt
She's coming down, she's had it now
Rips her anger on the smallest things
Brings me down and she locks me up
In the hellfire of her life
Contructs my master plan, no fun allowed
It's looking ******** familiar
She's something else
She thought to start on something
Complicated the first time she tried
Hold on to the railing although it's slow
It's guaranteed to get you to the top
Failure
cry
I shot for the moon
And landed in a black hole
It sucked in my dreams
And cost me my hope
Now I walk around
Empty-handed, empty-headed
Stripped of knowledge
Lacking passion
You should avoid me
I'm a pothole in your road to success
Parasitic tumor growing on your will
You think you could take back my person
Selfless fool, can't you see
Time passed by and gave me an armor of apathy
Strong enough to repel your concerns for me
Don't waste your time stabbing me with sympathy
Your sword's getting rusty
You should just ******** off and let me be
Cooked
*my absolute favorite!*
I have my sanity in a cup.
I hold my consciousness in a bowl.
I pick my wishes up with a fork.
I slice my dreams up with a knife.
I stir emotions with a whisk.
I filter thoughts through a sifter.
I mix my values with a spoon.
I grease my soul with a stick of fat.
And to this confessional recipe
RELUCTANTLY
My love
I add.
I roll my voice into a ball.
I drown my faith in a pool of oil.
I fry my trust in a greedy pan.
I let my confidence shrink in the heat.
I lift this snack up with trembling hands.
I drop it on a plate to cool.
I ruin my hard work with a tear.
I offer this delicate treat to you.
And I watch your face criticize.
You commit the robbery of my life.
Now with my empty shell I see
You reach for the sugar bowl.
Monday Will Never Be the Same
*title taken from Hüsker Dü song*
Mother
I don't think Monday
Will ever be the same
again
It was your scream
and the shuffling of feet
Running away
From the night's dreamy stance
and we all woke up
in Reality
Out on the street
Out in the night's
Newly-lit fire
With our eyes wide open
Almost gaping at the sight
We flew to heaven
Temporary bliss in my
panic
Eternal paradise in your
death
And a salty snapshot
came to me
Capturing next week without You
And now, Mother
Monday will never be the same
Home
*homelessness, sad *
Home
Under the lights
Under the stars
Under nothing
I'm home
Live with darkness
Live with the cold
Live with no hope
It's home
There are no walls
There is no roof
There is no door
My home
Is far away
Is a daydream
Is in heaven
And I'm in Hell
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