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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 3:25 am
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 7:08 am
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Desdemona Legardored Crew
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 7:46 pm
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Thus far people have added:
Absolute Destiny has a summer home in Mr. Pilkington's groin.
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Pilk.
He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Mr. Pilkington's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
Pilk invented the internet. All of it.
Mr. Pilkington lies all the time. Even when the truth serves better, Pilk will lie anyway.
Think different, think Mr.Pilkington
Aquaman owns a pair of Pilkington Raptor pajamas.
Whenever Mr. Pilkington masturbates, people get hurt.
Pilk can kill two stones with one bird.
I once saw him eat a whole live chicken.
He plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.
Mr. Pilkington would put on a white tie and tails and would walk his cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra Addy, and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes Pilk had to shoot the maid.
He once finished "The Song that Never Ends".
He knows the last digit in pi.... Pilk claims is between 0 and 9.
Mr. Pilkington can speak Braille.
Mr. Pilkington invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Koop invented pink.
Pilk date raped David Bowie
The Mr.Pilkington look
The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Mr. Pilkington, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.
He breastfeeds John Madden!
The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Mr. Pilkington didn't kill you in your sleep.
Pilk has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.
Mr. Pilkington taught his son how to drive by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Pilk said "it would have happened sometime."
He framed Roger Rabbit.
Pilk always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of live knuffels and a sledgehammer.
There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Mr. Pilkington. ******** you team.
The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Mr. Pilkington was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
Mr. Pilkington can rename, delete, or even "send to email" the Recycling Bin.
He knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).
Mr. Pilkington's clothes are made out of the skins of fallen carebears.
He once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching the Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, & the game beat itself out of fear.
Mr. Pilkington once met Kitsuner on the street. Pilk into laughter, Shouta burst into tears, and every passing car burst into flames.
He defied MC Hammer and touched it.
Mr. Pilkington's breakfast consist of frosted kiddie meats and a coffee pot full of blood.
He gave a hand-job to a manta ray.
You cant stop Mr.Pilkington
Mr. Pilkington like to keep bawls in his mouth XD
We once had a bachelor party for Mr. Pilkington. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Mr. Pilkington can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Pilk was originally cast as Aragorn in Lord of the Rings. He was fired for eating the Hobbits between takes and making Orlando Bloom his b***h.
He'll eat a homeless person if you dare him.
To attain inner peace, Pilk eats Buddhists.
The popular videogame "Doom 3" is based loosely around the time David Violence borrowed two bucks from Pilk and forgot to pay him back.
They used Pilk's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee Stadium.
He can predict the shuffle on his Omni-Fi.
Endless possibilities with Mr. Pilkington
Mr. Pilkington ate the first dinosaur ever created. Gaou! Gaou!
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Mr. Pilkington during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
He once ate the bible while water skiing.
Mr. Pilkington can strangle you with a cordless Mouse and/or keyboard.
Every time you masturbate, Mr. Pilkington makes another GOD DAMNED Yatta sequel.
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 8:33 am
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