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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 7:36 am
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A girl sat in the moonlight, On a clear-sky night. As she sat she looked straight up and was dazzled by the moon, Washed away in thoughts that her flame of life would die out soon. "This flame of life that burns in me, I will not let it out. This thing that they call death, I wonder, what is it all about?" "All night, the moon will shine on me, until it's job is done. Then promptly it will be pushed back down by the waking sun." "The moon will not be gone, just in another place. Is my flame of life like this? Or does it vanish without a trace?" "I will conclude on this clear night, that death is not to blame. For now I will be as the moon, and light my Crescent Flame."
Criticize me! Really, what do you think? Be honest. >w<
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:30 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:41 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:58 pm
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greenrider_calidar It was sort of hard to get into the rhythm, since after the first two lines you sorta bunched it together. After the first two, I would have split the lines in two to make it easier to read. Example: As she sat, she looked straight up And was dazzled by the moon; Washed away in thoughts That her flame of life would die out soon. But that's basically it, except I felt there were commas missing in the middle of some lines, and lots of people do it how you do. I really liked it. You just made me feel even more Blonde. I actually couldn't think of that. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:37 am
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Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:09 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:55 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 1:37 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 11:06 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:12 am
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