Black Rain

[Cherished Strawberries]

My poems are often very morbid, as I am not a happy girl. So, bearing this in mind, please give me your insights. Not very good in my opinion, but people always seemed determined to prove me wrong. Whatever.

Black Rain

A single drop of darkness
Dropping on the street.
Running on the pavement,
And slipping under feet.
Another drips beside it,
Followed by the rest.
A torrent of black rain
Cascades through air and earth.
It paints a picture on the ground,
A picture without mirth.
For black rain never brings good things,
The flowers never grow.
And if you're feeling sad,
Know that it's alright.
Black rain will always pass away;
At least, it has thus far.

The End

 

[Titan_of_Fire59]

I fail to see why you don't think this is good.

I love the poem...it is an expression of sadness and how it passes on eventually...I truly do love it.  

[Anye5]

There is nothing wrong with dark poetry. It is a very good poem and you can feel the message as you read. That is what makes a good poem and that is what makes a person a good poet. Do you have any other poems?  

[[_Jaws_]]

Conga...FURY!

This is an amazing poem; don't convince yourself it's not good, because it is.

Juno Reactor

 

[Cherished Strawberries]

It is now a proven fact: people are determined to prove me wrong. Thank you for thinking it's a good poem.

@Anye5: Yes, actually, I do have some other poems. One is called When the World Ceased to Be. That's in this guild. I have another, but it's in another guild...I think. I'll look for it.  

[Rutoh-Chan]

I love the feeling in the last line, where you wonder if everything will always be alright. I know sometimes it doesn't feel that way. You really caught onto a feeling that matches throughout the entire poem. I'm glad that everyone has proved you wrong. It is always encouraging to be proven wrong when you think that you are a bad writer.  

[Cherished Strawberries]

That's half the reason I say it. No one crticizes me. Ever. sweatdrop

Here's another one. It's the one I did in this guild first:

When the World Ceased to Be

When the world ceased to be,
It was no pretty thing.
I know because I saw it,
I heard the Doom's Day ring.

My daddy couldn't stop it;
In fact, they took him first.
My mommy only cried;
I think that made it worse.

All around were signs,
No one could ignore it.
All alone inside,
I just couldn't bear it.

With fire in the sky,
Raining down on all,
And tears in every eye,
Of we who saw them fall.

The water rose much higher
Than it had ever gone.
I prayed it'd stop the fires;
I was so very wrong.

When all the world was burning,
And everyone lost hope,
I knew the end was coming,
I knew I couldn't cope.

Without my loving daddy,
With mommy gone away,
I knew the world's destruction
Was some way to make us pay.

Somehow, somewhere, someone
Was mad at everyone.
To warrant so much pain,
I wondered what we'd done.

With my last dying breath,
I tried to say a prayer.
"Dear Jesus, help me to be
Not so very scared."

But all of life I know,
Was burned away that day.
Because I watched some of them
Come through heaven's gates.

When my turn had come,
I looked around inside.
But my mommy and my daddy
Were not here to reside.

I think back on that day,
And rememer my mom and dad;
What could they have done
To become so very bad?

The End

This one I did during art today:

Child of the Mooon

Sweet child, born in moonlight bright,
Be still within my arms.
Sing to me your soft, sad song
That is your memory.

When all is still and night has come,
I listen to your words.
I hold you close to ease the pain
That stems from days gone by.

And when the sun begins to rise,
You vanish in the light.
And dutifully, I wait for you
To come in darkness' wake.

Most of my poetry tells a story, and I've been feeling rather burdened these past few weeks. That's why it's always so sad.  

[Lord_Skyy]

I like all of your poems. I see a distinct characteristic that sets your poetry apart from others'. All of your poems end as originally intended. Speaking from experience, poetry tends to stray away from the writer's original intention as it is written. Your poetry, on the other hand, stays on course and concludes beautifully. I'm more of a rhyme and meter person, but I like to emphasize the flow of things.

My favourite was Child of the Moon.

I like sad poetry. biggrin