JOKES!!! We need some morbid ones...

[Snows Wyntre]

Sorry to the mods if this need be moved, if it does, please do so, or delete this and tell me where to put it so that I may do so...

We need some goth, dark, or generally otherwise morbid jokes, please!!!!!?

Here are some I have found:

Wayne Hussey dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates, he meets up with Gabriel who gives him the grand tour of heaven. While touring he sees many familiar faces including Jimi Hendrix, Ian Curtis ,Mary Shelly, and of course Nick Fiend kind of shows up once in a while... And then he sees Andrew Eldritch Sitting on a HUUUGE throne...Wayne Says to Gabriel "I didn't know Andrew was dead !"Gabriel replies, "Oh, that's God (tm) He only thinks he's Andrew"



How does Andrew Eldritch screw in a lightbulb?
He holds it into the socket and waits for the world to revolve round him.



How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, one to change it and two to talk about Lord Byron's Grand Tour and creative uses of laudinum in a metaphysical environment.



How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just embrace the darkness.



How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb? None...they just talk about how good the old one was.



What's black and purple and lies in the gutter ?
A dead goth.

All courtesy of: http://shadowclad.com/jokes.htm  

[Rellik San]

Heres one in incredibly poor taste.

Whats the difference between goth and heavy metal?
Heavy metal only has you kill yourself, goth wants your friends and family too.  

[-Resurrected Writer-]

The Eldritch ones actually made me chuckle a bit.  

[Disease of the Flesh]

How do you get a goth out of a tree?
Cut the rope!


What's black and knocks on the window?
A goth in a microwave.


How many casuals does it take to make a hamburger?
Who cares, just think of all the fun we could have putting them through
the mincer to find out!


How many "New Kids on the Block" does it take to paint a wall red?
Only one if you throw it hard enough.


How many fratboys does it take to wallpaper a room?
That depends on how thinly you slice them.


Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said, "You're in luck! I'm an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours." So Sam came back in four hours and the surgeon said, "I got done faster than I expected to. John is down at the local pub." Sam went to the pub and saw John throwing darts.

A few weeks later, Sam and John were out again, and John cut his leg off. Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the surgeon. The surgeon said, "Legs are a little tougher - come back in six hours." Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, "I finished early - John's down at the soccer field." Sam went to the soccer field and there was John, kicking goals.

A few weeks later, John had a terrible accident and cut his head off. Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon. The surgeon said, "Gee, heads are really tough. Come back in twelve hours." So Sam returned in twelve hours and the surgeon said, "I'm sorry, John died." Sam said, "I understand - heads are tough." The surgeon said, "Oh, no! The surgery went fine! John suffocated in that plastic bag!"


Why do you have to wrap duct tape around a gerbil?

So that it doesn't explode when you sodomize it.  

[Snows Wyntre]

Rellik San

Heres one in incredibly poor taste.

Whats the difference between goth and heavy metal?
Heavy metal only has you kill yourself, goth wants your friends and family too.

Poor taste, for sure, but somehow, I found it humorous, still...  

[Snows Wyntre]

Thank you disease, but may I point out that I asked for morbid, not creepy....?  

[Disease of the Flesh]

Ashitaka-Mononokes_Love

Thank you disease, but may I point out that I asked for morbid, not creepy....?

They aren't creepy, they made me giggle. lol  

[Snows Wyntre]

Some were downright gross.. I.E. The girbil...  

[Spooky Wasabi Princess]

What do you call a lawyer at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.  

[Rellik San]

"If I were Hitler I'd kill all the Jews and one clown?"

"Wait... why a clown?"

"See, nobody cares about the Jews."

__________________

What was princess Diana's favourite ice cream?
Walls.



And the poor taste award goes to me. smile  

[Henneth Annun]

Rellik San

"If I were Hitler I'd kill all the Jews and one clown?"

"Wait... why a clown?"

"See, nobody cares about the Jews."

__________________

What was princess Diana's favourite ice cream?
Walls.



And the poor taste award goes to me. smile

*you are magically transported to the Kodak theatre where you are about to recieve the award*  

[EvFaerAshlynn]

What do you call a dead goth?
Necrophile bait.

'k that was a bad one.  

[Snows Wyntre]

I liked the Jew and clown one....