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Tags: vampire, night, dark, roleplay 

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Invisigoth0o
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Feral Bloodsucker

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:36 am
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/966755/lizzi_invisigoth

my fanfics. nothing to great and both are starts to series i never finished (or havent yet) i would love critics and ideas!  
PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 4:52 am
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That's awesome.
You do fanfiction too!
I write mostly Legend of Zelda.
But I do have a Harry Potter one-shot uploaded.

To view my fanfiction.net profile click Here.
3nodding

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Kitaliah_x


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:17 pm
I'd say I'm into a decent amount of fanfic, especially spin-offs. My favorite is:
The Very Secret Diaries of the Lord of the Rings they totally crack me up!!! Enjoy!!! biggrin  
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 5:32 pm
did anyone read any of mine? tips please! they have been stuck for quite a bit now sad  

Invisigoth0o
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[Barbarella]

Beginner Warrior

PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 2:56 pm
I liked the Very Secret Diaries...although they did get predictable after the first two. (If Aragorn tries anything with Frodo, Sam will kill him. Nyuk nyuk.) Shame on Elrond, stretching out the purple dress...


Abby's fanfic w/Wendy: It's not finished, evidently, and still looks like it's in the polishing stage. Why is Hook at Wendy's window? The narrative says he doesn't know what drew him there, but a more plausible reason such as threatening Wendy or kidnapping her or some other mischief would be better. Technically, it's always good to review your work, check spelling, and make sure the sentences are well-written. Revision is tedious for the writer, but a blessing for the reader. For instance, this sentence is really strange:

" The waight if her obligations hurt her and bared on her a tremendous burden, she felt trapped."


How about:
"Her obligations weighed heavily on her. She felt trapped. It was a burden too much to bear."

Or something like that.
Where are they going? Does Hook intend to get back at Peter by marrying Wendy? Will she become a pirate? Is her loyalty to Peter going to push her to trick Hook, or does the drawing signify the pirate captain is her big crush? Was her home life really so bleak that death was the best alternative? Little plot points and character motives need a bit more buildup. ^_^  
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:57 am
i would say that thats very good advice smile
i have several learning disabilities like dyslexia that tend to hinder my writing, and a wonky keyboard who seems to write what he wants, lol.
i would think Hook didnt knwo why he was there but perhaps he spys on Wendy as much as she moons over him. My inspiration for this came out of a dream i had where Wendy had amnesia and Hook brings her back to never land.

he discovers she cant remember a thing and forms a plan to sort of re raise Wendy as a pirate to get back at Pan. They end up falling in love and thats where the dream ended. so im stuck, not only can i barely remember the dream i dont know how to end the story.  

Invisigoth0o
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