[PRP] Reflections

[Green_Eyes]

Time was such a fleeting thing. A fully grown, black furred and beautiful (in her own right) lioness sat at the edge of a watering hole. Her posture was, for once, perfect as she peered down at the face that rippled gently as the wind blew across the water. It was an entirely familiar face. It belonged to her, after all, and it was the one thing that she knew best. Yet, it didn't quite look like her. Jini had grown so used to thinking about herself as a child. She had never experienced the full meaning of her age before.

Wasn't it only yesterday, that she'd spent the day here with her brothers and sisters- being watched, as carefully as possible, by their father? Wasn't it only yesterday, that Azima -or had it been Damu? She couldn't remember which- had scolded her about being frightened, and for lying about her tail being bitten?

It didn't really matter now. Her brothers and sisters were elsewhere. Most of them she hadn't spoken to in months. None of them were the same people they'd been back then.

Grown up Jini would have scoffed at the idea of monsters in the water. She was still small for her species, but completely confident that she could handle herself if she ever needed to.  

[Lethrossen]

Uumi yawned as he prowled through the Kusini lands, feeling tired from his morning with some of his and Sye's brood. Seriously why had she had so many again? His ears twitched and he smiled despite himself, because he had really become attached to some of the little ones this time around.

He didn't blame himself ever for being distant to Taabu or the second litter.. that was just who he was. He was only trying twice as hard this time around because that was what Sye expected of him.

His nostrils flared and he sighed softly, it seemed as if his rest and relaxation would not go one for as long as he had planned. When he came upon one of his daughters he felt a little surprised at how much she'd grown. Had he really seen none of them for that long?

"Hello Jini." He said softly, moving up beside her.  

[Green_Eyes]

She had spotted her father coming from a bit of a distance and had shrugged his presence off as inconsequential thing. Jini had grown up independently, for the most part, and had never really been bothered by the fact that both of her parents weren't really around. She knew of her knew, much younger brothers and sisters, and of the active role her father had taken in their lives and she supposed, that deep down, she was a little envious.

Until this new litter, Uumi had taken a detached and uninterested approach to fatherhood. If Jini wasn't an adult and completely proud of the lioness she'd become, she would have pouted to him about it and wondered why the younger ones were so special. Still, it didn't matter. She was old enough to have her own children now.

The past was what it was. There would be no changing it.

She was surprised when he spoke to her. Not that she hadn't expected him to- it was just something new and slightly unfamiliar. In some ways, Uumi and his fiery temper, which she had recently discovered was so much like her own, had always intimidated her.

"Hello," she mimicked his tone, and flashed her father a pleasant smile, "Beautiful day, isn't it?"

And it was. The sun shone, bright and fierce, high up in the pale blue sky and if it hadn't been for the cool breeze that whooshed by them every now and then, it would have been insufferably hot.  

[Lethrossen]

Uumi was silent for a moment while he gazed up at the sky. He loved looking at the sky more than anything, though he'd never say it out loud to anyone. The sky was like.. gazing into Syeira's eyes. Only much easier... He laughed slightly at the thought and shook his head, glancing to his daughter.

"Mm, it's alright weather. Hot though." He frowned slightly, tail flicking as he leaned down to drink. He wasn't really sure what to say to his daughter, how to hold a conversation with her. It was easier with the small ones because they just kept on talking and pestering...

This felt a little more awkward to him.  

[Green_Eyes]

Uumi wasn't the only one feeling the brunt of the awkward tension that see-sawed between father and daughter. For reasons she thought she understood, the conversation she'd had with her mother not so long ago had been easier and much more comfortable than this. Syei had made it so and, of course, Jini had had something on her mind that day she'd felt only her mother could help her with.

She felt obligated to prove to her father that she was just as interesting as one of her younger siblings, but wasn't quite sure where to start. Jini had outgrown (almost) all of her old, childlike habits. She liked to think of herself as a strong and independent lioness who'd waited, because she felt bound to these lands the same way she was bound to her family, a very long time to set out on an adventure.

"I'm going away soon," she told him formally, because she wasn't sure what else to say. Would he ask her any questions? Would he inquire about her safety? Or, would he simply accept her leaving as an inevitability?

Jini wasn't sure which she'd rather hear more. Uumi was almost a stranger to her. Still, she loved him- as much as a neglected daughter could.  

[Lethrossen]

He blinked and shifted. "Oh? Where to?" He wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel like he shouldn't let her. He'd gotten the hell out of home when he was an adolescent. And ended up stuck here. His tail curled around his haunches and he stared at both of their reflections.

"Seems a lot of your siblings are leaving this place." He said slowly, sounding a little sad. Or maybe jealous? "Azima has left... Damu has disappeared. Haba.. went in search of him." He only got this information from Syeira, none of them had really told him they were going even when the circumstances allowed it... but he didn't blame them.  

[Green_Eyes]

"Nowhere in particular," Jini shrugged and pawed at the ground, experimentally sharpening her claws in the tough soil and the bits of rock that had collected there. She wasn't sure why she'd told him. A part of her hadn't really expected him to care, but another, much more prominent part of her had wanted him to. Would he miss her? Would she miss him?

It seemed unlikely. It was hard to miss something unfamiliar.

"Really?" she was genuinely surprised, "I haven't talked to any of them in a long time. It's sad about Damu, though. Haba must be lost without him."

Jini remembered a time when she'd been a bit jealous of the bond they'd shared. It was incredibly sweet- and, she'd always thought that Azima should have been less cruel to his own other half. Now that she was older, Jini was almost grateful that she wasn't tied to anybody that way. She was entirely her own person. Unique, in that respect.

"You have the younger ones to keep you busy now, though," there was a smile on her face, "I'm sure with them around, you'll hardly notice any of us missing."  

[Lethrossen]

He blinked and glanced to her for a moment before looking back to the sky. No destination.. just wandering. That was boring. He couldn't very well say that out loud though, could he? He and his twin were supposed to visit all the prides around at that time... so many had sprung up these days though... from what little news carried into these lands anyhow.

His tail flicked and he gave a weak smile. "Not really." He admitted, almost shyly, that the young ones would not let him forget of his older, neglected children. "They're quite a handful. Now I know why I avoided Sye in the past when we had a den full of cubs..." He trailed off and glanced around to her, wondering what she thought of that. Did they think he was a terrible father? Probably. He was a poor father, he'd admit that freely. He'd just grown up... emotionally detached. He'd used his twin most of his young life just to manipulate her out of their homelands so he could go places. And he ended up here.

He supposed there was not a better place to end up.. he'd ended up with Sye after all. But... lately he'd felt very lonely. Children were one thing, they were okay... Sye was his true reason to go on living and one of the few things that gave him joy in life. He couldn't very well admit that to a daughter, something he helped created. He could not say to any of his children, 'i love your mother more than you and it will always be that way'. That would be cruel... but that was the truth. He did not feel she same kind of love and caring for his children that most fathers did.

"You should head toward the ocean.." He finally said, quietly. "I hear that it is beautiful. It is a place with... more water than the eye can see." He offered her another shy, half smile.  

[Green_Eyes]

Truth. A bittersweet smile found it's way onto her pretty face. Her father was telling her the truth about his feelings for her, and the rest of her brothers and sisters. She supposed that she couldn't begrudge him them, simply because his honesty meant that he thought she was old enough (and mature enough) to hear them. Uumi had never gone out of his way to treat her like his child, like somebody it was necessary for her him to lead or to discipline, and she supposed that it was partly this fact that had made her into the lioness she was today. She could respect him for that, because she was quite proud of the person she'd become. She was strong and independent, fiercely stubborn and, while she did sometimes resent that she'd inherited his fiery temper, she couldn't deny the fact that it often helped her get what she wanted.

"It was alright," Jini informed him calmly, and with one shrug of her shoulders, "we didn't really need you."

Her intentions weren't to hurt him. Actually, she didn't have any intentions at all. She was simply being honest with him, like he had been with her.

"I visited the ocean once," she grinned at him, this time genuinely pleasant, "It was gorgeous, but had such a nasty taste. I think I would like to go back there."  

[Lethrossen]

Uumi blinked and stared ahead, smiling bitterly. "Yeah, no one really needs me around here." He informed her in a slightly snotty tone. There Uumi went with his little feel sorry for me attitude.

He sighed lightly and shook his head. "I'm sorry... that's not quite what I mean." He grunted and fell quiet. This was really why Uumi didn't like being around others, he wasn't very nice.  

[Green_Eyes]

Everyone always took everything she said the wrong way. Jini wasn't a naturally cruel or pessimistic person, and she rarely paused to consider the consequences of her actions or her words. She had always been that way. Uumi may have been her father, but he'd never given her any special reason to treat him any differently than she treated anybody else. It was probably because of this rather unfortunate habit that she'd spent more time dealing with unpleasant people than she did with pleasant ones. Why was everyone so damned defensive?

"I said we didn't need you. That doesn't mean we didn't want you around, you know. There's a difference. It's a bit unfair of you to get so moody about something like that when it's entirely your fault that we never saw you. You could try and make yourself useful, instead of waiting around for somebody to tell you what to do. You're the father. You're supposed to lead."

Apparently, Jini wasn't capable of feeling sorry for people- especially when they were moping about things only they were responsible for.

"What did you mean?"