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 Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:49 am
EDIT: I meant to post this in "Txt Talk Horror Stories" - is it possible for someone to move it, please? Thank you!
This is actually a blog post I made over on Facebook a good few months back now, but it prompted a great deal of discussion for some inexplicable reason. I post it here for your delectation, entertainment and intellectual stimulation. Or something.
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Daily, we get an influx of kids into the store who spend hours at a time on a site called Bebo. Now, most of us aren't really one to talk with the amount of time we spend on here, but these kids take use of Bebo to a degree of obsession - so much so that I wonder if many of them actually have any real-life friends.
In the interests of understanding part of our clientele a little better, I decided to take a look at Bebo.
Here's a typical comment, left on Carly Stocker's page, also known as xXx-carly-07-xXx and possessor of the most stupid-looking pair of sunglasses I've ever seen:
"Ite u probz dnt memba me Lol
Im da one who wanted to go wiv ya lmao
bt u wiv me m8 nw so nvr mind
ne way u cn av me luff no 1 esle to giv it to lol
cya x"
Translation:
"Right. You probably don't remember me. Haha! I'm the one who wanted to go out with you... haha... but you're with my friend now, so never mind. Anyway, you can have my love - I don't have anyone else to give it to, haha! See you!"
Where's the vowels? What's with the peculiar combination of textspeak, regular English and words which are just plain wrong? ("luff" for "love", anyone?)
Here's another, from a comment left on Jerome Jones' page:
"HIYA BABEE =)
HOW R U ?
WELL A WIZ JUST PASSIN
FREW N A THOUGHT A WIDD
LEE YII MA LUV"
Translation:
"Hiya, baby! How are you? Well, I was just passing through and I thought I would leave you my love."
Since when has "A" been an acceptable substitute for "I"? Is "WIZ" really easier to type than "was"? Is the author of this comment really an illiterate imbecile or do they truly believe that this is the future of the English language?
It's times like this that I'm glad Facebook is mostly populated by sane human beings who have had more than a one-night stand with the English language - and only lends further weight to the "Bebo as ChavSpace" argument... but that's another story.
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 12:39 am
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:55 pm
I don't know what I want to do more: cry or punch somebody.
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:46 am
Monitor Lizard I don't know what I want to do more: cry or punch somebody. You could do both. That would be quite dramatic, like a movie scene. I can see it now - you bludgeoning a Bebo kid to death with your own shoe, tears streaming down your face... Actually, on further reflection I may be projecting somewhat here...
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:50 am
Oh, god. Those people just murdered the english language in one fowl swoop. Thank you for the translations. I didn't understand a word they had typed.
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:39 am
phantom_girl92 Oh, god. Those people just murdered the english language in one fowl swoop. Thank you for the translations. I didn't understand a word they had typed. Foul. Not fowl. (Sorry. But if this club isn't the right place to nitpick typos or homophones, where is? biggrin ) (Edit: Technically, the phrase should be "one fell swoop". Sorry. Again. biggrin ) Yes, I had trouble picking the meaning out of those "sentences". The trouble is, these people seem to think that this is the only way of communicating. I don't know if they're just incapable of using Standard English or if they're deliberately brutalising the language. One theory runs that they use these appalling spellings as a sort of "code" to deter people unfamiliar with it from reading their conversations - but it's hardly the Enigma code, is it?
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 7:43 am
phantom_girl92 Oh, god. Those people just murdered the english language in one fowl swoop. Thank you for the translations. I didn't understand a word they had typed. I crashed out the instant I attempted to make something out of this pathetic excuse for alphabet soup.
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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 6:36 am
I want to lay a poop monster on Bebo.
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:22 pm
I never would've been able to translate that, thank you.
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 4:36 pm
Thanks for translating it. @w@
I couldn't really understand that mush.
*shudders*
I'm merely a Facebook user. I don't see crap like that all too often on there. Just everywhere else....
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Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 11:39 am
That was complete horror for me in attempting to read that sweatdrop until I looked down even more and found a translation. redface
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:31 pm
Ugh. I'm usually a competent translator, but I could barely understand a word of what she was saying.
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Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:09 am
Why do these people feel the need to type "lol" at the end of every sentence? Perhaps their own typing makes them laugh hysterically? That's the only thing I can do if I don't want to punch something.
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Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:49 am
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Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 5:33 pm
eek emo stressed gonk scream crying redface burning_eyes
All of these cannot express my emotions.
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