Nikkular's Grand Quest

[Nikkular]

The Quest

Hello one and all! I've been on Gaia for a bit now, though there's been many months where I nearly forgot I had an account here XP It took me quite some time to decide on how exactly I would like my avatar to look, and it really surprised me to find out that m favourite happened to be the most opposite of my RL style. Alas, it stuck to me like glue and now I am stuck with the quest of creating this masterpiece of mine. Donations, are of course, very much so welcome, however, words of encouragement and compliments are also just as welcome. And now, the quest for the holy grail shall commence!

Total Value: 365,265 Gold
[Item Information]

Item List:
Enchanted Strings
Silver Promise Ring
Lovely Genie Gold Arm Bangle
Lovely Genie Gold Arm Bangle
Hermes' Moon 6th gen
Gold Starman Earring
Elven Ears (Tone F)
Gift of the Goddess
Biancamella
Ume Blossom Hairpin




Currently Hunting

 

[Nikkular]

White List

The following are the generous people who have donated to me.

Empty Currently  

[Nikkular]

Black List

The following people have been banned from this thread.

Empty currently, let's keep it that way!  

[Nikkular]

Humorous Line Contest

That's right folks! The great Nikkular is holding a contest for all those who stumbled upon this thread!

The contest is this: Write a humorous line, phrase, or short paragraph! Yes, this does include many things, so as to help those who are confused I have included in this a few examples.

Examples:

1. Meddle thee not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

2. English is a language that doesn't borrow from other languages...
It follows them into dark alleys, whaps them upside the head, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar."

3. (to the mirror) You are, without a doubt, the most annoying person I've ever met.

Did that help? I sure hope so!


To enter, all you must do is post in this thread. That's it! No fee's, no PM's, just simple posting of the funnies.

The winner will be declared when my Quest is completed, and the winner will recieve 1000 gaia gold. Not much I know, but once i've spent all that money i'll have little left. (Before anyone gets scared, I'm already saving the prize money to make sure that the winner does indeed get rewarded.)



Good luck to all participants!




"Fuzzy penguins make me happy and gleeful, fuzzy Hamburgers do not."  

[TheEmoSalesman]

If I said everything that came into my head, I'd either be very well-liked or hanging from a tree. Either way, the temptation is unbearable.

I should punch you in the feet.

"My toes itch." "With justice?" "...No."

Ooh, big words today. Gimme a cookie.

YOU ARE SEARED!  

[Nikkular]

Welcome! I think out of those my fave is the first.

Now everyone has some competition! Hooray! Keep the funnies coming.  

[TheEmoSalesman]

"Now, what did I tell you about driving Auntie Aubrey to the brink of insanity?"

"You really can have an entire inane conversation with yourself, can't you?"
"Who said that?!"

"You endorsed your p***s in the presidential campaign?!?!"
"And he would've won if Nader hadn't stolen the liberal votes!"

I can claim $6000 worth of Hollywood film prosthetics on my medical insurance, right?

"You didn't shave your own head?!?!?!"
"Why would I?
...
Why is everyone getting up? Are we going somewhere?"  

[TheEmoSalesman]

"Kate asked me if you were my soul mate."
"And what did you tell her?"
"The truth; that yes, yes you are. And the only reason I'm with her is because she has girl parts."
"Sometimes I forget that we're not gay."  

[TheEmoSalesman]

"I double-parked my car in front of the nearest high-rise and ran inside at ridiculous speeds. I told the security guard I had a meeting with Mr. Mortensen. I finally found the bathroom, in the depths of the building. It was a glorious poop, a poop that will be retold for generations. Then it hit me. There was no toilet paper. No paper products at all. And nobody was coming to help me."
"And?"
"And that's when I wiped my a** with my scarf."  

[TheEmoSalesman]

"Look, man, I'm sorry. I promise, from now on, I'll verbalize what I'm feeling instead of acting out. Like a woman."
"I'm sorry too. I've been so self-involved lately that I haven't had time for anyone else. Even my best friend."
"Thanks. So... make-up sex?"
"Uh... what?"
"I may not know a lot about relationships, but I'm pretty sure I have the reconciliation part right. Don't make a big deal out of it. Just take off your pants."

Rayne Summers makes me laugh. xd  

[TheEmoSalesman]

"Can I ask you a professional question?"
"Sure."
"It's clear that your breasts are not part of God's master plan, nor are they sentient alien lifeforms who have developed through natural evolution over the course of millennia. I'm also pretty sure you weren't involved in some accident, causing the government to increase your cup size during bionic augmentation."
"What's your question?"
"Can I see them?"  

[Demonic Repentance]

"I kill you. As in, kill you dead. As in, kill you dead. With a spork."  

[Demonic Repentance]

"Because the main difference is that women can have babies. And if you can't have babies, you're a man."
"Um, excuse me. My wife had ovarical cancer, she can't have babies."
"Then get an AIDS test, 'cause your wife's a dude, f*****t!"

XD SOUTH PARK RULES!  

[TheEmoSalesman]

"What are you guys doing?"
"We're smokin' reefer, Dewey, and you don't want no part of this s**t."
"Yeah... I don't wanna get a hangover. I can't get a hangover."
"It doesn't give you a hangover!"
"Well... I don't wanna get addicted to it."
"It's not habit-forming!"
"I don't wanna overdose..."
"You can't OD on it!"
"What, does it make you wanna have sex?"
"It makes sex even better! And you don't want none of this s**t!"
"I think I kinda want it."
"Ok, but just this once."  

[TheEmoSalesman]

"For years, Scotty, your best friend, made passes- and once or twice, made moves worse than that- at your girlfriends. You, however, slept with a girl he killed himself over. You win, Davan!"
"I swear to God, Aubrey, if the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, you just earned your own toll booth."