Behind Glass

[Mad As The Hatter]

This is a random poem I wrote like...a few months ago. ^^;; Sorry if it seems a bit 'emo'. I would like some feedback. And if you do flame it, please put it in a nice way :3 Thank you.

~Behind Glass~

It only takes a few words,

Just a few,

For me to break.

I heard what happened to you,

How much blood was lost,

How painful it was.

I can’t stop crying.

Why?

Why do you make me feel this way?

Why is it now so painful to hear your name?

Is it because you’re gone? How much I want you back?

Tears spill every night for you, and only you.

I don’t smile anymore, I can’t smile anymore.

Because your gone, and I can’t live without your touch.

I had this dream

Everywhere I looked it was white.

I was so alone, so scared.

But then I saw you

And my heart raced.

I called your name, but you couldn’t hear me.

I tried running toward you, just so I could feel your embrace one last time.

You were getting farther from me.

I screamed your name, but you still couldn’t hear me.

I finally got close to you, but I couldn’t touch you.

Like there was a glass barrier between us.

I kept pounding my fist on the glass, screaming your name over and over.

You didn’t notice.

You were looking right at me and you didn’t notice, like you couldn’t see me.

I kept crying.

So many tears

All for you.

And then you disappeared

I kept screaming for you to come back.

Oh God, please come back.

Even if it’s just one day, or one hour,

Anything just to be held in your arms,

Telling me you love me.

I know you won’t come back…

But I still hope

Please….

Please come back to me.  

[Otulissa]

Wow...that's really good! I don't think it's 'emo' at all! I think it's sweet and rather touching. For the 5th line, shouldn't it be "lost" instead of "loss?"

The 8th to last line should be "God" not "god" right? xD Sorry if I seem like a grammar/spelling freak... And the 6th to last line, I think you missed the word "be" in "anything just to __ held in your arms."  

[Mad As The Hatter]

XD Thank you! I edited the mistakes just for you :3 ^^; I thought I would have noticed them by now Oo...  

[Irishroseh]

Aww! That is so sad.
[but good]  

[Otulissa]

Mad As The Hatter

XD Thank you! I edited the mistakes just for you :3 ^^; I thought I would have noticed them by now Oo...

You're welcome~!!  

[Lyember]

i liked it... i felt like i could relate to it in some way...  

[Otulissa]

Really?  

[Lyember]

yeah...I "lost" someone. Over the summer. He moved to Hawaii. I can't stop missing him...  

[SpunkyOtaku]

Can't say the same I'm afraid. But still, it was touching...  

[Otulissa]

Aw... sad *hugs Lyember* It's okay!

And I agree with SpunkyOtaku-san. I can't really 'relate.' But, it was still a great poem!  

[Lyember]

heart Thanks for the hug!  

[Otulissa]

You're welcome! heart