Ill start. (ill try to keep a very long story short)
Ive been with my current partner for nearly 6 years. Hes a proffesional fisherman. About 4 years ago we had a car accident driving to Geelong that resulted in him developing epilepsy. Medication seemed to work, but then his alcoholisim became worse and the meds stopped working, however the side affects of the meds continued to do their part. His side affects became very severe, mood swings, aggresion, phisical violence, short and long term memory loss, lack of appatite, difficulty sleeping and difficulty controlling impulses.
At this point he was having up to 4 seizures a week, as a fisherman whom stays out at sea for weeks at a time, this is severly dangerous. His older brother who fishes with him (the only 2 on their private cray boat), told him he couldnt come any more. That he needed to get in control before he could take him back to sea.
My bf then hit the bottle and dope worse then ever. He spent around $300 a week on dope, and would drink till removed from the pub more nights then not. His mates all alcoholics were supportive of this lifstyle as Matt (my bf) was always buying rounds and dope for them.
At this point i wasnt working so i could care for him, then the money ran out. He was still getting a small income from he and his brothers buisness, but the cost of hireing somone to replace Matt on the boat took away nearly all his income.
At this point he started to beat up on me. I only stayed because i knew that somwhere in his head, behind all the drugs, alcohol and medication was the man i loved. I was convinced he'd come back to me.
Two years later we got on the list for a brain surgury prosidure to remove the damaged brain tissue and hopfully stop the seizures. It began with a two week stay at the Austin Hospital Melb. he got wired up to an EEG (monitors electricity in your brain) and was put in a lazyboy type chair and watched on video by trained neurologists 24/7. The idea was, that when a seizure happend they would run in, inject him with a substance that would flush through to where the 'sparks' in his brain were and stay there so when he was rushed down for a MRI they could see exactly where the sourse was, and presuming the EEG and the phisical movemtns he made during the seizure which are recorded on video all point to the one spot in the brain, they operate.
Matt was one of the lucky 2% of the population of epileptics who fitted in this small persentage. A week later he was having brain surgury.
That was two years ago.
Matt has had only 8 seizures since then, an amazingly small number and all related to him having a binge drink within a week before it. He is still on medication and has all the side affects, just not as severe. He still drinks even though the doctors have warned that if he continues he stand a very high chance of the sezures returning as they were before. He has little to no memory of before the operation.
I know now that the Matt i fell in love with 6 years ago is gone. One day he may grow up, but considering he is now 37, its a slim chance, and at 25 myself, i dont want to wait.
When i finish out the year at the school i currently work at, i am going back home to my parents place. Im going to TAFE to study vet nursing and to try and put the pieces of my life back together. I still love Matt and always will, but i cant wait the rest of my life for him to grow up. Hes a good man, just having a tough ride.
Matt and I at Castle Cove, not far from where we live.
