Idle nonsense.

[FogSage]

I was just reading the first Discworld novel, The Color of Magic, and the idea of a scalie magician popped into my head. He calls himself Grunglesmeech the Elder, wears a bright blue robe with a long hood, and has only one eye, an absurdly large green one, the other one having been pulled out and the eye socket sewn shut.

I decided to make him as ridiculous as possible and composed a little ditty on the ride home.

I give you: The Hymn of Grunglesmeech.

O Lord, how do thy weasels keep,
In thy bosom, firm and deep?
Perhaps I’ll see them in my sleep.
O la, infinity.
O Lord, the birds that poop outside
Do my patience try and ride
And grievous injury do my pride.
O la, infinity.
O Lord, an idle beast have I.
Won’t do work, I know not why
Perhaps he’ll work when he dies
O la, infinity.
O Lord, protect me from the hands
Of nature’s fury, like iron bands,
Which turn stones into countless sands
O la, infinity.

It is meant to be sung instead of read.  

[Krissim Klaw]

Bwhahaaa, sounds funny you should get a commish of him.  

[FogSage]

*small excerpt from story*

They approached the house. It was not a sprawling castle, nor a hut crouching miserably in a swamp. It was just a house, with white washed walls and a thatched roof. There was smoke coming out of the chimney.

"This is where you live, my lord?" Lily looked up at Grunglesmeech.

"Yes, child. Of course, others of my kind usually live under rocks, but I was never one for that. No running water, you know, which is a frightful inconvenience. Ah well, let us see what that old fool Biraemus is up to."

As they walked toward the house, Lily could not stop herself from asking a second question. "Who is Biraemus, my lord?"

"Child, did I not, upon taking you away from that hideous place, tell you to not call me 'my lord'?"

"Yes, my lord."

The aged lizard sighed. "Biraemus is an old friend of mine, and the biggest poofter you will ever meet. Oh, he may seem like quite a specimen of manliness, but you'll see."

He opened the door to the cottage and walked in. "Biraemus, you filthy swine, how many men did you sleep with while I was away?"

"Oh, it was either one or a thousand, they all were rather similar. I actually made a couple of them cry. Your bedsheets could use with cleaning, by the way." a voice came from the kitchen.

Lily looked around the cottage. It was exceptionally clean, which was not what she expected from such an eccentric wizard. Perhaps this Biraemus was Grunglesmeech's housekeeper.

She turned back to ask Grunglesmeech if this was indeed what he was, and instead of the aged lizard she saw a man hanging up the long blue cloak on a coatrack.

"O, a poofter is a frightful thing." the man sighed. He walked past Lily and peeked into the kitchen. "Say the wrong thing and they'll brain you with a frying pan. Be especially careful not to make fun of their sewing skills, or they'll fill your bed with compost without your permission."