Coming out of the Wiccan Closet

[GoddessAmaya]

hi everyone, i have a problem and i would really appeciate the advice.

I come from a very strict christian household, where most things such as being gay, a witch, or anything besides chrisitians(excluding Jews and Muslims) to be horrible and worthy of death or disownment.
My problem is that a couple of years back while i was questioning my sexuality(i am now a bisexual leaning mainly to women) I found a book on wicca and now I feel like I found a missing part of myself. The problem now is telling my parents.
The last time something similar happened it was my aunt who told the family she was a lesbian and decided to follow Hindu, she was disowned and now no one is allowed to speak to her(i still email her cause she was the only fmaily member that understood), and now its happening to me but it probably be worse because im only sixteen...

when i asked this question before most people said i should drop Wicca and do as my parents say, but i cant imagine life without Wicca, it has taught me so much and has made me a better person. So now I rely on my bf and friends to get my tarot cards, runes, and books and I have a secert trunk for that and my second BOS(the first on was tossed in the fireplace when my parents found it).

PLease I need help!!!  

[DenvoPryde]

I come from a similar family. Most of what I was taught was from my grandma, but she keep most of it secert. One person in my family just converted from judaism to christianity and was disowed and beaten. I learned a long time ago, Why tell them. Give it a few years get a career move out and just live your life. Most of us lip sync to our families religions. If Wicca makes you feel whole then good for you. Be yourself.  

[Clair Fay]

Have to agree there. If it's THAT severe of a situation, just keep it on lock-down for now until you can find a new place. And when I say that, I mean it. Believe me, i'm the fiery type to stand up and shout "SCREW OFF" and shove the facts in people's faces if they're being ignorant a$$holes.  

[AiRune]

You shouldn't conform to something just because it's the path of least resistance. Hold out until you're out of the house, then maybe see if your aunt can help you out. Not that you should mooch off her, but having someone around that's similar to you would do you some good. Especially when you're just beginning to flap those wings.  

[too2sweet]

I agree that as long as you are still living at home, I'd not say anything. There is no rush to let others know about your path. It's not something that affects them in anyway (really), and telling them you could have a serious effect on you. Look at it this way even if you told them, odds are there is no way they would let you practice in their house anyways, so it would change the situation for the better in anyway. You won't be able to join a coven until you are at least 18 either so, now is the time to spend continuing your studies (quietly) and simply biding your time. It's frustrating not to be able to do what you want, but Wicca (and the Gods) aren't going anywhere. They will understand if you need to wait a few more years.  

[akineal]

really agree with Denvo.
I come from a similar family to the point that out of my Grandma's 8 kids, 5 are pastors/deacons of their churches.
My vote is wait it out, see if they seem loose on anything and let them in on that. slow and steady.
Try doing things that pull you away from the christian style. . . opt out of sunday school/youth group, don't sing along with hymns, don't pray or participate in apostle's creed, or avoid church altogether. Slowly your family will get that you aren't into the christian scene and start wondering, that'll be a start to change.
It took me 10 years to tell my closest sister that I was a witch and even then I said "polytheistic" to slide her into the fact. Long conversation ensued but she's okay with it as long as I don't try to fight Christianity.
I told my mom I wasn't christian (this took 11 years to say) and because she's a pastor she figured out I was a "pagan" through the conversation. . . . she firmly believes I'm going to hell in a handbasket. . . .

also depending on your age, you may be viewed a lot differently, my family is treating it on a "she's an adult she's made her own decisions" level but if you're a teen, you might get what my substitute teacher said "it's a phase, you'll grow out of it and come to your senses" or my cousins/uncles/aunts view "beat it out of them and force them to church"  

[Diana_Moon]

Since your only sixteen I wouldn't say anything to your parents at the moment. wait till your 18 and on your own. That way your parents don't have as much control over you. One thing that I find to help, is getting positive information about Wicca, and to sit down with your parents and discuss the information that you find. That is what I did with my own mother, and it helped her to better understand certain things she was confused about.  

[blindfaith^_^]

I agree with everyone else here who thinks you should keep your faith to yourself at least until you are out of the house. I would go farther and ask if you can keep all the pagan/wicca stuff out of the house too? Your parent already found one incriminating book and they didn't exactly respond well. I assume they aren't stupid people, if they keep finding stuff, they are going to figure out that you are looking at or following another religion. I think it's probably best if you just avoid that whole situation.  

[GoddessAmaya]

Right now Im keeping the advice that everyone is stating right now. The only people who know of my religion are my friends and the already know about my secercy with my parents. Most of my stuff is keep out of site in a chest that is locked in a secert attic room I discovered. (My parents dont know of this room because my house is new and the plans never stated anything about a hidden room. Also my boyfriend(who claims he turned atheist because Wiccan changed his Christianity views) lets me practice over at his house with runes and tarots(his parents love me and they dont care as long as im not killing anything.)

I have tried around two years ago to confront my parents about it but it almsot got me sent to private school. So for right now I guess my closest way to have my connections to the gods is through my dreams.

(PS Im sorry I didnt know if I was suppose to put this topic in the questions and answers section of the forum)  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

Through your dreams? What about prayer, simple ritual, meditation?  

[GoddessAmaya]

its hard for me to do rituals in my house or outside for that matter(especially now that its getting closer to the winter season and the weather is kinda acting loopy.) Most times I get to practice is during prayer, meditation, or dream/soul searching.

Im starting to get into Sabbats too but thats kinda hard as well  

[WitchyBoy]

i remember when i came out of the broomcloset... drak days *shudder*  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

GoddessAmaya

its hard for me to do rituals in my house or outside for that matter(especially now that its getting closer to the winter season and the weather is kinda acting loopy.) Most times I get to practice is during prayer, meditation, or dream/soul searching.

Im starting to get into Sabbats too but thats kinda hard as well

A ritual doesn't need to be elaborate. It won't be a "Neo-Wiccan ritual" as such but that doesn't mean it's not meaningful or effective. Ritual is, in effect, prayer in motion. You can light incense and a candle, or perform a particular set of motions (Cunningham gives a good idea for that in one of his books, actually) and so on. Pouring a quick offering of water or milk on the ground, taking a meditative bath (actually meditating in the bath isn't highly recommended, depending on how deeply you meditate, as you may fall asleep and drown. Don't scoff, it does happen wink ) and so on are good too.

The important things are your mindset, your focus on the deities, and your devotion.

But I understand how difficult it can be. I went through a stage of not holding ritual because I didn't have the space to cast circle or anything. But after a while it chafed too much and I had to improvise and do what I could.

But that's me. Not everyone may feel that sort of desire for ritual or things like that. Prayer is fantastic in its own right, as are meditations and dream-quests and all ways of contacting the divine ^_^  

[GoddessAmaya]

okay, thank you everyone!!!  

[Aryain Flames]

If you dont want to tell your parents, then dont! my parents know im wiccan, but i'd never tell my grandparents 'cause they're very stricktly christain.