Wiccan Marriage?

[akineal]

I understand the concept of handfasting is the equivalent to marriage in every way except for one. ..

there's no "til death do you part"

Handfasting lasts a year and a day and then that's it. If you want to stay married you have to rehandfast the guy/girl. My issue is, I can barely remember my birthday, and would rather not go through the ceremony every year. . .

Is it bad to want to have a christian type of wedding even though I practice witchcraft?

Divorce is not a perk for me. so that isn't a pro for handfasting. I want to be forever, but I don't want to renew it live a club fee. I barely remember anniversaries and I would have to remember to remarry my husband before I become single by default?


HELP  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

I don't see why you can't add your own sort of "til death do us part" clause into the handfasting. It's not like there's one standard across-the-board format for handfastings that one must adhere to in order for it to be a "real" handfasting.

And of course you can have a Christian marriage while practicing witchcraft. There are Christian witches and none of them are really excluded from the faith. Or are you using Wicca and witchcraft interchangeably? Because the two are most certainly different, seperate things.  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

Handfasting takes two forms.

One is the "year and a day" deal. After this trial period, you don't renew "year and a day" - you renew for life.

You can do a lifetime one from the outset if you'd choose to. You can also do a "past the veil of death" sort of one but that's really serious. You wouldn't be getting rid of them wink  

[Clair Fay]

Thank you, Sanguina. I was about to say that handfastings are not something you renew every year. The first one is for at least a year and a day (it can vary to a few years or months depending on the couple's choice, but a year seems to be the most recomended). The first time it's "for as long as we shall love" and then the second time it's "for as long as we shall live" and then, as was said earlier, you can take a third handfasting (or do it on the second)--sort of like renewing your vows--and say "past the veil of death."  

[WitchyBoy]

i find the whole thing very romantic... i like to sit back and imagine what it will be like.  

[doistu]

Thanks for starting this post as I kind of was hoping someone here would give me an answer to a similar question...

I'm a pagan and my OH is kind of...well he's not christian. We would have liked a wedding like a christian wedding but they don't do them for people like us do they?
I guess we could do the registry office thing but we wanted a ceremony so we could be spiritually binded.

Any one got any ideas?  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

doistu

Thanks for starting this post as I kind of was hoping someone here would give me an answer to a similar question...

I'm a pagan and my OH is kind of...well he's not christian. We would have liked a wedding like a christian wedding but they don't do them for people like us do they?
I guess we could do the registry office thing but we wanted a ceremony so we could be spiritually binded.

Any one got any ideas?

Here in the States, so long as you pay for the space (the church or whatnot) and pay the officiant they'll marry you generally. If you can find a UU church or another liberal-leaning sect of Christianity I would think the preacher would be more inclined to be accepting and incorporating your views into a service.  

[WitchyBoy]

well what i was thinking for mine was to get the certificate from justice of the peace and then do the ceremony ourselves.  

[doistu]

I see thanks fo that.

Unfortunately, here in England its a bit stricter. You have to have been christened (which I have) but other than thsat I dunno  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

doistu

I see thanks fo that.

Unfortunately, here in England its a bit stricter. You have to have been christened (which I have) but other than thsat I dunno

Huh. That seems a bit out of character for the C of E.  

[Clair Fay]

Okay, I actually did some research on this a while ago (random research--so useful). You can find a UU priest to officiate the handfasting/wedding or you can find a Wiccan/Pagan church close to you (there are a surprising amount) and get a high priest/ess to officiate it.

As far as I'm concerned, though, I would just much rather preffer a high priest and priestess to be present. Only one needs to be officiated, and I really could care less which, but I would want both to be present, just to give honour to the God and Goddess (I'm really big on representation, honour, and symbolism).  

[doistu]

In all honesty, I don't want people to know I'm pagan and family and friends are going to come. It's not that I'm not proud of my faith but I want people to see me for who I am and not a stereotype they might place on me.

For this reason, and the reason that my OH is not pagan, I would not want a handfasting or to have the wedding officiated by a pagan authority. The Goddess and God know of my committment and love to them but its not a day for them. Its for me and my future husband hehe. Thats not to say they won't be gladly welcomed to the festivities though.

Perhaps the registry office is just the best place for it and then a nice party afterwards. If we choose we might do a sort of solitary, private handfasting with just the two of us but I don't see why we would lol  

[WitchyBoy]

doistu

In all honesty, I don't want people to know I'm pagan and family and friends are going to come. It's not that I'm not proud of my faith but I want people to see me for who I am and not a stereotype they might place on me.

For this reason, and the reason that my OH is not pagan, I would not want a handfasting or to have the wedding officiated by a pagan authority. The Goddess and God know of my committment and love to them but its not a day for them. Its for me and my future husband hehe. Thats not to say they won't be gladly welcomed to the festivities though.

Perhaps the registry office is just the best place for it and then a nice party afterwards. If we choose we might do a sort of solitary, private handfasting with just the two of us but I don't see why we would lol

see i like that something small and simple.  

[Clair Fay]

WitchyBoy

doistu

In all honesty, I don't want people to know I'm pagan and family and friends are going to come. It's not that I'm not proud of my faith but I want people to see me for who I am and not a stereotype they might place on me.

For this reason, and the reason that my OH is not pagan, I would not want a handfasting or to have the wedding officiated by a pagan authority. The Goddess and God know of my committment and love to them but its not a day for them. Its for me and my future husband hehe. Thats not to say they won't be gladly welcomed to the festivities though.

Perhaps the registry office is just the best place for it and then a nice party afterwards. If we choose we might do a sort of solitary, private handfasting with just the two of us but I don't see why we would lol

see i like that something small and simple.

Lol Of course you would, darling, and I have to agree with him. Small and simple handfastings/weddings aren't nearly as overwhelmingly stressful or budget-consuming than godly affairs that take up an entire plain. I can also understand your reasoning with the stereotyping. Personally, though, I'm so far out of the closet I may as well be in the spotlight (more by process of elimination, seeing as how there are little to no "out in public" witches around here).  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

doistu

In all honesty, I don't want people to know I'm pagan and family and friends are going to come.

I'm in the same boat.
No one else I know is Pagan, my fiance isn't a spiritual person...so pretty much if we incorporated Norse elements into it, it would just be for me. And since it's supposed to be a day about both of us, I would feel selfish.

And I wouldn't want to spend the reception/party explaining things and answering questions about my faith xd