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 Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:06 pm
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Days blended into a mesh of one for the prince of the lions that let their hearts soar with their bonded birds of prey. The black lion had kept on a facade for those around him, with small holes here and there. All of those but his bonded avian, Mfalme. The martial eagle could see through anything that Umoja tried to put up, and so the male never bothered. Instead, the eagle had become the river that Umoja could unleash him emotions into. The eagle wasn't too thrilled with the situation, but he knew that he was needed.
Umoja let his paws carry him to a more open area of the lands, Mfalme gliding on the weak breeze above him. Solitude was what the prince wanted, but he knew better than to stay too far from the center of home. He needed to be close by in case he was needed. These restrictions tugged as his heart, but he left them still. He knew better than to be the rebel, strongwilled prince of the lands. What the pride needed now was strength, and he would offer it. The downside was that he could only take so much.
Flopping onto his belly, the loose bits of foliage flying up around him, he groaned. Hopefully he would get just a moment to himself. He had to break this habit of his, but the effort seemed too much. He could only see Nyonda in his children. In Ficha and Hisia, too. He knew better than to say anything lest he reignite their own pain. So here he would lay, saying the same things over and over to Mfalme, waiting for the tear in his heart to finally scab over so he could continue on with his life.
Lamkana had been surprised to learn what had transpired within the pride after she returned, and as she learned, she had had to face the heartaches of lost members and friends, the pain and sorrow that settled over the pride affecting her as deeply as it did anyone else. Even the jealousy she had always harbored for Nyonda did not overpower the loss her death left behind, or the sadness she felt for her mate and cubs. Nyonda had been a good lioness, a good huntress, no matter that Lamkana had always harbored silly ideas.
Many were healing now, slowly as it was, and life was beginning to go back to a semblence of normalcy - or as normal as it could with so many lost. She had plunged headlong into hunting, her skill and craft needed now more than ever with so many hurt, dead and lost, especially with Elea in the state that she was. It was her duty to provide for her pride and she was taking it seriously, all thoughts of glory and proving her worth abandoned for the time being.
Today, she was coming back from one of her hunting excursions, dragging behind her the carcass of a deer. She had her back to Umoja, pulling it as she trotted backwards, and it wasn't until Kota swept in with a dignified squawk that she paused her actions and stood to see what the commotion was about. Surprise lit her features instantly, eyes widening slightly as she realized she had intruded upon something rather, well, personal. The mourning king was enough to break her heart, but she had yet to bring herself to say a word to him.
"Uhm, Umoja?" she cleared her throat as she spoke, adressing him as she always had, "I don't suppose you're hungry?" She had been about to ask him if he was alright, but she thought the answer rather obvious and the question fairly stupid.
The words had not registered immediately in his mind, as it was in a hazy state. Mfalme swooped down to land on the ground, his claws awkwardly in the way as he hopped over to n** Umoja's paw. As the pair had teased each other endlessly, he knew just the amount of pressure to apply to get the oaf out of his daze. Feeling the lion's great paw swat at him, the bird screeched at him. "Keep your head up, Umoja, you look like bull's crap. You've got someone here." He decided not to mention the name; Umoja could embarass himself without the eagle's help.
Raising his head up to see the visitor, Umoja's purple eyes caught the shade of brown. Filtering through the knowledge that he must have as leader, he lightly remember her. Lamkana. She was a huntress, one of a decent sized family. That was where his information grew hazy. Something about the rest of the family not having much luck as scouts, so she was kept as a huntress. He'd have to check with one of the other's later to see if his memory was correct. He couldn't trust much of it lately.
"Ah," he said clumsily as he tried to find his voice. "Not really," he began to say, but Mfalme snapped his beak in anger. "...but I think I should eat something, or Mfalme will be eating me for a meal." His smile was faint as he shuffled his body around to stand. No use in making the girl drag a meal over here for him after she had already been dragging it.
"Lamkana, right?" he asked quietly, as if hiding the fact that he wasn't completely certain. "Thank you."
It was comforting, in a sense, to know that he could see through whatever sorrow it was to recognize her. Her name on his lips was uplifting, a joyous note in her mind, though the way he phrased it did leave a lingering bad taste. She suppose she couldn't expect him to remember a younger lioness to any great extent, but she had always hoped that she had made some kind of impression. Perhaps Kings had no time to recollect such miniscule things.
"Yes, Lamkana," she said softly, offering a smile and simply nodding. Well, if all he knew was her name, she supposed that was enough. At least he was acknowledging her - others ignored everyone in their mourning, this she had seen with her own two eyes. "No need to really thank me, I'm just doing my duty to the pride. Everyone has a responsibility, just like everyone has to eat."
She backed away from the corpse a few steps so that he could have at it at his wish, instead choosing to sit. She didn't want to stare, but she wasn't sure if he was in the mood to talk. It wasn't her place to go prying, she being someone he didn't precisely know well. She was vaguely aware of Kota wheeling down to sit near her on a fallen log, preening his feathers. He seemed agitated, though she couldn't fathom why.
The black lion knew better than to let time linger, and so he pulled himself a littler closer to the corpse, deciding to chew at the first thing he could reach; a thigh. The food felt grainy in his mouth, but that was only because the desire to eat was missing. Not wanting to worry the rest of the pride, or make his newfound promotion any more shakey, he ate with a determination to prove that he could be strong when needed. Even if he had no desire to.
His eyes lingered up to her once in a while, more in curiosity if she was going to eat any.of the meal she had caught. Picking through, he tossed some bits to Mfalme, knowing that the martial eagle was above eating scraps, but accepting them anyway. Umoja was never one to give his bonded anything but the best.
After he had eaten through the leg, he took a moment to relax, rolling back a bit with his tail curled around his side. With a light sigh, he tried to make himself look a little less pathetic and a little more regal.
"It's pleseant to know that there are some who are stronger than others," he said with a subtle compliment. "I could certainly learn from you." Mfalme snapped his beak in humor, fluffing his feathers up in an attempt to hide the extent of teasing. It was obvious that words had been exchanged in a similar fashion between eagle and lion.
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Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 2:47 pm
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She watched him with a bit of curiosity, though she was trying her hardest not to be rude by staring. She wasn't hungry, at least not yet. The kill she had brought down had been primarily to feed the pride and those that couldn't hunt for themselves, for whatever reason. If she only hunted when she needed food, she wouldn't be providing very well for those that needed help. She prided herself on how helpful she could be, all the things she was able to accomplish.
What surprised her about him was not the fact that he was eating despite not being hungry, not the fact that he was putting up such a determined mask despite obviously not wanting to act so - it was the strange bit of flattery. "Excuse me, sir?" she asked, almost dumbfounded by his words. She stared at him for a moment, brows creased in confusion, before she finally shook her head.
"I think our situations are very different. I am strong because I didn't lose anyone very close to me, where as others have lost their whole world, or close to it," she said, though her eyes fell down to stare at the carcass he was eating from instead of him. "There is nothing to be learned here except perhaps always doing your duty, but then, who am I to be an example?"
Umoja blinked in surprise as to how she reacted to what he had said. Strong, yet a little uneasy as well. His tail curled as he studied her, letting his eyes linger only a touch more before looking out at the valley around them.
"Our situations are different, but the sadness is the same. Our whole pride feels the loss." His shoulders shuddered with a sigh. "Perhaps I am taking too long to heal. I still have my children, after all. It is not like Nyonda will be forgotten from this world."
Mfalme's wings rustled. "Ahem." He was obviously not pleased at the mention on Nyonda, but there was nothing he could do. The black lion glared at his bonded, but Mfalme didn't back down. He merely kept his beak shut.
Lightly irritated, as he was very proud and determined of himself most of the time, he didn't want to lose to this unspoken battle. Only, he didn't want to start something in front of the lioness. With a shake of his head, and gritting his teeth, he apologized to Lamkana, surrendering this battle. "I apologize, I seem to have a loose tongue lately. One that doesn't suit the ears of anyone, even Mfalme."
She frowned at him as he tried to explain their situations, the likeness, the fact that they all shared the same sorrow. She couldn't help but think that there situations were still hardly similar at all. Nyonda had been important to the pride, as had many others, but none of those that had been lost had been her mate, or the father of her cubs.
Just as she was about to open her mouth and pour out more symapthy, perhaps lay herself at his feet, she heard a distinct grunt from beside her. Her blue eyes swivelled to land on Kota, whose eyes were shut, but she had no doubt he was paying quite close attention to the conversation. She paused to consider what she was doing, and thought better of it. There were ways to get close to Umoja, to help him, but pouring out sympathy when he was trying to be storng was not one of them.
"No need to apologize," she said with a shrug of her shoulders, worrying the inside of her cheek for a moment. "Everyone takes different lengths of time to heal, especially when the scars are deeper. What you say or don't is your choice, I think, and part of the process." She calculated the words before she said them, her voice a little less overly friendly, taking on a more serious tone now. She did want to appear mature, and not just a cub rolling at his paws.
Mfalme climbed onto one of Umoja's paws, facing the brown lioness with a glint of humor in his eyes. Upon close inspection, very small silver scars could be seen under Umoja's fur, visible reminders of the trust that Umoja had in his bonded, even if it did hurt.
"Ugh, Mfalme, I don't feel like looking at the back of your feather-filled brain right now." He tried to shake the bird off of him, but only recieved an indignant squack and more scratches to his paw. Defeated, Umoja let the eagle be for the moment.
"That is true," he replied, glancing up at Lamkana. "I fear I'm dumping my own sorrows on you. It feels easier to do so with one I'm not so close to. I need to be strong for my children, and speaking to Ficha and Hisia only makes things worse. You may brush off my apologies all you want, but only accepting one is desired." He offered a smile to the younger lioness.
After doing so, it seemed that Mfalme was content with what the lion had said, and hopped off his paw. The brat was learning to accept others a little more openly now. He needed to at this point in his life, with only his children left of his family. His pride was melting to an acceptable level, as well. If only his father could see him now. Perhaps through the clouds in the sky, but even then Mfalme couldn't be certain.
A weak smile spread across her maw at the way the pair behaved, despite the fact that it was an argument. Kota wasn't much for the company of others and preferred to stay off to the side in most situations, especially around strangers (even more so given the general distrust of vultures lately), but she imagined if anyone ever saw them fussing, it was something quite similar.
"I'm willing to listen, as I have to many others. I try to help where I can, even if I think my only real skill lies in nourishing," she nodded to the carcass, but she did leave her smile in place. She knew Ficha and Hisia were Nyonda's sisters, the ones that looked so much like her. Hisia with her own brood now, Ficha injured but recovering while still taking on burden after burden - that family was strong.
"If accepting one is all you need, then I so I will, no matter how misplaced I find them," her smile brightened a little as she shook her head, finding this turn of the conversation to be a bit awkward. She could only smile in her awkwardness, and glance to Kota for comfort, though he appeared to be sleeping (even if she knew that that was hardly likely at all).
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Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:51 pm
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Mfalme was quite a loud one, obviously different from Lamkana's bonded. He was never afraid to put Umoja in his place, especially when he needed it. Quite pleased with himself, he began preeding, cleaning himself up for no real reason other than to feel marvelous.
Umoja, snorting at his bonded once he noticed what he was doing, couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Ah, well. Your skill is one we need greatly." He let hiself reach forward to stretch his paws before pulling himself up on all four legs, slightly wobbly at first. He had been down for too long, and needed to blood to rush through him limbs again. After stretching, he settled to sit, his body facing at an angle sideways to Lamkana. He could see some forms in the distance moving. Members gathering together, as they always did. Normalcy was beginning again, and he needed to thrust himself in the middle of it, as he had before the earth quake.
"Thans for the meal, no matter how small it was." He nodded his head, but his mind wandered. What to do now? The void was still there, almost as if it was throbbing in his head. Seeing the strength of Lamkana, of the other members of the pride only made it worse. He had to let it pass. He just didn't know how.
"Ahh...Lamkana?" he said quietly, and awkwardly, after quite a long pause. He fell quiet soon after, as if he was unsure as to what he was going to ask. It seemed so juvenile, but something he needed as reassurance.
"And don't I know that," she said softly at his mentioning of her skill, her deep blue eyes swinging out to look at the pride members she could see at a distance. Somewhere there was Elea, once so proud and strong, cut down in the prime of her life. She had always looked up to her, even if she had been a bit older herself. There were countless others who could no longer do what she did, no matter how hard they tried. The thought of being helpless sent a shiver down her spine, because she would have been even farther away from her goal in life.
"You're very welcome, Umoja, whenever you need it. I imagine the pride must need you terribly right now," she turned her eyes back to watch him, her gaze lingering on his face. He seemed to be holding himself together, but how much of that was a facade and how much of it was the truth? Even the strongest among them could be filled with overwhelming pain. She had seen it enough and it broke her heart to think that such great lions and lionesses could fall.
"Ah, yes?" she asked, blinking her eyes and looking away from him, after she realized she was staring.
Umoja hadn't noticed any movements from Lamkana. His eyes were locked on the forms out in the distance. Knowing that he needed to be there all the time, but fearing that his facade would slip if he did so. Oh, what should he do? He had no one to ask for council anymore. Perhaps Hifadhi, but the old lion had a different outlook. He was a captain, far from being a King. Umoja needed to relearn his emotions, to offer more compassion to those around him. Especially his children. He only feared the day when he might need help to move on.
Slightly shaking his head, he woke himself out of the daze he had put himself in. His deep violet eyes turned to face Lamkana's, but he realized that she wasn't looking at him. How long had he been in that daze?
"Ah, I'm sorry," he said roughly, wincing slightly. "I go and ask for your attention only to leave you hanging. I'm such a mess." He could feel Mfalme's watchful look, but ignored the eagle. "I just...I hope you can keep this between us. I really don't want it to get out that I'm not who I'm pretending to be right now. The strength is there, it's just...not wanting to come out right now. Forcing it is exhausting, but eventually it'll become what I am." His tail twitched at the awkward thought, his eyes still hoping to catch Lamkana's, hoping that she would do as he asked.
"No need to apologize for that," she shook her head, chewing lightly at the inside of her cheek as she tried to find the right words to say. "Everyone needs time to think, when our minds choose to take the time isn't always our choice, is it?" She smiled slightly and looked back up at his eyes, but only then did she catch the seriosness, the gravity that was held within them. He was almost afraid, it seemed.
"Umoja," she began, softly, "I would never betray you. The pride knows what you have gone through and many have gone through it themselves. No one would blame you, but if my silence is what you want in this matter, then you can trust me." She lifted her chin up some, a proud gesture, her eyes not breaking away from his. "I'm not so fickle as to sell you out for a bit of gossip. My loyalty is to you."
What was so sad about the declaration was that while she was saying it as any loyal pride member might, declaring their loyalty to their king, there was just so much more in her words that she couldn't express. It was an obsession, even now, to be close to him. Only, now she might eventually have a chance to try, and tha thought made her feel guilty for even considering it.
Umoja paused for a moment, almost as if the words were growing stale between the two of them. It was within that moment that the male laughed. It wasn't a very hearty laugh, but it wasn't a small chuckle, either. It was one full of tension, but also of relief.
After he had caught his breathe, he explained himself. "It's comforting to know that some are loyal. Then there are some like Haja, who live only for the gossip of the moment." After a deep sigh, one with hints of content at the edges, he raised his eyes to look at her again.
"While everyone would understand my sadness, there would be a bit of doubt as well. How can you have full faith in a leader that takes moons to heal? I should be ready at any moment in case something happens again." His words were serious, but there was no hint of pain. It was something he had to face, and only from hearing it with his own voice. "It's a curse within the blessing of being a leader."
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:56 am
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She didn't know whether to smile or frown at the laugh that escaped him, her mouth choosing instead to press into a thin line. It was strange, not to know how to comfort him, but then, who really did when he hid it all away? It was at least something to know that he had spoken to her, her of all the lions in the pride. Maybe if she could earn his trust, jut a little more, maybe he'd see her as more than just a helpful paw..
Her thoughts trailed off, her eyes blinking a few times as if to get rid of the last remnants of them. There was really no need for that right now. What selfish, silly little thoughts. She couldn't help it though, not when she was sitting here with him, listening to such personal things. "I don't think Haja can help it at times," she said softly, a weak smile on her mug, "she does try to do the right thing at times." But everyone knew that 'at times' wasn't nearly often enough.
"I couldn't imagine what it would be like," she said, scrubbing one paw against the earth, "everything about your life must be so public." She frowned at this thought, her heart aching to give him some small bit of comfort. Instead, she simply pushed herself up to her feet and offered him a smile. There was still some meat left on the carcass, and she had a duty to feed others. "I suppose so long as I already know, you might as well use me if you ever feel like talking." She ended it with a smile, though it was sad, in a way.
A wince grew on his face, and as he exhaled through his teeth, it created a sort of stressed, harsh hissing sound. "Oh, please don't imagine it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm only blessed by the winds that carry our Bonded that my children are still oblivious to it all." He shook his head. "I'm sure they will be up to the challenge though."
His tail thumped the ground as he let his eyes wander, feeling a little pained for a moment as his mind wandered from the children to what Lamkana said. It was uncomfortable to hear, even if she had the best of intentions in what she said. "I will not use you. You're not here to be used." His eyes lingered to the ground in front of his paws. "Though if I just need an ear...." his voice lingered off as he peeked at Mfalme, who was rightly ignoring him. Umoja felt like a spoiled brat crying about nothing at all, like when he was a cub. It was an odd feeling.
Lamkana frowned at his reaction, almost wishing she could reach out and shake him just to knock some sense into his head. She wasn't offering herself to be used, she was offering herself because she wanted to. She supposed grief must warp one's mind terribly, if that's the sort of thinking that came of it.
"That's not what I meant," she said lowly, staring down at her paws. "I honestly wouldn't mind listening to what you had to say, just like I don't mind now. It's not like you're using me, or would be, but it's me offering help. Maybe all you really need to help heal faster is someone to talk to." She glanced back up at him, offering a weak smile once more. "Maybe that's what your problem has been all along. You have to be so strong, show nothing, but that means you can't tell anyone. Just one other soul might be a little to help."
It was becoming uncomfortable, this conversation, and she immediately dropped her eyes back to the carcass. She could hear Kota rustling behind her, making a great deal of 'waking up'. No doubt he wanted to leave by now himself.
Mfalme was immensely disappointed in how Umoja was interacting with Lamkana. He was obviously all right with small chatter, but when anything attempted to get any deeper, he reverted into a complete idiot. There was more damage there than Mfalme had realized. It seemed that the eagle hadn't been able to crack the surface, but the lioness had. And there was an immense void that perhaps neither one had realized was so deep.
The eagle took notes, as he was going to speak with Umoja later about this situation.
The lion's head drooped, feeling like a cub who had just been chided by an elder. He didn't know what to say, so he remained silent on the matter, his eyes searching the ground below as if it would tell him what to do.
"I will think on it, Lamkana," he said softly. "There is too much to think on at the moment." His eyes lifted to chance a look at her, only seeing that she returned her focus on the corpse that still needed to fill another or so. His head turned to see the forms still in the horizon, reminded of their presence.
All Mfalme saw was the hole sealing itself up again, albeit messily. The eagle tensed as he noted this, worried for his Bonded.
She could see him slipping, even with how little she knew him. She could see him going back to that lion he had been when she first walked up with her meal in tow. It saddened her to think that she had only provided some sort of temporary relief, but she supposed she couldn't stay, and there was no way that she could actually help him in the long run from what it seemed like.
"I'm sure you can find me if you decide that you do need someone," she said with her most convincing smile, though it was sad deep down. She offered him a slight nod then, reaching down to grip the meal in her jaws once more. With one last glance, she began to drag the carcass away, in the direction of the pridemembers in the distance. She watched him for some time, then let her eyes drop, feeling it was growing uncomfortable.
She didn't know how to help, but then, was it really her place? She supposed if he needed her, he would find her.
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