JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE!! (come here if u wanna get laugh)

[Mr_yOsong sAGing]

RULES ARE SIMPLE think any kind of joke that is funny to make other smile/laugh and it must be a clean joke >_______> wink

 

[xThe Jessterx]

what do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?



A piece of a** that will bring a tear to your eye.  

[Mr_yOsong sAGing]

Dad: Son, what do you want for your 18th birthday?
Son: Just a radio, dad... With a sports car around it.

2
What has four legs, whiskers, a tail and flies?
A dead cat.

3
Fred: My girlfriend loves nature.
Dave: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.

4
My pet dog is a doberman pincher. All day he goes around pinching dobermans.



5
Sally: I've lost my dog.
Allie: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Sally: That wouldn't help. My dog can't read  

[Mr_yOsong sAGing]

why superman is not yet circumsized??

bcuz he ish the man of steal wink  

[darkone5656]

One day a man desided to get a job at a candy store,
The mananger hired him because he was trully desprate,
now he really wishes he didn't and here's why.

On the man's first day he was the only one working,
so a kid walks in an asks, "Sir, how much are the lolly pops?"
The man says, "I don't know"
So the kid leaves and the manager comes up to the man and says, "No! your supost to say 25 cents."
So then he leaves,
another kid walks in and asks the man, "Sir, how much are the lolly pops?"
The man says, "25 cents."
The kid asks the man, "Are they fresh?"
and the man says "I don't know"
so the kid leaves
the manager comes back and says, "No! your supost to say, yes yes very fresh!" The manager leaves again.
So another kid comes in and asks, "How much are the lolly pops"
"25 cents!"
"are they fresh?"
"Yes, yes very fresh!"
and finally the kid asks, "Should I buy one?"
and the man says, "I don't know."
The manger comes in again, "NO NO NO! your supost to say YES BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOSE!"
So the manager leaves and a robber comes in!
The robber says, "Give me all your money!"
so the man says, "25 cents!"
The robber asks, "Are you freshening me?"
so the man says, "Yes yes very fresh!"
finally the robber asks, "Should I kill you?"
and the man says, "YES YES BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOSE!" blaugh
rofl
you have to admit that was pretty funny!  

[Kira Namikaze]

Jesus and God are having a tal about where to go on holiday too.
Jesus:" So where are we going?"
God:" I haven't decided yet..."
Jesus:" Oh okay.... Say what about the moon?"
God:" No thank you. The moon has no Atmosphere."
Jesus:"Just a thought!"
God:"we need something fresh... I know! EARTH!!"
Jesus:" Please no. I visited them 2000 years ago and they are still talking about it..."


(You may not get this but its a wordplay joke...)  

[xThe Jessterx]

A man was walking out of an antique shop carrying a grandfather clock. Then a drunk bumps into him, the clock falls and breaks into pieces.
The man carrying the clock yells, "Why don't you watch where you're going?"
The drunk looks at him and says, "Why don't you wear a wristwatch like everybody else?"  

[Plaid 2 the Bone]

So the Pope is in town to give a big sermon.
At the airport he meets his chauffeur.
He asks the driver if he could please drive the limo.
The driver says, "no, no I could lose my job."
The Pope pleads, "Please, they don't let me do anything, I just want to have a little fun."
After they go back and forth a wile, the driver gives in.
The driver gets in back and the Pope takes his position behind the wheel.
All goes well, untill they hit the free way.
It's not long before sirens whaling, and a cops tagged them.
The Pope pulls over.
The traffic warden taps on the window, "lisons and registration, please."
The Pope rolls down the window, and with a look of shock the cop returns to his squad car.
The cops partner looks at him and says; "Geez Phil, you look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong?"
The cop simply states: "I don't think I can give this guy a ticket."
His partner asks "why not?"
"He''s important" is all the cop can muster.
"How important? Like a Senator?"
"Bigger"
"The President" The partner chuckles
"Bigger" the cop repeats.
"who's bigger then the President?"
"I think he's God" says the cop.
"aww, what makes you think a silly thing like that?" the partner asks.
"He's got the friggin' Pope for a Chafferer!"
 

[Czechmark]

This one is simple and sweet~

A man walks into a bar.
"OUCH!"  

[Czechmark]

A blonde joke, beware! x3

A blonde woman decides to dye her hair brunette. One day as she's strolling around in the country, she sees a farmer and his sheep. She goes up to him and asks, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, may I have one?"
"Sure," He replies.
She quickly computed how many there were.
"375," she says certainly.
"You got it!" Says the farmer.
The woman went and picked out a cute black and white sheep. Then the farmer turns to her and says, "Now, if I guess your true hair color, will you give me back my dog?" x3

If you don't get it, read it over and over until you do. xD  

[emo_vampire001]

What kind of building has the most stories in the whole world?

A Library!! rofl  

[Plaid 2 the Bone]

My blond friend just txt me; she wants to know what "idk" means, so I txt her back, "I Don't Know", she just returned my txt and said "wierd, no one else knows either"
 

[ArcticWolf - Kiba]

Plaid 2 the Bone

My blond friend just txt me; she wants to know what "idk" means, so I txt her back, "I Don't Know", she just returned my txt and said "wierd, no one else knows either"

LOLOL

 

[Plaid 2 the Bone]

Pop quiz,
your riding a horse at full speed...
there's a giraffe in front of you, and
your being chased by a lion, what do you do?
What do you do?

...

...

...

Get yer drunk arse off the carousel!
 

[emo_vampire001]

WAT DO U GET WHEN U CROSS EMOTIONAL STUFF WITH EDWARD FROM TWILIGHT?






ME! rofl