I go on gaia when I feel lonely, which is a lot..

[DivisionDay]

I cant help but feel lonely most of the time I am at home, I don't like my family really..I mean, I do love them, but I don't like them...I hope you get what I mean.

The problem is, that I have made a couple of really close friends on gaia, and I get jelous of the people that they care about more than me (on and off gaia...) I don't think this is exactly normal, but I don't care whats normal. I want to know how to stop feeling this way, because feeling like this makes me feel crappy. I still want to be friends with them, and I still want to be close, but I cant seem to not be jelous...

Edit
I do have friends irl, but we don't do much. I get lonely just sitting around the house and that is when I come on gaia. I don't exactly like all of my friends irl that much, I only like a couple of them.  

[Baskets]

ah i kinda came on gaia to be with my friend but then we are kinda rock an im not close i kinda go on gais to meet new pppl because no ever invtie me to do things i would just try to find ppl who like you like on myspace and stuff or get a penpall or sumthing  

[XxEchidnaxX]

I'm kind of glad I decided to read this thread. I think I can help. I have had a very lonely life from early on. Although I have an older brother we were raised in different homes. My life with my mother was one of chaos, moving a record of 12 times in a school year. Yes, twelve different schools as well. As you can imagine that kind of life doesn't leave much opportunity to make connections with people. The people I did befriend were usually the children of my mothers friends. And seeing as we were just kind of thrust upon each other, in most cases less then ideal circumstances the friendships did not withstand the test of time.

From 9-12 I lived with my dad. There I lived in one home, yes, but faced many other challenges in terms of normal socialization. A terrible home life for one. And deep shame regarding it. The result was a scattering of empty friendships and a tendency to keep my self mostly withdrawn from people.

I went back to my moms at 12, and the trouble really began. All the trauma I'd suffered throughout my childhood surfaced. And I was sunk into a deep dark depression. A depression that completely disabled me socially. By the end of grade 7 I had started skipping school, and thus started my eventual almost total seclusion.

8-10th grade I kept to my self almost exclusively. I literally hid in my room, with blankets stapled over the window, and a black light and/or orange Halloween lights, and that was IT. I listened to music, sometimes I would draw, I wrote. I avoided people I knew. Even my cousin, who made some pretty strong attempts to drag me out of my hole. My only social venture was online, where I learned that I could have a kind of social life, a kind of social life I'd eventually become dependent on.

This continued until I moved to Kansas at 17. Where I stayed in another form of seclusion for two and a half years....

When I came home the friends I did have were gone. And once again, I was alone. I didn't connect with anyone I worked with, I made no attempts at real physical friendship. What I did however was find a kind of friendship online again...By this time I recognized the dangers in becoming consumed. But I was desperately lonely, and I wasn't even sure I remembered HOW to make friends...I got sucked into all kinds of strange things if only for the purpose of having a human interaction with another person. None of it was healthy, and it left me depressed all the more and living almost obsessively online.

It's sad to admit now my savior from what I considered a slow death is a girl I can' even call friend anymore. But in truth...That's all that I needed. I wanted to leave it behind. But I couldn't bare face lonely reality...When online I had so many friends...But when I had one in reality, it wasn't so terrible...

I suggest, if you can, make a friend irl. It may not break you of your online thing. But it will help. An easy way to make friends is to find something that you like, a hobby, and go to a class for it outside of school or work. Then at least you know you have something in common. I bought a dog. They are great conversation starters, and he let me relax some of my social anxiety because I was focused on my dog.

It's not something you can't escape...But it's hard getting back out there. Now I have a lot to live for. I have my mate, a daughter, I can't hide...Sometimes I want to. No doubt. But I can't. I have responsibility..But a responsibility I care enough about to be attentive to.


 

[DemonicTruths]

Since you have friends in rl, try hanging out with them during the weekends. Ask them to go to your house, or maybe ya'll can chill at the mall or something.

I do know how you feel though. I'm actually like that too. My friends say that it's because I'm territorial. [Possessive.] I really don't know how to help you with this problem since I have it too. lol. I don't know if you're friends with the other people you're friends are friends with, but you can try befriending them. That way ya'll can hang out together and maybe things will be not as bad. If ya'll do that, you wouldn't be lonely. ^^

 

[cabbage_patch_doll_xoxo]

Seems to me like your suffereing from anxiety do you always have a tendecy to fear of loosing someone you love?
Do you beging to feel nervouse and breath faster when things do not turn out how you expect them to turn out.
Maybe you should see a doc and try to find out if clonopin and zoloft can help with your mood swings.Your not feeling lonely,sorry but you are depressed and so am I all I want to do is stay online and do nothing in my life because I feel as if no one will accept me or love me and I get angry very fast so I seclude myself from the world and create a fantasy life here on gaia