|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:17 pm
He let out an irritable sigh and settled himself down to sit beneath the tree he had found for a bit of shelter from the sun. He had failed to take down the prey beast he had been hunting because of a clouded mind, as he had been often doing. Some chalked it up to poor skill, coming back so often with empty paws, but he knew that if he could just put this all behind him-
"What a useless thought," he muttered, cutting himself off. He knew he couldn't put this behind him, not so soon after he had committed the crime. Ally was hurt, he was hurt, and it was all of his own device. He still believed, despite all the new evidence, that it was mostly done with a wise choice. He couldn't turn back now and undo everything he had done because he was selfish and miserable, because he wanted her back, because he was hurt. She probably wouldn't even take him back, he figured. Thus, he just settled down beneath his tree, trying to put off another inevitable return to the pride to show his lack of success.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:44 pm
But they didn't survive, they were not around and he had made his choice. It was useless thinking of them and it only made the whole thing harder to deal with. Love, surely the Great Lion understood.. but perhaps not, he abandoned those males who chose to mate lower than their class after all..
His worries about himself were second on his mind, though, when he thought about Alcmene. He had not spoken to her personally since before the decision was made, he had avoided her eyes when on official business.. but he still watched her, looked out for her. And something was wrong, it was painfully obvious. He hadn't even realized what the problem was until Thoth had presented his concerns, almost scolding him for talking to his daughter in the process, but alerting him to the problem. He'd felt pretty dumb for not noticing that Fafnir was never around, but he'd been so self-absorbed lately it wasn't surprising. He had to do something to get his mind off his selfish feelings and to do something that was for the better.. he needed to talk to Fafnir. He tried going through scenarios in his mind, including Fafnir not actually loving Alcmene.. but that was no excuse. Everybody needed their friends, especially her..
Now that he'd finally found Fafnir, though, he was having trouble actually walking up and saying anything. He stood nearby, watching as Fafnir settled in by a tree. He thought of Ally and finally got the nerve to walk up, he had to do it. For her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:03 pm
Fafnir hadn't even noticed the former king standing there at first, so lost was he in his own typical brooding. He had to make for a pitiful character, always moping and sulking, curled up somewhere by himself and secluded from the pride. In a moment of amusement, he supposed he was not much different now than he had been on that day that Ally had first found him curled up by himself because Loki had left. Of course, that moment was fleeting and the wrenching feeling in his gut returned stronger than before, especially at having to remember such a fond memory of her.
He sighed irritably with himself and picked his head off his paws, about to adjust how he was laying, when his pale eyes found the form of the older male. His whole body froze with that remembered fear of the royal lion, before his mind caught up and told him that he was, in fact, no longer king. It served well enough to let him regain some measure of function in his limbs and he pushed himself up into a sitting position. However, even if he was no longer king, he was still Ally's father, and to have him standing so deliberately in front of him could not bode well for Fafnir.
"Uh," he began unintelligibly, then cleared his throat and furrowed his brows at the male before him before he attempted speech again, "hello, Unyezi, sir?" The last bit was a little awkward, given their current status differences, but he was having trouble putting the male in a status below him in his mind when he had been king as long as Fafnir had been alive.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:13 pm
Unyezi did not hear 'sir' anymore, but the fact Fafnir still felt inclined to say it made him feel more confident. There may be an actual class difference, but there was still something there.. he obviously wasn't just going to tell him he was speaking out of his place and to go away, that was encouraging. Besides, this would be a lot easier if he could just pretend he was able to speak freely, to be bossy again.. he'd have to find a balance between his old ways and his new, still developing ways. So for starters, he decided to let the sir go without correction.
"Fafnir," he greeted, and hesitated from there as he tried to figure out the best way to approach this. He had been such a good speaker before, there was such conflict now. He needed his confidence back, and the only way to do that was to think of Ally.
"I haven't seen you with Alcmene lately," he said finally, going the roundabout way at the topic rather than directly at him. Fafnir didn't know Unyezi knew what happened, word about this might not be traveling widely around the pride but some still felt it important enough to get back to him. Besides, it was important to hear his side of it.
"What's going on?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:25 pm
Fafnir knew that this didn't bode well for him, especially not if Unyezi had come to seek him out. He also knew he could avoid this altogether, given the other male's new ranking, but there was something left in Fafnir that just wouldn't let him be rude enough to tell him off. He felt inclined to be polite, he felt inclined to oblige him, and he knew that it would be his own fault if he let those things corner him into a conversation he didn't want to have - but what was he to do?
And then there it was.
There was nothing to ease him into it, nothing to cushion the blow, no meaningless chatter or silly formalities. No, Unyezi just went straight to the point and dropped the figurative bomb. He tensed as soon as that name passed the lips of the male, almost as if he was expecting a blow. His gaze faltered away from the former king, first to fall to his paws, then quickly flitted away again to look to his right and out at the lands that stretched before him. It was a long time before he finally found the courage to begin forming any semblance of an answer.
"I, I decided that it would be best for her if I wasn't around," he managed, swallowing hard and refusing to meet Yezi's eyes. He tightened his jaw for a moment, silent for another few spans. "After the whole ordeal, I just don't think she needs any trouble from anyone over being friends with me."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:33 pm
Unyezi could see Fafnir tense when he spoke of Ally, immediately pushing his mind to the comforting suspicions he had had before abandoning his job but.. he couldn't see it just because he wanted to see it now, he would not be helping by forcing it. He wanted to hurt Fafnir for hurting his daughter, hypocritical though it would be. Love was complicated, he hoped that was what was the problem here.
"What trouble would being your friend bring?" he asked, "I know all the trouble you two got into as cubs but that's not common knowledge or likely to happen again. You've smartened up, haven't you?" He tilted his head, trying to seem conversation and understanding but it wouldn't work. He couldn't get the protective father look off his face or the thought out of his mind.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:56 pm
He chanced a glance up at Yezi's face, though regretted it the instant his eyes saw that look. He might not be the king still, but the look of a protective father could set Fafnir squirming just as much now as it did back when he had been helping Ally get into all sorts of trouble. He didn't even need the power of the king position to back it now.
"Well," he began, but paused as he realized that the object of his paranoia and reason for leaving Ally was standing right in front of him. How did he tell her father this without sounding accusing? "Well, it was just after you stepped down to be with Nerit," he said, shaking his head, "what would it look like for Ally to be seen hanging around with a lower ranking male?" His jaw tightened and he dropped his eyes again. "She was dealing with enough without having to squash rumors of unworthy suitors."
That thought was painful, mostly because he knew he would have wanted so much more than rumors, and that at any day now he might hear rumors of other suitors. How would he deal with the knowledge when it came?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 10:07 pm
So, Fafnir had be considering exactly what Unyezi himself had thought about. That was encouraging, at least a little bit. He could see the pain in Fafnir, though. If they were just friends, he wouldn't worry about the rumors, it would be easier to convince others he wasn't a suitor if it were actually true. However, if that was so distressing then there much be a reason it would be so hard to deny. Now very certain of himself, Unyezi couldn't stop a small smile from reaching his lips. He was just being silly.
"You wouldn't be worried about it if you could truthfully deny it," he said, voicing his conclusion, "What would make you an unworthy suitor?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 10:18 pm
He looked up sharply at the older male as he spoke, his tail twitching behind him as he heard his words. Oh, he might have dared to dream, but Ally had never given him any hint that they were anything but friends. She was hurt that he had abandoned her to the wolves, left her to do this all on her own, but that was because he was her best friend. He hurt because he had lost a best friend, and someone he realized he loved. Just as well that he had never told her, so that she never had a chance to feel that heart-wrenching pain if it, on the smallest chance, woke up some kind of buried feelings for him.
Those were silly hopes, or had been. Even thinking of it now made him feel stupid.
"Maybe I couldn't truthfully deny it, my intentions, but that just makes it worse. She needs a friend, not someone who's getting their feelings muddled." His jaw tightened and he shook his head, sending his mane flying. "Do you really want me to answer that?" He might have laughed at such a ridiculous question if he could have summoned that sort of mirth at all. "I'm a lower class than she is for one thing, and I'm a coward without even the foggiest idea of what I'd do with a pride if she seriously considered me." He sighed and looked up at the sky, as if the noon day might not hide the moon so well. "She deserves better than that."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 10:33 pm
He listened to Fafnir, relieved to hear the admission that he felt that way, or felt something in that direction. It made the situation that much more sad but also gave it more hope for a happy ending. Unfortunately, he'd had a lot of experience abandoning the lioness he loved, too much experience in it. It was a sad thing to be able to advise another upon. He couldn't say for sure what Alcmene was feeling, but he saw something deeper than just the loss of a friend. You moved faster onto being angry when it was a friend, you yelled at them, said mean things.. of course, Alcmene lost more than just her best friend recently, and that was Unyezi's fault.
"Do you love her?" he asked when Fafnir was done confessing what he felt. He wasted no time, he didn't want to lose momentum in the conversation, to give Fafnir time to decide it was time to back down and stop talking. Even if he tried, Unyezi wasn't going to give him that chance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 10:40 pm
"What?" he said, loudly and in a rather shocked manner. That was a question he never thought he'd hear from Unyezi's maw, not because of his position now, but because of his position as Ally's father. Weren't fathers supposed to keep males away from their daughters? He turned his face away from him, furrowing his brows as he looked down at the ground, trying to find the courage to just say what he wouldn't admit to anyone.
"Yes," he said finally, quietly, with more emotion than he meant to. It hurt to admit it, and that hurt was laced in that single word. "That's why I let her go, because I didn't want to put her through any of that," but he knew, too, that he had run away from the things that would come from loving her. It had taken his stupid brother to make him see it, but whatever reason he had done it for, it was done. "What does it matter now?" He shook his head, turning solemn eyes back onto his former king.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 10:50 pm
"Yes or no, not what," Unyezi said very seriously when Fafnir looked rather shocked about it. He didn't care what Fafnir seemed to be thinking about all of this, he might have been acting selfishly and used this idea as one of his many excuses to do so but now it was clearly in Alcmene's best interest to figure it out. He was acting in her best interest, investigating the situation so he knew what was going on. He could not interfere much more than this, his interference would be easier knowing exactly what the situation was and this was the best way to find out. Fafnir was so much easier to demand information from than Alcmene would be.
"Love always matters," he said, his eyes meeting Fafnir's when finally the boy looked him in eyes, "Whatever you're telling yourself to get you through this, none of it will matter if you truly love her. Take it from someone who knows, you never forget the one you love. Your rank comes second to your feelings, to her feelings. She loses nothing by following her heart but hasn't been able to pick up anything she's lost since you've ignored yours. Does that matter to you?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 11:01 pm
"Of course it matters," he whispered, even as he tried to grasp the enormity of Unyezi's little speech. King or no, he had been raised for this, and no sudden change in rank was going to change his ability to entice feelings like this in others, to make them see clearly through the clouds in their own minds.
It was with a sting of pain that he realized that Unyezi was right. In the end, Ally didn't lose anything, not like her father - simple luck of the gender draw. It was then, too, that he realized that Unyezi was giving him advice not as a king, but as someone who had spurned their own feelings in favor of what was right. Fafnir stared long and hard at the now slave, feeling his mind warring with his heart, his emotions in a whirlwind. Unyezi had followed his heart and had sacrificed more than Fafnir could ever dream of. It made Fafnir look selfish.
"Yes, it matters," he said more firmly, dropping his gaze to look down at his paws. He felt an overwhelming sense of shame and riding on the tail of that, a painful jab of sorrow. He'd been wallowing in his misery from the moment she walked away, and it took the last lion he ever imagined to show him that this would be his life if he didn't fix what he'd done. Only, he wasn't even sure if this was a repairable damage at this point.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 11:10 pm
Unyezi's ears moved forward when Fafnir whispered. He didn't need to hear him to know what his response was, the way he looked said a great deal. The former king softened when Fafnir finally spoke up with more certainty, though looking much more pained when it came out. He took a deep breath, sighing shortly. It was an overwhelming feeling to work so hard in such an uncertain area and to succeed was a relief, to know that while they were in an unfortunate situation, they were not stuck in it.
"Now you've figured it out," he said, now smiling, "You'd better go fix it."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 11:16 pm
The fact of the matter was that fixing it was easier said than done. He could apologize to Ally, sure, but he didn't think that was going to be enough by a long shot. He had done something really stupid, no matter what his intentions were, and he'd hurt her. He didn't need anyone telling him how miserable she looked to know that she was hurt. He saw it in her eyes when she walked away from him that night.
"Right," he said with a deep sigh, his brows furrowing as he tried to process what to do next. His gaze shifted back up to Unyezi for a moment, lingering just a little while. "Thank you," he said with a small nod, though he realized well that this situation was more than awkward. His jaw tightened a moment, a reflexive action he seemed to be developing from discomfort, and then he simply nodded and turned to walk away.
He didn't know what to do next, but at least he was on a path to somewhere.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
