Furries and Relationships (long discussion)

[Mintea Drops]

I wanted to discuss the mechanics of relationships in the furry world, just because I like to see how everybody else sees this. Relationships being from friendships to dating to pets. I really want to know what you all think about this!


So I know plenty of furries in my life, a few monogamous types (Far and few between), and a lot that are polygamists. ('master and pet' relationships usually.)

Now I understand the whole furry thing of 'identifying with an animal' (obviously) but does that mean we should all be in a relationship with one person and 'owning' another?

What does it mean to be a pet?
Generally in furry terms this means that you submit to your master and follow their every whim, sexual and otherwise. But why submit yourself to that? I am a very submissive person myself, but I find the whole idea of sharing someone I love with someone else, and only being a 'pet' demeaning.

I think the idea of dating other people is fine when all parties agree, whatever it is your choice in the end to get yourself involved in that. However, I've seen some pets get severely emotionally damaged through this process because they wanted a monogamous relationship with someone who only considered them a pet. This was a one way relationship, and not completely fair to the pet.

And then there comes the internet relationship side of this all. Are a lot of us really that socially inept that we cannot find relationships outside of the internet? Or is it just the fear of fursecution. I don't believe that. I have cosplayed in public for goodness sake, and never had any issues with that. I get a few stares yeah, but no outright U FREAK GET OUT!!!111! And when I say public, I mean in a mall with lots and lots of people. I think if we all started being more open with our furrydom, and stopped thinking oh no why does everybody hate us we would make friends easier.

It is my belief that fursecution is actually OUR fault as furries. We are the ones who let ourselves be victimized, who get riled up whenever someone says 'furfag' over the internet. Why do we care so much? It is the internet, srs bizness after all. I know it doesn't bother me what some 12 year old boy getting on mommy's laptop thinks about me. We all need to get over our insecurities and let it go.

I've come to terms with my furrydom, I have no need for other people's approval. I am who I am and that is all that I will ever be. I can't please the masses. I might as well be me, and have some real friends along the way. People who won't judge me for being who I am. Cause if you are afraid to tell your non furry friends that you are a furry, then you need to rethink who your friends are and if they really would be that judgemental.

Discuss please, any good points made I will add to the post!

Addendums:
I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MASTER/SLAVE D:
This post is about relationships in general, not just sexual.
I am a VERY shy person but I believe that the best friend you make are the ones that know and accept everything about you.
I am a bisexual

 

[Selene Aries]

The whole master/pet, sub/dom, relationship has nothing to do with this fandom. It has been around a lot longer than Furry and can be found being practiced outside fandom.

I do not have the time to go into full details right now, because I have to leave for work soon, but there are numerous reasons why people get into those kinds of relationships. I mean, honestly, we are all a bit mentally disturbed on one level or another, so taking that stance for why individuals submit to being another person's play thing is a bit of a cop-out, an ignorant statement from someone that does not understand the underling principles of the sub-culture. Kind of like when people call homosexuals disturbed, or hell even us furries.

For a lot of people it is just good clean fun. Certainly, yes, it is tied into one's sexual kinks and is part of the world of BDSM, but a person acting out their sexual desires and fantasies does not make them a disturbed individual. Unless, you know, they are actually harming another person that has not given their consent.

Having been a part of that world I know you will hear many explanations to why one would submit themselves to another person's will, for some it is simply a sexual thrill, sometimes having a humiliation fetish, for others it is a matter of feeling secure and looked after, other still I have met that desired to be in a relationship but the other person doesn't really have romantic feeling, yet does care for the individual. I have met a few, yes, where it is a way to have sex with others while still having a more serious relationship with a single individual, but I cannot see any harm in this. Honestly, I do not know the big deal about having sex with multiple people in the first place.

Crap, out of time.  

[Mintea Drops]

Diana Aries

The whole master/pet, sub/dom, relationship has nothing to do with this fandom. It has been around a lot longer than Furry and can be found being practiced outside fandom.

I do not have the time to go into full details right now, because I have to leave for work soon, but there are numerous reasons why people get into those kinds of relationships. I mean, honestly, we are all a bit mentally disturbed on one level or another, so taking that stance for why individuals submit to being another person's play thing is a bit of a cop-out, an ignorant statement from someone that does not understand the underling principles of the sub-culture. Kind of like when people call homosexuals disturbed, or hell even us furries.

For a lot of people it is just good clean fun. Certainly, yes, it is tied into one's sexual kinks and is part of the world of BDSM, but a person acting out their sexual desires and fantasies does not make them a disturbed individual. Unless, you know, they are actually harming another person that has not given their consent.

Having been a part of that world I know you will hear many explanations to why one would submit themselves to another person's will, for some it is simply a sexual thrill, sometimes having a humiliation fetish, for others it is a matter of feeling secure and looked after, other still I have met that desired to be in a relationship but the other person doesn't really have romantic feeling, yet does care for the individual. I have met a few, yes, where it is a way to have sex with others while still having a more serious relationship with a single individual, but I cannot see any harm in this. Honestly, I do not know the big deal about having sex with multiple people in the first place.

Crap, out of time.

1. I understand that the master pet fetish has been around ling before furryism. But you have to admit that it is VERY prominent amongst furry fandom.

2. I also get that we are all a bit wacky. I also understand getting into a master pet relationship, but getting into a serious relationship with someone, but having a pet on the side is something I will never understand. How can you claim to be serious with someone, but keep another person as a pet? And what happens when that pet wants to become serious? Does this not seem to pose a problem for you?

3. I don't see how saying I don't particularly agree with these type of relationships is an ignorant statement. Me not agreeing with something doesn't make me ignorant, it makes me human.

4. I have no comment on the 'good clean fun' statement.

5. I think having sex with multiple people is fine and dandy, yes. I just said all parties need to be in agreement as to what is going on. I mean if one person wants more, and you aren't willing to give more, why string them along?

 

[Isaol-the-wolf]

Woah, I had no idea that stuff was popular among us. Until this morning when I found someone's new topic. I'm not going so say whose it was. Still I have never run into any of that, maybe you have bad luck and run into that stuff all the time. I don't care if anyone calls me a "furfag."
I respond with, "sho' am."  

[Mintea Drops]

Isaol-the-wolf

Woah, I had no idea that stuff was popular among us. Until this morning when I found someone's new topic. I'm not going so say whose it was. Still I have never run into any of that, maybe you have bad luck and run into that stuff all the time. I don't care if anyone calls me a "furfag."
I respond with, "sho' am."

Almost everyone I know in the fandom is into master pet relationships. Excluding a very close group of us, which is me, my friend Leo, raverfox and his boyfriend.

Please note I said almost everyone I know, some people know different people in the fandom, I guess just in my area it is very very popular, also on a lot of furry forums it can be very popular

 

[Garek Maxwell]

Mintea Drops

So I know plenty of furries in my life, a few monogamous types (Far and few between), and a lot that are polygamists. ('master and pet' relationships usually.)

I'm entirely monogamous. I don't think I'm really capable of dealing with and being successful in a polygamist relationship. So I'm one of those few it seems... Though personally, I find a very large number of monogamous people.

Mintea Drops

Now I understand the whole furry thing of 'identifying with an animal' (obviously) but does that mean we should all be in a relationship with one person and 'owning' another?

I think the usual saying here goes "to each their own". Some like it, some just like the sexual side of it, others don't care for it, and there's lots of others and inbetweens.

Mintea Drops

Generally in furry terms this means that you submit to your master and follow their every whim, sexual and otherwise. But why submit yourself to that? I am a very submissive person myself, but I find the whole idea of sharing someone I love with someone else, and only being a 'pet' demeaning.

I have a good friend who I often submit to. It's purely sexual good times along with the friendship. I have no desire for something deeper because of a lot of reasons that I won't go into. It's not really a master/slave relationship though... But I can positively say that those who do submit don't see it as demeaning...or they do in a sexual manner.

Also, the view of it being demeaning is subjective. The people in these relationships don't always have intent to entirely demean the other. If it was truly intended to demean and that's it, they would be very cruel to the other person. Making fun, ignoring them, talking down to them... This may sound like the fun they have, but there's a big difference between play and reality. Just like there's a difference between "rape" and rape. Rape leaves you feeling ...well...I really don't know what it leaves you feeling as... I wouldn't know, but I would assume it's not good. Hollow, used, discarded, worthless, filthy, sick, wounded... This is entirely different from "satisfied, enjoyable, fun, etc.." Most people who play "rape" would never -ever- enjoy real rape.

Mintea Drops

However, I've seen some pets get severely emotionally damaged through this process because they wanted a monogamous relationship with someone who only considered them a pet. This was a one way relationship, and not completely fair to the pet.

While you can't always know ahead of time what your emotions and feelings will be for someone, that IS partly the fault of the pet. There should ALWAYS be full disclosure from the start about the situation, desires, boundaries, guidelines, whatever. A sort of verbal contract on what each party is looking for in this. Simply saying "I'm looking for a more serious relationship, but it's up for how things develop and could go either way. I may not find myself becoming interested in a deeper relationship." Things like that should be discussed before hand. Otherwise, they're setting themselves up for this if they know they're prone to these sorts of things. It's a precautionary measure, which is something people take all the time. It's also something people ignore all the time. How many people drive without wearing a seat belt? You would think people would get it by now that if you don't wear it and you get in an accident, you're as good as dead often times. But it still happens. Most you can do is keep reminding them and hope they learn.

I should note that I've had to come up with this on my own based on multiple failed relationships due to a lack of communication from the start on what both parties are looking for. A few relationships just didn't work out, but there were some that ended badly and would have gone better if things were discussed before hand. I'm not an expert, but I am speaking from my experiences. Discussing things first can make all the difference.

Mintea Drops

And then there comes the internet relationship side of this all. Are a lot of us really that socially inept that we cannot find relationships outside of the internet? Or is it just the fear of fursecution. I don't believe that. I have cosplayed in public for goodness sake, and never had any issues with that. I get a few stares yeah, but no outright U FREAK GET OUT!!!111! And when I say public, I mean in a mall with lots and lots of people. I think if we all started being more open with our furrydom, and stopped thinking oh no why does everybody hate us we would make friends easier.

Are shy people really so terrible to you? confused

I USED to be extremely out going. I would talk to people all the time... I wouldn't shut up sometimes either, and that got me in trouble a lot. Now, however, I'm extremely closed up. It happened about around puberty. I shut up, shut down, and ever since around puberty I have been pretty quiet and shy in person while being far more out going online.

This is because of what I feel are two things that helped cause this. The first is that I was home schooled for a little earlier than high school and from then on...maybe only high school, but the important thing is that I was home schooled. Now, this doesn't mean I was entirely shut off from friends. I kept in touch with some friends and I even took classes in a normal classroom as well. (Though towards the end, they made it so you had to either go to school or stay at home, you couldn't do a hybrid style of learning, but this only affected my last year or so. By then I was a TA, and so I still had some social contact.). If I stayed at my old school though, before I got into home schooling, I probably wouldn't be in college now. I try to block out my days in my old school. I don't want to talk much about it, but I would be worse off for sure if I stayed there. Now, this was NOT the end of everything and ushered in my shyness. I want to be sure to emphasize that. It was from something entirely different in my opinion.

I'm gay. Big surprise. But being gay didn't cause me to be shy. Society did that. Fear of persecution, physical harm, disowning, death, and even more. That's what shut me down. That's what made me afraid to talk. "Am I being too girly? Was that gay? Do I look normal? Am I acting normal? Don't say that, it's too weird. Stop letting your wrist go loose. Be normal, damnit. Stop sounding so weird. Why can't you just ******** be normal?! Just shut up, damnit!" ...and those are the nicer things. I became severely depressed and suicidal at times. I still am depressed often. But the worst part of all this? I KNOW I can be different. I know I could have been different... But because of society, I shut down. I'm not the generally happy person I once was. I'm virtually the opposite.

So yeah, I turned to the internet. I was pretty shy there too on social spots. But eventually I got over it. Once finding a few spots that helped make a big difference in my life (AFG being one of them), I became more open and social on the internet. Now I 'have' an outlet. If it weren't for the internet, I probably wouldn't be alive right now. Without it, I never would have found such good and close friends. I would have committed suicide long ago. I'm not exaggerating. I'm being honest. This is what happened to me.

Furriness has nothing to do with my shyness. (I suspect this is the same for a lot of people as well, and not just me.) I would be happy if the only problem in my life was being a furry. I really would... At least I think so. It's hard to know what would make me happy anymore. It's not like I'm not happy, but it's hard to just relax and enjoy life. It really is. I think I think too much... Or negative thoughts won't ever leave me alone. Anyway.

Mintea Drops

It is my belief that fursecution is actually OUR fault as furries. We are the ones who let ourselves be victimized, who get riled up whenever someone says 'furfag' over the internet. Why do we care so much? It is the internet, srs bizness after all. I know it doesn't bother me what some 12 year old boy getting on mommy's laptop thinks about me. We all need to get over our insecurities and let it go.

I find it easier to ignore and move away from those types. The more I close myself off from the world, the happier I could potentially be at that point in time. However, "f**" and "furfag" is very insulting and shouldn't be tolerated. It's not because of the furry part of it. It's because it's a heterosexist slur. It attacks homosexuals more than furries because it promotes the idea that homosexuals are bad people or some such thing. Those who use it are no better than racists, which are quite common even in this day and age.

Mintea Drops

I've come to terms with my furrydom, I have no need for other people's approval. I am who I am and that is all that I will ever be. I can't please the masses. I might as well be me, and have some real friends along the way. People who won't judge me for being who I am. Cause if you are afraid to tell your non furry friends that you are a furry, then you need to rethink who your friends are and if they really would be that judgemental.

I should mention that I can't really can't ignore the masses judging me and my sexuality, given that every time I turn around it's shoved in my face. Prop 8 in California banning same-sex marriage, protests over same-sex marriage, people saying "that's gay" to anything that's bad, controversy on the news over something to do with homosexuality. It's always there, always reminding me of how I'm not welcome, undesirable, worthless, not an equal, and wrong.

It's a wonder I haven't abused alcohol and drugs to escape this all. It seems pretty popular amongst homosexuals. It's no surprise either. Who wouldn't want an escape from this?  

[Psycho Lee]

I like how half of the first post is about furry dating and pets, and the other half is about fursecution. Nice change of subject.

Quote:

Are a lot of us really that socially inept that we cannot find relationships outside of the internet?

Yes. At least I am.

gonk

(or at least, I just have no luck in making friends with females that aren't taken, or would consider being more than just a friend).  

[Isaol-the-wolf]

Because you call them females. xd jk.
I'm tired of getting friends too, usually guys only talking to girls for two reasons.

1. To become her friend
2. To sleep with her (Or go out with her)

Usualy act a different way for each of the two reasons. I always end up becoming friends with her. How can hug and a kiss on the neck be signs of JUST A FRIEND.  

[[-Erik-]]

I disapprove of this "master and pet" game, not only beacuse of what you said about the pet getting all emo for being just the pet but beacuse it makes furries look like horny bastards.

Now, if we talk about polygamy I'd say... "Whatever floats you boat, but if it sinks I wont throw you an inner tube". Why? Beacuse if the girl I love has a pet I'll start thinking she was using me as a pet as well, or that she was just fooling around with me, using me, you know! It doesn't feel nice >:l
Of course, that's me. I think that love can't be shared between more than two people.

If your relatives, friends, whatever don't accept your furrydom then I'd say they don't appreciate you enough. If they really want to be with you or be your friends, I dunno, they MUST accept you for who you are. Like always.

And yes, indeed, it's the furries who make the rest of the furries look bad. I'm glad somebody understands this.

 

[Rainey_angel81]

I think everyone is getting the Master/Slave concept all wrong.  

[Bardic Falanx]

In my honest opinion, being a person who knows a platy-fur (male) in a relationship with two bunny-furs (one male on female) I see their relationship working in a functional matter. Am I saying relationships such as these are purely furry? No, there are other people who practice such a belief, however these people are few and far between.

Personally I don't agree with the concept of sex buddies or the ilk, but that sort of thing has always been the opposite of who I am. To further the point I don't see how one can give all of themself to two people.

If people want to practice those beliefs then it's fine with me, but I wont be shocked when it ends with one getting hurt.  

[Selene Aries]

Frankly, the idea of loving only one person is a foreign concept to me. My family has always been very close and loving and I have always cared very deeply for deeply for my friends, whom are like family to me. I am also very highly protective of both.

As far as sexual partners go, I have never been opposed to the idea of casual sex. When I was a bit younger and a little more naive on the subject, I did indeed believe that if a person is involved in a committed relationship that the one they are with should be their only sexual partner with the only exception being if both are simply inviting others into sexual acts.

Being a bit older now, a little more experienced, wiser and more knowledgeable I have come to realize that sex is just an enjoyable experience that does not need to be weighed down with a lot of excess emotional baggage. For me there is great pleasure in sharing an intimate moment with those I care about and bringing them pleasure in the act.

I have dabbled a bit in the whole mater/pet relationship, trying out both sides, and in the end realize it is just not for me. I have far to much pride to honestly submit to another person, but god do I enjoy play rape, and I am just far too nice to truly treat another I care about as some sort of servant, not in a long term stand point anyway. It is a bit different when one is just playing the role during a sexual encounter, it is another thing to keep up the act all the time.

The only RP relationship I have been able to keep up is treating one another as siblings. Which is fun for me, because I have a bit of complex when it comes to acting as someone's older sibling. Think that might have something to do with that I was always the oldest in my group of friends and thus they looked up to me and even know I tend to befriend those younger than me quite often.

To note, I do have an actual boyfriend, but I also have other lovers that are simply close and intimate friends. Yes, the fact I am like this has bitten me and continues to bite me in the a** when it comes to those getting crushes on me, but I am always very open and honest with all those I am involved with so they know ahead of time I will never leave my boyfriend. Those that try and convince me to be exclusively theirs get booted to the curve and while I do feel bad that they end up getting hurt, it is their fault, not mine.  

[Selene Aries]

Leo Ursus

In my honest opinion, being a person who knows a platy-fur (male) in a relationship with two bunny-furs (one male on female) I see their relationship working in a functional matter. Am I saying relationships such as these are purely furry? No, there are other people who practice such a belief, however these people are few and far between.

Personally I don't agree with the concept of sex buddies or the ilk, but that sort of thing has always been the opposite of who I am. To further the point I don't see how one can give all of themself to two people.

If people want to practice those beliefs then it's fine with me, but I wont be shocked when it ends with one getting hurt.

Honestly I have never believed you can love more than one person the same why and give your all, as you put it, to multiple people. However, that does not mean you cannot love and care for different people in different ways and on different levels. Ultimately, it is a person's choice if they want to devote all their time and attention to just one person in their life, and I do literally mean one person, or divide what time they have to the various people in their life, be they another love or just someone they have a platonic relationship with. I mean, certainly most people still make contact with their friends and family while still being in a committed relationship.  

[Mintea Drops]

Garek Maxwell

Mintea Drops

So I know plenty of furries in my life, a few monogamous types (Far and few between), and a lot that are polygamists. ('master and pet' relationships usually.)

I'm entirely monogamous. I don't think I'm really capable of dealing with and being successful in a polygamist relationship. So I'm one of those few it seems... Though personally, I find a very large number of monogamous people.

Mintea Drops

Now I understand the whole furry thing of 'identifying with an animal' (obviously) but does that mean we should all be in a relationship with one person and 'owning' another?

I think the usual saying here goes "to each their own". Some like it, some just like the sexual side of it, others don't care for it, and there's lots of others and inbetweens.

Mintea Drops

Generally in furry terms this means that you submit to your master and follow their every whim, sexual and otherwise. But why submit yourself to that? I am a very submissive person myself, but I find the whole idea of sharing someone I love with someone else, and only being a 'pet' demeaning.

I have a good friend who I often submit to. It's purely sexual good times along with the friendship. I have no desire for something deeper because of a lot of reasons that I won't go into. It's not really a master/slave relationship though... But I can positively say that those who do submit don't see it as demeaning...or they do in a sexual manner.

Also, the view of it being demeaning is subjective. The people in these relationships don't always have intent to entirely demean the other. If it was truly intended to demean and that's it, they would be very cruel to the other person. Making fun, ignoring them, talking down to them... This may sound like the fun they have, but there's a big difference between play and reality. Just like there's a difference between "rape" and rape. Rape leaves you feeling ...well...I really don't know what it leaves you feeling as... I wouldn't know, but I would assume it's not good. Hollow, used, discarded, worthless, filthy, sick, wounded... This is entirely different from "satisfied, enjoyable, fun, etc.." Most people who play "rape" would never -ever- enjoy real rape.

Mintea Drops

However, I've seen some pets get severely emotionally damaged through this process because they wanted a monogamous relationship with someone who only considered them a pet. This was a one way relationship, and not completely fair to the pet.

While you can't always know ahead of time what your emotions and feelings will be for someone, that IS partly the fault of the pet. There should ALWAYS be full disclosure from the start about the situation, desires, boundaries, guidelines, whatever. A sort of verbal contract on what each party is looking for in this. Simply saying "I'm looking for a more serious relationship, but it's up for how things develop and could go either way. I may not find myself becoming interested in a deeper relationship." Things like that should be discussed before hand. Otherwise, they're setting themselves up for this if they know they're prone to these sorts of things. It's a precautionary measure, which is something people take all the time. It's also something people ignore all the time. How many people drive without wearing a seat belt? You would think people would get it by now that if you don't wear it and you get in an accident, you're as good as dead often times. But it still happens. Most you can do is keep reminding them and hope they learn.

I should note that I've had to come up with this on my own based on multiple failed relationships due to a lack of communication from the start on what both parties are looking for. A few relationships just didn't work out, but there were some that ended badly and would have gone better if things were discussed before hand. I'm not an expert, but I am speaking from my experiences. Discussing things first can make all the difference.

Mintea Drops

And then there comes the internet relationship side of this all. Are a lot of us really that socially inept that we cannot find relationships outside of the internet? Or is it just the fear of fursecution. I don't believe that. I have cosplayed in public for goodness sake, and never had any issues with that. I get a few stares yeah, but no outright U FREAK GET OUT!!!111! And when I say public, I mean in a mall with lots and lots of people. I think if we all started being more open with our furrydom, and stopped thinking oh no why does everybody hate us we would make friends easier.

Are shy people really so terrible to you? confused

I USED to be extremely out going. I would talk to people all the time... I wouldn't shut up sometimes either, and that got me in trouble a lot. Now, however, I'm extremely closed up. It happened about around puberty. I shut up, shut down, and ever since around puberty I have been pretty quiet and shy in person while being far more out going online.

This is because of what I feel are two things that helped cause this. The first is that I was home schooled for a little earlier than high school and from then on...maybe only high school, but the important thing is that I was home schooled. Now, this doesn't mean I was entirely shut off from friends. I kept in touch with some friends and I even took classes in a normal classroom as well. (Though towards the end, they made it so you had to either go to school or stay at home, you couldn't do a hybrid style of learning, but this only affected my last year or so. By then I was a TA, and so I still had some social contact.). If I stayed at my old school though, before I got into home schooling, I probably wouldn't be in college now. I try to block out my days in my old school. I don't want to talk much about it, but I would be worse off for sure if I stayed there. Now, this was NOT the end of everything and ushered in my shyness. I want to be sure to emphasize that. It was from something entirely different in my opinion.

I'm gay. Big surprise. But being gay didn't cause me to be shy. Society did that. Fear of persecution, physical harm, disowning, death, and even more. That's what shut me down. That's what made me afraid to talk. "Am I being too girly? Was that gay? Do I look normal? Am I acting normal? Don't say that, it's too weird. Stop letting your wrist go loose. Be normal, damnit. Stop sounding so weird. Why can't you just ******** be normal?! Just shut up, damnit!" ...and those are the nicer things. I became severely depressed and suicidal at times. I still am depressed often. But the worst part of all this? I KNOW I can be different. I know I could have been different... But because of society, I shut down. I'm not the generally happy person I once was. I'm virtually the opposite.

So yeah, I turned to the internet. I was pretty shy there too on social spots. But eventually I got over it. Once finding a few spots that helped make a big difference in my life (AFG being one of them), I became more open and social on the internet. Now I 'have' an outlet. If it weren't for the internet, I probably wouldn't be alive right now. Without it, I never would have found such good and close friends. I would have committed suicide long ago. I'm not exaggerating. I'm being honest. This is what happened to me.

Furriness has nothing to do with my shyness. (I suspect this is the same for a lot of people as well, and not just me.) I would be happy if the only problem in my life was being a furry. I really would... At least I think so. It's hard to know what would make me happy anymore. It's not like I'm not happy, but it's hard to just relax and enjoy life. It really is. I think I think too much... Or negative thoughts won't ever leave me alone. Anyway.

Mintea Drops

It is my belief that fursecution is actually OUR fault as furries. We are the ones who let ourselves be victimized, who get riled up whenever someone says 'furfag' over the internet. Why do we care so much? It is the internet, srs bizness after all. I know it doesn't bother me what some 12 year old boy getting on mommy's laptop thinks about me. We all need to get over our insecurities and let it go.

I find it easier to ignore and move away from those types. The more I close myself off from the world, the happier I could potentially be at that point in time. However, "f**" and "furfag" is very insulting and shouldn't be tolerated. It's not because of the furry part of it. It's because it's a heterosexist slur. It attacks homosexuals more than furries because it promotes the idea that homosexuals are bad people or some such thing. Those who use it are no better than racists, which are quite common even in this day and age.

Mintea Drops

I've come to terms with my furrydom, I have no need for other people's approval. I am who I am and that is all that I will ever be. I can't please the masses. I might as well be me, and have some real friends along the way. People who won't judge me for being who I am. Cause if you are afraid to tell your non furry friends that you are a furry, then you need to rethink who your friends are and if they really would be that judgemental.

I should mention that I can't really can't ignore the masses judging me and my sexuality, given that every time I turn around it's shoved in my face. Prop 8 in California banning same-sex marriage, protests over same-sex marriage, people saying "that's gay" to anything that's bad, controversy on the news over something to do with homosexuality. It's always there, always reminding me of how I'm not welcome, undesirable, worthless, not an equal, and wrong.

It's a wonder I haven't abused alcohol and drugs to escape this all. It seems pretty popular amongst homosexuals. It's no surprise either. Who wouldn't want an escape from this?

Okay I am not talking about dom/sub relationships in the post. I am speaking only of being in a committed relationship with someone, and then having a pet on the side. I am in fact VERY VERY submissive, and I will submit to a guy if I'm with him, however I am completely monogamous, so I don't understand wanting to be a 'pet' to someone who will never want you the way you want them

I am shy. I never said I wasn't. I actually have a difficult time doing tasks that seem simplistic to most people because of my extreme adversity to human interaction. Just as Leo Ursus, when I order food half the time I will relay what I want to a friend and ask them to order it for me. Extreme anxietal disorders are not fun, but not an excuse to baw about how nobody likes me because I'm -insert undesirable trait here-

I work hard every day to not let my anxiety control me. I'm getting better. I went from being the child who got picked on every day, who wanted to die, who was silent and alone, to an adult who realizes that just because I'm different doesn't mean I need to hide under a rock because it is my 'comfort zone'

Comfort zones prevent growth. Mind you this is coming from someone who attempted suicide as a TWELVE YEAR OLD. I wanted to die that badly. Mind you I'm much better now, not perfect but working on it.

I am bisexual and I say furfag and f**. I see nothing wrong with the terms. They are words. And because we let them hurt us we give them power. If we don't give them power they can't hurt us anymore.

Mind you, NOBODY fits into the 'desirable' person. NOBODY is perfect. EVERYONE has problems, and tons of people feel the way you do. I don't let people who dislike homosexuals get me down. One of my best friends in real life has been gay beaten and he still walks around wearing furry items and dressing in a feminine manner.

 

[Mintea Drops]

KillerLee

I like how half of the first post is about furry dating and pets, and the other half is about fursecution. Nice change of subject.

Quote:

Are a lot of us really that socially inept that we cannot find relationships outside of the internet?

Yes. At least I am.

gonk

(or at least, I just have no luck in making friends with females that aren't taken, or would consider being more than just a friend).

My entire topic was about furry relationships in general, which includes our relationships with the outside world and involves fursecution.