Respect? | Page 1 | Adult Furries Guild | Guild Forums

Huskykins

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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:47 pm

every fight/argument i get in it always ends with you will learn to respect your elders, comeon they all think respect is given not earned but i say diffrent, ive lost my whole family trying to defend this but they just dont get it, it makes me laugh some times but it just mostly makes me mad, i just want to get some diffrent veiws on thins, thanks. twisted
whooops i quess i forgot to include my theory wich is yes respect must be given to be earned but then theres two types of respect, theres the type that when you meet someoneyou give them respect but then theres the type where after knowing someone for a while where youll do anything for them as theyll do anything for you.

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:26 pm

I'd say it's sort of a mix of both. Common courtesy and basic respect shouldn't have to be earned by anyone but should be freely given. But 'respect' in the authoritative 'respect my authority' sort of thing would have to be more earned before I follow someone's word *implicitly*.

This being said it really depends on the situation as well. After all, I can understand and respect that the person speaking to me if they are older has had more years on this earth and more time to gain experience, in this case their words *should* be taken into consideration and not thrown lightly aside or tossed back in their faces. However, they should in turn respect that just because they went through something and see similarities in a situation does not mean that it is the exact same and that you should be free to make your own mistakes as well.

But if we're talking just a matter of something like parents setting rules for their house, then that is to be respected and followed I think. After all, it is their property, they pay for everything and such and once you leave the house and go rent your first appartment or townhouse there will be rules there that you have to follow as well because you are the tennant and they are the landlord and each have certain obligations and rights razz

So it highly depends on the situation. But as I said basic respect and courtesy should be given to all.

Pom Graines

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Manda_Tifa

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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:41 pm

Growing up, I maintained that "Respect has to be earned" mantra against my parents right up until I finally moved out. Now that I'm older, I've come to the realization, that if your parent's (and by extension also your grandparents) are going to go through the pain and financial ordeal of feeding, raising, clothing, and basic providing for you, then yes, they deserve your respect by default.

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:49 pm

I feel that respect is a two way street and it has to be given to be earned. The parents should respect what their children are going through and be understanding. But, likewise the child should be respectful of the parents struggles and past experiences in raising the child. A break down on one side can lead to the break down of both sides of the respect circuit. I don't think that you can gain the respect of your family again until you change your attitudes and behaviors. In all honesty, I see where you are coming from, but I don't sympathize with you. I've been disrespectful to my parents and watched the relationship deteriorate into almost loathing. But, as soon as I resolved to change my way of being, I saw the relationship rekindle and now I'm closer to my family than anyone.

The change has to come from you if change is to occur, that is my belief. Otherwise, I think that the situation is justified. Regardless of whether or not they are disrespectful, things can change if you change.

Karushi El Pinko

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Garek Maxwell

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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 6:46 pm

I think certain ideas surrounding respect are also heavily buried within things I learned about in sociology (which was limited, and I'm not studying to be a sociologist so I can be wrong.), particularly things like the looking glass self that Cooley came up with.

I think respect is often freely given, as you do not violate social norms repeatedly. Some have serious consequences (violations of law) and other social consequences (ostracism). You have to show others some kind of respect to not go up to them, invade their personal space, and sneeze directly on them. Aside from the fact that they may retaliate against you, the only thing really stopping you from doing that is embarrassment.

Now embarrassment I think is an important component of respect, as it provides a general incentive to "behave".

Can norms be a hindrance? Can they be a problem? Of course, and retaliation isn't always the result for violating them. You may start a new trend or find companions that share the same views. It varies quite a bit. However, most people don't violate these social rules that are often unspoken.

In turn, embarrassment usually helps keep a somewhat "respectful" atmosphere. You don't talk over a teacher because you may miss something important, others may be angry with you (along with the teacher), and if you're bad enough you may have formal disciplinary actions taken against you. The social ones could just be having people not like you very much.

There's a lot more too this that I don't remember and probably never studied, but the idea is that you can't purely have it at a "you have to give me respect for me to show you respect" attitude. If you did, you'd never make it in this world. Forget owning a house or anything. If you piss off everyone you come in contact with, you just won't get a job or anything. So you do give respect to others, even if you don't want to.

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:47 pm

Good topic, got some very nice replies so far.

I do agree greatly with Mameoyashi, I believe we should all respect the right to be and exist for all living things. However when it comes to our pears, respect beyond that must be earned.

Even in a job situation I have trouble showing respect to a boss if he cannot earn it by showing that he is qualified for the position and actually knows more about the job than I do. I've run into far too many athority figures who got into positions they neither earned or deserved and when they also have no respect for others as well then there is no chance they'll be getting any from me.

I respet my elders, but I too have spent my share of decades on this planet and as such I expect a certain amount of respect as well. It really is a two way street.

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Ariun_Heart_Breaker

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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:54 pm

I give respect and expect it in return

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:57 pm

Tiloren

However when it comes to our pears, respect beyond that must be earned.

cry Sad Pear is Sad for not gettin' any respect. No respect at all. cry
I think you meant peers, and sorry, but this was too good to pass up. xP

Garek Maxwell

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Elderoth

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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 8:04 pm

Garek Maxwell

cry Sad Pear is Sad for not gettin' any respect. No respect at all. cry
I think you meant peers, and sorry, but this was too good to pass up xP

xd Yes, typo there. rofl Sorry about that. Great reply though. biggrin

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 8:08 pm

Midnight_Husky

every fight/argument i get in it always ends with you will learn to respect your elders, comeon they all think respect is given not earned but i say diffrent, ive lost my whole family trying to defend this but they just dont get it, it makes me laugh some times but it just mostly makes me mad, i just want to get some diffrent veiws on thins, thanks. twisted

Some older people are from a different time (obviously) so they think differently, some old people who were alive during the Sixties are still racist, it's not right but they are.

If they're wrong they're wrong, if they don't like you telling them you are then just sit back and laugh at their ignorance. Your signature is awesome by the way, especially the that sentence in it.