I would look back and remeber what isnt there and how it use to be, I would feel happy and sad at the same time. And when yall are around I laugh but I want to cry. When I think about wat u will say...... I would laugh just so you would see me happy. I just want to say I love and miss him to this very day and will always. I dont want people to no how I feel becuase deep down I feel like hell it's just all very personal. On somedays I want to cry and others I would like to die, but when I think about it, I could never leave before my time. I had so many good times with him and thats what I need to pass on to the little ones in my family to tell them storys about the best dad and man that was in my life, I would give them my memories of him and his good ways like my older sisters did with me when I was little. When I cry at night, I just think of a time when he was here and I was happy. I cry my self to sleep at night thinking of him and wishing I could see his face once again and to see have him in my life today and to see how it would be if he was alive and in my life now to grow up with him around, with a dad who could give me away to my true love (Ryan) as well as the part where the dad tryes to scare him away. That would be the BEST brith day wish for me, but just like everything eles Im gald cuz then I wouldnt have the family and life I have today. YES I would love to see my dad again but not at the risk of having everything diffrent and him back in pain again and them having to lose him again I couldnt do that all over again.
I LOVE AND MISS HIM BUT I NO HE IS WATCHING OVER ME RIGHT NOW........ I LOVE YOU DAD
