Juee's poetry Journal. Feedback is welcomed

[jewel_14]

Um.....Hi everyone ^^;
Juee here. I really love writing poetry and i think im kinda good
but see. I never get feedback when i post it
and if i post in one of the shared ones
im kinda afraid that'll keep happening.
So forgive me if im being selfish and taking a whole subforum for my works and feedback.
><
Hope you enjoy what i share.

 

[jewel_14]

Old Man Winter

Why do you howl old man winter?
Why do your winds blow so hard?
What has angered you old man winter?
And disturbed you in your wintery yard?
Is it because the child of spring is coming?
Is it because your reign is almost done?
Is it because oh mighty lord winter.
In your frozen heart you know she brings with her the sun?
You blow against the house and shake the trees.
The the windows shake, the house moans.
White and silver all the eye sees.
Yet you grow quiet old man winter
As the clock ticks on
Are you giving up old man winter?
Have you finally finished your wintery song?
Are you retiring old man winter?
Will you disappear with the morn?
Shall the skies weep for you old man winter?
As you leave so forlorn?
Or is it old man winter...
You simply wished to show your power in
One.
Last.
Winter.
Storm.

 

[jewel_14]

Your love...

Being in love with you is like a rose
Theres two parts to it as everyone knows
And as i stand here my heart tattered and torn
They see that she got the flower and I got the thorn

 

[jewel_14]

Rain Dancer

The rain pours down on the street
It comes down making a unique beat
It pounds relentlessly on the ground
An unseen drum beating out its sound
Bare feet slap at the wet ground
Spraying water all around
Thunder and lightning over her head
Dancing ever so lightly even with the wet weighing like lead
Her skirt flowing like the rain around her
Droplets flying from her long hair as it whips around her
Little rivers running down her skin and face
A content expression on her face as she dances all over the place
A wind ripples through the air
As she dances without a care
And in the garden where she danced
Moving fluidly almost like in a trance
The raindrops glistening on the flowers
Shining with the sunlight that peaks through making the thunder cower
And as the storm finally ends and the clouds clear away
The rain dancer does not stay
And if your quick you'll catch a glimpse of her retreating form
But don't worry...she'll be back for the next storm

 

[Kikisaur]

idk what feedback is but damn your great! i love "your love"
please read my stories?  

[jewel_14]

Lol Feedback is what you just gave me!! Thank you!
(huggles)
I shall read them immediately!!!  

[jewel_14]

Mountain


Standing strong through the wind and cold
Tall and silent yet so many stories unfold
Beautiful to look at but dangerous to climb
But the right to say i have is mine
Rocks, loose soil, and roots everywhere you step
No human could climb that mountain without breaking a sweat
Many times i wanted to quit
And just say "This is it"
To say "Enough! I want to stop"
But deep down i know i want to reach the top
So i climb and climb till my legs are sore
But everyone tells me "Just a little bit more"
I slip and fall again and again
Who on earth said nature was your friend
Heart racing, legs shaking, my heart felt like it stopped
When someone said to me "You've reached the top"
The view was beautiful, so worth the climb and the right to say i did it is mine
But now as i sit here and think with a frown it hits me...
I still have to climb all the way back down

 

[jewel_14]

Goodbye

A friend will help you through any pain,
With a true friend you can always gain.

A friend has always got your back,
Caring for you is something they don't lack.

I had a friend like that,
She always had my back.

My friends name was Kate,
She was my best mate.

She had her doors open wide,
I was always welcome inside.

We'd play games do sleepovers for years this went on,
I had thought we'd always be together......i was wrong.

I had been playing at katie's and was called over and i went like that,
I looked up at my parents and found out i'd never be going back.

My parents said "Julia a truck will be coming to take all our stuff,
were moving to Massachusetts, this must be very tough"

I told Katie that day,
I was moving away

We cried, we screamed,
We kept saying it was only a bad dream

But it was real and i really had to go,
Even though we'd been through rain, sleet and snow

And so now I'm here and that's that,
And i know now, I'm never going back

She's changed......So have i
I just never thought we'd ever have to say "goodbye"

And so that's how i lost Katie D.,
The friend i thought would always be with me

......Thank you......

 

[jewel_14]

Summer Memories


Flowers falling on my face
As i stare into space
Laughing falling having fun
As i dance in the sun
The sun that felt so warm on me
That felt so good sleeping under a tree
But now fall has come with the cold
Along with school and books to hold
The days are short but feel so long
Just waiting for the bell to dong
And the books so heavy my arms so sore
I feel as if i can't take much more
Only one thing keeps me going thats a fact
That keeps me with this education pact

You see the thing is while this books weight a ton
i remember...the sun

 

[jewel_14]

What do you do...

What do you do
What do you do when you feel like an empty shell
What do you do when you can't figure out why you get up every morning
What do you do when you know you need something but you don't know why
What do you do when your completely numb to everything around you
What do you do when your world crumbles down around you
What do you do when your tired of the fighting and the yelling
What do you do when you've sealed yourself up and you can't trust people and let them in
What do you do when no matter how hard you try the tears won't come
What do you do when you don't know who you are anymore
What do you do when you feel like your falling and no one can catch you

What do you do when you just want to end it all

What do you do...What can you do

 

[Otulissa]

I LOVE the ending to "Old Man Winter" with all the periods. You are a BRILLIANT poet~!!! biggrin  

[jewel_14]

^/////^;;;

Thank you, very kind of you to say.

I just like showing what i see in my mind
with the rest of the world.

I'll probably post more soon.  

[jewel_14]

Ok peoples~

These next two I came up with today after hearing stuff on Brain damage and drinking and driving.

Kinda hits home for me personally as I know what the families are going through but i'll stop chatting and just give them too you

Oh and I dont know if their more rants than poems.

No rhyme scheme what.so.ever.

enjoy.