Friends Online

[0Moon_Maiden0]

Now-I'm not talking about the friends we've made is school and met in person....

I'm talking about the random people online (like most of us here) who've met and chatted online for who knows how long....for me I've chatted with some of who since I joined Gaia.

So I was wondering-do you consider these people friends/online friends?

I consider you peoples my online posse. wink I think I'm much more open with you which in turn I think may have helped me be open in my life outside Gaia....although, crazy college friends helped with that too.....

Anyway....it was something that got me thinking when I -think- I got into a fight or something with someone I had talked to on Gaia for probably over a year (I'll be nice and not disclose a name in public-although you might be able to figure out who).
This person apparently gets teased (among other things) a lot about being emo by people online and off. So I do my best to console and cheer up this person with my online responses when we chat (even though its difficult to properly convey these emotions online).

Moving on....we fell out of touch for a while....since this person blocked their profile from public viewing so I couldn't leave a comment. But eventually I sent a PM and we started chatting a little again and he unblocked his profile. I think he deleted me from his friends list because when I type a comment I have to enter those two code words too....but I ignored it-deciding it wasn't a big deal....he was still on mine anyway.

Then last week when I checked my friends list to see who was on I noticed his status....which said he was leaving gaia in two days. I asked he about it, feel worried for some reason-due to previous conversations in the past......

I asked if he was going on a trip....and he replied with (something along the lines of...) yes a trip with no return And with the past conversations I worried he might hurt himself or something...even if they were empty threats. I know I've said I would kill myself when I was younger but I never meant it and being catholic-eternal damnation does not appeal to me.

But he said there was a chance he would come back...

Anyway-I was running out of things to say and finally basically told him that I accept the decision that was his to make. I can't really stop you since we're online friends. I can't force you to do anything. But I'll miss you and wish you would stay longer.

Then I tried to make a joke to lighten to mood (because that's the way I am....)

The response I got back-

Quote:

your not an online friend it's a descision of torture or death

I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked and perhaps a little hurt.....and still concerned. Is that silly of me to react that way to someone I've never met in person? neutral

In the end......he hasn't left Gaia yet (he's still on my friends list and has been online since I started typing this topic-unless he gave his profile to someone else). I'm giving him space ((which is easy because he blocked his profile from the public again))....and only say and ask things on his thread not aren't even directly to him.  

[Moonlight_HuangHou]

That person doesn't sound like a friend at all. If they don't want your help then that's too bad for them. You were nice to be there and try to cheer them off. He didn't have to come off so mean. And of course it's not weird to feel shocked or a bit hurt for someone you never met. If you spoke to someone for so long that you consider them friends it makes sense since you've developed a friendship even if it's over the web.

I personally do consider the people I interact with every day on gaia friends. ^_^ Some I even knew since the guild open which was around 07 I believe. Even if we've never met before, I honestly feel like it's easier to be myself online than in real life. In real life I come off as the shy and quiet but friendly type unless they make efforts to know me better or I know them for a long time. Over the net I just come off as myself without starting out slow. ^^
Of course at first I'm unsure of what to say until I know the person well I think.  

[0Moon_Maiden0]

I was the same-not knowing what to say online.

And for my life outside Gaia I come off shy and quiet-but like I said...I'm getting better...crazy college friends.....plus their small attempts to get me to drink....haha

...it might surprise you who it was I was talking about too.....but out of respect the name shall go undisclosed.  

[Arch Angel Neko]

id say he's someone who's either rude and stupid or he is just so emo he feels the world is cursing him down upon the hole to eternal flames.. anyway.. i think it would be better to leave him be.. you had your part and you tried to help he must also try to help himself or maybe he just thinks your not that close so why do you care about him, i have had a friend here in gaia who thinks the same too not that it would matter to me, but i don't wanna let people think they are alone in this world.. you could tell him that if he needs someone to talk to you'll be here.. that would be the best choice i think, because sometimes they should take the responsibility of reaching out. Give him the chance to do that. Wait if you really want to.  

[Moonlight_HuangHou]

Oh! I might know who it is?
(Now I'm curious.)

lol It sounds like your very close to your friends in college. That's nice!  

[Black_Angel_Flowne]

*deep in thought*
...
First of all, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. You were doing your best to try and help him out, but he has to decide for himself if he really wants to help. I know it's really hard to deal with, though, because I've had real-life friends do the same thing.

Second part: I consider everyone I meet a friend, unless they do something that totally ticks me off. The people in this guild are good friends 3nodding And, obviously, because I consider you all friends I'm more than happy to help you out and listen to your story. blaugh
Most of my friends on Myspace I've met in person. Besides Tom, there's only two out of fourteen people that I haven't met in real life. Most of the people I met in Berea College are also in this group... But most of the people I talk to on Gaia... never met in me life!

Right now, all you need to do is let him have some space. It's terrible how he said that to ya. But the fact that you ARE indeed worried about him proves that you are a really kind and caring person. And right now, this guy'll have to fight his own inner demons.  

[Zizzykitty]

Oh God, that reminded me of a situation I had like that but with a real life friend of mine, and an ex to boot. (I should start saying THE ex since I've only got one)
Give him space but let him know that you're there if he wants to talk, that's my best advice.
Talking to someone that you care about when they're talking about stuff like that "journeys with no return" and such is really tough. I've had to do that with two friends, actually three now that I'm remembering my ex. I don't know how serious they were but I wasn't going to let them go down without a fight.
There's no sure fire way to stop someone but listening to them is always a good option.

I consider the regulars here my online friends. 3nodding
Here in the guild is where I have my biggest concentration of online friends.
I only have two outside of the guild and maybe one on deviantart.
Then on Solia since I'm still new and the forum is somewhat large I have more accquaintances than friends, there are just some people I like and run into more than others. Seems like there all the regulars have a kind of close circle, makes it kind of intimidating sometimes to want to post and such.  

[Super Mega Nope]

I think of online friends as friends, I always have.

I agree with everyone else he doesn't sound like that good of a friend.
I'd give him time to act better.

 

[Death Shikaku]

Online? I have soo many. Some good, active ones... some strange, cool ones. People from all over the world, too, which I think is cool. smile

It seems like I have mostly girl friends online though than guy friends. I think it's funny. Plus, most people on other websites think I'm a girl because my usage of smilies. XD (I don't know why only girls can use smilies...)  

[Moonlight_HuangHou]

I heart ^_^ (<--that last one meant "smilies")
I always write with them....so you know I'm smiling. XD
lol So it gives emotion to the text. They're addicting. ^_^ <----SEE?!