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Poetry

SurgicalMassacr

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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:52 pm


	Heres a poem I wrote check it out id love to here what people think. Also if you have some poetry feel free to post it.

Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:53 pm


	Beautiful Grass o' so green, Air filled with songs of birds unseen. I lay and look towards the sky, Blinding sunlight in my eye. A soft breeze gently blows by, Kissing me on the cheek o' so shy. Butterflies flutter, While snakes sliter. As I lay looking out towards the heavens, Letting go of all my demons. A Blue Jay lands in a nearby cedar, Into thought I sink deeper, deeper, deeper By: Nathan " Sugarfree " Ramsey

SurgicalMassacr

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Ava850

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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 12:19 am


	HUGS SM i love it. smile it's good <3 Ava

Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:16 pm


	I love it too! biggrin I like how you wrote "deeper, deeper, deeper" at the end of the poem. The repetition has a nice ring to it. I usually don't like couplets because they sound childish, but this one is beautiful, and mature, and the rhymes do not seem forced or awkward at all! Great job~!! applauds

Otulissa
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