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 Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:55 am
Let me just give you a little past reference to start. I've never met my dad in my entire life. As soon as my mo found out that she was pregnant, my dad left for Ohio, in hopes of finding a new home for us... well, something happened, and he never came back. It took four years for my mother to find him in order to file for a divorce. And it's not only my dad. His whole family... I have only seen them once in my entire life, when I was three. And I can't remember any of it. I just thought none of them wanted anything to do with me. Then I get asked to be a friend with a girl on myspace that I've never met. Besides Tom, she was the first person I've never met who wanted to talk to me. (All my myspace friends I have met in real life.) I just got an e-mail from her, saying not only is she about to marry my dad, but that my dad was hoping to find me... I don't know what to do. I asked her why he's all of a sudden coming back, but... should I keep talking to her? I just don't know...
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:17 am
Wow, that is a tough situation.
I've had a lot of strife with my dad so I know it was be stressful.
I'm going to ask first,
Do you want him to be back in your life?
If you do, then keep talking to her.
If not then stop now.
Feelings of betrayal and such are normal, I have a friend who's dad randomly keeps popping in and out of her life. She just goes with the flow when he comes back because she's come to terms with the fact that he's kind of a douchebag.
Feeling under pressure once I basically told my dad to "GTFO" because I was very stressed, in a bad mood, and he was asking me difficult questions about why I never call, why is he putting all the effort into our relationship, etc.
I felt terrible about it and I realized I really do want him in my life when I had realized what I'd done a couple months later.
(I'm on much better terms with him now.)
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:23 am
... That's a... tough question... If you had asked me before the e-mail, I would've said "No, I don't want him in my life." After reading this, I'm not so sure... I mean, I thought he didn't want me, but this girl says he does... In a way, I do want to meet my father... but in another way, I fear being led on again and abandoned... again. But there's another thing to this, too: there were rumors going around about me having a sister. There was even talk that my father had at least 5 children with other women, but no one is really sure if it's true. This girl says I do in fact have a sister who's a year younger than me, and, well, my dad's fiancee is also saying she has three young sons, so if they marry, I guess that makes about four... Even if my father wants nothing with me, I would really like to meet the rest of my family.
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:29 am
Yeah, it is a tough question.
As I said, I didn't realize until I'd had six months without any contact and the idea of never seeing or talking to him again.
You have to weigh your own pros and cons.
Do you fear never knowing him more than the chance of being abandoned?
Or do you not want to even chance it and stop it now?
Personally, I'd go for it.
I figure I'll regret it later if I don't so I may as well chance it and call it experience if it fails.
I think it would be difficult to see that family without seeing your dad.
Unless your dad really doesn't want anything to do with you, then you can just be like
"Hey dad, seeing the kids, kthx"
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:36 am
Zizzykitty I think it would be difficult to see that family without seeing your dad. Unless your dad really doesn't want anything to do with you, then you can just be like "Hey dad, seeing the kids, kthx" Yeah, I guess that would really be tough... rofl
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:40 am
Wow that is tough. I'm not good at these things but, why doesn't he ask you himself? Why doesn't your dad go online and chat with you first instead of having someone else deliver his message about hoping to find you?
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Moonlight_HuangHou Captain
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:46 am
Moonlight_HuangHou Wow that is tough. I'm not good at these things but, why doesn't he ask you himself? Why doesn't your dad go online and chat with you first instead of having someone else deliver his message about hoping to find you? ...That's the other weird thing. My dad doesn't know that his fiancee has been searching for me. She hasn't told him a thing about our conversations. Hang on a second, I'll show you the e-mail: "And there is a reason that i requested to be your friend and when you find it out, I am not sure if you will talk to me anymore and I understand but I hope that you will. There is no easy way to say this hon but here goes. I am not sure if I got the right person or not. The man I am with .... His name is Steven Ray Begley and he has been searching for his daughters and I think that you may be her. He used to be with a woman named sharron bowling and if I remember right january 17 is either your birthday or sharrons. He has no idea that i am looking online for you. I was able to get in contact his other daughter her name is April Begley and she lives in Kentucky and you may have even went to the same elementary school for just a tiny bit. This has got to be freaking you out a bit. Anyhow if you are her it would be amazing to know that i got the right girl and also if you are her your dad has been looking for you and I thought you might like to know."
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:55 am
well at any rate make sure she's who you think she is and no-one's leading you on, thatd be my advice. also if you choose to go there, go with other people.
other than that i can't really help - the answer has to come from your heart
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Moonlight_HuangHou Captain
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:22 am
Yeah same thing DT said. When I read that it kind of sounds like it could be either someone your dad knows and she could be truthful... OR someone dangerous. I mean she knows a lot but say if she's someone who holds a grudge against your dad and is actually a threat? Why not let him know she's looking for you online so they can look together? Unless she's hoping to surprise him? Still, I'd be cautious. ^_^
I don't mean to scare you by the way. It's just better to be safe than sorry. Maybe see if you can find more information somehow.
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