OCC - Blazing

[Valentine Valtieri]

Say anything you want about my new thread, just don't post OOC in it,sheesh people...  

[Tonash Drahow]

Hrm...

I'll withhold my comments on it for now until it is more developed. It just seems too generic at the current stage.

i.e. Hero's hometown/family is destroyed. Join or fight. Liberate or Dominate.

It has potential, just need more to flesh it out.  

[Valentine Valtieri]

i'm workin' on it. I've only ever developed one rp. And it didn't turn out so great. Plus it has to be this generic, so i can destroy it and rebuild in my own image.  

[HeadlessKoko]

Okay, I can kind of guess how hard it is to create a new rp. It can't be too generic but it can't be so original that people have to learn a bunch of new stuff. It also has to have enough structure to be a story but free enough that the actions of the players affect the story and not the other way around.
However, can you please make sure that you proofread your work and use proper spelling and grammar confused . I'm really sorry if you were planning on doing that later and that I'm whining for no reason, but it really gets to me sweatdrop . It might also be good if you explain why the bandits attacked because of the kids. What did they gain by attacking after the kids were born? You make it sound as if the birth of the kids was the reason why the bandits attacked. Once again, sorry, but I get a bit OCDish sometimes sweatdrop .  

[Valentine Valtieri]

It's hard to think when you have the flu. Just give me a little time to construct the generic base, the rest will be original. Plus, i was dfinatly sick this morning and i woke up at night, so i'm out of energy.  

[HeadlessKoko]

Oh.... Sorry, didn't know that sweatdrop . Hope you feel better soon.  

[Valentine Valtieri]

Well, i'm about to tear down the intro. You all know this was going to happen. The question is, when I tear it down, how much of the generics should I leave. I know I wanted to make something happen, but I don't want him to grow up with no past. I' m thinking I should leave at least half of the intro generic, what about you guys?  

[HeadlessKoko]

Depends on which half xp . Ultima don't worry and just write it down. If it ends up horrible then we'll all just scream at you and insult you 4laugh .
whee

I could probably give you a couple ideas but the best so far is just as generic as yours. Basically, instead of bandits, it's a wily advisor that takes over the country after the father goes senile. If you're thinking about adding in demons then you can say that the advisor is a demon him/herself and that he used his demonic powers to make the king go senile. From there, you can either say that he killed the whole royal family after gaining power or say that he only attempted to kill the heirs (aka: Katsumi and Kayumi) but only managed to kill the girl. For an added twist, you can put in that the sister serves under the false king. By killing only the heirs, the king will still be in power officially but the evil advisor will be the true ruler of the country.  

[Zulma san]

Ok Ultima, here some points for you to consider, you don't have to, this is your rp, but...anyway...nothing in what you have posted is helping people know what type of characters they can role play...

1- Character Profile Sheet: you have none...
2- Are they races? If yes, which ones, description & attributes. Is this a only human rp?
3- Is magic used? If yes, which proportion.
4- Are they groups/factions to join?
....

Right now, it is impossible (I am speaking as a player, not as a mod) to create a profile...  

[Valentine Valtieri]

sorry about that. I'm taking dreadfully long to type all of this out. I'm working on the code as we speak, but...it's hard. The only race is human. If somebody wants another race such as demon, angel, etc, then we can debate it. I'm trying to get it untangled, but as I said, it's hard to think with the flu.  

[Zulma san]

it's alright...
take your time
i shall not make comments anymore until you say that your rp is ready to go. smile  

[Valentine Valtieri]

I've changed my mind. Humans are not the only race. But the demons and angels and etc, can't be whole. They are still partially human. I'll make a sheet showing what magic can be used. On one condition. Magic is dying out, so I may only give everyone, one magic ability. They will be magic abilities of my choice, so watch your back! twisted  

[Tonash Drahow]

ultimashade

but as I said, it's hard to think with the flu.

I keep wanting to compare my situation with others, but I forget that a large number of the population on Gaia are not as old and/or mature as Zulma and I.

No offense towards anyone by that statement. Just an observation that as you get older, you learn to deal with multiple things during difficult times.

'Course I could be completely off base and way in left field, but meh.  

[Valentine Valtieri]

Ok well, I'm starting it before I get frustrated with myself. I want to shout delete this thread, but i like the storyline too much!  

[HeadlessKoko]

Ummm.... Don't we need some bad guys?