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Das Rabble Rouser

Invisible Phantom

PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 9:27 pm


Quote:
Top this for a speeding ticket

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar, California . One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.

The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A -18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.

Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander.

The reply came back in true USMC style:
—————————————————————————————————————————————

Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident.

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.

The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.

Thank you for your concern. Semper Fi.
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE


My grandpa got this in an email.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:30 pm


Auto-fire on any radar target? Seems not only incredibly unsafe, but also wasteful. A plane can only carry so many AGMs.

Fresnel
Crew

Citizen


Das Rabble Rouser

Invisible Phantom

PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:01 pm


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

It's a joke Fres
PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 12:31 pm


Oh God, that's hilarious. Almost as good as the aircraft carrier vs. lighthouse one.

Requiem ex Inferni

Eloquent Streaker


Ubasti

PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 12:48 pm


Requiem in Mortis
Almost as good as the aircraft carrier vs. lighthouse one.
I have not heard of this. Please do tell.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 4:57 pm


Ubasti
Requiem in Mortis
Almost as good as the aircraft carrier vs. lighthouse one.
I have not heard of this. Please do tell.


This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio
conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Requiem ex Inferni

Eloquent Streaker


Ubasti

PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:12 pm


Requiem in Mortis
Ubasti
Requiem in Mortis
Almost as good as the aircraft carrier vs. lighthouse one.
I have not heard of this. Please do tell.


This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio
conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
I love how the American Captain is all like "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"
PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:18 pm


Requiem in Mortis
Ubasti
Requiem in Mortis
Almost as good as the aircraft carrier vs. lighthouse one.
I have not heard of this. Please do tell.


This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio
conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
rofl

Das Rabble Rouser

Invisible Phantom


Shrantic

PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:15 pm


Requiem in Mortis
Ubasti
Requiem in Mortis
Almost as good as the aircraft carrier vs. lighthouse one.
I have not heard of this. Please do tell.


This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio
conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Why didn't the lighthouse get the ******** out of the way?

Pretentious Canadian bastards. stare
PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:52 am


Im suprised that they didnt take the same aproach as that middle eastern airlinner that one time.

Orkronos

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Maelthra Reloaded

PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:53 am


Aircraft don't carry live ammo in training over civilian areas.

Nor do they fly that low over civilian areas. I'm pretty sure they don't fly that low over the continental unites states, period.

your average hand held radar gun won't clock 300mph. Otherwise they'd use them at bonneville, instead of using timing systems.

I know its a joke. but its a lame one. twisted

As for the lighthouse. If you guys can't keep accurate maps of the area around maritime canada, I have no idea how you navigate foreign waters around the middle east.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:47 am


Maelthra Reloaded
Aircraft don't carry live ammo in training over civilian areas.
Pretty certain the ones here do. Every so often, you'll see one with grey bombs on it. Dummies are orange.

Fresnel
Crew

Citizen


AINGELPROJECT667

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:58 am


Fresnel
Maelthra Reloaded
Aircraft don't carry live ammo in training over civilian areas.
Pretty certain the ones here do. Every so often, you'll see one with grey bombs on it. Dummies are orange.


She's got a point. I live in Georgia, and I see a lot of military helicopters. Among those copters that I see is the majestic AH-1 Supercobra, on which, more often than not, I can see their wings fully loaded with rockets or AGMS, even from 300 feet off the ground.

As to why they do this, I have no idea, but it probably has something to do with National Defense.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 1:00 pm


AINGELPROJECT667
Fresnel
Maelthra Reloaded
Aircraft don't carry live ammo in training over civilian areas.
Pretty certain the ones here do. Every so often, you'll see one with grey bombs on it. Dummies are orange.


She's got a point. I live in Georgia, and I see a lot of military helicopters. Among those copters that I see is the majestic AH-1 Supercobra, on which, more often than not, I can see their wings fully loaded with rockets or AGMS, even from 300 feet off the ground.

As to why they do this, I have no idea, but it probably has something to do with National Defense.


Fresnel is a guy.

Buki_Actual

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Das Rabble Rouser

Invisible Phantom

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 1:02 pm


AINGELPROJECT667
Fresnel
Maelthra Reloaded
Aircraft don't carry live ammo in training over civilian areas.
Pretty certain the ones here do. Every so often, you'll see one with grey bombs on it. Dummies are orange.


She's got a point. I live in Georgia, and I see a lot of military helicopters. Among those copters that I see is the majestic AH-1 Supercobra, on which, more often than not, I can see their wings fully loaded with rockets or AGMS, even from 300 feet off the ground.

As to why they do this, I have no idea, but it probably has something to do with National Defense.
Congratulations you are the first I know of to mistake him for a girl.
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