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 Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:25 pm
Azar'bijan. Fire Hero.
Why did he feel that he had never quite lived up to his name? He was no hero. He probably never would be. All he did was stuff things up. Make situations much worse just by opening his big, stupid mouth. He just couldn't help himself!! It was like he'd been in self-destruct mode since birth, bringing himself down with each and everything he did.
Life was so complicated.
He hated it sometimes.
Why did he have to be such an a**? Why did he have to have a crush on his teacher? Why did he have to screw up his friendship with Ursa? Why did Ursa have to get pregnant? Why did he always have to argue?
Right. It was time to turn over a new leaf...or....grain of sand, since there weren't many leaves in the desert! He had to find her. They needed to talk. Scary, yes, but very necessary indeed.
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:33 pm
She didn't spend much, if any, time away from she and Iroh's den now. She was angry and dejected, and angry for feeling dejected, so she mostly just wanted to be left the ******** alone thank you very much. Iroh was allowed of course, as her denmate, brother, and best friend. Ursa was heavy with cub, but the pregnancy seemed to have come at a fair enough time. She grew a little more slowly as she was sharing her nutrients with the cubs, but though she'd worried all seemed well enough.
With her head on her paws as she waited for Iroh to bring back food, Ursa was effectively sulking. It was like she and Azar had swapped brains for the day!
Azar...
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:34 pm
The closer he got to the dens, the more afraid he became. Afraid of getting face full of claws, afraid of making things worse. Ursa was scary when she was angry!! Even still...she had been his first friend. His only friend. If he did one good thing in his life, making things up with her would be it. But how?
He suddenly wished he had more people to rely on, others to ask. He needed advice on what to say because, to be quite frank, Azar was terrible with words, always putting his paw in it. And the knowledge of that made him even more nervous.
How was he going to do this!?
But time for thinking was done. The den was in sight and it was now or never. Although...perhaps she wasn't in...maybe she'd gone for a walk. Or for a drink. Or for a chat with a friend. (Hopefully not his brother, else he'd definately get angry, then).
He paused a few paces away, lowered his head, flattened his ears, and gave a gruff call. He paused, heart thudding, breath stilled.
Please dont be home. Please don't be home!!
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:35 pm
Ursa's ears twtiched as they always did at the sound of someone passing the den. Traffic was heavy in the pride these days, what with so many little ones running around and the influx of members between the previously accepted Safi and the visitors, Iroh among them. Oh but he'd been a god-send. And how interesting to meet her dearest brother's name sake, a relative of theirs! It had filled her with no little amount of pride to know that their great, great uncle had been one of the great generals for the Firekin way back in the day, but his glory days were behind him, as clearly indicated by his dulling coat and grayed out mane. Now he was just a peaceful old lion looking to offer advice, experience, and wisdom where it was needed.
Not to mention he was pretty good for cuddling and pretty funny with jokes.
Her ears twitching stopped abruptly though, sitting up on point as they caught Azar's voice. Wh-what? Why was he back? She hadn't expected to see him again after making him face the possibility that he may be the father of her cubs, or after that, when he'd pleaded with her.
"... Azar?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:35 pm
Unlike Ursa, Azar'bijan had never really been that close to his family. He adored his mother, yes, but he didn't often take the time to see her now he was grown. His brothers and sisters had been an irritant - one in particular grated on his nerves more than the others. He was quite a lonely guy, really, but he had no one to blame but himself.
Perhaps if he were not so judgemental and quick to temper than he would have made more friends. However, he did get on quite well with the white-pelted Iroh, despite the bumpy start on their friendship.
She answered his call...
Crap! What was he going to do now? What if she was mad? Hormones and all that? But...well, there was no going back now. If he ran it'd only make her madder and that could not be good. No. He'd made the decision to speak with her and it had to be done.
Breath, Azar, breath!
"Yeah, it's me." He called back, still stepping no closer. "I...I thought we should...well, you know...maybe talk." He winced at the sound of his hesitant, nervous voice.
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:00 pm
She did not rise, by this point it wasn't that she was lazy, no self respecting Firekin female would ever let something like this hold them down, but it was easier to stay. Why get up just to talk?
"Come inside then."
She sounded a little tired, tired of being angry, tired of missing her friend, and tired of telling herself the painful truth-- that he cared for someone else and all she was was the toussle in the sand. If they could talk things out maybe she'd be a little closer to understanding, or at the very least maybe she'd get enough closure to finally shake this off.
For better or worse.
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:04 pm
Go inside? Did he really want to do that? Well...really, what was the worst that could happen? No, seriously, this could get ugly! Even still, he swallowed back his cowardice - for the next few moments at least - and moved closer, hesitating again at the entrance of the den. He peered inside, allowing his eyes to get used to the dim light. Her warm scent filled the den, somehow different now that she was expecting, and yet distinctly her all the same.
Okay. It's now or never.
Drawing in a deep breath he braced himself and stepped inside, head lowered so he didn't accidently crack it against the ceiling.
"Are you...okay?" He glanced around, finally realising she was laying down. Was she tired? In pain? Was something wrong? Oh no! She wasn't going into labour, was she? He didn't think he could handle that! Desperately trying to cover the fact that he was freaking out, he tried to continue speaking, though his voice was somewhat strained.
"If this isn't a good time...I could...always come back.
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:05 pm
She could, literally, smell his fear, or at least his unease. That was the tricky thing about animal senses, so much sharper than a two leggers'.
Her red eyes pierced the darkness with experienced ease, already well adjusted to the dark since she had spent the better half of her afternoon in there out of the harsh sun. Soon enough instinct would drive her to find a solitary den to birth the cubs, but the matter of who to take with her since Azar was in denial and terrified, and his brother was with his own female now, that left Iroh, who was-- while not neglecting her of course --busy more and more with his own social life these days. Her father and (adopted) mother were also busy with their own lives and the likely hood of cubs. She may just end up asking her aunt Kenna.
When he stepped in she recognized that he had grown more too... his mane seemed fuller now, had it really been that long? How many weeks?
"I'm pregnant, Azar, not dying." She pointed out patiently, ears twitching at the strain in his voice. He really didn't want to be there, did he? "If it weren't a good time I wouldn't have told you to come in. You can stay."
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:29 pm
"Oh, right, well...okay." He sat somewhat awkwardly, not liking the silence that followed. Right, okay, so what was he supposed to say, again? Oh right...he hadn't planned anything out. Fantastic!
"I...wanted to talk."
Yes...he'd already said that, hadn't he?
Gritting his teeth, he glanced away, finding an interesting shadow to entertain himself with as he fought with his next words. "I guess...I sort of owe you an apology...you know, for what happened the other day. I...shouldn't have got angry." His ears drooped. Why was this so difficult? Why wasn't anything coming out in the way it wanted too?
"I dreamed of being some brave, courageous hero, you know. But that's just it. It's a dream. The truth is, Ursa, that I'm a coward."
There, that hadn't been so hard, had it?
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:30 pm
"...." She was stunned. For as long as they had been friends he had never indicated any doubt like this before. His sudden confession took her a bit by surprise, alright-- a LOT by surprise --and something seemed to tear on the inside at hearing those words. She set her jaw and resolved to make things right between them. Hadn't she overreacted just a little, herself? "You're not a coward, Azar, you just have a big damn ego. Most males do. Especially Firekin males."
Not that she'd met any others to compare with, aside from her uncle at least-- who also happened to tell her stories. Ursa pulled, shifting her weight to try to get to her paws, but decided against it, flicking her tail.
"At least you faced your fears head on." Sure, it might have taken him a while, but better late than never at all, honestly, and who was she to judge? No one. How long had she carried the truth of her feelings for him around after all? Not very honest or brave of her. "... The truth is, I might have over reacted. I care about you in the same way that you care for Uuo, but let's face it, you don't see me that way. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, and I think that I did. I'm sorry too, Azar... Right now, I just miss my friend... and if the cubs are yours... I don't want them to be punished because of our fighting."
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:30 pm
He was equally surprised at her reaction to his words. Yes, it had been hard to summon the courage to say them, but had it really been as difficult as he had been making out? After all, it was the truth and if he couldn't tell a friend, then who could he tell? It didn't matter if they argued a lot of the time, he knew he cared for her despite all that. Besides, wouldn't the friendship be boring if there wasn't disagreements and dramas? Yes, probably.
Even still, her kind words made him feel guilty. He'd been a horrible friend and he didn't deserve her forgiveness. He'd all but abandoned her in a time of need. She was pregnant. He thought he was scared about that, but what must she be going through? She who was carrying them and who would have to birth them? And to go through it alone...
"Then we won't fight. At least not for a while."
And then her words truly sank in and his head picked up a little, both ears directing themselves towards her. She felt for him as he felt for...Uuo? Really? Well...this was news to him. Big news, actually. It was odd, actually, because now that she had brought that up, he realised that for the last week or so, he hadn't even been thinking about Uuo. All he'd been doing was worrying about Ursa and that argument that seemed to have torn them apart for good. What that meant, he wasn't quite sure, all he was glad was that he was forgiven.
"You didn't overreact. I'm a b*****d. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'll take it anyway since you offered. It's too late to take back, now."
And yet the thing with Uuo haunted his thoughts, persistently poking at him. His feelings, right now, felt so jumbled up he didn't have a hope in deciphering them. Not for a while yet, anyway.
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Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:05 pm
"Alright." She replied, feeling relieved, though she couldn't seem to muster up smile enough to show it. Were they okay? Sort of at least, maybe not all the way yet, but it was a start. It was certainly better than they had been. "I'm glad."
She gave a sigh, trying to get more comfortable. Pregnancy, for all the joy it was supposed to bring after, was a big pain. There was the matter of feeling so out of shape, which was really the worst of it, but there was also the unpleasant changing hormones.
"I'll be so glad when they're born." She mumbled softly.
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Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:06 pm
Azar blinked and cast a glance at her belly, wondering just how many she was going to birth. Wondering how long it was going to be before they were born. Whether he was the father or not wouldn't matter in the long run, would it? After all, these babies were going to change everything. She'd be tied to them, have to take care of them. She couldn't just wander about whenever she pleased.
"How...how long do you think it'll be before...before they're born?"
And how would they know who the father was? That unspoken question hung in his mind, worrying him deeeply. He didn't know what would be worse. For the cubs to be his. Or the cubs to be his....his brother's.
He growled at that thought and shifted irritably. How dare his brother butt in on his friendships like this!! He'd pay him back one day...
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Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:07 pm
Her tail ticked. The cubs, as if sensing their father's agitation (Though none of them knew for certain which of the males had sired the cubs yet.) began to shift, unseen on the surface, but felt by Ursa. She gave an agitated rumble herself, waiting for the unusual feeling to pass. She just felt so damn restless and edgy these days!
"I'm not sure, soon though, I think very soon. I don't imagine they can get much bigger."
She had worried and wondered too, how they'd know. She supposed whichever brother passed on the most markings would determine it... though she knew from her litter mates that sometimes markings were a poor judge.
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Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:08 pm
He stood, feeling nervous and edgy talking about cubs. He didn't know how he felt. It was all so confusing. He just wished he could turn back time and change that day when he...when they...
He shook his head. What had happened had happened and there was no changing it. The cubs were going to be born and no matter what happened, they needed to deal with it one way or the other.
"Will....one of the females be with you when...when it's time?" He asked. He hoped the answer was yes. He didn't know what his brother was up to these days but there was no way he wanted him to do it and make him look bad!
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