|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:06 pm
Please PM Kain who you want to vote for so I can make sure there is one vote per entry. (Yeah I'm late doing this...)
One vote per person. Pick your favorit parody and let Kain know what number. I'll post the winners next week (January 18th.) If I missed your entry drop me a PM on this account.
Please do not post in this thread.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:09 pm
Entry #1 *~RAZIEL THE RAGGED WINGED SAVIOR~* (Done to the tune of Rudolf the red nosed reindeer) Raziel the ragged winged Savior
Savior~
Had a very shiny sword
Like a glow stick!
He once had a set of wings
Wings~
But for his transgression he earned a new kind of reward
It was agony!
All of the other brethren
Brethren~
Happily cast him into the abyss
Like a traitor!
So it kinda went without saying
Saying~
Raziel was pretty pissed!
Like a guy who just lost his p***s should be!
Then one murky Christmas eve, Elder God came to say
In Moebius’s underwear!
Raziel don’t you look so blue, you can still go and reave Kain in two.
So that’s when Raziel decided
Decided~
He would take his revenge with glee
Killing family members is fun!
Raziel the ragged winged Savior
Savior~
You’re now part of the Legacy~
Of Kain!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:10 pm
Entry #2
(To Sleigh Ride)
(BO2)
Just see those Sarafan heads flying
Chop, chop chopping them off
Come on it's lovely weather
For Kain to have a homicidal laugh
Outside the blood is pouring
And victims are pleading in fear
"please help me kind sir"
As if Kain would care to hear
Hack-a-slash-hack-a-slash
Vae Victus
Kain does not miss
The bodies are in the Abyss
hack-a-slash-hack-a-slash it's great
Using immolate
He's conquering all Nosogth
As if it were his fate
Their cheeks are nice and rosy
As the blood trickles down their armor
They're fools for trying the prostitutes
For a romping adventurous paramour
He'll take the road before him
To visit the pillars ahead
Come on it's lovely weather
To remove your enemies' heads
There's a grand party at the home of Vorador
He'll be surrounded by some alcohol and whores
Kain will wonder why he comes and stays his place
As Marcus and Sebastian break an expensive vase
Break Break Break
Magnus rambles insanely about the amount of food
And Lord Kain finds the Seer's advances very crude
Fautus gets confused as one of Vorador's brides
These wonderful things we remember
All through our unlives.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:12 pm
Entry #3
(To Frosty the Snowman)
Magnus the crazy man
Was tortured, neurotic soul
With an exposed brain and crushed nose
One one eye maybe burnt out by coal
Magnus, the crazy man
Was once a vampire they say
He feared water and snow
And only some may know
How he was captured that one day
He knew some powerful magic
But by the Sarafan he was found
And now he's messed up in the head
And terrorizes everyone around
(Oh!)
Magnus the crazy man
Was insane as one could be
It was hard to say
If the delusions were real or play
But keep him away from me
Magnus the crazy man
Could not tell the night from day
He broke free to run
Perhaps it was his only fun
To try and get away
Closed off from the village
Or they'd be done by his hand
And so he ran into the fortress square
The furnace on his back like a giant can
And then from another town
Someone acting nothing like a cop
When to destroy the device when
After the battle Magnus cried "stop"
Magnus the crazy man
Was freed by Kain in a way
He was happy and said goodbye
No longer able to cry
Never to be tortured another day
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Magnus go
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Away from the hills of snow
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:14 pm
Entry #4/Story
(Parody of of LoK Defiance and Guild Goers: Mistletoe does Go.)
Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the house (Vorador's House). Not a creature was stirring... not even a mouse.
BANG!
Well...maybe not every creature wasn't stirring.
"I'm pretty sure I advised you to lean the tree THIS way!" Came Vorador's annoyed tone of voice from the main entryroom. "Now put it back where I told you to put it."
"You were the one to suggest a Christmas Party, mind you." Kain's aggravated tone snarled from the ladder he was standing on to hold upon a star on top of the tree. Raziel, unfortunately was below trying to hold it together.
"Had to chop down the biggest tree, you said. It's going be a grand party, you said. Kain wouldn't be here you said. I ask you, what is wrong with all of those things I just mentioned?" Raziel hissed from behind a pine branch at Vorador.
"I lied...?" Vorador grinned. "Oh please. I'm the only one with the most lavish house here in Nosgoth...well. The only one with the only lavish house left."
"It's...adequate." Sighed a female voice from the corner of the room.
All heads turned to look at the hatter woman standing in the corner. "I don't believe I had any anonymous guests allowed to come on the list. You're a bit early...and I'm afraid I may have to ask you to leave..." Vorador said, giving the strangely garbed woman a once over. "Are you human?"
"Who is to say? I am only mad."
"Well, as long as you're here, you should quit being 'mad' and come help with the party if you've nothing better to do." Raziel broke the branch off that was in his face to peer out at the Hatter woman.
"DON'T DESTROY IT!" Vorador exclaimed in anger. "It's one of the biggest trees in Nosgoth!"
"Is there any particular reason you came to be here?" Kain asked from the ladder. "We don't care much for your kind around here."
"...The kitchen is filled with my baked goods. Your servants have terrible culinry skills."
"That's what you get when you hire hungry humans..." Kain snickered under his breath.
Vorador glared at the Scion of Balance before turning to look back at the Hatter woman. "And your cooking skills ARE up to par? Results. I expect to see them. I don't plan to walk all the way to the kitchens just to see such products. I never take humans by their word. That's how one gets their head taken off."
The Hatter woman looked at him inquisitively. "You know this from experience?"
"That...uh, that's not for discussion. This is a Christmas party that I am hosting. Now, as for your goods, madame. I expect to see them..."
With her brow cocked in a smug manner she turned to look down a hallway and she gave a sudden whistle.
From around the corner a creature, possibly about as tall as either Kain or Raziel, scurried in. It bumped into the walls a few times while holding a tray out and regained its footing once it stood next to the woman. "Ta-dah." She gestured, taking the lid from the top and gesturing to the assortment of baked goods underneath.
Vorador's jaw dropped and even Raziel couldn't help but find the sight of the treats somewhat delicious in appearence. "How did...?" Kain trailed off.
"The girl said 'ta-dah'. What the hell more you guys want?" The creature spoke. The poised set of rabbit ears atop its head twitched in annoyance. With the blackest fur anyone ever did see, the bi-pedal rabbit creature stood there holding the tray and speaking with a very strange and unusual accent that did not conform to Nosgoth standards.
"Did you allow this ANIMAL in my house?" Vorador asked, coming back to reality.
"Is that a rabbit?" Raziel asked, unimpressed.
"Rabbit stew..." Kain pondered to himself aloud.
The glowing eyes of the rabbit creature looked down at the Hatter woman with annoyance. "Did you tell them we were here?"
"He says we weren't on the list." The Hatter woman sighed. "I suppose we may have to leave here-"
"OH! HELL. NO!" The creature raised his voice. His tone was angry he held the tray still, denting the metal with his dexterous fingers. "DON'T YOU FRICKIN' TELL ME I DRAGGED MY a** ALL THE WAY OUT OF BED TO THIS DAMN PLACE, HELP YOU COOK ALL THIS s**t I CAN'T EAT, AND THEN..."
"Is there REALLY any reason you need to be yelling and screaming right now." The woman cut him off with a sneer. "Because if you'd like, I can make sure you NEVER see your beloved hat again."
The creature's ears drooped and he muttered something in an unintelligable language.
"Alla i ddim credu hyn. Rwy'n dod hyn oll unig ffordd i gael i gyflawni eich hambwrdd. Mynd i gymryd fy het a guddio rhag i mi, ac ni ddweud wrthyf lle ..."
(Rough Translation: I can't believe this. I come all this way only to have to carry your tray. Going to take my hat and hide it from me and not tell me where...)
"If you curse my name in that insufferable language you speak-"
"Look you...guys." the creature began. "Do you have ANYWHERE I can set this down. I'm half tempted just to throw it at one of you for no reason."
"Maybe the bunny needs some mistletoe." Raziel muttered sarcastically.
Now enraged, the creature, called Sullivan, gnashed his teeth angrily. "Hey. YOU with all the pinecones in his greasy muck he calls hair. SHUT THE HELL UP. These ears ain't for show."
Raziel perked up with some irritation that he was being called out as such. "Were you speaking directly to me?"
"No, he was talking to the OTHER person in the room with pinecones in his hair." Kain answered sarcastically. "MY ARMS ARE GETTING TIRED!" He yelled down at Vorador.
"Fine, drop the star so that it shatters into a thousand pieces. At the rate things seem to be going no party will be going on due to the slow pace!" Vorador spun, snarling. "Forget I even asked to put one on top of the tree."
"SILENCE!" The hatter woman roared and the room grew quiet. "Excuse me." She said, with an embarassed grin. "I lost my temper...and I'll lose it again soon."
"Well, what do you suggest we do then if nothing is going to get done?" Raziel asked.
"Drop dead?" Sullivan said, laughing.
"Sullivan, I'll stick a bird in your room later this evening."
"KEEP IT AWAY!" He cried, the tray flying up in the air and the creature suddenly ran off frantically. "AAAAH!"
She held her arms out casually as the tray dropped back down into her grasp and she caught many of the assorted treats. Except..."Wait? Where is that Lemon Mint Cake?" Said the Hatter woman with much confusion.
SPLAT.
"Wah!" Turel unfortunately was the receiver of the cake that now resided in gooey bits all over his face.
"Oh. Sorry brother, bad luck." Raziel snickered.
Well, most of the group had been confused as to how the other creature fled the room for some reason at the mention of avian critters, now life had returned since, well, Turel had been the bearer of the cake now on his head.
"Who made this? It is actually very delicious."
"I did. Hatter, sir. Madame Hatter."
"That's it? Just Madame Hatter? Not anything else?"
"We could call her the b***h that threatens me with birds..." Sullivan muttered, poking his head from around the corner with a sullen look on his face.
"I can arrange that if you'd like..." The Madame grinned. "Birds, Sullivan. From every corner of the room-"
"AAAH! KEEP 'EM AWAAAAAY!" Again the rabbit creature fled.
"Are you to just let that thing run around my home wreaking havoc?!" Vorador shouted. "I have expensive things!"
CRASH!
"Well...that's one less expensive item." Turel said, peeling chunks of cake from his face. "You made this?" He asked the Madame.
"Yes. I did. Sorry about it falling on your head though."
"SHE'S NOT SORRY! SHE'S EVIL!"
"May I skin it alive?" Kain asked, now becoming annoyed with Sullivan's screaming and ranting.
"You may not, m'lord. He's a personal friend of mine. I don't think his Mistress that he is in a relationship with would appreciate that."
"And who is to say she would see me?" Kain asked.
"She'll tell..." Sullivan had reluctantly ventured back into the room.
"If you keep misbehaving I believe she MAY just call on your winged friends to fix you." Raziel warned.
"You got somethin' to say shorty?" Sullivan asked. "Otherwise you'd come out from behind that tree."
"I actually can't come out from here...I'm the tree's support right now." Raziel grumbled.
"Oh look." Vorador said with interest as Turel finished some of the cake that had been on his face moments before.
" 'Oh look' what?" Sullivan asked looking up to where Vorador's gaze was.
"Is that what I think it is?" Raziel stared with humor in his tone.
"It appears so."
Behind the two a creature, similiar to Sullivan in height and species wiggled a tiny branch above Madame Hatter's head next to Turel.
As Madame Hatter looked up her face grew livid and she heard a mischievious 'reeeee' noise from behind her. "Curse you Merrival."
"Kiss and make up....." Sullivan cooed smugly.
"This should be interesting. I may just stick around to see this."
"Someone should go get one of those...ah, what do you call them, camera phones? Yes. One of those to capture this moment."
"Turel must kiss a stranger."
"EH?" Turel looked up and suddenly found an idea forming in his head. "I believe it will be adequate repayment for the cake you dropped on my head, Madame." He grinned, drawing closer. "Shall we, stranger?"
"Pucker up and close your eyes..." Said Madame Hatter with a sigh.
As soon as Turel did so-
SPLAT.
Sullivan fell over laughing hard. "Oh god! I saw this coming! And I didn't care! Ahahaha!"
"That's just sad." Kain laughed shaking his head.
"Poor Turel."
"Another Christmas...another cake in the face."
"I hate you guys..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:15 am
Get those votes in, *needs more votes*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kain Balance Guardian Crew
|
Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 3:31 am
I actually need a few more votes before I can award anything... we're in a bit of a tie...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 2:07 am
Winners:1st: #3- Lieutenant Turel
Tie
2nd: #2- Lieutenant Turel
2nd: #4- MadxHatterxTeapot
Prizes:
1st: 10K
2nd: 5K
Will be sending out trades in a few minutes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kain Balance Guardian Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
