|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:39 pm
It made her angry, that black male coming here. She had the right mind to tell Kidondo, to send herself and a few soldiers, if they be willing, after the trespasser. If only she could have ripped uot his wings. She snarled to herself, looking into a pool of water she had come across. Tiny rounded stones were on the bottom, keeping it from seeping into the sand. The red clay beneath the stones made the water had a tinge of red, it was still good, but she hated what she saw.
Her mark, her curse her mother had called it, branded into her pelt, she could only be rid of it by gouging it out by claw, losing it to a scar in battle. But even now it was untouched, her brother Ka had it too. Ryujin was free of it, and Kai envied him. Sighing she looked at the water, saw her mother in her eyes, in her skin and it pained her.
She loved him, so much, wanted everything life could give, but how could she think of the future, of little ones, of family, when such a curse was on her, in her blood.
Could she really bring life into this world knowing her mother still lurked and could snatch them away?
Could she let anyone of them carry this mark too, she didn't know.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:55 pm
 Something was bothering her - he could tell. Even from a distance he could always tell when something was off, and that bothered him; but what bothered him even more was the fact that she really hadn't mentioned a thing.
"You can tell me, you know," he said as he approached the female. Ra'd settled himself across from her, looking down at her reflection as he spoke. "If there's something wrong. I know you know that," he paused and sighed. "But you still.. haven't said anything." He'd been close behind her as they made their way over, but he chose not to say anything until they stopped.
A breeze blew past, hot and arid, like any other desert breeze. The male sighed once more and looked up at her, suddenly feeling so distant from the one he loved. "I hardly know you, Kai," came the words at last. They'd been caught in his throat for a while now, and he had been trying hard to find a way to say it out loud. As if ignoring it made it any less true. "I mean.. I know you, but somehow I feel like I don't at the same time."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:00 pm
"There are things about me I wish you never had to know, or even have to be in contact with," Kai said with her ears falling back. She was looking at herself, her red eyes, disgusted. Her mother, supposedly, was tricked by a rogue male, that looked like her past love, she saw it in a dream once. How could her mother fall for something so simplistic, was she that lonely, that wanting of a family that she didn't want to begin with? It made her angry.
Why did her mother choose to have a family, and then throw half of it away.
She ground her teeth together and looked to her side, not wanting him to see her eyes, see the pain and hurt she felt inside.
"Do you remember my family Ra'd?" she asked quietly, "had you ever...seen them, my mother, my aunt, my cousins?"
How would he react, would he leave her now?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:13 pm
He nodded slowly as an inkling of a memory came to mind. "You once told me that some of your family had wings and could fly." Ra couldn't help but smirk. It was a curious thing that she'd revealed to him back when they hardly knew each other. Now it seemed so much more complicated, like she was ashamed of them. So much so that she couldn't bear to share the details with him.
"I believe you," he said matter-of-factly while giving a shrug. "I met one, in fact. Didn't seem so bad so we talked for a little while. The point is that it didn't bother me then, and it doesn't now." Thinking back on his encounter with her cousin he remembered that he was supposed to deliver a message. What the message was exactly currently.. escaped him.
"If there's another detail about them you wanted to share, then go ahead. It won't change anything, believe me." Ra offered her a faulty, but reassuring smile.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:20 pm
"I never doubted you believing me, and my aunt's family, isn't the problem, its mine," she said sighing. "My aunt isn't really my aunt Ra'd, she and my mother have been close since they can remember, they call themselves sisters, but its a lie, my mother's real family was killed a long time ago," the dreams Kai had were sometimes so horrific, the day her mother's family was killed was no different.
"And my cousins aren't my cousins, its complicated, but its a facade that evidently keeps other's safe." She tried to find the words, they were hard. Kidondo was one of the few that really knew the truth, she couldn't hide it from Ra'd.
"My mother, was a goddess, one I wish I never had to see, but I see her in my dreams, I'm a seer, like the others," she said looking up, referring to Ka and Ryujin. "Ryujin doesn't have visions like Ka and I, we get them more frequent, I think, because of this," she pointed to her marking, held her claws from ripping it off from her.
"My mother is the goddess of Rage, Ra'd, this mark Ka and I carry, she said its a curse, a mark of instability, the instability she has that's driven her to hurt those closest to her," she'd killed so many, her mother, how could Kai live with it?
"I don't want this to be on anyone else, but," she bit her mouth shut, ashamed, maybe he didn't feel the same way, want the same things, "if any of us were to have a family, if Ka or I, and a child bore this mark, they would carry the curse further," she remembered the dream of it.
The mark only being true when born through a true barer of it.
It angered her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:52 pm
He listened carefully. What else could he do for her at this point? He was hardly one to believe in curses and anything of that sort, and yet the pain in her eyes, her tone of voice, was enough to change his mind. After she finished speaking he couldn't really find his words. What could he say? It's probably something he should have brought a long time ago - back when it would hurt much less than it did now. It only came to him as she started explaining her situation, perhaps midway through, that all this time he'd really been feigning ignorance. The problem was there, it had always been there, yet he'd chosen to ignore it. He chose to pretend everything would eventually work out, and yet here he was now.
"Why.." he started, still waiting for the right words to come. "Why didn't you say anything before?" Ra paused and shook his head. "No, wait."
The male lifted his gaze to meet hers, unsure of what his expression might have been at that moment. Anger, irritation, surprise, confusion...there was no way he could tell the emotions apart at this point. Which one manifested on his face currently, he didn't know. "What did she do?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:00 pm
"She did so many horrible things Ra'd, and I see them when I sleep if I dream," she bit her lip, looked at him, would he hate her now, would he turn away? "I don't know the probability of a child becoming a seer like a parent but, how could I give that burden to a mere child? Ka and I know what its like, to have such a fear when so small, that was why we always were on our own, why we met you that day," a half smile came across her face. She'd never forget the day they met Ra'd.
"I didn't want to say anything before because I didn't want you to...us to not," her eyes were burning, she didn't want to cry, it hurt her so much, she cried so much as a cub waking from such nightmares. "She never cared, ever, she hated Ka and I, me more because I was female I guess. I didn't mean to keep this hidden from you, I didn't want you to know what filth I came from," she was trying so hard not to cry, run away, her body was shaking slightly.
"I love you so much Ra'd, so much nothing can measure the depths of it, but I needed you to know, know why I'm afraid of the possibility of what could happen, the mark, who and what I'm born from, even if it hurts me, drives you away from me" she wanted so much to have nothing like this to exist, come to pass. She wanted to have a family with Ra'd, she wanted to be the mother she wished she had had, she wanted to be with Ra'd always.
But, what now?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:17 pm
The fact that she didn't go into detail spoke of the magnitude of her own mother's actions, and while he couldn't relate he was at least able to understand that much. The male simply nodded and listened to the rest of what she had to say. Her greatest fear was to pass on this curse, to see her own children suffer the way she had as a cub. But she failed to see one fundamental difference between the two situations, the one thing that stuck out most to him.
"You're not your mother," he said quietly, searching his reflection for the right words to say so that she would see that the same thing wouldn't happen to their family. He wasn't sure how else to continue. His voice seemed to disappear after his last statement, but he wanted to say more. "You...care, you'd never hate any of your cubs. Our cubs.." He narrowed his eyes, still wanting to say more but at a loss for words yet again.
"We would raise them together," he started slowly, allowing the words to come naturally. "Make sure they know that if they're having visions that they have someone they can go to all the time. We can make sure that they never go to sleep without knowing that someone loves them, namely the two of us. They won't be alone...not ever. Isn't that enough?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:21 pm
His words were so simple, and struck through her like a bolt of lightning. Her eyes opened in sudden understanding, looking into his golden eyes. Her were still shining then, the sorrow slowly escaping, subdued by his voice. "It is," she spoke softly, gripping the sand beneath her, still something bothered her.
"But, us, what I've told you, does it, change anything?" she had said she loved him, yet he spoke nothing in return, had she driven him away already?
Sometimes she wished she could gouge the mark from her shoulder by her own paws.
Perhaps she would be lucky one day, to have them removed in a battle.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:35 pm
He replied with a shake of his head, simple and straightforward as always. For something like her past to get in the way of all that they'd been through together, in all honesty the matter seemed trivial at best now. Ra offered her a small, reassuring smile.
"I told you earlier," he finally spoke. "Nothing you say would change anything." He gave a little shrug as he was a bit more lax now. It felt like they'd shoved a huge boulder off of their backs. "None of it has. I would've said it earlier, but it felt like there was something more important that needed to be said."
Ra looked back at his reflection, then at hers. "That said, I love you too," and he paused, shifting a bit uncomfortably where he sat. "Though," he started again, trying to sound more relaxed. He wasn't usually one for gushy words and the like. "I thought you would've figured that out after my whole.. speech."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:39 pm
Everything dark and dismal seemed to fade away with his words, those words, and Kai smiled, and even smirked a bit. She came close to him, licked his cheek and purred, and hit his shoulder sort-of lightly with her paw, "Well, you could've said ti earlier!" she wanted all of the sadness to go away, all the tension.
She'd make him a romantic one day.
"Let's leave this here, to be taken away in the sand by the wind," she spoke and nudged her head under his chin, "Besides, you owe me a sparring session" she winked, smiled and ran off over the dunes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:45 pm
"I already told you why I didn't though," he protested, though the rest of what he had to say faded away when she suddenly got closer.
He returned the smirk, batting at her tail with his. "Sounds good," the male said as he stood, still smiling. Without giving it another thought, Ra went after her. Everything seemed a bit more normal now, peaceful even.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
