[ Song : Reaching The Sky ] feedback?

[ReIevant]

So yea, I'll be recording this song as my 1st song on my mixtape.
Want to see people's feedback to it.
This is only the beat, and the writtens. I don't have my Mic yet.

The beat I'll be spitting it to is right HERE.

[ Reaching The Sky ]

VERSE ONE :
(Rapping starts at 0:23-ish.)

So here we go this steady flow to let you know just how it go,
so say hello to this fellow bellowin' rhymes from flo' (floor) zero.
To define this beau's glow shines mo' (more) than rose gold.
Assigned to align ya' mind like stars in the sky.
With bars in my rhyme, i put my heart in these lines.
I'm starting to find it's harder to find intelligent minds.
Yes, Relevant's fine, at best, but like a bullet proof styler's vest,
I get in the booth, protectin' youth, and bringin' the finest, yes.
I'm talented with words. (pause)
So now that you heard, go spread the word like a bird,
that the s**t i serve is absurd.
I serve the purpose to learn and teach, through words and beats.
So beseech this verbal speech with yearning reach.
I'd rather burn than keep my churning feet from murkin' beats
alert the streets, insert the heat.
I'm not concerned with becomin' elite.
See, I'mma just be a rhyma', such a wonderful feat.

Chorus :

Say Yes Yes Ya'll, Vibe into the music and Fly.
How I do this, Keep it fluent, Steady Movin ya' Mind.
Say Yes Yes Ya'll, Vibe into the music and Fly.
How I do this, Keep it fluent, Steady Movin ya' Mind.
Say Yes Yes Ya'll, Vibe into the music and Fly.
How I do this, Keep it fluent, Steady Movin ya' Mind.
Say Yes Yes Ya'll, Vibe into the music and Fly.
Never Loosin' I'm Movin' High, reaching the Sky.

(pause for short intermission during cheering)

VERSE TWO :
(Rapping starts at 1:40-ish)

I'm alive, no disguise, I rise, Surprise.
Illin' this feelin' of livin' while surpasin' limits in the sky.
I cry like a villain whose winnin' (pause) loudly.
This is astounding, chest pounding, givin' me feelin's I can fly.
And I won't reside with lies, intime,
You, too, will move with the groove steadily setting in my mind.
I'm betting, like divine, you'll be enveloped in my shine.
Like ready, set, steady yet, developin' my rhymes.
These lines'll pave ways for stages for me and mine.
Blazin' blazes of blatant banga's inside of this design.
While you're lazy educated like Devry.
Inclined to find the next source to extort to keep you high.
But I'm ahead of that, speakin' for better rap, remember that.
These silly cats, that's sitting back, go on, put on your thinking caps.
Remember that in the booth, I'll always bring truth.
Protectin' and correctin the negative affectin' the youth.

Chorus :

Say Yes Yes Ya'll, Vibe into the music and Fly.
How I do this, Keep it fluent, Steady Movin ya' Mind.
Say Yes Yes Ya'll, Vibe into the music and Fly.
How I do this, Keep it fluent, Steady Movin ya' Mind.
Say Yes Yes Ya'll, Vibe into the music and Fly.
How I do this, Keep it fluent, Steady Movin ya' Mind.
Say Yes Yes Ya'll, Vibe into the music and Fly.
Never Loosin' I'm Movin' High, reaching the Sky.

Say Yes Yes Ya'll.
 

[CustomBuild]

It's good. Steady multiple rhyme schemes, while not losing the direction of the
song. I can't wait to hear it cause I was flowin to the beat and it comes out pretty nice. Part of it felt almost felt Viro influenced, which is not a bad thing. Keep it up.  

[ReIevant]

CustomBuild

It's good. Steady multiple rhyme schemes, while not losing the direction of the
song. I can't wait to hear it cause I was flowin to the beat and it comes out pretty nice. Part of it felt almost felt Viro influenced, which is not a bad thing. Keep it up.

Yea, I love extremely lyrical emcees/songs. rofl
This song isn't even close to some of my extremely lyrical songs I have written out. x__x;;

Whose Viro? 0=  

[CustomBuild]

Viro the Virus. I think he's the best rapper not many have heard of. Check him out on youtube, anything he does with Snowgoons is pretty ill, but his album stuff is witty as hell.  

[ReIevant]

I'll have to look him up. 3nodding  

[L0rde]

its flu season! xd sick s**t my *****  

[ReIevant]

I can't wait to get my Mic. sweatdrop