*Takeru Kunshu 8th squad Captain

[Elemental Zanpaktou]

Name: Takeru Kunshu

Aliases/Nickname: None

Physical Description: Takeru has short white hair and light gray eyes, his skin tone is light brown. He is muscular and lean, he's 5 foot 11 inches tall and weighs 164 pounds. He wears a shinigami shihakusho with no sleeves, revealing a snake tattoo that wraps around his left arm. He also has a scar on his left eye and keeps his zanpaktou on his left side.

Age: Appearance: 18, Actual: 73

Zanpaktou Spirit & Name: Name:Hyoujin Suzu
Spirit: Hyoujin Suzu is a male humanoid spirit about the same height as Takeru, he looks about 24 years old. He has short black hair and red eyes. He wears a gray trench coat with gray jeans, his coat was open to show his muscular chest and six pack. He is calm and melow, he pushes Takeru to fight with all he has. He does all he can to help Takeru get stronger and achive his goals.

Zanpaktou: Sealed: Is a katana with a gray hilt and a Z shaped guard, the blade is 32 inches long. The sheathe is a swurl of black and gray.
Shikai Release: Sing, Hyoujin Suzu
Shikai:
When released into shikai, Hyoujin Suzu makes a sharp ringing noise but does not change in appearance. Whoever is within a 100 yard radius of Takeru gets caught in Hyoujin Suzu's abilities.
Shikai Powers/ Abilities: The ring that Hyoujin Suzu makes when released mixes up the the signals the brain sends to the senses of hearing, sight, and reaction. In some cases whoever hears this sharp ring vomit, but most people do bleed from there ears. For 10 posts whoever hears the ring is has double vision, seeing up to 4 Takeru's. Also their reaction time is reduced by 2 seconds and they continue hearing the ring for the 10 posts. When the 10 post limit is up, Takeru has to wait 5 posts to cause another sharp ring from his zanpaktou.
Onpa- When Takeru focuses his reiatsu into his zanpaktou and slashes it toward a target, it sends a destructive shock wave toward that target at a very high speed.

Bankai: Name: Kujo Hyoujin Suzu
When released into Bankai another sharp ring is released from the blade and can be heard from with a 300 yard radius of Takeru. There is no change in the zanpaktou's appearance, besides the guard changing to a backwards Z.
Bankai Powers/Abilities: Has the same abilities as in Shikai, such as the mixing of the opponents sense of hearing, sight, and reaction. He also can perform the Onpa. But in Bankai he gets some new abilities:
-Kinkou: By focusing his reiatsu into his zanpaktou and then clashing with another weapon, it causes a ring that disrupts his opponents navigation senses, making them off balance for 5 posts.
-Sacchi: By focusing his reiatsu into his zanpaktou, it causes a sharp ring that sounds within a 50 yard radius of Takeru. This ring will allow Takeru to control the sense of his oponents hearing for 5 posts.
Skills: Takeru is a very skilled swordsman, it is actually his favorite form of fighting. He is also pretty good at hand to hand combat, though he hasn't mastered any fighting styles yet, he is still good at hand to hand combat. He is an average kidou user, but does not use kidou a lot.

Abilities:
Bakudou:
1- Sai: Locks a target's arms in place behind their back.

4- Hainawa: An energy rope entangles the target's arms.

8- Seki: Creates a round shield that seems to temporarily paralyze and repel whatever strikes it.

9- Geki: Engulfs the target in red light, completely paralyzing them.
Incantation: "Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini!! Look upon yourself with horror and then claw out your own throat!"

9- Horin: Causes an orange hued tendril with spiraling yellow patterns to erupt from the users hand and attempt to trap a target. the end of it remains in the hands of the user allowing them to control the path of the tendril before and after capture. The Kidō is able to connect with another one of itself if both have captured a target and bind them together.
Incantation: "Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini!! Look upon yourself with horror and tear out your own throat!"

26- Kyokko: Hides the target from sight, by bending light. The spell has the ability to totally hide the presence and reiatsu of the user or specified object.

30- Shitotsu Sansen: Forming a golden triangle with one's finger, it shoots three beams of light that pin the target to one place on a surface, slamming into his or her body in three places in a shape of an equilateral triangle.

39- Enkosen: Summons a shield of condensed reiatsu to block opponents' attacks.

61- Rikujokoro: Summons six thin, wide beams of light that slam into a target's midsection, holding them in place. The target is then unable to move any part of their body including the parts that were not struck by the beams.
Incantation: "Carriage of Thunder. Bridge of a spinning wheel. With light, divide this into six!"

62- Hyapporankan: A rod formed of energy is thrown towards the target before it disintegrates into numerous short rods which are used to pin the target to the surroundings and render them immobile.

81- Danku: Creates an energy barrier in the form of a rectangular wall, it is capable of stopping destructive spells up to #89.

Hado:
1- Sho: Pushes the target away from the caster.

4- Byakurai: The user fires a concentrated, powerful lightning bolt from their finger.

31- Shakkaho: Fires a ball of red energy at a target
Incantation: "Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south!"

33- Sokatsui: Fires a burst of blue spiritual energy at a target in a similar manner to #31, but over a wider area and with more power.
Incantation: "Ye lord! Mask of flesh and bone, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Truth and temperance, upon this sinless wall of dreams unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws."

54- Haien: Fires a blast of purple spiritual energy that will incinerate a target completely when it makes contact.

63- Raikoho: Fires a massive wave of yellow energy at a target.
Incantation: "Sprinkled on the bones of the beast! Sharp tower, red crystal, steel ring. Move and become the wind, stop and become the calm. The sound of warring spears fills the empty castle!"

63- Sorin Sokatsui: Essentially a doubled version of #33 (labelled as #73 in anime), this spell fires two shots of blue fire with greater potency than the single-shot variety.
Incantation: "Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! On the wall of blue flame, inscribe a twin lotus. In the abyss of conflagration, wait at the far heavens."

Personality: Takeru is serious when he is training, in combat, or on a mission. When he is in his room or just not busy he is calm, relaxed, and likes to have a good time with friends. When he is fighting a hollow he likes to play with them like they are nothing, unless that hollow is strong. But when he faces an Arrancar he is like a comletely new person, he stops at nothing to kill an Arrancar.

Biography/History: When Takwru was born he was abandoned by his family, he was found by a woman who was a single teenage mom that had a new born of her own. When Takeru was about 10 he found out that his mother wasn't his mother and his sister wasn't his sister. He got into a car accident when he was 16, he survived but his mom and sister didn't. Even though he survived his vision was damaged, so was his hearing and he was in constant pain. He was constantly in and out of the hospital, until one day there was a shoot out and Takeru some how found himself in the middle of it.
When he came to the Soul Society his vision was perfect and he could hear everything, but he soon found out that life in the Rukon District could be dangerous sometimes. So he got a sword and learned swordsamnship and hand to hand combat. He got the scar on his left eye in a sword fight with some punk. But one day a Captain came into the Rukon District, when Takeru felt his reiatsu he was crushed. That's when he decided he wanted to become a shinigami and join one of the 13 squads and make a high ranking seat.  

[Elemental Zanpaktou]

Can someone please look over my profile?  

[Elemental Zanpaktou]

HELLOOOOOOOOO?????????? Can someone please look over my profile? I'm still waiting  

[SpokenSoftly]

I am an extremely harsh profile examiner, as any number of Guildies will tell you if you ask the right ones from TNG (an unrelated Guild to this one). Here goes:

'day purple eyes' makes no sense in the physical description. If you can find a picture instead of a text description, so much the better. If you can't, perhaps a quest thread or an artist commission?

How can he appear 16 at age 67?

while I don't exactly know the policy in this Guild, almost every Bleach guild I've ever been in has had policies against multi-elemental Zanpakuto. I'd suggest changing the Shikai to two separate release phrases, or possibly some sort of elemental combination, such as a vapor-based Zanpakuto that can burn with steam and freeze with mist (something similar to one I once ran in a separate Guild).

While Santoryu may be acceptable for the physics-negligent world of One Piece, physics apply fully in the world of tite Kubo, and the only thing that a Santoryu style is likely to get your RPC is a mouth full of broken teeth when some person decides to throw a punch at their mouth.

I don't believe that this Guild allows beginners to know Kido and Bakudo. However, as I said, I am not familiar with the practices enforced in the Guild to state this definitively.

This is a tentative list, and Fefnir can expand on it more than I can.  

[Fighting Fefnir]

Quote:

If you can find a picture instead of a text description, so much the better. If you can't, perhaps a quest thread or an artist commission?

I am always an advocate for having both a picture and a written description. As a standard, I always tell people to have written descriptions over pictures as well, unless that picture is, as suggested, an artist's rendition of your character specifically.

Quote:

How can he appear 16 at age 67?

With souls, the aging process is much slower. It's entirely possible to appear like a high school student (coughRUKIAcough) and be a few hundred years old.

Quote:

I don't believe that this Guild allows beginners to know Kido and Bakudo. However, as I said, I am not familiar with the practices enforced in the Guild to state this definitively.

You get Hadou and Bakudou 1-10 to start, and you have to train for any past that with someone who knows that spell already.

Now, on to specifics. Your physical description needs to be much more defined. Right now, your biggest defining feature is that he looks like his father... who ISN'T DESCRIBED.

Your blades are far too long for someone who is 5'7". Reasonable size would be somewhere closer to a 27-30 inch blade. The reason for a change being needed here is that you wouldn't be able to unsheathe the blades properly due to having shorter arms than necessary.

Shikai: the left blade freezing whatever it cuts. That needs to be defined as to what it can freeze and how well it can freeze it. Your other moves also need to be defined in how much energy it takes to perform the skills. Kasai Tatsumaki would be a taxing move because getting that much energy into an attack takes effort. Doragon Kokyuu would take less energy than that, but still a fairly good amount. Aisu Bakufuu will not always freeze everything it hits, and the time the thing is frozen will depend on what it is. Your ice shield also needs a limit on how much it can take, damage-wise, before it breaks.

Bankai: that shield is fine, but you have to take into account other people's power levels and elements when saying it will 'freeze anything in contact with it'. Kasai Tatsumaki needs rethinking, because you can't reach the opponent either if you trap them in the pillar or tornado. Also note that there will be people able to break out of it. Your shield detaching technique is not going to work, especially not with instant freezing of whatever it touches on a nigh undodgeable scale of projectiles.

Soshi Katana: just get rid of it. It's not something that makes sense in the context of a bankai release, since your bankai is already a more powerful version of the skills you already have.

Three sword style: also gone, since it's a clear rip from One Piece, besides being entirely detrimental to your teeth and being physically impossible to do as a human being.

Biography: expand the hell out of it. Longer, better, more details.  

[Elemental Zanpaktou]

Okay, I see what you are saying. But for right now I can not edit because I'm using my phone to get online and it wont let me edit. So what I'm going to do is post another profile on this thread, and if its approved when I can get to a computer I will edit the original post to update it on my new character. I will completely redo it.  

[Diaku]

Quote:

(Ability Name): By focusing his reiatsu into his zanpaktou and then connecting the blade with an opponent, even a little scratch will allow Takeru to control his opponents nervous system for 5 posts. Allowing him to control what they feel and cause any pain he wishes.

Get rid of this and you're in. Although the description isn't that great it will do.  

[Elemental Zanpaktou]

Alright, but I can not at this moment. I have no access to a computer, I'm online with my phone right now and it wont let me edit. So I'll fix it as soon as I'm able to get to a computer.