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The earth is our domain, but we must take it back from the darkness! 

Tags: Literate, Dragons, Knights, Delmore, Fantasy 

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Choji Kamei (shinigami, waiting for approval)

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AHRl


Nine-tailed Fox

PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:53 pm
Name: Choji Kamei

Alias(es) // Nickname(s): She likes to introduce herself as Cho. Simple, short, and sweet.

Age: She is 17 years old.

Birthday: May 16

Gender // Sexuality: She's female and straight.

Rank: (going for VC of squad three)

Height: 5'4"

Weight: 90 lbs

Size: very skinny, to the point of anorexia

Clothing: Her usual attire consists of an either tight or loose black tank top with a white-lined v-neck, which is cut short at the bottom to expose her lower stomach. Her white shorts are only a few inches long exposing the area just above her hips and her upper legs. Instead of the usual shinigami footwear, she dresses in long, lightweight black boots that outline her slim legs.

(I'll try to find a picture later for visual aid. xD)
Physical Appearance: She has a rather muscular, though abnormally skinny body for a girl. Despite her thinness, she still has a somewhat curvy figure. When her dark blue hair is let down, it reaches to the very bottom of her waist like a gentle waterfall cascade. She usually ties her hair up in a simple and light ponytail that swings side to side whenever she moves her body slightly. With piercing light blue eyes, high cheekbones, long lashes, a radiant smile, and quite heavy blush, Cho has an elegant and unique face. Cho has gotten into the habit of smiling despite whatever she is doing - talking, laughing, and sometimes even when she's sound asleep, which tends to creep people out. Though, if observed meticulously, one will notice her smile is slightly crooked, she is never hesitant to flash her inherent, perfect set of teeth.

Zanpakutou: The name is Mithril, and the spirit is a heavenly white phoenix with the ability to breathe white fire. It is rarely seen on earth, but when it is, it appears as a small white phoenix. In its original state, it is an indescribable creature no human has ever set eyes upon before. It refers to itself oftentimes as the "messenger of God." To Cho, he is her guardian angel. The elements are wind, light, and white fire.

"...as light as a feather and as tough as dragon scales." Bilbo Baggins, Lord of the Rings
Description: white handle, silver guard shaped as a crescent moon, silver reflective blade (like a mirror), charm with two moonstone beads dangling at the end of the hilt

Shikai: "Hear my prayer, Mithril."
Two things happen as Cho undergoes a transformation: her speed is increased threefold, and her katana becomes massive dual blades (as shown in picture). Cho is able to fight with this weapon despite its length and weight very well. The dual blades happens to be in the same shape as an immense bow. Thus, Cho also has the option of using her technique ‘Arrow of Light’ and her weapon as a bow if needed.

Bankai: (not yet achieved)
"Immortal Dwellers of the Skies, purge the sins of men! Bankai!"
Although the phrase is optional, as the last word if spoken, Choji's reiatsu explodes. Her eyes slowly turn blinding white, she starts to eerily glow, and she is no longer smiling. Instead, she wears an evil, possessed air about her. Her blade shatters in a high-pitched, echoing sound and forms to white angel wings attached to her back which are actually made of dangerously sharp pieces of her blade. As she flies around, she will fire her many 'blade feathers' at the opponent. After the projectiles are fired, they can no longer come back. Although she is left 'weaponless', her wings can still be used to swing around as massive heaps of blades, and they can act as very effective shields as well. As for her control over her bankai and firing, she can choose for herself and has full control over her feather blades. But as time drags on, her bankai thins over time, and her mobility starts slowing down. So basically, she has to get attacking under a time limit otherwise her bankai will run out.

Taming of the Holy Phoenix (not achieved)
"I break your bonds, Mithril!"
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
This call brings about the reincarnated form of her mysterious Zanpakutou spirit - a graceful, majestic white phoenix she tamed a magic item given to her by her mother, except it appears ten times larger than usual. She jumps onto its bare back as it soars through the vast skies and strikes at the enemy with its razor claws, body as tough as dragon scales, or intimidating beak (short range). He may also choose to breathe highly dangerous white fire ('sacred' or 'holy' fire, much more serious than normal fire), which may quickly melt things into white liquid, and in some rare cases even wipe things off from existence in seconds.

Heavenly Wind
Gather...
This gives Cho the ability to create winds varying in damage, from mild breezes to heavy stormy winds, around as a shield. Or she can choose to push it away from herself to force back opponents and / or long-range attacks.

Other Techniques (cannot be used during shikai or bankai):
The Glowing Hand: A healing technique Cho mastered in her early years that allows her to heal minor injuries by laying her hand on a person’s body.
Messenger’s Grace: This technique lets Cho gain some speed by powering a strong supply of reiatsu into her feet and arms. (lasts 3-5 own posts) *
Arrow of Light: This technique either turns Cho’s normal arrow (or just creates one out of special matter) into a shining golden arrow with a head intended to deal quick deaths. It is fired at hyper speed from any bow, but requires build-up reiatsu and energy
The Crucifixion: Produces a spirit shield in the shape of a large cross.
Shiro Kasai (White Fire, referred to as ‘sacred’ or ‘holy’ fire): Cho can release this intensely heated fire in waves either by ground or through the air. Her zanpakuto can also light up with it, turning the blade blinding white.
Mind of the Priestess: Allows Cho to read thoughts through meditation and clear focus.
Transfiguration: Cho and the area around her is enveloped by a blinding white light. Used mainly for distraction or escape.
Divine Benefactor: Adds onto Cho’s physical strength for a short amount of time. (1-3 own posts) *
Yume (Dream): This newly learned technique, which Choji is still amateur in using allows her to create an illusion of a dizzying and blurry landscape (may vary), which lasts from only 30 seconds to 2 minutes. However, using this technique can cause a clouding of her own vision afterwards.
Potent Spell (inactive): Her zanpakutou makes a high-pitched ringing sound able to knock consciousness out of an opponent for some seconds, and sparkles begin to surround them in their slumber.


Special Accessories: (I'll add a couple that I haven't included in the physical appearance section.) She is normally seen wearing a studded choker necklace, in follow of Hisagi Shuuhei. She also likes to equip her hands with short, fingerless black gloves. She also tends to wear blush (like Yachiru). Finally, she always wears a glowing lunar crescent pin in her hair.

Skills: Cho's skills in sword-fighting, long / short range attacking, and bodily combat are average. She is also a highly skilled archer(ess) and is seen very often carrying her long, elegant bow with a bunch of graceful, feathered arrows on her back. She enjoys target practicing in her squad area as a hobby, but sometimes she also enjoys very much killing Hollows in the living world by archery as well.

Kidou // Hadou // Bakudou:
Bakudou #1 - Sai ("Obstruction") This spell is used to paralyze the target.
Bakudou #9 - Geki ("Conquer") Surrounds the target in a red light that restricts movement.
Incantation: Disintegrate, black dog of Rondaniini. Look upon your burning soul and sever your throat.
Bakudou #58 - Kakushitsuijaku ("Call forth the tracing sparrow") Traces the location of a target soul.
Incantation: Heart of the south, eye of the north, fingertip of the west, heel of the east, gather by wind, and scatter by rain.
Bakudou #61 - Rikujoukourou ("Six staves of binding light") Movement of the opponent is bound by six bands of light.

Hadou #4 - Byakurai ("White lightning") Fires a bolt of lightning from the caster's finger.
Hadou #31 - Shakkahou ("Red Flame Gun") Attacks the target with a red blast of fire.
Incantation: Oh ruler, mask of flesh and blood, all creations of the universe, fluttering of the wings, ye who bears the name of man! Scorching heat and disorder, evolve the transposition of the southern sea barrier.
Hadou #33 - Soukatsui ("Blue Fireball") Fires blue fire blasts at the target.
Incantation: Oh ruler, mask of flesh and blood, all creations of the universe, fluttering of the wings, ye who bears the name of man! Truth and temperance, strike but slightly your claw upon this wall which feigns ignorance of sin!
Hadou #54 - Haien ("Incinerating Flame") Completely detroys a target by burning it to ash.
Hadou #63 - Raikouhou ("Roaring Thunder Burn") Calls forth a wave of thunder that seeks the target.
Incantation: Bone of a straggling beast, spire, crimson crystal, disc of steel, when the wind shifts, and the emptiness ceases, let the clash of lances resonate through the relinquished castle.

Other classes of Demon Arts:
Hakufuku ("White Prostration"): Causes a target to lose consciousness.
Kyoumon ("Mirror Gate"): A high class barrier that reflects attacks from the outside. However, it is easy to break from the inside.

Abilities: Cho is average in speed and strength; she has nothing special. Other than that, she knows shunpo and shikai, but has not achieved her bankai yet. She also has the ability of levitation for a few minutes. She can communicate through her mind, do a little mind-reading, and she has an exceedingly good memory.

Personality: She’s lively, funloving, outspoken, energetic, bubbly, flirty (at times), lovable, eager, adventurous, witty, carefree, and usually, if not always, happy. She is easily pleased and never loses heart. Most people would not her as the sweetest person they’ve ever met. Fighting and killing are not her type of thing, but they are done as duty of her position. She tends to be the peacemaker in troublesome situations, but her skills in combat cannot be underestimated, though they may be hidden. She is also not afraid of anything, not even death.

Biography // History: Choji Kamei was born in the city of Tokyo, Japan and knew her parents up to the age of three. Then, they disappeared for unknown reasons. Cho was sent to live with her grandmother in Karakura Town, but after a few years, even she died from cancer. Even in the midst of all this turmoil, Cho took things very well, and she was sent into an orphan house. Just a week later, a strange young lady came in, wanting to adopt her. She signed all the contracts and went all the legal issues, and finally was able to bring Cho to her home in a few days. So Cho lived with her happily, but one change was that she no longer attended school. By this time, she was seven years old. And she was home schooled by her adoptive mother, who was actually a powerful magician in disguise. She was willing to adopt Cho for the means of passing down hidden knowledge to the next generation. Many quick years passed, and when Cho was 13 years old, the woman decided that she was able to wield the magic item she possessed and failed to use successfully. It looked like a normal angel pendant, and Cho received it joyously. The woman told her nothing about its powers, and the next day, she also disappeared. Cho headed for a jewelry store to find the perfect chain for the pendant. After her purchase, just outside the shop, she put it on with a huge grin. As she looked up, she noticed a Hollow watching her with its sly yellow eyes from the top of a building. Her heart racing, she looked down the street, but it was empty. Quickly, she made a dash towards home. A few seconds later, she fell unconscious on the edge of the sidewalk, surrounded by a pool of red.

Likes: Cho loves all kinds of sweets: cupcakes, chocolate, lollipops, etc. She also loves anything with fur on it, or anything that sparkles; it catches her attention. Other things she loves are making friends, music, adventures, shopping, reading, and sketching. She’s quite an artist actually.

Dislikes: Cho is generally not a picky person, so she doesn’t have any special dislikes besides the typical things.

Other: Choji has a little white rabbit with golden leaves as ears (ref. Hermes’ Moon) as a friend pet named Kokoro. Sometimes, it will follow her around; other times it stays in her office. It has the ability to speak and also communicates to Cho through its mind. Kokoro serves as a messenger and observer to Cho because of its photographic vision and memory.
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:03 pm
Mango
a graceful, majestic white phoenix she tamed a magic item given to her by her mother,


She tamed a magical item? Or did you do that thing that I do sometimes where you think about the end of the sentence while you're writing the middle so you forget to write the middle?


The only big beefs I have with this profile are a couple of your abilities. It's a good offset to have these abilities only available in your weakest state, and they make a good primer for a release. But I have a little problem with two things about the list.

First, you really need to describe exactly HOW powerful and HOW long and HOW these things work. "Adds onto physical strength", "30 secs - 2 mins", "gain some speed". These are really arbitrary and can't be expressed well in roleplay and, most of the time, means that you could potentially get away with increasing it a lot more than it should. Just a precaution, and it helps let people know. Also, don't give actual time definitions. Go for post-lengths instead of seconds. Because no one really knows how long a 'post' could take.

Onto the shikai, if we've learned anything, it's that even in Bleach, the larger things get, the slower they move. You can't have your swords become 'massive' and have your speed increase three-fold. That's not how it works. Soi Fon and Yoruichi are fast, but they ues their bodies and really small blades for weapons. Ichigo uses a giant freaking blade in shikai/perma-release and he couldn't keep up with Renji's regular zanpaku-to. Speed and size/strength are a trade-off. So pick one. They can grow a little, but tone down the 'massive' and give us an exact size. A few inches, MAYBE a foot is okay (but less speed), but 'massive' isn't cool unless you give up your speed boost.

But the bankai is very good. I don't quite see the association between twin blades + speed and angel wings, besides the speed thing. Maybe incorporate them together a little better, considering that a bankai is a superpowered shikai. Of course, this is just a suggestion, I'm not saying it's like...a hard-written rule. It's just aesthetic kinda junk.

And for the release of the phoenix, it's a matter of trade-off again. Maybe it only has a certain number of releases before you lose it or something, or detrimental effects. I can't just let you have a really good bankai AND this ace-in-the-hole that can fly, is practically invulnerable (dragon scales), can attack, and breathe fire that melts 'things' (which makes it sound like everything).

So tone down the giant dragon-phoenix of death.


But aside from that it's alright.  

Hymn of the Silent

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