Syr
Jyotika sat in the sun, okay that was stating the obvious, more, she moped in the sun. Her cubs had all grown up now and having reached adolescence some of her children had, had to move on out in to the rogue lands. This left a guilty feeling in her heart. She knew she had not been a good mother to them, if anything they were little bundles of fluff and head ache but they were HER little bundles of fluff and head ache, which ultimately meant that she felt guilty that they were gone without so much as one word of wisdom from her.
So, she moped. kicking the sand around her usually pristine black paws. Why was she so determined to feel annoyed? They were ado's now and it wasn't like she had spent loads of time with them or even offered any words of love to the children she had spawned. She knew she could do no better than she had done, she was not a good mother and having seen her two Huria children leave from the borders just a few days prior she knew she could not change that. Guilt was not something Jyotika knew about and damn it she wanted it to just go away now, but that melancholy feeling floated around her ears and infected her mind. Why had she been a bad mother to this litter and why was she feeling so guilty about it? The answers to these questions simply escaped her.
So, she moped. kicking the sand around her usually pristine black paws. Why was she so determined to feel annoyed? They were ado's now and it wasn't like she had spent loads of time with them or even offered any words of love to the children she had spawned. She knew she could do no better than she had done, she was not a good mother and having seen her two Huria children leave from the borders just a few days prior she knew she could not change that. Guilt was not something Jyotika knew about and damn it she wanted it to just go away now, but that melancholy feeling floated around her ears and infected her mind. Why had she been a bad mother to this litter and why was she feeling so guilty about it? The answers to these questions simply escaped her.
Remove
Ny was just herself, the white lioness wandered the desert dunes as she had done so many times before. She had felt so useless for so long, just going out and hunting. Of course she looked after anyone she could and having an apprentice every now and then gave her something to do. She was bored to say the least and she missed having young cubs wandering around. She wondered sometimes whether she was a grandparents or not. Intuthu had left to join another pride with a female he had fallen for on the borders. Was she a grandmother? She couldn't help but wonder.
As she walked she noticed a female and looked at her curiously. She clearly wasn't very happy.
"You okay?" Ny wandered over to the female. She had seen her about but had never spoken to her before.
As she walked she noticed a female and looked at her curiously. She clearly wasn't very happy.
"You okay?" Ny wandered over to the female. She had seen her about but had never spoken to her before.
Syr
Jyotika lifts her head, there were a lot of white lionesses in the pride, she recognised this lioness. Certainly she had nerve conversed with her but she knew who she was by word of mouth. "Not really." She huffs looking out across the pale sands, she didn't usually speak to very many lions, let alone confiding in them, she was much too bull headed for that but she was moping and perhaps voicing her concerns would brush away this melancholy feeling.
"I saw two of my boys away yesterday. They were born Huria." She flattens her ears and growls low in her chest, she wasn't sure what this lioness would think of Huria, she wasn't in the mood for any sort of cringe from anyone. Their own father had hated them and refused to acknowledge them and she, she had been a useless mother. "I don't think I helped them. Ever." She sighs, she knew, she didn't think at all, she hadn't paid a lick of attention to any of her cubs let alone the struggling Huria cubs and now they were gone, she would never be able to help them.
"I saw two of my boys away yesterday. They were born Huria." She flattens her ears and growls low in her chest, she wasn't sure what this lioness would think of Huria, she wasn't in the mood for any sort of cringe from anyone. Their own father had hated them and refused to acknowledge them and she, she had been a useless mother. "I don't think I helped them. Ever." She sighs, she knew, she didn't think at all, she hadn't paid a lick of attention to any of her cubs let alone the struggling Huria cubs and now they were gone, she would never be able to help them.
Remove
Ny listened, her ears flicked slightly as the lioness mentioned her cubs being huria and having left. She was surprised when the female mentioned that she hadn't cared about them.
"I wouldn't worry too much, they are still better off then when my cubs were born. Any born Huria then would have either been killed or enslaved." Ny wasn't sure whether this would really be reassuring in the slightest. However it was true, Ny's cubs had they been born Huria would have been enslaved and she wouldn't have known where they would be now.
"The pride would have set up for their lives. If you have cubs again you will know not to make the same mistakes again." Yes Ny was very plain about what she said, she tended to be rather to the point.
"I wouldn't worry too much, they are still better off then when my cubs were born. Any born Huria then would have either been killed or enslaved." Ny wasn't sure whether this would really be reassuring in the slightest. However it was true, Ny's cubs had they been born Huria would have been enslaved and she wouldn't have known where they would be now.
"The pride would have set up for their lives. If you have cubs again you will know not to make the same mistakes again." Yes Ny was very plain about what she said, she tended to be rather to the point.
Syr
The dark lioness looked at the pale female, her ears flickering. She knew the line of Huria ran through her veins, certainly the browns ran in her veins and she knew if she had more cubs in the future the likelihood of her producing more huria cubs was some what higher than average, she had given birth to them once before after all.
Her brow furrows as Nuri mentions the enslavement of the Huria, would she have cared if her cubs had been slaves? She knew the answer was no, she hadn't cared enough after all to love them while they were young. She had always cared more about her own wellbeing, about being a warrior instead of a mother.
She scoffs a little at the plain speaking Nuri. "I don't know how to care for cubs, my mother did nothing to teach me and if more cubs are to come from me I wouldn't know what to change. How do you look after cubs any way?" She grumbles her ears flattening tightly against her head.
Her brow furrows as Nuri mentions the enslavement of the Huria, would she have cared if her cubs had been slaves? She knew the answer was no, she hadn't cared enough after all to love them while they were young. She had always cared more about her own wellbeing, about being a warrior instead of a mother.
She scoffs a little at the plain speaking Nuri. "I don't know how to care for cubs, my mother did nothing to teach me and if more cubs are to come from me I wouldn't know what to change. How do you look after cubs any way?" She grumbles her ears flattening tightly against her head.
Remove
Nyeupe'Moto had been a mother many many moons ago but her motherly instinct had never left her. Hearing the female asking how to be a good mother, it didn't seem to make much sense.
"You have never felt a bond with your cubs?" Ny looked at the female curiously wondering whether or not this was normal.
"Lick them a lot when they are born, it will help you bond with them." Maybe this lioness had a bad mother? Ny was really confused by it. Surely every mother knew how to look after their cubs?
"You have never felt a bond with your cubs?" Ny looked at the female curiously wondering whether or not this was normal.
"Lick them a lot when they are born, it will help you bond with them." Maybe this lioness had a bad mother? Ny was really confused by it. Surely every mother knew how to look after their cubs?
Syr
Jyotika sighs heavily. "I never really felt they were mine. They wen't exactly planned." She shakes her head, the fling with Kosuke had hardly been meant, it had been an accident and the resulting cubs were always detached from her, someone elses problem almost.
"It's odd, now they are all grown and two have left I feel a stirring in me. A guilt that I didn't do anything for them. I didn't mother them the way I see others mothering their children." She shakes her head. "I was not a good mother to them." She scoffs at her own words, another female had virtually raised her cubs for her.
"Perhaps if I have another litter.." She trailed off, what could she do differently? She had no mate after all and with no mate and no planning wouldn't she just feel the same about another litter as she did with Kosukes children? It was a very confusing conundrum.
"It's odd, now they are all grown and two have left I feel a stirring in me. A guilt that I didn't do anything for them. I didn't mother them the way I see others mothering their children." She shakes her head. "I was not a good mother to them." She scoffs at her own words, another female had virtually raised her cubs for her.
"Perhaps if I have another litter.." She trailed off, what could she do differently? She had no mate after all and with no mate and no planning wouldn't she just feel the same about another litter as she did with Kosukes children? It was a very confusing conundrum.
Remove
"Maybe the cubs just came from wrong circumstances? If you weren't keen on the father I suppose it makes sense that if there was something with the father the attachment with the cubs might be off." Though of course she wasn't overly sure about that.
"Maybe one day you will find a male worthy of your attention and love?" Ny was sure it would happen, after all wouldn't that explain a lot? "I am sure if everything is right you will see how it works and you will have the attachment you want with your cubs."
"Maybe one day you will find a male worthy of your attention and love?" Ny was sure it would happen, after all wouldn't that explain a lot? "I am sure if everything is right you will see how it works and you will have the attachment you want with your cubs."
Syr
The dark lioness nods her head lightly. "Yes, maybe that is is.." She trails off, she wasn't sure if that was it at all. She didn't know how to express the affections she wanted to. She wanted to like, to love even but it was so hard, she had even tried to take a leaf out of others books, she had tried to bond with her son as he left but it just hadn't worked and it was this that had her feeling so morbid and guilty.
"Perhaps I should find a male who isn't a bonehead." She laughs a little, a slight snorting grunt of a laugh that lacked entirely in amusement. She disliked Kosuke immensely for making her have cubs, she blamed him for making babies she could not love. In a small way she blamed her own mother for not teaching her better. Maybe though, just maybe the right guy could make it all better?
"Were you a good mother to your cubs?" It was perhaps an odd question to ask, but she felt she needed to know, she was getting advice from this female yet she had no idea if she was a good mother. She probably was, she seemed to be the only female in the world without a true maternal instinct.
"Perhaps I should find a male who isn't a bonehead." She laughs a little, a slight snorting grunt of a laugh that lacked entirely in amusement. She disliked Kosuke immensely for making her have cubs, she blamed him for making babies she could not love. In a small way she blamed her own mother for not teaching her better. Maybe though, just maybe the right guy could make it all better?
"Were you a good mother to your cubs?" It was perhaps an odd question to ask, but she felt she needed to know, she was getting advice from this female yet she had no idea if she was a good mother. She probably was, she seemed to be the only female in the world without a true maternal instinct.
Remove
Ny looked at her and nodded. She hoped so much that this female would become a good mother to some cubs one day.
"I would hope I was a good mother, many of my cubs have gone now, I walked to the borders with one of my sons who left for a female in another pride. I haven't seen him since." She let out a soft sigh, she missed Intuthu though he was never made for this pride.
"My daughter has had cubs recently and she is a good mother so I would hope that was reflected on me as well." At least Ny hoped so. She was so proud of her daughter.
"I would hope I was a good mother, many of my cubs have gone now, I walked to the borders with one of my sons who left for a female in another pride. I haven't seen him since." She let out a soft sigh, she missed Intuthu though he was never made for this pride.
"My daughter has had cubs recently and she is a good mother so I would hope that was reflected on me as well." At least Ny hoped so. She was so proud of her daughter.
Syr
Jyotika smiled lightly, it was a genuine smile, one she barely ever used she wasn't much for bonding with others, other females especially, she just didn't know how to approach them. Of course, having one to confide in seemed like a good idea, had she made a friend with her confessions? Perhaps.
"A grandmother? You hardly seem old enough. I wonder if my daughters or sons will become parents. I will never know of Dooley and Matope but the others, well they are still here." She shakes her head she could hardly be a mother, how could she become a grandmother, even if it was far in the future.
"I hope, I hope I can be a good mother. You have helped me much huh." She blinks owlishly realising suddenly she did not know the name of this lioness whom had shown her such kindness. "My name is Jyotika." She flickers her ears and laughs a single laugh "I think, you may be my friend now. I don't think I have had a friend since I was a very young cub. Thank you." She nods her head, she was genuinely impressed with herself for opening up so, for listening, for taking advice.
"You are very good at advice, perhaps in the future I may ask your advice again?"
"A grandmother? You hardly seem old enough. I wonder if my daughters or sons will become parents. I will never know of Dooley and Matope but the others, well they are still here." She shakes her head she could hardly be a mother, how could she become a grandmother, even if it was far in the future.
"I hope, I hope I can be a good mother. You have helped me much huh." She blinks owlishly realising suddenly she did not know the name of this lioness whom had shown her such kindness. "My name is Jyotika." She flickers her ears and laughs a single laugh "I think, you may be my friend now. I don't think I have had a friend since I was a very young cub. Thank you." She nods her head, she was genuinely impressed with herself for opening up so, for listening, for taking advice.
"You are very good at advice, perhaps in the future I may ask your advice again?"
Remove
Ny just smiled as she said about her hardly being old enough. Ny was old, maybe too old but she kept herself strong. She felt like she had been around an age. After all she still remembered Kimeti and all that happened of the war and before.
"I am Nyeupe'Moto, though by all means call me Ny, most do." She smiled and nodded. "I am a friend for whenever you need me and of course you can ask my advice again!" She chuckled a little and wondered whether the pride would ever have an elder rank for those like her. Who knew?
"I am Nyeupe'Moto, though by all means call me Ny, most do." She smiled and nodded. "I am a friend for whenever you need me and of course you can ask my advice again!" She chuckled a little and wondered whether the pride would ever have an elder rank for those like her. Who knew?
Syr
The darker lioness smiles a little "Ny, you can call me Jyo, though I have not been called that since I was young." She chuckles a little and shakes her head. "You are a great advisor Ny, I could not ask my own mother these questions he would not answer them." She chuckles, her magistrate mother was little interested in her.
"Are your children, with your mate? I have nerve considered a mate before." She looks deeply thoughtful, "Whats it like, having a mate? My mother did not have a mate but I knew my father." She shakes her head a little, it felt almost like she was destined to not have a mate in her life. She hoped not, she wanted to love a cub and be helped by someone, "Is it hard to find a mate?" She raises a brow and chuckles, it felt like an odd question to ask anyone, even of this lioness who knew just how to advise.
"Are your children, with your mate? I have nerve considered a mate before." She looks deeply thoughtful, "Whats it like, having a mate? My mother did not have a mate but I knew my father." She shakes her head a little, it felt almost like she was destined to not have a mate in her life. She hoped not, she wanted to love a cub and be helped by someone, "Is it hard to find a mate?" She raises a brow and chuckles, it felt like an odd question to ask anyone, even of this lioness who knew just how to advise.
Remove
"I knew Ra since I was a cub, Ra, his brother Naraka and I had a rivalry thing, though Ra and I use to get on well, that is how we grew to become mates. Much like his father he has he likes to wander. Some of my kids are here and some are gone. It's just something I have got use to." She smiled and sighed. She missed having Ra at her side, she adored him so much.
"Don't go looking for a mate, it will find you. A male you just click with." Ny looked at the sky and sighed again. Today was apparently a day for sighing.
"I do apologise Jyo but I must be off, duties to do and everything. Please come and find me if you have any more questions and just be yourself, a male will find you if you let him."
"Don't go looking for a mate, it will find you. A male you just click with." Ny looked at the sky and sighed again. Today was apparently a day for sighing.
"I do apologise Jyo but I must be off, duties to do and everything. Please come and find me if you have any more questions and just be yourself, a male will find you if you let him."
Syr
Jyotika nods lightly, her odd eyes smiling. She sighs a little and flickers her tail. "Thank you ny. I will. You have been a great help to me." She flickers her ears, she to,s he supposed, should get on with something. Maybe, well maybe she would go and speak to her other children. Was it too late to form a bond with them? She wanted to ask this of Ny, but she could hardly keep the females attention all the day long.
"Thank you Ny, truly, you have been a great help to me." She bows her head gently getting to her own paws. "I think, I will go in search of my other children." She shakes her head, it was a silly thought, search out those whom she had ignored since they were young. If she could make amends, she would, maybe, she wasn't sure if she could but certainly this little talk had inspired her enough to try.
"I will seek you out again my friend. Hopefully sooner, than later." She smiles padding off towards the dens in the hope of finding someone from her adolescent family.
"Thank you Ny, truly, you have been a great help to me." She bows her head gently getting to her own paws. "I think, I will go in search of my other children." She shakes her head, it was a silly thought, search out those whom she had ignored since they were young. If she could make amends, she would, maybe, she wasn't sure if she could but certainly this little talk had inspired her enough to try.
"I will seek you out again my friend. Hopefully sooner, than later." She smiles padding off towards the dens in the hope of finding someone from her adolescent family.
Remove
Ny smiled and nodded.
"Good luck." She nodded and then turned heading back towards her den where she knew she would be on her own again. She missed Ra so much but then that was life and she was now more then use to it.
"Good luck." She nodded and then turned heading back towards her den where she knew she would be on her own again. She missed Ra so much but then that was life and she was now more then use to it.
