I may need a little help...

[Blackjack O Hare]

I was not gonna post this but I am alone with my thoughts and I need some guidance...

I'm thinking I may probably be gay, but I'm too scared to say anything about it to anyone irl... I wish it were so easy to just say "oh hey guys I'm gay! Now who wants to get pwned on Reach?" but I can't! Can I? I do like guys! But there are these 2 girls I like... But I'm not sure if I could ever "like" them. I've been thinking about "coming out" soon, but I'm just not sure how to do it...

Anyway it seems something odd is happening around here... Litteraly as I was writing this and reading stories and advice about coming clean, 2 things happened:

My mom comes into my room, as she often does, and says

"the news just had a story about 4 teens who killed themselves because they we're gay! So now homosexual celebrities are raising awareness all around! On tv and on the Internet!"

Just as my tv said, I am watching 30 Rock lol, anyway it said: "I think the universe is sending a message, things can't get much better!"

*sighs* what do I do...? The more I read, the more comfortable I grow with myself, the more I fear of rejection. I'm not depressed and there is no way I'm going to do anything as stupid as those other teens... Freaking idiots... But I'm fearful that coming out could negatively effect my educational future... Unless I get accepted to the University of Puget Sound (near here and one of the top 20 LGBT universities) then I would come out... But I'm still nervous...

And it doesnt help that my friend who I look up to most changed his status to "I'm so sick of furfags"... I don't really care if someone says "I'm sick of furrys" but that word "f**" hit me pretty hard... I always thought I would be stronger than this...    

[Kaito Kajuji]

I know how you feel man, I still havn't come out irl about being Bi, but I will as soon as I move out and I'm gunna rub it in their faces too xD It's not that I fear they'll reject me, as they already have, but it's more I don't wanna be kicked out onto the streets when I'm so close to my goal of moving to England. All that aside, I think you should just come out and say it, do what most people are afraid to do, if they reject you so what? It's their loss really, your an awsome guy from the conversations we've had in the past. And about the Uni's not accepting you because your gay/bi, sue them, they can't do that.  

[Blackjack O Hare]

Thanks man, I just wish it were easier talk about, all my life I have been taught that people are people, I cannot be rude or mean to anyone... I just wish I had someone to talk to but even my freaking school stopped it's GSA (gay straight alliance) club... And the only person I know that can be of any help is a total jerk and I was happier when he moved away, he came back.

And I hate to even think about it but I have a chance at a full ride scholarship to one of 3 Universities, very nice schools, but they have a thing for "Christian values" and I doubt I would pass that inpection, not just for my lack of religious belief, but once again because of my sexuallity... And sure if I did get beat up or rejected because of my sexuallity and then sued them for a huge amount of cash, though hilariously awesome, I'm not sure if I could be brave enough. But if I don't come out and they reject me because of my grades or something, then atleast I know it would be fairer...  

[Kaito Kajuji]

Well you can always talk to us, I know that we of the guild will be more than happy to help you through this, and who knows, someone might live close enough to give you physical moral support ^.^ I know if I did I'd march you to that school hand in hand and yell "We're gay and proud of it! Now suck it haters!"  

[[-Erik-]]

My advice is...

If you care that much about what others think of you there is NOT SOMETHING WRONG IN YOU THAT I CAN'T FIX WITH MY HANDS something wrong with you that you need to fix.

Sure, it doesn't feel good when a friend of yours says something hurtful about you without even knowing they hurt you. But they are just words, you are a ******** mountain. Aren't you? Good.

Now if these people can't live with the fact that you are gay (or whatever you are) then they are not your friends. It might take them a while to swallow though.

I don't know how high telling your friends you are gay is on your priority list but if the don't need to know, do not tell them. The moment will come, don't rush but be ready for it as you might get a couple reactions (this is one reason why furries can be so annoying, they need to remind everybody they are so furray 4 lyf every 30 seconds, but that is anoter story).

And again, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. (Yes, I got that from Dr. Seuss)

And say what? I knew you were gay ever since I saw your avatar :]  

[Garek Maxwell]

gojiron

I do like guys! But there are these 2 girls I like... But I'm not sure if I could ever "like" them.

I'll make it easier to figure out for ya'.
Do you want to have sex with a woman? Any woman, even the most beautiful one you can imagine. If that beautiful woman ends up having a p***s and is hairy and has pecs and no boobs, then you're probably not bi. razz

gojiron

I'm thinking I may probably be gay, but I'm too scared to say anything about it to anyone irl... I wish it were so easy to just say "oh hey guys I'm gay! Now who wants to get pwned on Reach?" but I can't! Can I? I've been thinking about "coming out" soon, but I'm just not sure how to do it...

Only come out if you're sure you want to. And of course, take into consideration things like parents and friends being accepting and such. It may take them time too, dunno your folks though. Just be sure you come out because you want to, not because of outside pressures or something. As bad as it sounds too, don't feel like you have to be open about everything in your life to your friends and family. I'm not saying you have to lie or hide who you are, but if you feel it's not the time then don't feel bad for not telling them.

gojiron

My mom comes into my room, as she often does, and says
"the news just had a story about 4 teens who killed themselves because they we're gay! So now homosexual celebrities are raising awareness all around! On tv and on the Internet!"

Just be aware that coming out at the same time as these things may also send the message that you have suicidal thoughts and feelings. It's something to be aware of, so be sure if you say anything that you're doing it so you don't experience those things.

gojiron

I'm not depressed and there is no way I'm going to do anything as stupid as those other teens... Freaking idiots...

Yeah, it's comments like that which only make the situation worse. They needed compassion and caring, not someone else laying on more hate and reasons for self loathing. When people act like this, it makes them no better than the bullies or instigators towards the suicides in the first place.

gojiron

And it doesnt help that my friend who I look up to most changed his status to "I'm so sick of furpeople"... I don't really care if someone says "I'm sick of furrys" but that word " " hit me pretty hard... I always thought I would be stronger than this...

Never cared for the word either. That's why all text based iterations of it are filtered out now. What you see quoted is what I see. I'm just as sensitive about that word too, and believe it should be a sort of "banned" word by general consensus. If you never want to see this word again, you can get a text filter for Firefox:
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/6510/

gojiron

And I hate to even think about it but I have a chance at a full ride scholarship to one of 3 Universities, very nice schools, but they have a thing for " " and I doubt I would pass that inspection, not just for my lack of religious belief, but once again because of my sexuality... And sure if I did get beat up or rejected because of my sexuality and then sued them for a huge amount of cash, though hilariously awesome, I'm not sure if I could be brave enough. But if I don't come out and they reject me because of my grades or something, then at least I know it would be fairer...

Unless these other colleges offer a major you can't get elsewhere or they are some kind of mega-spectacular education experience, it's not worth it. If it's only prestige, then it doesn't matter much if at all in the working world. Also, a prestigious college can often be hell because on the inside it's crappily run. Mine, which shall remain unnamed, is rather prestigious for the area. However, how it's run and organized is terrible. You wouldn't believe some of the stupidity going on all the time...

Anyway, it's nice for education though, which is the most important. A college that teaches you AND prepares you for the working world is more important. Just because it looks pretty on the outside doesn't mean you'll get a good educational experience inside. Mine's thankfully good with education at least.

And it goes without saying, your happiness works in conjunction with your education. So if you will be miserable or always in fear at this other college, don't bother. It's not worth it.

Finally, if these colleges are private universities, then there's actually not a whole lot you can do if they reject you for not being "christian" enough. If, however, they endanger your life then you can sue them. It's generally not worth the price though, particularly if you don't survive.

If you want to try, you could sue over discrimination but you would have to take it to the supreme court and in order to be successful you will need A) A VERY good Lawyer B) The judges on your side and C) the law on your side. Challenging the law will only bring on death threats, hate mail, and the potential for the ruling to only solidify for a while the legality of discrimination. This is why some things have never actually been challenged for fear of the ruling going against equality.  

[Pent and Ten]

what makes life easier, assume people know, half the time they already do
ask guys out, play video games, ect.
people will either figure it out eventually, if they don't wanna know, they probably won't  

[Blackjack O Hare]

oh, wow thanks everyone! i guess perhaps i do care about what others think of me a bit too much, and maybe starting by telling my best friend first would have the best results in having someone to talk to.

I never really thought of just telling those i really wanted to know, and maybe they already can tell somehow.

And as far as collages go, i probably should just give up on those ones. I want to be a Forensic/Genetic Scientist and i could probably find a "kinder" collage for that purpose.

Perhaps i am rushing into things a little, this is a stressful time for me after all... i am probably going to save this conversation as a Word Document for self encouragement, Thanks everyone!  

[Psycho Lee]

gojiron

And it doesnt help that my friend who I look up to most changed his status to "I'm so sick of furfags"... I don't really care if someone says "I'm sick of furrys" but that word "f**" hit me pretty hard... I always thought I would be stronger than this...  

You're a furfåg, I'm a furfãg, we're all furfâgs! Don't be afraid to be proud of your furfāgness. Proudly embrace your inner furfăg and wield your proud title of Furfȁg like a badge. Run out into the streets and say "I AM A FURFǺG AND I AM DAMN PROUD OF IT". And never be ashamed of being a furfąg.
oᴥo

And don't even bother going to a christian university. Those places all need to burn.  

[Garek Maxwell]

Psycho Lee

You're a furfåg, I'm a furfãg, we're all furfâgs! Don't be afraid to be proud of your furfāgness. Proudly embrace your inner furfăg and wield your proud title of Furfȁg like a badge. Run out into the streets and say "I AM A FURFǺG AND I AM DAMN PROUD OF IT". And never be ashamed of being a furfąg.
oᴥo

And don't even bother going to a christian university. Those places all need to burn.

(Edit: Clarifying thingies cause I'm sick and tired and don't feel well and that messed up my reply. sad )

I personally don't like the word because 95% of the time it's used express hate. I appreciate the sentiment your trying to convey for him, but it's not going to take away the sting of it for most people.

Also, 90-99% of the time people won't write it like that. But thanks for giving me more examples to add to my filters so those will never show up either.  

[Psycho Lee]

Garek Maxwell

Psycho Lee

You're a furfåg, I'm a furfãg, we're all furfâgs! Don't be afraid to be proud of your furfāgness. Proudly embrace your inner furfăg and wield your proud title of Furfȁg like a badge. Run out into the streets and say "I AM A FURFǺG AND I AM DAMN PROUD OF IT". And never be ashamed of being a furfąg.
oᴥo

And don't even bother going to a christian university. Those places all need to burn.

(Edit: Clarifying thingies cause I'm sick and tired and don't feel well and that messed up my reply. sad )

I personally don't like the word because 95% of the time it's used express hate. I appreciate the sentiment your trying to convey for him, but it's not going to take away the sting of it for most people.

Also, 90-99% of the time people won't write it like that. But thanks for giving me more examples to add to my filters so those will never show up either.

Well, there are more unicode versions of a out there.. in various alphabets, languages, ect. Even Japanese.  

[Garek Maxwell]

Psycho Lee

Well, there are more unicode versions of a out there.. in various alphabets, languages, ect. Even Japanese.

They'll get filtered when they show up too, so then they'll never show up again. 3nodding

It's still unlikely anyone will actually bother to write them that way though. xp  

[Psycho Lee]

you do realize I did all of that to bypass your filter, right?  

[[-Erik-]]

Psycho Lee

We're all furfâgs!

I am not.

I will slit yo throat, ***** mad  

[Garek Maxwell]

Psycho Lee

you do realize I did all of that to bypass your filter, right?

You do realize that by continuing to do it, you only add to it as if it were some sort of horror movie on "The Blob", right? wink

Besides, most people out there don't do that anyway because they either don't know that I use a filter or they don't know how easy it is to filter them out. ...Or they're too lazy. Lots of reasons, but it still stands. biggrin