Bullycide in America: Education or Punishment?

[Flamemylove]

Bullycide: When a person is bullied to the point that they feel their only way to escape is death by means of taking their own life.

Recently, there have been more bullycide victims than usual. 4 in the past 2 weeks is a HUGE spike compared to what is has been in recent years.
Being a person who was bullied as a child, I understand how difficult it can be to endure, but I never once considered the thought of suicide as a means of escape because I had good support at home. Many kids don't know how to handle a situation such as being bullied, but I knew that I could go to my mother about anything. She was able to work with me in confronting the school about the problem, & when the school refused to do anything about it, my mother went to the police & then the school began to take action. Unfortunately, the bullying didn't finally stop until I was moved to a different school where there were less students, & the teachers had strict rules against bullying.

Not all kids are as lucky as I was. Not only did I have great support at home, but I was able to transfer schools. Many students don't have that luxury, or the bullying may continue even though they are attending a new school.

Here's my question for you:
What is the best way to end bullying?
Some have claimed that the best means is punishment - Bullies are punished for their actions, however, that would require that someone should 1) see the action &/or 2) report the action. Many victims are scared to come forward about their bully for fear of what their bully might do to them, & most witnesses sit back & do nothing because they simply don't want to get involved or they are afraid of getting bullied themselves.
The other means of prevention I've heard of is education - Telling students what to do or where to turn when they are bullied. Some kids don't have the luxury of having parents who are willing to act until it is too late. Teachers are often the cause or source of the problem or simply do nothing to stop it. Where else are kids supposed to go?

I have seen a vast multitude of reasons for kids being bullied, but just a few of them are:
Hair color
Eye color
Skin color
Sexual Orientation - whether actual or perceived
The way a person walks
Clothing a person wears
Relationships (who they are friends with, who they've dated, are they friends with the teacher, ect)
Food allergies

Much of the above are things that we can't change, but even if we did change it, would the bullying stop? No, our bullies would find something else to bully us for.

Many bullies will rationalize their actions:
"They never told me to stop, so I thought they liked my teasing."
"It's her own fault for being a slut."
"I wouldn't have beat him up if he weren't gay."
Is the key in educating the bullies about why their actions are wrong? What if the bullies simply don't care? Here's a story about a victim & his mom that I found online:

"...Just three weeks earlier Brutus had hurt a smaller boy, (we'll call him John), by doing a running, flying, karate kick to John's chest, knocking him to the floor. Furthermore, this attack happened in the same gym that Jared was physically beaten in. This assault was brazen because other people were in the gym, and, John's mother was watching. When Brutus was told that John's mother was watching, Brutus came threateningly towards her and lewdly made a gesture with his private body parts. John's mother considered this a gang type insult and a personal threat against her. John's mother reported this behavior and assault on her son to the proper school authorities and a police officer who took a report. They also took Brutus' account for their records. Brutus told the authorities that John "threw the first punch". John's mother said that she doesn't remember that anything was done to make amends to her or her son and felt that because she and her son were Black that the investigation into this incident was set aside and ignored."
Jared High (bullycide victim)'s mother told this story on www.jaredstory.com

What do you do about a bully who simply doesn't care? My favorite choice is prison. There will always be someone bigger than you there, but then it's a matter of the bully getting caught doing something that merits jail time, & by then, it may be too late to help the victim.

Here's another question: What can parents do when they are unaware that their children are being bullied? Should parents start asking their kids "What did you do during recess today" or other important questions? Would that make a difference, or would kids remain silent?

What do you think is the best means of stopping bullying from happening in your neighborhood? What do you think YOU can do about it?

The first thing you can do? SPEAK UP. If you see someone bullying another person, don't stand by & do nothing about it, say something! "I'm calling a teacher" is a great line. So is "I'm calling the cops." If your teachers won't do anything to stop it, the police will! Have an officer take a report of what you witnessed (or experienced). You're probably not the only person he/she has bullied, the police will be forced to step in if there are more than one complaint filed - They won't have a choice.

If you are being bullied, tell someone. A teacher, your parents, your friends, write a blog about it & post it on the internet. Your method isn't important, what's important is that you SPEAK OUT. If you keep a detailed record in a public place of what your bully does to you, someone will do something about it. It might be your parents, it might be a complete stranger, but it will be someone.

If you are worried that someone you know is considering committing suicide, IT IS ALWAYS OKAY TO ASK. I've heard people say that you shouldn't ask a person if they are suicidal because you could put the idea into their head. The concept of killing oneself is not a new idea, if they are already thinking about it, you're not going to be encouraging the idea by asking. Sometimes, all people want is for someone to care enough to ask.

Click Here to learn what the warnings signs are of a suicidal person & what you can do to help. (Courtesy of the Trevor Lifeline)

For Americans, here are a few helpful resources:
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
The Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (488-7386), for gay or questioning youth, or anyone who simply needs someone to talk to.
1-800-799-4TTY (4889), for the deaf
If you don't live in America, I'm afraid you'll have to do your own search for these types of numbers.
If you are considering suicide, for ANY reason, seek help! Don't let yourself suffer in silence - you don't have to be alone. There are many places to go, people to turn to, etc. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I promise you, things will get better.

DISCUSS:
What do you think you, as an individual, can do to put an end to bullying & bullycide?
What do you think we, as a group, should do about it?
What do you think the government can/should do about it?
What do you think parents of bullied children should do?
What do you think parents of bullies should do to end the problem?
Your own opinions on bullying & suicide.
Other resources you've found to help.  

[FaithBlack1]

I know it's a little late for this, but did you know that today is International Bullying Awareness Day? You're supposed to wear blue today to help raise awareness.  

[Anubisbubble]

omg I can't beleive I just read all that, my head hurts!  

[YO YO MAMA_1987]

Anubisbubble

omg I can't beleive I just read all that, my head hurts!

Um... You're aware of what subforum you're in... right?

Anyways, this is going to be slightly off topic, but I want to rant about it.

I was on myspace the other day when a friend sent me an event invitation, telling me to wear purple on the 20th or whatever to "remember those 6 gay kids who died." I was pissed! First of all, only FOUR of those boys were actually gay. The other two had bullies who called them gay - There's a difference between being called gay and being gay... and that's exactly why two of those boys killed themselves.
I have nothing against gay kids, but you're not helping a dead victim by mislabeling him the same way his bullies did.  

[FaithBlack]

YO YO MAMA_1987

Anubisbubble

omg I can't beleive I just read all that, my head hurts!

Um... You're aware of what subforum you're in... right?

Anyways, this is going to be slightly off topic, but I want to rant about it.

I was on myspace the other day when a friend sent me an event invitation, telling me to wear purple on the 20th or whatever to "remember those 6 gay kids who died." I was pissed! First of all, only FOUR of those boys were actually gay. The other two had bullies who called them gay - There's a difference between being called gay and being gay... and that's exactly why two of those boys killed themselves.
I have nothing against gay kids, but you're not helping a dead victim by mislabeling him the same way his bullies did.

I couldn't have said it better myself.
I got that invitation as well, from a stranger. When I corrected her typo in the event description, she canceled her invitation & deleted me from her friends list. Quite rude.  

[Amethyst Bath and Beauty]

What do you think you, as an individual, can do to put an end to bullying & bullycide?
As an individual, I take steps to stop bullying every chance I get. All it takes is a simple "Knock it off." As it's been said before, sometimes, that's all it takes to prevent bullycide. Just standing up for some one can do so much.

What do you think we, as a group, should do about it?
Talking about it already seems to be making a difference. As long as we talk about, we're addressing the problem, which is a lot more than can be said about other people. Also, I think it would help if everyone went to their schools & gathered a group of people together to confront their school staff on the issue & brainstorm some ideas their schools can use to minimize the bullying.

What do you think the government can/should do about it?
If we can get some laws passed that state that schools HAVE to do something about bullying, that would be awesome, but I don't think it should be limited to schools. Nurseries & daycare centers could use some help too in this area.

What do you think parents of bullied children should do?
Parents need to tell their kids that they can come to them about anything. Or simply ask "Are you getting bullied in school?" It's not like it's hard to tell when a kid has had a bad day at school. If it's been a good day, the kid will be smiling when you pick them up. If it's been a bad day, the kid's gonna wanna be left alone. Be proactive in your child's protection & safety, for God's sake! Don't just trust that the school authorities will handle it. They often don't.

What do you think parents of bullies should do to end the problem?
Punish your kids, for one. Bullies often have parents who simply don't care, or aren't willing to accept the fact that their bad parenting skills have brought up a hellspawn. They need to understand that they're not protecting their kids by denying that they haven't been properly disciplined. Bullies usually end up in trouble with the law before they reach adulthood. Parents of bullies never realize the damage they've done until it's too late. Do us all a favor & do something sooner rather than later. If you can't raise your kids properly, you shouldn't have them, but that's a matter for another thread.

Suicide is a tragedy as it is, but to know that it could have been prevented, if only some one would have even pretended to care is the worst kind of tragedy. I, personally, am volunteering to listen to people who want to talk. Just send a message my way & I'll get back to you ASAP.