Submission...being the runt of the litter.

[DieF1228]

Hey, guys! I'm a gay furry...But lately I've been wondering about a relationship...I feel as though my mate shouldn't just be my lover, but also a "big brother" or "fatherly" figure. I've lived a life in which I've feared the return of my biological father, but also with the thought that my step father didn't love me. I'm not sure if what I want is 'normal' so to say...But I'm also not sure if anyone would be willing to fill that position...Suggestions?  

[Psycho Lee]

ha, so you want a "bear" gay guy. I'd recommend trying at the Blue Oyster. Or join the Village People. mrgreen  

[DieF1228]

Umm...Are you talking about Guilds...?  

[YukoraDragonheart]

I think it's normal enough, darlin'. And there are people who are naturally like that with their loves.

 

[Dumnezeirea]

hmm, I know what thats like, (at least the part about wanting a strong guy)
and it is quite hard to find,
but keep looking
PS if you really want a slightly higher chance I'd use the term you are looking for as a 'Seme'  

[DieF1228]

Oh, seme and uke! Duh, why didn't I think of that?!
Thanks guys! I'm sure I'll find him...  

[YukoraDragonheart]

DieF1228

Oh, seme and uke! Duh, why didn't I think of that?!
Thanks guys! I'm sure I'll find him...

'course you will, darlin'. ^^
The trick is to keep an open mind and never give up.
=3= Which can get awful hard.

 

[Sadinda]

if you're 18, check out fetlife.com  

[Garek Maxwell]

A dom/sub relationship isn't such a big deal, but verging on father-figure can make things very complicated and potentially messy.

Things to watch out for:

1. A growing lack of personal life.
2. Inability to speak your mind.
3. Hostile reactions towards friends.
4. Lack of interest in your opinions, thoughts, feelings.
5. Isolating you from the public.
6. Demeaning or belittling comments.
7. And of course, the biggest being violence.

These are warning signs that the relationship is NOT HEALTHY. Get out of it, or work out these issues if you feel it's possible. The moment violence happens, get away, go to the police, do whatever you can to get away.

Just some things to watch out for in terms of an unhealthy relationship. These sorts of relationships are prone to these dangers, along with the dom/sub kind.  

[Wolfheart1125]

It may get difficult on your mate if you expect him to be a fatherly figure to you. It a big burden to put on your mate. Best friend- yes. Fatherly figure- not so much....  

[DarkScarlettVixen]

I was just about to say that Wolf! (Great minds, whoo!) Whoever your significant other is, they should first of all be your bestest best friend in the world. Fatherly figures can be found other places, someone who's in your life that you admire but not your lover.  

[Artemis Vulpes]

Ah, the daddy complex. It makes naive boys and girls such easy pray for those wanting little more than sex because it is so easy to act like you actually care.

For me a mate should not be something like a child, or younger sibling, to me just because I have a strong and neutering personality. Sure as hell do not wanting them taking a parental, or older sibling, role.

No, for me a mate should be your best friend and I mean your very best friend. I know there are people out there that have there s/o and then they have their best friend, who is someone else, but to me they should be one in the same, there should be no one even close to the same level to how you feel and interact with your lover. They are your partner in life, they are your companion, your confidant. They are suppose to be the one person that, no matter how bad things get will help pull you along and together you work to make things better for one another.

There should be no boss in the relationship, there should not be one that is dominate over the other, one that is meek and mild and needs to be tended to by the stronger more dominate one in the relationship. Frankly, as being one that is more dominate I have met my share of more submissive types of people and while they make good rape material, they are far too unreliable and weak to make for a good partner. An alpha should not bed with an omega, simple as that.

Well, you know, that is at least my take on it. I will forever act as the big brother around people because I enjoy that role, but I thank god my mate is someone of a strong personality and does not need me to be like a father to them. But oh, I am still their daddy, that is for damn sure.