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 Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:03 pm
Eppie was far from a happy camper at the moment. She had encountered Gerda earlier in the day, but that wasn't nearly the worst part of her story. She had found at at the end of their very uncomfortable and snarky remark filled conversation that Gerda was pregnant, something Jozo decided not to inform her about and it caused such a fury in her towards him that she couldn't possibly describe it.
She paced back and forth in her den with her thoughts flying about her head. She couldn't blame Gerda for this instance, as Jozo was the one who decided to mount the dar whore for the second time and get her pregnant. She figured that after the big mistake of pledging himself to Gerda and cheating on her that he would attempt not to make anymore stupid decisions. Just because he was now Gerda's mate didn't mean he had to make more children with her. Especially considering the fact he was secretly coming to see her. If anyone should be bearing children right now, it was Eppie.
"I could just... ARGH," Eppie hissed, rearing back and smacking her paws against the wall, attempting to hold back a sob.
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:33 pm
Jozo was free. Well, not completely free. Free from Gerda, and right now, that was all that mattered. He was free to go see his beloved Eppie for the first time in what felt like years. Gerda was busying herself with cleaning the den and preparing for cubs; she wouldn't follow him. He'd excused himself urgently and skirted 'round the edges of the pridal lands, hurrying along to Eppie's den.
When he drew close, he couldn't stop the huge grin that stretched across his muzzle. It went from ear to ear and as he stepped into the entrance of her den, he heard a dull thud and warily called out, "Eppie?"
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:53 pm
Eppie's hackles went up quickly as she heard Jozo's voice. He had startled her as she let her thoughts and contempt swirl around in her head like a virus. Taking a moment to attempt to calm herself down, she approached the mouth of her den, her eyes a tad glossy from the tears she had been holding back all day. Looking up at Jozo, she went very quiet.
"Yes, Jozo?" She said, her voice quiet, but shakey. She wanted to yell at him. She wanted to demand answers from him and tell him that he made the dumbest choices of anyone she had ever met. She wanted to tell him she deserved better and to not come see her ever again, but she couldn't. For all his fault and all his mistakes she still loved him completely and blindly like the follower of a cult.
"Is there something you wanted?"
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:58 pm
Jozo slowly, almost hesitantly stepped a bit closer. She was not acting her normal, happy and forever-loving self. This was not the Eppie he knew. This Eppie with the trembling voice seemed upset, but at what? Frowning softly, he continued moving forward. "Only you, love." His voice was a mere whisper, his eyes unsure. "Does something trouble you?"
He went in for a soft nuzzle against her cheek. Perhaps his show of affection would make her feel better, even if he didn't know what was bothering her. "I have missed you, dearest heart." And he had, with every ounce of his being. Away from her he felt like half a lion. With her, he was complete.
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:12 pm
Eppie didn't push him away, but she didn't invite further affections either. She didn't quite know what she should do or how she should breach the topic of conversation in her brain without sounding absolutely pissy with him. Not finding any suitable way to express her emotions aside from beating him with her paws, sobbing and calling him a terrible cheat she simply looked away from him.
"You missed me so much, yet you found time to sire children with her," She said quietly.
Yeah, she knew. She would have rather have heard it from him, or even the inkling of the fact Gerda was pushing him to try. At least than she might have been able to swallow it gracefully and hope that she wouldn't be called to help birth children that should be in her womb, once again.
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:22 pm
Oh. OH. Ugh, she knew. She hadn't heard it from his own lips, as he would have wished. That left only one other. Gerda. He growled deep in his throat, fury and rage eating away at his innards like so much acid. He tried to tolerate her petty neediness and awkward advances. He was nice to Gerda, patient with her, understanding about her illness. How did she repay him? By approaching Eppie and outright flaunting her pregnancy.
He exhaled, the sound coming out as more of a hiss than anything else. He was furious, a hot fire burning deep in his dark eyes. "I did it for us, Eppie. For you and I." He couldn't explain it without sounding like a horrible lion, but he had to try. He couldn't lose Eppie, not now, not now. "I thought that if she was fat and weak with cubs, she would not be able to follow me around, tracking my every move, waiting around every shadowed corner." Frustration was evident in his voice. "I wanted to be the one to tell you, to explain my reasons for siring her cubs."
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:37 pm
"I suppose..." Eppie said, mostly a reassurance for herself than for him. His reasoning made sense, even though she had wanted it to be her that sired his first batch of healthy and bubbly cubs. It should have been her. Even if Gerda was his mate in name alone, it was Eppie's right.
"It will be easier to see you if she can't move," Eppie said quietly, a couple tears rolling down her cheek. She wasn't fully over the fact that Gerda was the one carrying cubs at the moment, but with time she'd adjust. She had always adjusted to whatever had been thrown at her, ever since the first indication of illness. "It'll give us more time together, too."
"I'm sorry, I'm just..." She said, trembling, "She flaunted it in front of the other Nanny and the little ones. Like she's trying to get me to snap at her. In front of children."
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 8:27 am
"Gerda is jealous," Jozo said bluntly, moving forward to groom the tears from her cheeks. It made his heart ache to see his Eppie cry, especially knowing that he had been part of the reason for her tears. "She knows I am with her only because of duty; my heart remains with you, forever and always. I think part of her hopes that having these cubs will bring us together... maybe she even thinks that I will fall in love with her once she births live cubs." He pulled back just far enough so that he might look Eppie right in her pretty eyes. "That is not, nor will it ever be the case. I swear that to you, Eppie."
He brushed his nose against hers, trying to soothe her even though inwardly he seethed at Gerda. "I want to be a father to OUR cubs. Yours and mine. That is my dream, Eppie."
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:07 am
Eppie knew Gerda was jealous. She had always been, and though she had her small victory when Jozo made the mistake of pledging himself to her in front of the pride, she was still the ultimate loser. Sure, she had a mate, but he didn't love her. Eppie wasn't even sure if Jozo much liked Gerda. She was sure there had to be some good points to Gerda somewhere, but through her anger and spite of the dark colored female, she couldn't come up with any. All she saw was wickedness that tore apart her and Jozo, if only briefly.
"I know it is, Jozo," She said quietly, returning the brush upon his nose. She knew deep down he loved her and wanted to build a family with her, but she couldn't let it not bother her. She knew his reasoning behind it, but at the same time did this mean he was going to scorn children who did nothing wrong?
"Jozo, you have to promise me something," She said sternly, looking into his eyes. There was no hate or anger, no negativity, just purpose. "You have to promise me that you'll be a good Dad to those cubs. You may have sired them so we could spend more time together and to keep Gerda out of the way, but they shouldn't be made to suffer. Alright? They're only children, after all..."
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:18 am
She was asking the impossible of him. He didn't want to be a good father to Gerda's children; they'd just been a diversion so that he was free to spend time with Eppie without fear of Gerda traipsing along after him. But now... now that Eppie had asked him to promise to be a good father to Gerda's cubs... well, he would do whatever his love asked of him.
"I promise I will be the best father I can be to them, Eppie." He spoke with devotion to this pledge. To break this promise would be to break his word to Eppie, and he could never do such a thing. He loved her too much to risk hurting her more than he had already. "You are such a soft soul, Eppie. And you know me too well. It is as if you are in my mind. Your gentleness is one of the things I love about you, my dearest soul."
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 11:00 am
Eppie knew what she asked of him would be a hard task for him, but she knew that if she didn't than he would very well ignore those children, and even now he still might. He resented Gerda just as much as she did, but despite that deep seeded resent there was no reason to punish innocent children who didn't ask to be brought into a world where they were unwanted. If anything, by making Jozo promise this to her, they'd have a semi-decent upbringing.
A mother who would use them to their advantage and a father who only sired them to quiet the mother, and Eppie who this whole action was done for. Sometimes Eppie wondered whether or not she was such a soft soul or a cruel, heartless mistress. It all made her sigh inside.
"Come inside, Jozo. Before someone sees us," Eppie said quietly, licking the side of his face. They would talk more of everything inside her den, or not talk at all. either way, Jozo was in her company and she would keep him hear as long as she was able.
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