Pagan Weddings

[IEditYourWorld]

Hi all.

Now this might seem a bit different, but one of the biggest reasons I joined this guild is because I work in the wedding industry. I am a wedding videographer, meaning that I video tape and edit weddings for a living. It's a fantastic job, and I love working with couples who are thrilled to be joining their lives together as husband and wife.

To clarify this even further, I myself do not practice Wicca. I'm a Catholic, but not a cram the bible down your throat so you can poop it out in the name of Jesus Christ kind of Catholic. Those people just scare me.

Anyway, I have seen and filmed mostly Catholic ceremonies, one Jewish ceremony, one Greek Orthodox ceremony (they repeat everything three times), a few Lutheran, a few Methodist ceremonies, and a few Non-Denominational ceremonies. I have never been asked to film a Wiccan wedding before, and quite frankly if I ever get asked to film one I would like to be prepared.

To better explain my desire to be prepared, I feel I must explain my love for weddings in general. Weddings are a beautiful bonding of two lives. They are a bond that transcends just the couple, extending onto their families and friends. It is a bond designed to grow over time in a mixture of unique and traditional ways. No two bonds are alike because no two couples are alike. They as a couple are defined by their likes, dislikes, beliefs, spiritual background, family background, employment, you name it. Because of that each couple deserves to have their wedding day treated with the care and respect that their special day deserves. A wedding day is the springboard for bigger and better things, and I want to be there to capture all the special things that make that day what it is on film!

To sum things up, I need help learning about Wiccan weddings. I want to learn what differentiates a Wiccan wedding from other types of weddings. What can I expect in a Wiccan ceremony and reception. What ways can I treat a Wiccan bride and groom with the respect that their wedding day deserves?

Any feedback is most appreciated.
IEditYourWorld  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

I don't think there's a great deal that ties them all together. I'm going to assume you're talking "Pagan" weddings rather than Wiccan ones, as anything actually "Wiccan" in context probably wouldn't be involved in any wedding in which other people, i.e. non-Wiccans, were invited. From what background you've given it's not even clear whether this is a "handfasting", or just a general non-religious wedding ceremony in which the couple in question happen to be Wiccan (or possibly Eclectic Neo-Pagans).

Really you'll just have to ask the couple themselves, I think.

Edit: In handfastings, it's common practice to literally bind the couple's hands together. They may also jump over a broom.  

[IEditYourWorld]

Quote:

I don't think there's a great deal that ties them all together. I'm going to assume you're talking "Pagan" weddings rather than Wiccan ones, as anything actually "Wiccan" in context probably wouldn't be involved in any wedding in which other people, i.e. non-Wiccans, were invited.

There's mistake number one for me. redface But this is why I am asking. I thank you for correcting me so that I may not make that mistake again. I went ahead and changed the topic title so as to correct that foolish mistake.

Quote:

From what background you've given it's not even clear whether this is a "handfasting", or just a general non-religious wedding ceremony in which the couple in question happen to be Wiccan (or possibly Eclectic Neo-Pagans).

I hadn't even realized there was a difference, but please elaborate. The closest I have seen to a non-religious ceremony was an outdoor wedding with a rent-a-priest where the couple had him there to appease his mother. The bride and groom simply explained to me that they weren't particularly religious and chose to leave it at that.

Admittedly, the thing I remember most about that wedding was being chased by a Canadian goose who wanted to steal my headphones before the couple got there. Not a happy time on that, especially since the camera was still on and I was recorded calling the goose some rather mean things. That ended up being shown at the company meeting while everyone got a chuckle at me calling it everything under the sun as it hissed and pecked at me. I swear those things have an evil streak, but that may be due to watching too many Hitchcock movies.

Quote:

Edit: In handfastings, it's common practice to literally bind the couple's hands together. They may also jump over a broom.

I've seen that done once by a couple who enjoyed historical reenactments at the Daniel Boone Home. They had said it was an old tradition, but did not mention anything about Pagan practices. They got married in dated clothing and it was so neat. They even made all the reception food and had fiddlers playing at their reception. Great memory there.

Thank you for your input.
IEditYourWorld  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

Quote:

I hadn't even realized there was a difference, but please elaborate. The closest I have seen to a non-religious ceremony was an outdoor wedding with a rent-a-priest where the couple had him there to appease his mother.

You and I must live in very different places. Here non-religious ceremonies seem to be pretty normal. I've never been to a wedding that was actually in a church.

The couple might have a handfasting as a part of a religious ritual with their religious friends, and then a wedding later to make the union legal with a wider selection of friends and family. It depends on what religion they practice, what their personal thoughts and feelings are regarding being bound together in their religious and spiritual lives vs legally and whether they want both in one ceremony, whether their friends and family would be open to a wedding involving their religion, and indeed whether their friends and family are aware of their religion.  

[IEditYourWorld]

Quote:

You and I must live in very different places. Here non-religious ceremonies seem to be pretty normal. I've never been to a wedding that was actually in a church.

I live in St. Louis, Missouri. St. Louis has a lot of Catholics, which is why I film mostly Catholic ceremonies and church ceremonies. The city has loads of historic churches. The suburbs have some nice churches as well. There are also a good deal of parks in St. Louis, some with plenty of historic places for people to get married outdoors. Forest Park is one of those places, but Faust Park and the Missouri Botanical Gardens are also very popular, as well as smaller local parks. Conservation has become popular around St. Louis, and our parks are just lovely. (They'd be perfect if not for those pesky headphone stealing Canadian geese!)

Quote:

The couple might have a handfasting as a part of a religious ritual with their religious friends, and then a wedding later to make the union legal with a wider selection of friends and family. It depends on what religion they practice, what their personal thoughts and feelings are regarding being bound together in their religious and spiritual lives vs legally and whether they want both in one ceremony, whether their friends and family would be open to a wedding involving their religion, and indeed whether their friends and family are aware of their religion.

In my pre-call with the couple, they just said that it was an old fashioned ceremony. They had a priest who did services at a church near the Boone Home, and it played out much like a Catholic wedding. I honestly didn't think anything of it at the time, mostly because I was so caught up in how neat it all was. I love old time clothes though, so I was in hog heaven with the visuals.

Thank you for your continued help.
IEditYourWorld  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

IEditYourWorld

I live in St. Louis, Missouri. St. Louis has a lot of Catholics, which is why I film mostly Catholic ceremonies and church ceremonies. The city has loads of historic churches. The suburbs have some nice churches as well. There are also a good deal of parks in St. Louis, some with plenty of historic places for people to get married outdoors. Forest Park is one of those places, but Faust Park and the Missouri Botanical Gardens are also very popular, as well as smaller local parks. Conservation has become popular around St. Louis, and our parks are just lovely. (They'd be perfect if not for those pesky headphone stealing Canadian geese!)

Faust Park sounds awesome. I'd be very disappointed if there weren't statues of Mephistopholes and the possibility of losing your soul by visiting razz

I'm probably not the best person to help anyway. I don't really understand the point of weddings.  

[kyndryana3]

I think that there is such a huge amount of variation possible, it would be hard to make a list of things that you are likely to find at a Pagan wedding.

The best advice I could give is that when you are contacted by the wedding party, ask to speak with someone who is familiar with what that particular couple is going to be doing in their ceremony, who can explain it to you. This way, you will have a basic idea of not only what is going to be happening, but which parts might be the most important, so that you can be in a good position to capture them.  

[kasai_angel]

I'm a pagan-bride-to-be and i plan on doing a hand fasting(made the broom myself and everything ^^) My family is very Irish and mostly catholic so i am designing the ceremony myself to be pretty non-specific(I don't have a particular god or goddess that i follow anyways. ">>) Only my close family knows that I'm pagan(parents etc.) and there fairly accepting.

As to what expect during a ceremony: They are all different. No one hand-fasting or pagan wedding ceremony is the same. Like myself, most brides and grooms are probably designing the ceremonies themselves, possibly with suggestions from a pagan priestess or priest. ^^"

The best advice i can give you: Keep an open mind.  

[Morgandria]

I had a handfasting in 2006. This was preceded by a betrothal for a year and a day, in 2005. Mostly it's for couples who haven't lived together long-term, as my husband and I had at that point, but it's still part of my tradition's handfasting rites so we did it anyway. There's lots of specific bits and pieces for these rites you have to have, or do...but I couldn't say if they were tradition-specific, or merely things that my high priesthood has added to the core. Both rituals are considered "outer-court" - we had guests at both rites.

We aren't legally married, though. In Canada Wiccan priesthood are not considered legal priesthood unless they jump through a whole bunch of government hoops to legally become a minister.

Someday we'll have some sort of thing where we sign a liscense and have a party for friends and family. Mostly right now we just don't care, since we've been common-law spouses since 1999.

-----------------------------

I presided over a handfasting in Michigan in 2007. I went through the ceremony step-by-step with their photographer about 5 times, so she knew where and how to move with the couple as they progressed around the circle and back to the altar.

I think that's really your best bet. Find the officiant, who is going to know the ritual, and ask them to go through it with you.  

[Esiris]

Morgandria

I think that's really your best bet. Find the officiant, who is going to know the ritual, and ask them to go through it with you.

I'm with Morgandria on this part.
I've officiated a couple Christian weddings, some pagan ones and a few Collaring Ceremonies. The blocking is important to make sure the ceremony goes smoothly.

The pagan weddings I have done have always had more blocking than the Christian ones- but they're all so different that finding the officiant and having them talk to you about it is the best way to go.  

[IEditYourWorld]

Thank you all for your feedback! You don't know how much this has helped me get ideas of what I can look forward to in a pagan wedding.

The best idea you all have given me is talking to the officiant. While normally I chat same day with officiants, asking a pagan bride and groom for the officiant's phone number is a great idea. It'll help me get the best shots for my brides and grooms.

Oh, and congratulations kasai_angel! Best of everything on your wedding day, and in your overall marriage. I'd love to hear some of your wedding plans and see some of your wedding pictures.

And Sanguina Cruenta, I hate to disappoint, but Faust Park doesn't have statues. It's got a Butterfly House and a Carousel House. The Butterfly House is serene and beautiful though, and really fun to film in. The Carousel House is nice, but it's just a big place with a carousel in it that you can pay to ride. No where near as much fun to film as the Butterfly House.

Thank you all.
IEditYourWorld  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

IEditYourWorld

And Sanguina Cruenta, I hate to disappoint, but Faust Park doesn't have statues. It's got a Butterfly House and a Carousel House. The Butterfly House is serene and beautiful though, and really fun to film in. The Carousel House is nice, but it's just a big place with a carousel in it that you can pay to ride. No where near as much fun to film as the Butterfly House.

Thank you all.
IEditYourWorld

...are the horses on the carousel dread-steeds straight from hell?  

[IEditYourWorld]

Quote:

...are the horses on the carousel dread-steeds straight from hell?

I would say that depends on the type of bride riding it. If it's a bridezilla than it wouldn't surprise me... Most brides are very nice girls and a joy to work with, but every once in a while you run into those nasty ones.

Here's a little bit of information about Faust Park. If you're ever in St. Louis, it's worth a look:
http://www.stlouisco.com/parks/faust_home.html

All in your perspective.
IEditYourWorld  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

IEditYourWorld

Quote:

...are the horses on the carousel dread-steeds straight from hell?

I would say that depends on the type of bride riding it. If it's a bridezilla than it wouldn't surprise me... Most brides are very nice girls and a joy to work with, but every once in a while you run into those nasty ones.

Here's a little bit of information about Faust Park. If you're ever in St. Louis, it's worth a look:
http://www.stlouisco.com/parks/faust_home.html

All in your perspective.
IEditYourWorld

Well shucks! That doesn't look at all Faustian!  

[Esiris]

San- you crack me up!