The worst Problem ever. HELP ME ;c

[JanilIa]

Mhie-Chan has something to say,

Frst of all, I'm just 14 and I was an only child back then in this story...
(sorry for taglish) ; A ;

My parents did not actually got married, idk if they did civil(I don't think they did) Then I grew up as a normal child with both my parents. NOT KNOWING EVRYTHING. Then when I was 6, My mom left home. She went to America and married another man. And I was so sad. SOOOOOO SAD. Then my dad introduced me to his new wife. And this time they got married(just last year) Shes a good person though. So I accept her as my mom.

After a few years, when I was in Grade 4, I was able to talk to my mom via Yahoo. She didn't tell me a lot of things. But she sent me packages. She keeps on telling me to come with her on America just to get that "Green Card" so that I can visit America with no hardships. Then at grade 6. She told me that she'll give me a bike. Then she told me a lot of things about his family there. She said that she has 2 stepsons and 1 stepdaughter. She even showed me his husband on the cam. Deep inside I was crying and couldn't accept it but I just smiled. (My dad was in Manila so he didn't know)

Then just last year, I was a 1st year student, My mom called through the telephone. She explained to me somethings about the past. And she told me that she really didn't want to leave me but she did leave me because shes afraid that my dad would commit suicide... Then My dad knew that I had communication with my mom. He called me on my cellphone, and talked to me. He told me na "promise mo sakin n wag kang sasama sa mama mo". While talking I could hear him cry. I know he wasn't lying. And I never had any intention of going with her in the first place.

And the problem is this...
My mom still tries to contact me. Even though my dad doesn't want me to.
And I really don't want to talk to her either. But she posted on my Facebook that "My daughter doesn't want to talk to me anymore" and blah blah blah... I don't know if I should even talk to her. I know she'll just talk about the past and all. But I don't even care about the past. PAST is PAST.
I love my Dad and my Stepmom. But I don't love her that much anymore. :S She gave me so much pain already.

...And that is all.

 

[jerico081]

Pwede mo pa naman kausapin kahit through phone or net mama mo para alam din nya kung ano na ng yayari sa buhay mo pero sabihin mo na lang din na mas masaya ka dito sa Pilipinas. Pero ikaw bahala pakiramdam ko medo may konting bitterness ka sa kanya. Syempre hindi ko naman alam buong istorya kaya sa kwento mo lang ako nag be-base.  

[TetraHydroChloride Dub]

lam mo poh ate .. un na nga po snbe mo n umiyak dad mo while talking to you kc totoo un nangyare .. which is for sure na mom mo tlga my mali .. pero tell to your dad that your not gonna come with your mom in states .. maging masya ka kung anung meron ka .. kc ung ibang tao hindi katulad mo na kumpleto pa den at my nag aaruga sayo ..

paki add n lng ako ^_^

for more advices  

[Sumiko Aimi]

Walang hiya ka SIS hikari crying pinaiyak mo ako..amp.., pero ito pwede mo rin sigurung kausapin ung papa mo tungkol sa communication nio ng mama mo.Tsaka d mo maikakaila na ang parents ay mag aalala sa kanilang mga anak right?Tapos, in the first place mama mo sia kaya may right rin syang mag communicate sau sis at icheck status mo ngaun kung ok klng (like that like that) But kung talagang iniinsist nya na sumama ka sakanya d ko masasabe yan kasi ikaw lng makakapagdecide nyan (pero siguru d ka sasama, may konting hatred ka sa mama mo eee)kung d ka sasama sa mom mo well sabihin mo sakanyang masaya na kayu ditu and infact ur stepmom really treats u like her real daughter, right? (eh kung dun ka marame kapang ieentertain about ur outside sis/bro and exactly ur stepdad. but if ever na aalis ka sa side ng papa mo just tell him ur reason calmly siguru maiintindihan karen nya, kasi nga mahal ka nya biggrin

pero Sis ikaw lang makakadecide nyan...ganito lng yan "piliin mo kung saan ka mas masaya at kung saan ka mascomportable"
(alam ko sa papa mo halata sa story telling mo, "but" if I were you sa PAPA mo ako papanig biggrin )

SANA this could help a little<

~Sis Megumi~  

[Happy Pantherlily]

you're dad is one great man. nakakaiyak naman. pero advice ko ate, iba pa rin kasi ang love ng totoong nanay. so wag mo siyang pipigilan na macontact ka, yung oras pa lang na magkausap kayo, kahit nonsense usapan, basta marinig niya boses mo, masarap na feeling na yun para sa kanya.

at least you're happy on your father's side. love your stepmom but not as much as your love with your REAL mom. iba pa rin dapat kung saang sinapupunan ka nanggaling.  

[Oinkette]

Ate, just explain how you feel to your mother. If you miss her, po, just tell her. If you don't, well, tell her anyway. Tell her that you're really happy with your dad and that you don't want to hurt your dad because thanks to her, you know how much it hurts to get left by someone you love.
However, she is still your biological mother, and she seems to still love you and want to be a part of your life. Maybe it would be worth it to give her another chance? Just think, she obviously wasn't happy with your dad but for six years, she stayed. I'm pretty sure she did that for you.
It's up to you if take my advice you forgive her or not; I'm just pointing out that she loves you.
Though, honestly, judging from how she's acting, I don't really like your mom either. Who posts "My daughter doesn't want to talk to me anymore." on their daughter's Wall? It's like she doesn't really take your (possible) reconciliation seriously.
Also, maybe your dad wants to protect you from further emotional scarring by your mother, but when they um... 'created you', they knew the emotional and physical risks involved. He may have done all the hard work in raising you and your stepmom may have more or less taken the place of your real mom, but you need closure.
You need to tell your mother how you feel, how she hurt you, how she hurt your dad, how she's hurting you again now by making you choose between them and make sure she gets it. If it seems like she does, then the two of you can decide if you want to stay in contact (Tell your dad if you do and make sure you explain it so he knows that your mom is really sorry and just wants another chance and there is no way in hell that you would ever leave him.) or if you want to permanently cut ties with her. If it were up to me, though, I'd choose the former since personally, I think you can never have enough people who care for you in your life. But it's not up to me, it's up to you. and I really hope you end up being happy with whatever you choose. heart

BTW po, hindi sila nag-civil marriage kasi ang civil marriage may legal contract. If nag civil marriage cla. Kakasuhan cla ng State (government) for bigamy.  

[Reie]

All I can say is that your dad seems to be a great dad since he did not leave you all those years even when his own world seemed to have no hope anymore. smile Don't forget to thank him for that.

As for your mom..well, she is still your mom afterall. BUT that does not mean that you'd have to give in to all her demands (i.e go with her and leave your dad). But as what I can see, you're happy and contented in your situation now with your dad and stepmom. smile On the contrary, give some time to your mother too. smile Maybe she feels like she needs to make up with you for the time both of you were supposed to have. So, why not give it to her? Phone and video calls can suffice anyway. smile In addition, if you have something to say to your mom that you really want her to know, do not hesitate to do so. smile In that way, further misunderstandings can be avoided.

But remember that you know how to decide for yourself now and whatever decision that you'll make, you have to face the consequences of your actions. In the end, it's not up to us to decide what you're supposed to do. smile Good Luck. smile  

[JanilIa]

jerico081

Pwede mo pa naman kausapin kahit through phone or net mama mo para alam din nya kung ano na ng yayari sa buhay mo pero sabihin mo na lang din na mas masaya ka dito sa Pilipinas. Pero ikaw bahala pakiramdam ko medo may konting bitterness ka sa kanya. Syempre hindi ko naman alam buong istorya kaya sa kwento mo lang ako nag be-base.

Pwede ko nga siya makausap pero I don't want to, pero ginagwa niya akong guilty. And everytime I talk to her she keeps on saying things I don't even want to hear, like "sama ka nlang dito sakin sa US" :  

[JanilIa]

Chinobatchii Yosai

lam mo poh ate .. un na nga po snbe mo n umiyak dad mo while talking to you kc totoo un nangyare .. which is for sure na mom mo tlga my mali .. pero tell to your dad that your not gonna come with your mom in states .. maging masya ka kung anung meron ka .. kc ung ibang tao hindi katulad mo na kumpleto pa den at my nag aaruga sayo ..

paki add n lng ako ^_^

for more advices

Tomo ka dn. My dad knows naman na hindi ko siya iiwanan. Dahil pag iwanan ko siya 80% possibility that he'll suicide. rolleyes  

[JanilIa]

-X- NaeL -X-

Walang hiya ka SIS hikari crying pinaiyak mo ako..amp.., pero ito pwede mo rin sigurung kausapin ung papa mo tungkol sa communication nio ng mama mo.Tsaka d mo maikakaila na ang parents ay mag aalala sa kanilang mga anak right?Tapos, in the first place mama mo sia kaya may right rin syang mag communicate sau sis at icheck status mo ngaun kung ok klng (like that like that) But kung talagang iniinsist nya na sumama ka sakanya d ko masasabe yan kasi ikaw lng makakapagdecide nyan (pero siguru d ka sasama, may konting hatred ka sa mama mo eee)kung d ka sasama sa mom mo well sabihin mo sakanyang masaya na kayu ditu and infact ur stepmom really treats u like her real daughter, right? (eh kung dun ka marame kapang ieentertain about ur outside sis/bro and exactly ur stepdad. but if ever na aalis ka sa side ng papa mo just tell him ur reason calmly siguru maiintindihan karen nya, kasi nga mahal ka nya biggrin

pero Sis ikaw lang makakadecide nyan...ganito lng yan "piliin mo kung saan ka mas masaya at kung saan ka mascomportable"
(alam ko sa papa mo halata sa story telling mo, "but" if I were you sa PAPA mo ako papanig biggrin )

SANA this could help a little<

~Sis Megumi~

panig dn ako sa dad ko ;D But she keeps on insisting na sumama daw ako sa kanya in US just to get that effin GREEN CARD rolleyes It annoys me a lot, I'm comfortable with my dad and stepmom. And I'm happy with my condition. Ayoko na makipag usap sa kanya dahil ayaw ko na ng gulo. Its like, She has her own life now and I have my own. May iba na siyang pamilya. Anyways, its her fault that she left me at such a young age. stare  

[JanilIa]

ALI Godsend

you're dad is one great man. nakakaiyak naman. pero advice ko ate, iba pa rin kasi ang love ng totoong nanay. so wag mo siyang pipigilan na macontact ka, yung oras pa lang na magkausap kayo, kahit nonsense usapan, basta marinig niya boses mo, masarap na feeling na yun para sa kanya.

at least you're happy on your father's side. love your stepmom but not as much as your love with your REAL mom. iba pa rin dapat kung saang sinapupunan ka nanggaling.

I love my stepmom more than my real mom neutral I know natutuwa siya marinig boses ko and so on and so forth. Pero she keeps on telling about the past and she keeps on telling me to ask permission from my dad to go with her to US even just for a month. neutral and I don't like it :S  

[JanilIa]

aportadera

Ate, just explain how you feel to your mother. If you miss her, po, just tell her. If you don't, well, tell her anyway. Tell her that you're really happy with your dad and that you don't want to hurt your dad because thanks to her, you know how much it hurts to get left by someone you love.
However, she is still your biological mother, and she seems to still love you and want to be a part of your life. Maybe it would be worth it to give her another chance? Just think, she obviously wasn't happy with your dad but for six years, she stayed. I'm pretty sure she did that for you.
It's up to you if take my advice you forgive her or not; I'm just pointing out that she loves you.
Though, honestly, judging from how she's acting, I don't really like your mom either. Who posts "My daughter doesn't want to talk to me anymore." on their daughter's Wall? It's like she doesn't really take your (possible) reconciliation seriously.
Also, maybe your dad wants to protect you from further emotional scarring by your mother, but when they um... 'created you', they knew the emotional and physical risks involved. He may have done all the hard work in raising you and your stepmom may have more or less taken the place of your real mom, but you need closure.
You need to tell your mother how you feel, how she hurt you, how she hurt your dad, how she's hurting you again now by making you choose between them and make sure she gets it. If it seems like she does, then the two of you can decide if you want to stay in contact (Tell your dad if you do and make sure you explain it so he knows that your mom is really sorry and just wants another chance and there is no way in hell that you would ever leave him.) or if you want to permanently cut ties with her. If it were up to me, though, I'd choose the former since personally, I think you can never have enough people who care for you in your life. But it's not up to me, it's up to you. and I really hope you end up being happy with whatever you choose. heart

BTW po, hindi sila nag-civil marriage kasi ang civil marriage may legal contract. If nag civil marriage cla. Kakasuhan cla ng State (government) for bigamy.

Thank you for the advice ^^ It helped a lot c: I'll tell her n lang if I see her personally. I don't want to talk her again by phone or facebook. It'll be better that way. c:  

[JanilIa]

Reie

All I can say is that your dad seems to be a great dad since he did not leave you all those years even when his own world seemed to have no hope anymore. smile Don't forget to thank him for that.

As for your mom..well, she is still your mom afterall. BUT that does not mean that you'd have to give in to all her demands (i.e go with her and leave your dad). But as what I can see, you're happy and contented in your situation now with your dad and stepmom. smile On the contrary, give some time to your mother too. smile Maybe she feels like she needs to make up with you for the time both of you were supposed to have. So, why not give it to her? Phone and video calls can suffice anyway. smile In addition, if you have something to say to your mom that you really want her to know, do not hesitate to do so. smile In that way, further misunderstandings can be avoided.

But remember that you know how to decide for yourself now and whatever decision that you'll make, you have to face the consequences of your actions. In the end, it's not up to us to decide what you're supposed to do. smile Good Luck. smile

Thanks for the advice c: I know I have to talk to her. But I wish she'll understand. : I tried telling her before but she changed the topic xp  

[ta3min_minh0]

Mahal ka talaga ng father mo...
Stay ka na lng sa kanya...  

[JACKAL17 Extreme]

Mhiemi-Chan

Aww.. rolleyes Grabe naman yung story... Pero i commend you, Inspite of everything that happened to you, maganda pa rin yung paglaki mo. Coz other people will resort to the influence of alcohol, drugs and bad vices.

Just keep in mind na whatever happens, your mom is still your first and only mom. Feelings may fade, pero we can't deny the fact na anak ka niya at sa kaniya ka nanggaling. Mahirap din yung situation ng Mom mo. Kasi di ka rin niya matiis and im sure mahal na mahal ka niya,

As for your dad, mas naaawa ako sa dad mo. kasi, andun yung worry niya na iwan mo siya at sumama ka sa mama mo, and a promise of owning a greencard. hanga din ako sayo dahil sa pagmamahal mo sa papa mo at ayaw mo siyang masaktan.

Siguro, ang gagawin ko, kakausapin ko na lang yung papa ko, and tell him na you wont really leave him. Pero, respetuhin niya na kailangan mo ring makausap ang mama mo online.

Walang kailangan pang masaktan pa sa sino man sa kanila. pero di ka rin dapat ma deprive na makita ang real mom mo, gusto mo man o hinde.