souzaku morei

[archangelnello]

Name:Souzaku morei

Aliases/nicknames: soul eater

Physical Description:souzaku is 5'11 and 175 pounds he is trimmed with muscle from hours of training everyday, he has jet black hair and a rare shade of blue colored eyes. he wears a traditional soul reaper outfit except he has a long black coat instead of the waist length jacket

[Age: 20 years old and 3 months born february13 1550


Zanpakuto Spirit's name:sourita (soul eater) Shikai release phrase,devour sourita.

Shikai:link:http://www.trueswords.com/images/prod/c/dragon_engraved_katana_sword_black_blade_540.jpg

[Bankai:link:http://www.sharecg.com/images/medium/14363.jpg

Skills:keen eyes, sharp hearing

Abilities: shunpo acheived will earn the rest through rping

Personality: souzaku is a kind person and is very loyal to his comrades, he is also very aggressive in combat, he is willing to abandon petty differences when it comes to saving lives, souzaku is brave and reliable.souzaku likes to keep to himself mostly but is know to open up to those he trusts.

Biography:souzaku was born in the world of living during the age of warring states in japan his father was a lord samurai and bodyguard to tatanobu nobunaga feudal lord of Osaka. As a young boy he was trained in combat by his father alongside his brothers, after nearly 6 years of training souzaku had become 16 and was accredited as one of the youngest to ever achieve the rank of lord samurai he accompanied his father into many battles.He fought in 4 large battles and 6 small scale fights overall. it was at the age of 20 when he was killed, his father was murdered by the man he was tasked to protect nobunaga and as a vow of revenge souzaku returned to kill nobunaga. only to end up having to fight a group of 30 men to get to him he managed to kill nearly the whole of 30 men when nobunaga snuck up behind him and plunged his sword into his back killing him almost instantly. souzaku has spent almost 100 years in the soul society before he was acknowledged for his swordsman skills and was allowed to join the ranks of the soul society where he worked his way up the ranks to become captain of squad 3

Signature/Patented Technique:none

Seat:captain of squad 3

Online Schedule: im on everyday for atleast 2 hours  

[SpokenSoftly]

First, use the standardized profile format. This won't be approved regardless of what you do until that's taken care of.

Now on to the individual problems.

Item 1: This profile as a whole looks like you rolled d20 and only punctuated correctly on a nat1.

Item 2: The Seireitei keeps rather precise records. Unless your character originated in Rukongai's uttermost outskirts they would likely know his age to within a month.

Item 3: 5'11" and 140lbs is falling-down anorexic. There wouldn't be any muscle tone to speak of.

Item 4: Too many commas.

Item 5: So this guy feels honor-bound to kill anyone who makes him laugh? Nice.

Item 6: Ironically, too few commas later in the 'traits and personality' section.

Item 7: Yes, we know. You've mentioned his serious and stoic attitude three times already. I'll bet money you won't stick to it IC.

Item 8: Again with the stoicism.

Item 9: A blade made of silver is, while aesthetically interesting, ******** useless in combat.

Item 10: Shikai and Bankai do not alter the physical form of a Shinigami in any way.

Item 11: Zanpakuto spirits are not demons. They are Zanpakuto spirits and nothing more.

Item 12: If your Bankai has the ability to steal or copy the abilities of any other Shikai, Bankai, or similar release state of a non-Shinigami this profile is going to get canned. Edit that out now.

Item 13: Completely and permanently gaining all the abilities of anyone you kill is so far beyond 'bullshit' I don't know where to start. 'Horseshit' might be a good line to run from.

Item 14: To save time and items, assume I've found something severely ******** up with the rest of your Bankai and am just too overwhelmed to type it all out.

Item 15: List Kido and Hado, please.

Item 16: Vampire-sword should be listed with the Shikai, not in the 'abilities' section. (to be fair, it shouldn't be listed at all, since it's totally unrelated to your Shikai concept).

Item 17: Either list all of your abilities or earn them. Saying you'll list more 'when you figure them out' is both arrogant and stupid, and will get this profile canned anywhere you submit it that's worth roleplaying in.

conclusion: Rework all of the above listed items, quote this post with any concerns about my objections you may have, and fix the grammar and spelling across the whole of this profile.  

[archangelnello]

Doctor_Whiteface

First, use the standardized profile format. This won't be approved regardless of what you do until that's taken care of.

Now on to the individual problems.

Item 1: This profile as a whole looks like you rolled d20 and only punctuated correctly on a nat1.

Item 2: The Seireitei keeps rather precise records. Unless your character originated in Rukongai's uttermost outskirts they would likely know his age to within a month.

Item 3: 5'11" and 140lbs is falling-down anorexic. There wouldn't be any muscle tone to speak of.

Item 4: Too many commas.

Item 5: So this guy feels honor-bound to kill anyone who makes him laugh? Nice.

Item 6: Ironically, too few commas later in the 'traits and personality' section.

Item 7: Yes, we know. You've mentioned his serious and stoic attitude three times already. I'll bet money you won't stick to it IC.

Item 8: Again with the stoicism.

Item 9: A blade made of silver is, while aesthetically interesting, ******** useless in combat.

Item 10: Shikai and Bankai do not alter the physical form of a Shinigami in any way.

Item 11: Zanpakuto spirits are not demons. They are Zanpakuto spirits and nothing more.

Item 12: If your Bankai has the ability to steal or copy the abilities of any other Shikai, Bankai, or similar release state of a non-Shinigami this profile is going to get canned. Edit that out now.

Item 13: Completely and permanently gaining all the abilities of anyone you kill is so far beyond 'bullshit' I don't know where to start. 'Horseshit' might be a good line to run from.

Item 14: To save time and items, assume I've found something severely ******** up with the rest of your Bankai and am just too overwhelmed to type it all out.

Item 15: List Kido and Hado, please.

Item 16: Vampire-sword should be listed with the Shikai, not in the 'abilities' section. (to be fair, it shouldn't be listed at all, since it's totally unrelated to your Shikai concept).

Item 17: Either list all of your abilities or earn them. Saying you'll list more 'when you figure them out' is both arrogant and stupid, and will get this profile canned anywhere you submit it that's worth roleplaying in.

conclusion: Rework all of the above listed items, quote this post with any concerns about my objections you may have, and fix the grammar and spelling across the whole of this profile.

would it be acceptable for me to temporarily use someones abilities instead of steal them permanently  

[SpokenSoftly]

Not in any context can you steal someone else's abilities.  

[archangelnello]

ok then but is the stealing of reishie unacceptable  

[SpokenSoftly]

Not as such, no.

Oh, and here's some predictable news: Little Miss Butthurt just PMed me and said that she's quit because we 'don't allow our members creative freedom.'

You gotta love arrogance-masked-by-self-righteous-indignation.  

[archangelnello]

well i redid my profile but its just a sample id like to get your opinion on it so i can continue to make it better  

[SpokenSoftly]

The point of the 'edit' button should be apparent at this point. Do not create multiple profile threads.  

[archangelnello]

my apologies ill delete the other thread and repost it here  

[archangelnello]

ok i reposted it  

[SpokenSoftly]

Please keep exactly to the formatting of the profile skeleton, including bolded text and justifications.

You have no Shikai or bankai. Please actually describe them.

I absolutely refuse to review that bio. Ask Rin for advice and prepare for a lashing. I've dealt with too much badfic today as it is.  

[archangelnello]

i apologize i am no where near a pro at ring or profile creating i never once said i was but i will continue to work on it till i am one  

[archangelnello]

i have nothing against anyone in this guild and nothing against the critisim im recieved here i know it was purely constructive and i thank you for it but i realize i am not dedicated enough to be in this guild i would not be able to keep up a stream of perfectly literate posts so i am departing from this guild thank you all for all the help including you dr whiteface i understand you only do what you have to do to keep bad rpers out