"You leave me alone, I leave you alone."

[The Stories Never Told]

I live in a state full of Christians.

And as such, much of my friends are Christians.

As it happens, many have tried to witness to me, bring me to their church, "feel the love" and such, but I pleasantly decline, recalling upon the age old system of not bringing religion up at all.

It usually works, but every once in a while, you get the feeling that you're not doing the best you can to get to know this person. Friends are usually those people you'd like to know, but when there's so much bigotry between paths and faiths, how can you really get to know them when there's a large "You're wrong!" coming your way?

So, I ask to give a solution to this dilemma. What would you do? Would it affect the relationship in a negative manner?  

[Morgandria]

I knew people like that in high school. They were always asking me to come to their church or other events -and I did, politely, and I enjoyed it for what it was, a social outing. But I never once showed any interest in converting to their faith, and eventually they drifted off and left me alone. They weren't interested in me for me - they were interested in making me change.

My best friend in the entire world goes to the same church, and knows the same people. And she has never in her life attempted to convert me, or even brought up the subject. We are friends because we are interested in each other as people - not as religious entities.

Now, it is a different situation - I am Canadian, and most people aren't really as wound up about religious stuff as in the US. But I posit to you that the people around you are no different, albeit perhaps more insistent and rude. They have an ulterior motive - they want to convert you. If they were really interested in your friendship, they wouldn't be continually witnessing to you. All that says is that "I like you, but you'd be so much better if you'd change to suit my preferences".

I mean, really - what does it say about a person who likes you for who you are, until who you are is something different from them, and suddenly you're wrong and need changing? I understand the value some forms of Christianity place on witnessing, but somehow I fail to see harassment as a useful tool for understanding.

Ask them to hang out with you without the proselytizing, plain and simple. Be very clear that you have no desire to be witnessed to. If they don't or can't interact with you after that, then it's clearly evident that that was really their main intention, not friendship.  

[Dr. H. Lecter]

You know, as someone who has spent all his life, and is still Christian, I find it annoying when I hear things like this. Not because there's fault to be found with you, of course, but because people should put their sole focus on getting people to convert!

Among my friends, we have Buddist, Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Agnostic and Mormon. Sure, we talk about religion at times, but it's a disscussion, and no one is trying to convert eachother.

I don't see why religions have to fight. Can't we just do our thing in peace? If a person wants to convert, let them. But don't push it on anyone...

Another small note. Tell your friends that you will, in fact, go to an event at their church. If they go to one in yours. Invite them to the woods or park one night, and just make a peaceful circle and meditate. Light some candles, do a spell of healing for someone sick. Show them that what you do is as beautiful as anything they do in church.  

[Morgandria]

Dr. H. Lecter

Another small note. Tell your friends that you will, in fact, go to an event at their church. If they go to one in yours. Invite them to the woods or park one night, and just make a peaceful circle and meditate. Light some candles, do a spell of healing for someone sick. Show them that what you do is as beautiful as anything they do in church.

It's a decent thought. At the very least, if they can't or won't reciprocate a church visit, they should understand the hypocrisy that creates in them, and back off some. But they might not see that. After all, if they honestly believe that whatever form of Paganism you're practicing is wrong, and endangers your soul, then they would be stupid to agree to take part and damn themselves, as well. It's very hard to show what you do, no matter how pretty or pleasant, when they believe it is wrong, a sign of corruption or spiritual sickness, and a gateway to damnation.

I agree that it would be wonderful if people didn't feel the need to 'push' - but some folks have been taught that 'push' = 'love', and that 'saving' someone is the best way to show you care about them. In those cases, they're always going to be pushing, and there's not much you can do. Many Christian sects also teach that it is a moral imperative to lead others to salvation (although most seem to miss the more important part of that - through their deeds). I'm not sure that harassment counts as a deed, for Jesus' purposes. Some people will take the pushing with gentle good humour, or ignore it, and there isn't a row. Others don't take being pushed well, and will push back. It may be that 'push' is a moral imperative to religion 'A', and 'push back' is a moral imperative to religion 'B'.

And that's why religions don't leave each other alone - each of them has certain issues they're willing to push back about.

I also have to be somewhat disagreeable here. It's well and nice to show others what you do - there are many beautiful things in Pagan religions - but my path is sometimes about not-nice things. It is strewn with blood and bone and sacrifice. There are dark spaces, as well as light, and I'm not going to favour one over the other. I think they are equally as important, and beautiful in their own ways.

I'm well aware that makes some other religions nervous, unhappy, and disapproving. So be it. Just because their religions have internalized the good/evil - dark/light-order/chaos dichotomy introduced to the world via Zoroastrianism, doesn't mean mine has. They don't have to walk my path. I shouldn't have to make what I do seem innocent, harmless, love and light, just to mollify those who in the end have no authority to ask me to change.

Why should I, or anyone else, Disney-fy their pagan religion to accommodate the comfort levels or beliefs of other people? Is it right for outsiders to ask those within a particular community or culture to change or get rid of things they don't like?

(PS - Rhetorical questions, 'cause I roll like that. Don't feel obliged to answer them.)  

[The Stories Never Told]

Dr. H. Lecter

You know, as someone who has spent all his life, and is still Christian, I find it annoying when I hear things like this. Not because there's fault to be found with you, of course, but because people should put their sole focus on getting people to convert!

Among my friends, we have Buddist, Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Agnostic and Mormon. Sure, we talk about religion at times, but it's a disscussion, and no one is trying to convert eachother.

I don't see why religions have to fight. Can't we just do our thing in peace? If a person wants to convert, let them. But don't push it on anyone...

Another small note. Tell your friends that you will, in fact, go to an event at their church. If they go to one in yours. Invite them to the woods or park one night, and just make a peaceful circle and meditate. Light some candles, do a spell of healing for someone sick. Show them that what you do is as beautiful as anything they do in church.

I'm gonna have to agree with Morgan's points on this one, especially the latter part.

My path is a rather complicated one, and occasionally contains a rather vengeful aspect of itself. Christianity doesn't exactly contain such things, so it's a no brainer as to why I don't really want people to see me practice (needless to say, I don't really have to bring up the vengeful history of Christianity)...