-The Past is History-

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Hmmm. I didn't even know this section was here...how awful is that? I suppose I will start my own little journal area here.

About Me:

So many places I could begin. So little time. My name is Angel legally...well no...technically its legally Angle since some person working at the hospital when I was born obviously didn't know or care how to spell it properly. I think that's something important...a name is an identifier...it often times shapes who you become. Honestly though I don't think my name had much to do with who I've become. But I digress...I love the name Lia so one day I am going to change my name to that. Everyone always says Angel is better...prettier...I don't think so at all...but it was given to me by my biological mother who I don't really care for.

Anyways, so you can call me Lia...or Angel if you want...it really doesn't matter all that much.

I've had three usernames since I started here on Gaia. The first was Darkrose072687. The second was FantasyAngel22. Now I am Rainbowpop26. I most likely will change it again sometime in the future.

I was raised by my great aunt...she was still my mom to me. When she died my world fell apart and I've made nothing but really bad decisions ever since then. My family fought me in court for my mom's stuff and I won. I blew all the money she left behind for me like an idiot and here I am. Trapped in a pretty unhappy relationship, with no where to go, no one to turn to. No job. No money. Woo freaking hoo. Could be worse I guess. I could be dead.

I very nearly died the other day. It was freaking scary. I went to the hospital because I was having an allergic reaction (I still don't know what caused it). They gave me a shot of epinephrine and two shots of steroids. I had enough time to walk over to Robert a foot away before everything started going white. I woke up with three nurses standing over me. I found out later that they did chest compressions on me. I died I think. Woo hoo. Still here though thankfully. I really don't wanna die its one of my major fears in life. Oh well...


Today I was made a crew member. I'm so happy. I'm trying to do my best. Its rougher on this tablet than I thought it would be though. Yes quite a pain in the a**.

Anyway...I guess that's all I'm going to write for now...may follow up tomorrow if I'm not too busy. If you read all this...thanks you're a pretty patient person aren't you? razz

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Hmmm. I didn't even know this section was here...how awful is that? I suppose I will start my own little journal area here.

About Me:

So many places I could begin. So little time. My name is Angel legally...well no...technically its legally Angle since some person working at the hospital when I was born obviously didn't know or care how rofl

*waves hi*

*brings cupcakes* yum_cupcake yum_cupcake yum_cupcake  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

*waves hi*

*brings cupcakes* yum_cupcake yum_cupcake yum_cupcake

Hai! 4laugh My tablet trolled me and posted my entry before I was done. Thanks for stopping by! I love cupcakes!  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Hai! 4laugh My tablet trolled me and posted my entry before I was done. Thanks for stopping by! I love cupcakes!

Tablet: "I'ma gonna post before your done! trolololol"

I have a little crappy tablet but I don't use it for Gaia right now. I want to get it one of those sleeves with a keyboard so I can actually type stuff when I use it.

Man that allergic reaction was SCARY stuff! emotion_hug Glad you made it out okay!  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

Hai! 4laugh My tablet trolled me and posted my entry before I was done. Thanks for stopping by! I love cupcakes!

Tablet: "I'ma gonna post before your done! trolololol"

I have a little crappy tablet but I don't use it for Gaia right now. I want to get it one of those sleeves with a keyboard so I can actually type stuff when I use it.

Man that allergic reaction was SCARY stuff! emotion_hug Glad you made it out okay!

Exactly! It even made the troll face at me according to the smiley URL lol.

This one is persnickety! I want one of those sleeves too! I don't really have any other means of accessing the internet right now so this tablet is my best bet and its still costing us an arm and a leg lol.

Yea it really scared me...it was literally like waking up...and I was confused as heck...thanks <3 I'm really glad too emotion_hug

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Exactly! It even made the troll face at me according to the smiley URL lol.

This one is persnickety! I want one of those sleeves too! I don't really have any other means of accessing the internet right now so this tablet is my best bet and its still costing us an arm and a leg lol.

Yea it really scared me...it was literally like waking up...and I was confused as heck...thanks <3 I'm really glad too emotion_hug

PMing you a link or two... Carry on journaling if you so wish cat_4laugh  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

Exactly! It even made the troll face at me according to the smiley URL lol.

This one is persnickety! I want one of those sleeves too! I don't really have any other means of accessing the internet right now so this tablet is my best bet and its still costing us an arm and a leg lol.

Yea it really scared me...it was literally like waking up...and I was confused as heck...thanks <3 I'm really glad too emotion_hug

PMing you a link or two... Carry on journaling if you so wish cat_4laugh

Awesomesauce! I love PMs <3!

Haha eventually I will razz

 

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

07/10/2012

I was just about to head to bed last night when my best friend called. She had a flat tire and wanted to know if Robert could come help her change it. 2 am. We didn't really have the gas so we borrowed Robert's dad's truck. We get there and Robert and her start to change the tire... I asked her if they wanted me to help and she said no...I said oh well I probably would just get in the way and she said yep! She has a long history of putting me down...a lot of the time she talks to me like I am dirt. I love her though she is my best friend...I love her daughter too she is the most adorable little girl in the whole world...I put up with the down talking to get to see her but I feel like s**t a lot. I've bent over backwards to help her and her family and I still get talked to like that...its depressing....I also found out that they pretty much make fun of me behind my back...or her dad and her ex did anyway...oh well... my life has always gone like that. Every friend I've ever had irl uses me for money or whatever because they know I want to help people. I figure it has to be me if they all do it, right? If I attract nothing but using abusers to me then what's the common denominator here? Me. I've never had a decent loving relationship either...every guy I've ever been with has cheated on me...again it has to be me....my problem is self-esteem... I don't really have any...it probably comes from always being overweight...even as a child... I never was a normal size for my age...oh well...just venting...not really expecting anyone to say anything...

Today was an okay day all in all...after that she asked us if we would stay and help her get the house clean for her daughter's birthday party Sunday. We told her we would try to get the gas money to come back. We weren't able to and she pretty much got mad...she said that's what I thought...oh well....

I woke up around 9am after a night of bad dreams but I was still tired so I went back to sleep and then woke up again at like 1. I was like sheez I slept longer than I meant to. I got up ate something got online and started my internet day...guild stuff...being a crew member is awesome but frustrating on this tablet...I hope to get a normal computer eventually...I rather miss normal computers...

We had dinner at my house....then our roommates invited us to camp with them Friday through Sunday for one of their birthdays...should be fun...but I've never been camping before so I'm not sure I will like it...oh well you have to try new things in life sometimes... not really sure what else to write so I guess I will stop for now...

~*Lia*~

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

07/10/2012Every friend I've ever had irl uses me for money or whatever because they know I want to help people. I figure it has to be me if they all do it, right? If I attract nothing but using abusers to me then what's the common denominator here? Me. I've never had a decent loving relationship either...

Not even Robert?

RainbowPop26

07/10/2012Today was an okay day all in all...after that she asked us if we would stay and help her get the house clean for her daughter's birthday party Sunday. We told her we would try to get the gas money to come back. We weren't able to and she pretty much got mad...she said that's what I thought...oh well....

She knows you don't have gas money but demands you show up and clean her house for her?

WTF??

She is NOT your friend at all, I'm sorry to say. emotion_hug Feel free to refuse any of her demands. If she stops talking to you, well, that proves how much she values you.

emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

07/10/2012Every friend I've ever had irl uses me for money or whatever because they know I want to help people. I figure it has to be me if they all do it, right? If I attract nothing but using abusers to me then what's the common denominator here? Me. I've never had a decent loving relationship either...

Not even Robert?

Oh god no not Robert...he's cheated on me twice...he's sweet now but I just can't get over it and I certainly don't trust him...but I don't have a job and I haven't got the gas or the job experience to even get one I'm stuck...plain and simple... I could be a lot more miserable though...but I'm def not happy... I got with Robert a whole two months after my mom died...I didn't want to be alone..I have a lot if repressed sexuality issues and I honestly think I would be happier with a woman...my mom was closed minded so I never got to have a relationship with another woman (though I slept with a few and I have to admit I enjoyed it a lot more than with men...sorry if that is tmi..) and then I got with him BC I didn't want to be alone and I've been with him ever since (6 years in December). Even though he's cheated on me twice I've never cheated on him...sometimes I've really wished that I could but I don't meet new people...I don't get out...I have one friend and that's Tiffany...hell I'm not even allowed to take my own car anywhere because he says no and I paid for the damn thing....

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

07/10/2012Today was an okay day all in all...after that she asked us if we would stay and help her get the house clean for her daughter's birthday party Sunday. We told her we would try to get the gas money to come back. We weren't able to and she pretty much got mad...she said that's what I thought...oh well....

She knows you don't have gas money but demands you show up and clean her house for her?

WTF??

She is NOT your friend at all, I'm sorry to say. emotion_hug Feel free to refuse any of her demands. If she stops talking to you, well, that proves how much she values you.

emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug

I would but like I said I love Natalee too much...I've been around her since she was 6 months old...I love her like she's my own child... she is so cute...she will be 3 Monday...I call her Nit-nat but no one else does so she calls me Nit-nat... she always says I want my Nit-nat...and when I come over she comes running and saying Nit-nat! If it were just Tiffany I would probably tell her no and stand up to her but I don't want her to tell me I can't see Natalee anymore.
 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

I understand... emotion_hug Maybe once you land a job you'll be able to have more independence. emotion_hug I wish I could help you.

Natalee sounds just adorable. heart  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Thanks I sure hope so. I hope you can get a new job too! emotion_hug

She is! Super adorable!

 

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

07/11/2012

Today was an okay day. Spent the first half doing guild stuff. Went to Tiff's about 4pm and helped her with yard work, house work, and took her to the store. She made dinner and I got to spend time with Nit-nat <3. She did however make a snide backhanded remark about how at least their house isn't as dirty as SOME peoples...meaning mine...because let's face it I'm not a cleaner...I don't clean like I should I admit it and Robert cleans even less than I do and makes more of a mess than I do...oh well at least its just our room that is a mess the rest of the house is clean...our room is also pretty much the biggest room in the entire house too....oh well...

I didn't get enough sub forums cleared up today...not how I wanted to...supposed to go back and help her again tomorrow...*sigh* its really hard to keep up with my internet life when I have to help her with stuff all the time....I guess I don't mind so much...I just wish she would act a tad more appreciative and all....meh

 

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

07/12/2012

I didn't sleep very well last night...idk what it was...I already was awake all night but when I finally decided to lay down this morning about 5:45am Robert started something. I have no sex drive...well I take that back...I like to have fun by myself but I dislike having sex with Robert... he just doesn't push my buttons the right way...he's never really been a charming cassanova or anything....now all those goofy brainwashing endorphins are long gone..nothing making me want him...doesn't help that he isn't very hygienic...oh well...anyway so skip past all the gross stuff...I finally get to sleep after 6am only to toss and turn and wake up around 10... I get up and I eat something get online...get sidetracked with various things...don't do anything I need to do for the most part...then I have to wash clothes...take a shower....we go to Tiffany's to help her clean...we barely cleaned...what was the point? We sat there for like 4 hours for nothing...at least I got to see Natalee....oh well...

I'm tired....emotionally and physically....but emotionally for sure.... *sigh*

 

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

07/13/2012

What a ******** day. Always something new...around 2pm Robert's stomach started hurting really bad...he had er bathroom problems...decided to go to the ER. We get there...they take his blood, they take his urine...can't find anything wrong...they tell him to leave...we go fill his nausea prescription and stop at the gas station...he goes to the bathroom and out comes pure blood...we rush back to the ER they give him a CT...nothing that they can find...so they give him an antibiotic... I have to drive home in the dark...I'm pretty night blind...blah...make it home...headache from hell...going to bed...hope tomorrow is better....