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 Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:55 am
This is my first work I've ever posted in the guild, as I am a new member. It's an abstract short story. (Sorry for not indenting my paragraphs... Gaia doesn't read tabs. So for your comfort, I am spacing each paragraph.)
"A Work of Lucidity"
... and things just seemed so surreal at the time. I just sat there, staring at this hole in the wall that was like some strange metaphor for life. For what seemed like an eternity, I finally turned around and looked at him. All ten feet of him stood tall, towering over me and the city itself, and yet we both fit in this small room. He started to speak. His voice shot out from the bullet chamber that was his mouth. "You know, this world is so fake."
He was right. It was fake. It was all too real in my mind. "I can't keep this up forever. There comes a time where everything has to disappear." He scratched his head. "Disappear? That doesn't seem right. Has anyone ever stopped to think that I was just as real as you, or anyone else? I do see, feel, hear, touch, smell, and taste everything of this place. Why end it?" I stared deeper into the hole in the wall. It seemed to get bigger and bigger. A quarter inch, to an inch, to two inches and still it went. I put both hands on the top of my head and grabbed my hair. "I'm trying to concentrate. Stop it."
He got angry. "You don't understand. I am reality. This place is reality. You're just falling through a crack in time. This time, this place, this... world... is all of my reality." I winced in frustration. "I need to concentrate. I just need to concentrate."
A noise echoed like thunder in the room, and it was coming from the walls. Pounding. Harder and harder. His ten feet became 30 feet. He broke through the ceiling and I was terrified. The pounding got louder, and the wall in which it was coming from was starting to crack and crumble. I began to get this tingling feeling in the back of my neck and in my head, and I couldn't move. The hole in the wall was growing faster. My concentration was broken, and that was when the wall fell down and broke into millions of tiny glass pieces.
In that moment, the buildings began to drop into the cold ground. The sky, the stars, and the clouds collided with the mountains. The sun and moon melded into one, then melted into the landscape. Water rose from the rivers, lakes, oceans and seas, and flooded that tiny room although the wall was shattered.
There, right behind me, a thousand voices, a thousand souls, screamed like a ten score devil and I fell through. The hole sucked me in and I wasn't resisting. Everything became lucid and I just float there, not asking any questions.
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 4:49 am
o_O
Wow! That was great >.~
Other than it being a little confusing right at the beginning it was very well written
^.^
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:36 pm
Ever_lasting_Flame o_O
Wow! That was great >.~
Other than it being a little confusing right at the beginning it was very well written
^.^
Thanks! It's about time someone finally posted in this guild for the first time in a month! xd Thanks for your input! I really tried to get vivid, but detailed... if that makes sense. Sort of capture the abstract writing style all in a few paragraphs.
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Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:45 am
.Mr. .Disco. Ever_lasting_Flame o_O
Wow! That was great >.~
Other than it being a little confusing right at the beginning it was very well written
^.^
Thanks! It's about time someone finally posted in this guild for the first time in a month! xd Thanks for your input! I really tried to get vivid, but detailed... if that makes sense. Sort of capture the abstract writing style all in a few paragraphs. ^.^
You have really captured me into this story. If you have more I would love to read it
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Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:56 am
Ever_lasting_Flame .Mr. .Disco. Ever_lasting_Flame o_O
Wow! That was great >.~
Other than it being a little confusing right at the beginning it was very well written
^.^
Thanks! It's about time someone finally posted in this guild for the first time in a month! xd Thanks for your input! I really tried to get vivid, but detailed... if that makes sense. Sort of capture the abstract writing style all in a few paragraphs. ^.^
You have really captured me into this story. If you have more I would love to read it
I'll definitaly keep you updated. I have more works I might post up later.
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Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 10:14 am
I loved it! You're a great writer...keep it up and post more ASAP! 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 1:41 pm
I shall. I appreciate all of the input. I do request, however, that everyone is brutally honest with my work. biggrin
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 11:00 am
.Mr. .Disco. I shall. I appreciate all of the input. I do request, however, that everyone is brutally honest with my work. biggrin Do not worry ^.^ I am quite good at that
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 5:21 am
Ever_lasting_Flame .Mr. .Disco. I shall. I appreciate all of the input. I do request, however, that everyone is brutally honest with my work. biggrin Do not worry ^.^ I am quite good at that
Good to hear. 3nodding
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