Well I'm going to start off by saying I am currently going to graduate from college in December. I'm very blessed to have completed a very long journey to further my education.
Of the hard five and a half years I've been in school for three I had my boyfriend with me. I have my last semester of college, I'll be gradating with a degree in art. My boyfriend is also an artist. We both want to be illustrators which is what attracted us to each other. We both believe in God and that Jesus is our savior, it's why I really wanted to date him.
During those times things were really hard though. His aunt kicked him from her house. He was living with my family because I begged my mother to help him. I lived on campus at school. Then got a job, was living fine, but my mother is a horrible person and very controlling and kicked him from her house, after that lived off and on with me on campus. Then I found a place off campus and he could've lived with me there, but had no job so my boyfriend had to go back to his home town. Six months later found a job back in the town I lived in, got to move in, but then everyone in the apartment had to move away because the landlord need a place to live because she got divorced from her husband. Needless to say everyone moved out and my and my boyfriend found a place where the rent was cheap. We finally both found jobs three months later to afford rent. It was a real blessing honestly. We finally had a job to work at and we had a place to stay I was quite happy.
We spend a year together, he paid the rent and I brought the food. For a good year. Well fast forward to about August of this year and my boyfriend decided he was a stronger relationship with God. Needless to say I was ecstatic. I encouraged him to go to church and I was invited and started doing bible studies. I really enjoy the church that found us. Yet, many things had to change and when things change they change fast.
Well, we could no longer live with each other any more. I was actually really happy about that. I was coming home angry every night from work because he didn't clean up, there were soda cans every where, pretty much I was living with a bachelor. So I was very happy to finally clean up the apartment. Well, he moved out to the singles home the guys in church made, because there are more single men then women at the church. I was alright with this. I didn't have to worry about him, he was within biking distance and it wasn't like we haven't been apart before. Well, the thing was I had school coming up soon and I can only work three days out of the week. I could afford the rent, it would be difficult to do by my self, but I could do it. Well a week before school starts he can't stay at the single house anymore because the landlord won't let him cause he's not on the lease. So now he's homeless because he can't live with me.
Two weeks before school and I ask my friend to live with her. Now, this is defiantly a blessing because her mother just brought her own home and could allow me to live with them. The rent was cheap and I even get a few meals at times. Yay! Thank you, Jesus. Now I have a place to stay and he has one. What could go wrong? Everything was going great.
Now keep in mind we are both artist and we need tools to do our artwork. Around this time there is a contest for artist called Rising Stars Competition the deadline was in Oct. 15, but the contest reoccurs. I graduate in Dec. We don't live together. My boyfriend uses Photoshop to do his artwork. I use Photoshop as well. There is only one computer. I brought it. We don't live together. Now we aren't together.
Now let's start at the beginning. He asked to use the computer until Oct. I was fine with that if not a little put off. I know the work I need to do for my senior gradating semester would be a true hell. Yet, he was bent on this competition. I even told him that it reoccurs, but he was so bent on doing it now that it really hurt that he didn't care I was graduating.
Well I let him keep the computer for a month. I was doing my class work and was doing fine, but then one day I noticed I need my batteries for my camera. I keep rechargeable batteries because I use them for Xbox controllers. Well he has them. So I ask him to come over and we are the apartment and I try taking the battery charger. He tells me no. I get confused. I need this for my camera. I have to take pictures of my artwork for school. He then procedures to give me the batteris from the controllers and tells me to take these. I look at him and say this won't do. I need batteries and he tells me he needs them to play the xbox. I'm quite angry now because the computer I can understand. The xbox is just a pleasure item and is just not helping me at all. He's rubbing me the wrong way and I hate it. I blow up and he does too. He shouts that I came over to get the computer and that's all I want. I shout I just want batteries. He's crying, I'm crying. Then ...he utters something so awful I that I just was silent. "If you take the computer you can take the relationship with you." I think I snapped inside. I was quite after that I slowly down and just cried. We apologize to each other and I leave to go to my new home.
I think that was the moment I knew I was just kinda down with him. And I kinda broke. Like it's really hard to describe. Glass shattering is an understatement I just seemed to stop. Went to my friend and told her "We are going to the apartment and taking my stuff from him." The next day while he's at work I take it. I take everything that plugs in.
That night he calls and is pretty angry because he though everything was stolen, but I told him it was me. He feels betrayed and hurt and angry. I feel it equally as well.
Later that week, we met with one of the ministers of our church and they talk to us. Apparently, from the talk I got that he and I should not be together, because our properties don't match. I want to graduate, he wants to put God first. Second thing I got from the conversation was that, if I asked for anything he should've freely given it to me. The minister ask him why he didn't do that? My boyfriend avoid the question, not wanting to admit his wrongdoing. He knew what he should've done yet didn't do it.
So in the end the relationship was set aside. Which at the time I had no idea met we broke up. I thought it met the problems we were facing would be set on hold until I finished school. Nope. Broke up. I had no idea. so for a month I looked like a butt think we were together and we weren't.
I talk to him because we work at the same place ( I recommend him for a job).He doesn't even speak to me. Let's say I'm really new to dating he was my first serious relationship. I see him and he doesn't speak to me there. I managed to ask him some questions about why we broke up, but it turns out I need to figure out what I really need from a relationship and we just don't have that. He was also still peeved about the competition. Also I had trouble communicating to him.
I just wanted to have you guys pray for me to grow deeper in a relationship with God first before I ever think of a relationship with a boy again.
